Overture (Rain Dance, Book 1) (Rain Dance Series) (77 page)

     
I covered his
mouth with my hand, effectively cutting him off. "I'm a big girl, you
know. I can at least manage to get from point A to point B by myself."

     
"Well, try
not to go anywhere but to the building while I'm gone. I don't want you
accidentally running into
him
."

     
"...Is
there food in your fridge?" I asked.

     
"Fully
stocked to last the rest of the week."

     
"What a
waste. But I've got no reason to go anywhere else, then. I'll steal your
groceries, too, and bring them back here."

     
He brushed some
of my hair back. "Anything else I should be worried about replacing? The
piano, perhaps?"

     
"Worry
about things that'll fit into the back seat of the cab with me. And I would
never take the piano - I like it where it is. I'd sooner steal your bed, if I
had the chance."

     
"Do you
actually plan on sleeping there at all?"

   
  
"Of course. That's where I plan on wearing your
shirt." I suddenly remembered to check the time. "When do you have to
leave?"

     
"I still
have a little while," he answered. Leaning forward, he kissed my forehead.
Then, after a pause, my cheek. And finally, after tracing my lips with his
thumb, he gently took my mouth. I moved my lips against his, appreciating every
bit of contact. When I felt his tongue graze my bottom lip, I opened my mouth
to grant him access, only for him to pull away abruptly.

   
  
No. He hadn't pulled away.

     
I
had
pushed
him away.

     
I sat with my
palms on his chest and my arms outstretched to the fullest. A few seconds went
by before I was able to process what had caused my involuntary reaction. They
were still there - the words he had spoken before I went on my crying jag.

     
I tried not to
panic. "I'm sorry. I just…"

     
Ethan closed
his eyes for a brief second before pulling me into a tight embrace.
"Don't. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for what I said
to you. Honestly, I'm surprised you even let me touch you so soon after
that."

     
I shook my
head. "I just need some more time."

     
Kissing my
temple, he lifted me up and took us to the couch, where we sat for the next
half-hour, talking a little bit, but mostly just enjoying each other's company.
Before I could forget, I ran to get the necklace so he could put it back on me.

     
A little while
later I walked him to the door, where he left me with another long, lingering
kiss on the forehead and a reminder to keep my phone charged and with me at all
times.

     
And then he was
gone.

     
Immediately
afterwards, I was torn. Without him in plain sight, I could actually imagine
what it would be like with him on the other side of the country and not here
with me. My body was already aching for him, but at the same time I knew I
couldn't bear to have him so close to me - not just yet.

     
I didn't
believe that he had done anything wrong. His actions had seemed justified.
Whether it was out of anger, confusion, or jealousy, I wasn't sure. But, even
if his words had caused me pain, his response was natural and human. I couldn't
blame him for that.

     
But I couldn't
deny that something had changed. Because his words
had
hurt me. More
than that, they had left me feeling embarrassed and ashamed. And no matter how
badly he regretted what he had said, the damage was done. I now had insight
into what was going through his mind. Had he been thinking of Noel every time
we were together? Would I ever be able to go down on him again without
wondering if he was thinking about my past? How long would it be before we
could be intimate without me feeling like shit? It would be a while before I
could move on from this, that I was sure of. As much as I would miss him, space
was the best thing for us.

     
Looking around
the empty apartment, I was suddenly bored. Restless. It was too early to sleep
and I didn't feel like watching anything or eating. I wasn't quite ready to
clean up all the balloons yet, either. Needing to lose myself, I turned the
volume of the music up and danced.

I
woke up the next morning eager to get back to work. Sitting up in bed, I
stretched and stared at the gray sky beyond the window. There were only two
days left until the month of September was over with. October had always been
my favorite time of year back in California, and I was excited to see what it
would be like here.

     
After
showering, I went into the kitchen and checked the clock, surprised to find how
early it was. The smell of coffee lingered in the air. Coops must have made
himself a cup just before leaving not too long ago. Interestingly enough, I
hadn't heard him come back at all last night.

     
I had made sure
to clear up all the balloons, putting them on my bedroom floor instead. While
preparing a lunch, I briefly debated over whether I should hang them all up on
some string. But seeing as they would probably deflate sooner rather than
later, there was little point. I was careful not to step on any as I made my
way towards what was left of my closet. What with my limited choices, I decided
to dress casually today, but with a cute twist. I stuck with pastel colors.

     
I was a little
surprised to find Samantha wearing her hair down when I arrived at the
Luxadigm. While a permanent flush graced the apples of her cheeks, she also
appeared to be a bit somber. When I asked her if something was wrong, she
admitted that she was worried about Dale having to go away. Not about the
five-day trip he would be making on Wednesday, but the one afterwards, where he
would be gone for who knew how long. I felt for her. True, I had decided to
stay behind and send Ethan away without me - after last night's incident, the
distance was necessary. But one week wasn't really that big of a deal. Dale and
Samantha would be apart for at least a month. It wasn't an ideal situation to
be in when they were basically still in the beginning stages of their
relationship.

     
While on my way
up, I also said a quick hello to Zach, Patricia, and Henry, who I hadn't really
talked to since karaoke night. He mostly talked about how surprised he and
everyone was over my performance and suggested that we all do it again
sometime. I tried not to blush and fidget, but it was awkward having him
compliment me.

     
I was glad when
it was finally just me surrounded by my angels. I said good morning to each and
every one of them before getting straight into painting.

     
It was quiet as
I worked, even with the music playing in the background. The time began to pass
fairly quickly as I progressed. When lunch came around, I had already moved on
to the fluffy clouds that overlapped certain parts of the cherubs. When I was
finished with them, it would just be a matter of adding a few more layers and
then fine-tuning everything with extra details, such as the effect of the sun
hitting below the sea, in turn creating a soft glow that would highlight
portions of the water and the angels. Because I would be switching over to
oils, I knew that the final section was likely to be quick and easy - that's
why I was so confident that I would be done by the end of the week.

     
Things were
going very well and I was starting to feel extremely proud of myself for
actually being able to pull it off. Of course, I remembered then that it was
doubtful that the room, and thus my work, would ever be seen or used for
anything. Even so, I was alright with that. I was happy with it, and that was
all that mattered. Hopefully Ethan would be, too.

     
When
five-thirty neared, I was more than ready to go home. I'd already been yawning
every couple of minutes and my aching body was begging for a bubble bath.
Knowing I wouldn't be able to go on for much longer, I quickly cleaned up and
called for a cab.

     
Coops was
already back at the apartment waiting with food. In the short time we'd been
living together, it had become customary for us to enjoy a large dinner and a
few of our favorite movies the night before he was scheduled to leave. But now
that day belonged to Samantha and I instead got the second day before he left.

     
When he tried
apologizing, I told him not to be silly. Of course he would want to spend that
last bit of time with his girlfriend. It would also allow me to make good use
of the key Ethan had given me. I let Dale know that I wouldn't be coming home
at all Tuesday night, so he had free reign of the apartment. Although he tried
to hide it, it was obvious that he was very pleased to hear that.

     
Jillian ended
up calling just as we were about to watch
Junior
. Wanting to take part,
she found her old VHS copy and watched from her bedroom in California. It was a
bit tricky to get both movies playing at the same time, but eventually we got
them going side by side. We put her on speakerphone and spent the next two
hours enjoying a pregnant Schwarzenegger.

     
When the night
was over, we said goodbye to Jilly and I gave Dale a quick hug since I wouldn't
get a chance to say goodbye to him the following day.

     
While he went
to sleep, I decided to hop into the bath as I had originally planned to. I
spent a little longer than necessary in there, but was ready to pass out by the
time I was done.

     
The next
morning I felt much like I had the day before. I found myself moving without
really thinking about what I was doing. It was a repeat of motions and hellos.

     
Though still
feeling a bit down, Samantha was also looking forward to her date with Dale.
And as much as he tried to hold a proper and reserved expression, Zach was all
smiles. Apparently, he had just learned only earlier that morning that his
girlfriend of three years was expecting. I congratulated him with a quiet round
of applause before heading up.

     
For the time
that Ethan was gone, Patricia was scheduled to come in for only a few short
hours each day. She told me that, although she loved her job, she was always
happy to have more time to spend with her husband and daughter. I'd known that
she was married having noticed the ring on her finger, but that was about it.
When I asked about her daughter, she was more than happy to share. We ended up
chatting for a good ten minutes before I realized I was probably keeping her
from her work.

     
As I walked
towards my workspace, it suddenly dawned on me that I had actually grown to
really like some of these people. It was different from before when our
greetings were simply done out of politeness. Now, it felt as though I actually
worked among them. Almost like I belonged.

     
Then I realized
how ridiculous I was being. They, who were actual employees, were the ones who
belonged there, whereas I was just some silly little overpaid artist who was
only there for the boss's own curiosity and enjoyment. Now that I was being
totally honest with myself, I could say it like it was. It was the truth, after
all.

     
Humming to
myself, I threw on my apron, tied my hair back, and began prepping my paints.
It was important that I finished the project soon, before I could grow any more
comfortable with this place and its people.

     
It soon became
apparent that I had overdone it the day before, because I wasn't even a full
two hours into working when my arms started hurting. I kept at it though,
trying to ignore the aching pain.

     
My lunch break
ended up lasting over an hour as I waited for the soreness in my body to dull.
A good chunk of that time was spent thinking about Ethan. What he was doing,
how his work was going, if he was eating and sleeping enough, and so on…Neither
one of us had texted the other yet, but I probably would tonight.

     
When I went
back to work, I managed to clear my head enough to jump right back into where I
had left off. By the end of the day, I had completed the clouds and had moved
on to the final layers of blue to make the water more realistic. When there was
nothing more I could do until the paint finished drying completely, I decided
it was time to leave.

     
Excitement and
nervousness buzzed through me during the ride over to Ethan's place. It wasn't
until we pulled up to the gate that I finally calmed down. I couldn't wait to
be inside.

     
I paid and
waited until the cab drove away before entering the gate code. As I walked
along the path to the house, I wondered what I would end up watching, having
brought a few of my own movies. I also brought another bag of clothes with me
so I could go directly to the Luxadigm the next day, and since I didn't have to
worry about returning to the apartment the following morning, I could probably
stay up late.

     
Taking my time,
I walked up the steps to his front door. Maybe I was overreacting, but I didn't
care. I treated this moment as though I were opening a giant birthday present.
Pulling the key from my purse, I slipped it into the keyhole and turned it. A
large smile spread across my face when I heard the click as I unlocked the
door. Timidly, I pushed it open and took a small peek. It was silent. Empty.
After tiptoeing inside, I closed the door behind me and locked it. Almost
instantly, I felt safe.