Overture (Rain Dance, Book 1) (Rain Dance Series) (75 page)

     
Jeez…How could
I say no when he gave me
that
look? Maybe the mural could wait one more
week. Truthfully, I had never cared for New York. Too many people; too much
going on. But on the other hand…
pizza
. Also, I'd probably be spending
the nights with Ethan. I was about to say yes when I felt the sudden urge to
clear something up. "But you know, Noel would never try anything."

     
He gave me a
pitiful sort of smile. "Kitten, I'm pretty sure he would. I saw him. I
heard
him. He didn't even bother hiding the fact that he wants to get his hands on
you. Give him the chance and he will."

     
I laughed.
"He definitely won't. I know that for a fact."

     
"Do
you?"

     
"Of
course. He didn't lay a single hand on me when we spoke. Same as always."

     
Ethan fixed his
eyes on mine and an eerie stillness followed. "When you spoke…in person?
When was that?"

     
We went over
this already, right? "Friday."

     
"Friday?" His jaw twitched and I began to worry again.
"When Friday? Before you came over?"

     
"No, after
Douglas took me home."

     
He stood up so
fast I had to catch myself before I fell back. After I steadied my weight, I
searched for Ethan. He was pacing the living room.

     
"Are you
mad?" I asked, standing up.

     
He stopped and
looked at me incredulously.
Guess that was a yes.

     
"...But I
told you I had talked to him."

     
"Of
course," he laughed roughly. "You said he contacted you -
when I
asked
. You said that he texted you. You failed to mention that you spoke to
him in person. Did you lie about the diner?"

     
"Of course
not. That's where we met."

     
He pressed his
lips together, as though keeping himself from saying something. "...What
happened when you saw him? Don't leave anything out."

     
My words came
out in a rush. "I sat down. We talked. Played with the jukebox. I ate a
little bit. He called me a cab and I went home. What the hell do you think
happened? There were other people in there with us."

     
Running his
hands through his hair, he began pacing again.

     
I watched him,
confused. He was just overreacting, right? "Why are you so angry? I didn't
do anything wrong. I needed answers."

     
He stopped,
turned to look at me again and began speaking through gritted teeth,
"Nothing wrong? You
willingly
met up with him, had a fucking meal
with him, and even enjoyed some goddamn tunes together. That doesn't seem
wrong
to you?"

     
He was really
angry. Really, really angry.
Holy shit.
I shook my head nervously.

     
"Daphne,
that pitiful excuse of a man violated you for years," he continued.
"You didn't even take your phone with you. For fucks sake - you did it
purposefully just so I wouldn't know. Have you any idea how much danger you put
yourself in? I-" He cut himself off and took a deep breath before lowering
his voice. "Why? Why couldn't you have at least told me?"

     
"Because I
thought you would have tried to stop me."

     
"You're
damn right I would have," he almost shouted. "Why should you have to
resort to seeing him in person? After what he did, you shouldn't even have to
hear his name ever again."

     
"It's not
like that!" I don't know what possessed me to suddenly become defensive,
but I instantly regretted it when Ethan's expression darkened in a way that I
hadn't seen before. For a split second, I was actually frightened. No, he
wouldn't hurt me - not physically. But for a moment, I almost thought he wanted
to.

     
"…Tell me,
then," he demanded gently, his voice scarily low. "What is it
like?"

     
When I said
nothing, he began to saunter forward. My eyes were held hostage by his piercing
gaze, as was my body.

     
"What was
it like to see his face again? Were you repulsed?"

     
I swallowed
guiltily, not sure what to say.

     
"...No?
Did you have a little laugh? Was it like seeing an old friend?"

     
No
.
"Ethan..."

     
He moved to the
side, half-circling me as though I were his prey. At this moment, it felt like
I actually was.

     
"Was it a
relief to hear him explain everything?" he continued. "Did it feel
good to see him again? To be able to depend on him again?"

     
Don't
.
"Please…"

     
"What was
it like to see the man who touched you and…what? What else did he do? Finger
you? Eat you out? He could take your innocence, but not your virginity. So tell
me, did he ever get around to anal play? Or was that also off limits? Of course
he must have shoved his cock into your mouth. Told you how to take it. That's
how you could take mine so easily, right? The first time you got on your knees
for me, were you remembering what he taught you? Or did it happen so often that
it became second nature to you? And did you also swallow every last bit, going
so far as to hunt down any spilt drops?"

     
Stop it.

     
I tried to tell
him, but the most I could get out was a small whine. It was weak and pathetic.
Just like me. But still, it seemed to do the trick. Ethan stopped and closed
his eyes, and I felt free to breathe again. I looked down and tried to feign crossing
my arms when I was really just trying to hold my body together to keep from
falling apart. With every tear that fell, I felt more and more shame begin to
pool around me. I bit my lip until I tasted blood. I couldn't stop myself from
crying, but I
would
keep myself from making any sound. I stood there
with my face safely hidden under my hair, embarrassed, trying to make the
heaving of my shoulders less noticeable. I stood frozen, unable to move my
feet. Ugly. Worthless. Disgusting.

     
"I'm
sorry," I heard him say. I didn't care. He hadn't done anything wrong. It
was my fault. It had always been my fault.

     
I was startled
when he suddenly appeared in front of me. An instant later I was recoiling, my
feet finally moving when I saw him attempt to reach for me. It wasn't an
automatic reflex out of fear this time. I just couldn't handle him touching me.
He had his faults, I could see that now. But he'd been nothing but good to me.
I didn't want to taint him with my filthy self.

   
  
"Kitten." His voice was dismally quiet. I
could hear the sadness in it, and that made me want to cry even harder.

     
Unable to keep
it all in, a whimper escaped. I covered my mouth with my fist, digging into the
side of my waist with the other hand. When he tried reaching for me again, I
didn't move. This time I let him. As he pulled me in close and held me tightly,
I became aware of him in a way that I hadn't in quite some time, having grown
accustomed to him.

     
Ethan towered
over me, his warmth completely enveloping me. His entire body was firm against
mine. And his smell - that unique scent which reminded me of the sea…of home,
was enough to make me give in. As I cried into his chest, I really did feel
like a little girl. I cursed Karina for being right.

     
Minutes passed
before I finally settled down. I wiped at my eyes and sniffed, desperately in
need of tissues.

     
"I messed
up your shirt," I mumbled.

     
"Doesn't
matter."

     
He tried to get
a good look at me, but I wasn't having any of that. I covered my face with my
hands and pulled away before walking blindly towards the bathroom. He kept a
small distance, following quietly behind me and leaning onto the doorway, just
watching as I grabbed a handful of toilet paper and began blowing my nose.

     
I'd thought I
was done crying, but that small action just seemed to trigger more tears. I
covered my face again as I wept. I didn't bother holding in any sounds this
time. I felt Ethan come up behind me. Before his hands could fully take hold of
my shoulders, I was already sinking to the floor. I leaned against the bottom
of the counter, still facing away from him, and continued crying. At least this
way the toilet paper was right in front of me. After a few seconds, Ethan took
a seat behind me. He sat with me in silence as my sobbing bounced back and
forth throughout the bathroom walls.

     
Even more
minutes passed until it was finally quiet enough for me to make out the faint
sounds of a piano playing over a beat.
That's right, I had never turned the
music off.
I blew my nose one last time. It was so stuffed that I could
barely breathe through it, and it burned badly due to all the wiping. My eyes
stung and I could feel a headache starting to form on the left side of the back
of my head.

     
Slowly, I took
a deep breath. Whatever happened next, at least I knew it wouldn't break me
again. I was all cried out.
Hopefully.

     
I tried to
stand, but a tingling sensation in my foot brought me to a sharp stop. It had
fallen asleep. It wasn't the soft, fuzzy kind of tingling, but rather a thick,
painful static that made me wish my foot would just fall off completely. I
pushed my weight onto my other leg, trying my best not to move the sleeping
foot. A minute or so and the weird pain would fade.

     
Ethan must have
seen me struggling. He was up before I was, holding me by the waist and arm. I
limped sideways and turned the facet on. Keeping my head down, I washed my
hands and splashed water onto my face. It was cold and comforting and I needed
more. I needed it all around me. I needed it
in
me. When I was done, I
leaned my hands against the counter, taking another deep breath. I swallowed
and finally lifted my head to look into the mirror.

     
Splotchy face,
puffy eyes, and red nose aside, I had survived. Had I not been dolled up, I
would have looked a thousand times worse. My eyes shifted to Ethan's
reflection. He was staring back, studying me like a hawk. I couldn't stand the
look of utter anguish that marred his face. It made me feel physically ill.

     
"You look
as though you just ran over someone's cat," I said.

     
"…Kitten," he replied almost inaudibly.

     
I almost
smiled. Almost. Turning around, I squeezed his hand before walking out to grab
a glass of water. Once in the kitchen, I drank an entire cup in one go. It felt
as though I had been parched and without water for days. After refilling the
glass, I headed back into the living room and took a seat on the coffee table
instead of the couch.