Pagewalker (6 page)

My jaw fell open and a cold sweat appeared on
my brow. I felt my legs once again feel light and my chest feel
heavy, forcing me to the ground.

“What is it babe? Are you ok?” Sarah asked,
concerned as her husband knelt on the dirt path. I couldn’t speak,
my mouth had dried up and I simply handed her the page. It
read;

Dertrid’s Deed

By Christopher Mahood aged 15

I couldn’t believe it. How was it possible? I
had thrown that away years ago. It would have been wrecked; ink
would have run in the rain, unless someone had found it?

“What the hell Chris? Is this you trying to
wind me up?” Sarah jokingly tossed the page back to me “it’s not
very funny well!”

“I swear love, I have no idea how the hell
that got there, and I am seriously freaked out!” I made my way to
my feet again, picking the page up on my way. “Remember I told you
I wanted to be a writer? Well I started a book when I was like 15,
this is the first page, I swear to God I’m not joking.”

“Really? No way…. bull! Ya big lying
bugger!”

“Swear on my life babe, that’s friggin
mental!” I laughed. I folded the page into my coat pocket, grabbed
Sarah’s hand with my left and Tessa’s lead with my right. We made
our way back to the car and I told her the story of why I started
the book, the writing competition and when I threw the book out the
bedroom window in anger, just because I hadn’t made it to the
competition!

I chose to leave out the parts of the green
eyed man saving my life and the experience I had, or thought I had,
or dreamt, about Northland. Something in her eye though, I could
see that she knew, at least, she knew I was leaving something out
and was holding back.

Again time flew past. Weeks like a clock’s tick. It
was October the following year. Sarah and I were out for a
beautiful meal at my favourite restaurant. A little Italian place
with gnocchi to die for!

During the meal, Sarah reached into her bag,
which is a magic of its very own. A bottomless pit of lip gloss,
diary’s, purses, umbrellas, scarf’s, all manner of make-up, keys
and hair clips. Somehow she pulled this large square box present.
All wrapped in suitable `little princess’ wrapping paper.

“Awk love, you didn’t have to, honestly…..
but glad you did” I said with a wink.

“Shut up you big charmer, open it. Go
on!”

“Ok, but, it better not be embarrassing, the
tables are pretty close in here, and I mean I can smell yer man
next to me” I said with a whisper. The mad sitting literally inches
away from me looked over and started down his beak like nose at me
in a disgusted, yet embarrassed manner. Then shifted his chair
slightly to the left, away from me. We giggled at that.

“I’m sure he can hear you too love!” Sarah
laughed in a whispered giggle.

I opened the wrapping paper at the edges,
stripping of the sellotape carefully, ensuring I did not rip the
paper. Sarah hated this, she was a ripper, and I was a folder. I
peeled back the wrapping and pulled out the prize. It was a book; I
guessed that easily, the pages sort of gave it away you know? The
book felt great, that nice padded hardback kind. Turning the book
over in my hands I Knew what it was, but I could not believe
it.

In my hands was a hard back version of
Dertrid’s Deed. Impossible!

I flicked through the pages, inside were my
sketches, the map I drew, the entire story that I had written and
lost! For the longest time I stared and flicked, I hadn’t even
noticed our dessert arrive. I was so in awe, this was the greatest
gift I had ever received. Sarah was, and still is, the queen of
presents, be it birthday, anniversary or Christmas, she always
wins. Be it Foo Fighter tickets, holidays, comics whatever. They
are a pale reflection on this gift.

“How you….where did did……but I thought….Jesus!” was
all I managed to choke out. Sarah smiled with a mouth full of
pudding; just a slight wink she gave let me know, she knew, this
was the best gift. I could see she was waiting for me to cry, and I
was close.

“I’m not gona cry love; people will think
we’ve broken up.”

“Yea yea, sure save the waterworks for the
car then eh?”

“Aye, we can do that.” I said leaning in over
the table to kiss my wonderful wife.

“Thank you, I really love you wee girl” I
said, with only a small tear welling under my eye.

“I know, I’m awesome” she replied kissing me
again. “Now eat your dessert. I hate to see food go to waste.”

That evening was amazing. The gift was so thoughtful.
On probing further I learnt she had asked my mum about it and mum
had apparently found a copy in my room years ago. She kept it and
always meant to give it to me but always forgot. It was on a floppy
drive. So Sarah had to print it out and edit it herself behind my
back. She only changed a few words here and there. Helped the story
make sense a bit better.

That evening we were in bed and I was flicking
through the book. My eyes were heavy and I was slowly slipping into
the land of nod.

“Here, love?” Sarah whispered, “Do you mind
if I have a wee look? Haven’t really looked at it properly since it
arrived?”

“Yea babe, go on ahead” I mumbled as I turned
my back, sank into the mattress, pulled the duvet tight and drifted
off.

“Love you” she said

“Love you” I mumbled sleepily.

When I awoke, the lamp on the bedside table was still
turned on. I rolled over to her side of the bed. It was cold. Her
phone still charging and her slippers still by the side of the
bed.

I guessed that she got up in the night
because she couldn’t sleep. Sometimes she goes downstairs, puts on
Netflix of reads down there with the animals so as not to disturb
me. The fact that her slippers were here still confused, even more
so was that she did not have her phone with her. The girl is a
walking Selfie. Photographing and tweeting everything. There is no
way she wouldn’t have it with her. My heart began to beat
faster.

I got out of bed and wrapped my robe around
me. I called out as I made my way downstairs. I heard only the
sound of Tessa’s paws clicking on the wooden floor. The excited
skip she does before I open the door to the living room. Normally,
if Sarah was there, she would hush her, but no sound came. I opened
the door letting Tessa jump up to greet me by licking my hands and
making that whistling sound dogs make with their nose when excited.
I walked over to the fireplace, Sarah leaves her car keys there
when she gets in from work. They were still there. Looking out the
window, so was her wee black car . I started to get that cold
sweat. The fear and panic had well and truly set in. I ran up the
stairs and grabbed the first clothes that were on the floor, old
black jeans, a Jim beam t-shirt and a black hoodie. I slipped my
feet into my trainers and grabbed my phone, before turning to run
out the door. Just as I was turning out the lamps I noticed
something from the corner of my eye. My eyes showed me it in
perfect detail by my brain could not understand. It was not
possible. The book that Sarah was reading was open in the middle.
The section of my sketches and drawings. I had drawn the sizes of
the races of Northland and some concept ideas for the towns and
cities. The picture in the bottom right hand corner, the sketch of
the town of Aondor showed a small town with a stone bridge, a mill
wheel further down the stream connected to a stone wall that lead
up into the hills and fields. I had not drawn any people but there
was one in my sketch. A tall woman, blonde hair, a tattoo on her
back and a face that I loved. In my book, my drawings, ones I had
done over ten years ago. There stood the woman I loved, looking out
into the pages, as clear as day.

There was my wife.

Sarah was in Northland

I stared at the book with my eyes wider than
whirlpools and my mouth open chin to chest. I tried to shout, no
sound came. I had that stale, Sahara dry, metallic taste in my
sticky mouth. My throat was painful with a crusty tongue scraping,
as I tried to swallow. Sore mouth and gums, you know like when you
first wake up after a long day of travelling in an air conditioned
and pressurised aeroplane?

I could not believe this. How the hell was
this happening? I was staring at my wife. Like, her exact image in
the book, I just could not get my head around what happened. I
tried concentrating, looking, calling and even crying over the
pages. Nothing worked; nothing that I could do would get me there.
I was embarrassed at myself and annoyed. For all these years I had
convinced myself that it was all my imagination. That I had never
even set foot in Northland. Remembering that time I threw the
pages, how had I done it? I hadn’t tried, I just wanted rid of it.
Back then those pages were a reminder of my failure, I didn’t want
that in my life, school was hard enough. Now however, it’s the
opposite, I want those pages to have that magic again, more than
anything. This house already felt lonely without her. The bedroom
felt wrong. I couldn’t smell her sweet smell. There were still some
of her long blonde hairs on the pillow. Her clothes from that day
lay on the floor. Her wedding ring still hung on the little gold
cat figure beside the clock. It was a present given to her by my
mum. Silly little thing but the tail of the cat was long and
pointed up allowing you to hang jewellery on it.

I just gazed at it, mesmerized and haunted by
memories. The feeling in that moment initially was loss, like my
mind was telling me to grieve for her death but my heart knew
better. It is where hope comes from, an unexplainable feeling where
I just knew Sarah was alive. I had to find her.

I threw my clothes on, Again the first thing
that came to hand. My Soundgarden t-shirt, a pair of straight leg,
black jeans and my black and grey trainers. I grabbed my double
length black snood and wrapped myself in my army green jacket. Not
one of those stupid furry hooded ones, that ‘pillock’ mods wore on
their Vespas, but as green double length jacked with a Black label
society patch sewn on the arm and two Zombie pin badges on the
front. I grabbed my black messenger bag and in it I packed some of
Sarah clothes, a hoodie, and pair of jeans, flat shoes, socks and
underwear. If she had transported to Northland in her pyjamas then
she would surely be cold. In the sketch still lying on the bed she
was barefoot and wearing the pink pyjamas she wore in the
winter.

There was really only one place I could go
for help. It wasn’t the police or emergency services, it wasn’t my
family or friends, it wasn’t the church but it was in fact, a hole
in the ground in a forest three miles from my mum’s house. Look, I
know, saying it out loud or even writing it down it seems so
stupid, but remember when I said my heart just knew? Well it just
knew I had to go to see the little green eyed man.

I grabbed my car keys, checked the doors and windows
were locked, put cat food in the bowls, opened the front door and
whistled for Tessa. Yes, of course I brought the dog! Going for a
walk in the woods without her is just as waste!

We drove pretty fast through the town. Tessa
sat in the front seat. Ears perked up as she watched the traffic
and people go past in a blur as we sped up the mountain road
towards my mum’s. The drive was pretty heart racing. Most of it was
done at a steady 70mph, screaming in third gear the whole way.
Tessa recognised the road, she was dancing on the seat now, fur and
dog hair in the air like a smog, every time she moved. It was
winter, she sheds. We passed the turn off for mum’s house and
headed up towards to fields. Tessa stared at me and back out the
rear window, a look of puzzlement on her face. Usually when we went
to mum’s house she got treats and played fetch in the garden. When
she turned forward again and noticed the dirt and green of the
fields she knew all was not lost and began the on-the-spot dance
and circling the passenger seat excitedly, licking the window and
making that little excited sound only dogs can make.

I parked the car by the end of the road two wheels up
on the footpath and out of the way of the turning circle. I got out
and Tessa jumped over the centre console, out my door and on ahead,
under the steel gate and into the field. Within seconds she had
found a stick and lay in front of it ready for me to throw.

I locked the car, put the keys in my bag.
Jumping over the fence I felt a wave of nerves wash over me. I had
been running on adrenalin up until now. Something about large open
spaces cleared my mind. It usually relaxed me. So when the effects
took hold of me I was met with realisation. Realisation of the
situation, the gravity of it all. My wife, my best friend and
partner in life had gone missing. She had disappeared. Gone.
Vanished from our bed, and what was I doing? I was walking in a
field with the dog, looking for a little man, who up until today I
believed to be nothing but a dream. I was hoping this little man
with green eyes could transport me to an imaginary land that I
created in my head and on pages when I was fifteen. How crazy is
that! If I had told anyone I would have been committed! What is
wrong with me? I knew it had to be done, however weird or strange
it was.