That night, everyone was home and I got to cook one of my best recipes: lasagna. Cody tried to help, but he gave up shortly after I shooed away my brother, who kept stealing pieces of food. Keith sat on a chair, eyeing my work without saying a word. He hadn’t apologized and I hadn’t thanked him for the supplies, so we were even.
After we’d sat down to eat, Cody said, “So, baby, how was your class? You were worried about those pens.” I choked on a piece of lasagna and drank some water before answering.
“It went okay.” As I said it, Keith’s eyes shot up to meet mine. He almost looked sheepish. Was he worried that I would tell on him? Never in a million years did I want my brother and the boyfriend I’d never slept with knowing that I’d seen Keith naked. I warned him silently. If you tell on me, I’ll cut something precious of yours during the night.
“She didn’t give you hell because of that?” Cody was so sweet that I almost felt bad for lying.
“No, not really.”
After dinner, Ryan and Cody set the dirty dishes on the counter and went to the living room. I was getting used to this, but it still bothered me that they didn’t even ask if I needed help. With Keith, on the other hand, I would never be bothered if he disappeared. He, of course, stayed—not that he helped. He sat on the kitchen island, bouncing his legs and almost kicking me.
“So… you’re not going to tell Cody you saw his hot brother naked?”
I didn’t need to turn to know there was amusement in his eyes. He was having so much fun with this. “No, and neither will you.” I turned so he could see I wasn’t joking.
“Oh, I can imagine his face. You didn’t do what I told you, though,” he said.
“And what was that?” I rinsed the last plate and placed it on the counter, turning to face him.
He jumped to the floor to stand in front of me. “You didn’t stand up for yourself. She will never let you go if you don’t.”
“What should I do?” I asked, exasperated.
“If you tried not looking like a little girl and almost crying, it would help.” He followed me to the living room and I was afraid he would continue this conversation in front of his brother. “Let me check your sketches to see if I can help.”
I widened my eyes at him and nodded to the boys on the couch, but he just shrugged. “I’m an art student. Elizabeth loved my work. I can help you, you know?”
“He has a point, sis: his work’s amazing.” Ryan never paid much attention to what I said. Did he have to choose this moment to listen? Cody rolled his eyes, but never commented. What could I say? As clueless as the boys were, they would find it weird if I didn’t accept Keith’s help.
“Sure, why not?” I threw my arms in the air, defeated.
I stomped up the steps, took the key to my bedroom from my pocket, and opened the door.
“You know, as much as you hate me, I would never steal anything from you. You don’t really have to lock your bedroom, Sky.”
“It’s not you who worries me—it’s your friends. I caught a couple the other day having too much fun in my bed.”
He grabbed my arm and I let out a shriek. “Why didn’t you tell me, Sky? I would’ve taken care of the situation right away. Next time something like this happens, you come to me. Deal?”
I nodded incredulously. He would have laughed at me if he’d seen my reddening face when I’d thrown the half-naked couple out of my room.
I had left my drawings downstairs, so I had to leave him alone in my bedroom while I got them.
When I got back, Keith was sitting on my bed. Why he hadn’t sat at the desk was something I didn’t want to start with. He was staring at the photos on my chest of drawers.
There were at least ten, and a couple had Keith in them. Of course, they were from birthdays and other events at which he was required to pose next to his brother and mine. In one of them, he was actually looking at me, and that’s the one he was focusing on. He hadn’t looked annoyed or angry in that one, so I kind of liked that photo. It was as if the four of us were all friends.
“There: you can check my work and give me some pointers,” I shoved, not so gently, the folder into his lap.
“It doesn’t work like that, but okay, it’s a start.” He took an eternity on the boxes’ drawings, before he moved on to the sceneries. Finally, he looked at the ones I did today. I sat on the desk, scribbling notes in a book and pretending he wasn’t checking my most intimate work ever—of him, of all people.
“Okay, I already know what’s wrong.”
I jumped back at the sound of his voice. So, he thought something was wrong. If my ego had survived Professor Collins’s scrutiny, it would survive Keith’s.
“They lack… life.” Ouch.
“What? First of all, the only thing alive I drew in that class was you, and second, what the hell are you talking about? Look at that face.” I nodded at the first drawing of him.
His lopsided smile greeted me. Oh, here we go. “I already know what the effect of that face on people is. I’m talking about transferring the life to the paper. The essence of what you draw, you know? Representational Drawing is not only drawing what you see: you have to pour your feelings onto the paper. Add what you feel when you see the object of your work. For example, this orange—what did you feel when you were looking at it?”
I shrugged. I felt like I had to draw the skin with those characteristic dimples and get the color right. That was what I answered. He automatically shook his head at me.
“You’re doing it all wrong. You have to feel it. Pretend you are in a desert, you’re hungry and thirsty, and all you have is an orange—a sweet, juicy orange. Imagine that for a second.”
I actually tried. I did like oranges and the picture he was drawing in my head was coming to life better than the one on the paper. I understood what he was saying. I had to pretend we were in a cartoon, in which the orange was surrounded by light and even accompanied by cute music. I had to erase the excessive light and cute music, but I got what he was saying.
“There’s one drawing I think that you captured that… energy in: the first one of my face. You got the smile right, and even the light in my eyes. You just forgot everything else.” He nodded down his body, lightly teasing. “The one when you actually looked down, you forgot the face and even the body. You stopped getting the energy and just drew on auto-pilot. Am I right?”
“Kind of. You took me by surprise. I had never drawn anyone without clothes on, and in the first nude class, you walk in? What was I supposed to do?” I fidgeted with my shirt. He wasn’t making fun of me, really, but I got the feeling that it wasn’t that far off in his mind.
“You were thinking about what my brother would think, instead of focusing.” His smile faltered, like he was offended someone would think about anyone while in his presence.
The sad reality was that I hadn’t actually thought about Cody during class, just about that I was seeing his brother naked before him. If he found out, he would never forgive me.
“That’s not what—” I started, but he stopped me with a raised hand.
“That’s okay. I don’t need to know. You should practice, though: make him pose for you, or something.” He averted his eyes and studied the last drawing.
I snorted, “Yeah, right.” I didn’t want my sarcasm to be that evident, but I failed miserably.
“That would be the obvious choice, and you could practice expressing your feelings.” He rolled his eyes.
“No, not really: he wouldn’t know how to pose,” I gulped, nervous at the direction the conversation was taking.
“It’s not that difficult. You would be more comfortable with someone you already know.”
“Not like that,” I whispered it to myself, but he heard, anyway.
“What was that? What do you mean?” He let go of the drawing he was holding and turned to me. I looked at the door, considering if I should flee, when he placed his hand on my calf. I eyed his invading hand and tried to forge an explanation.
Keith must’ve felt my raising panic. “Are you telling me that you and my brother have never…” He was so amused that I almost slapped his hand away. Cody was going to kill me.
“It’s none of your business,” I mumbled, trying to focus on anything but his face. My eyes landed on the drawing of his naked body on my bed and I blushed for the first time since this morning.
“That’s so…” His lightened eyes embarrassed me even more, if that was possible. He got quiet and continued, “Strange. Is my brother gay?” He was amused, but he didn’t seem to be laughing at me, anymore. He was really considering if Cody was playing for the other team.
“Of course not.” I was outraged now. How could we have dated for four years if he was gay? “Please don’t tell him I told you—or at least that you figured it out. Please, Keith. This time, I’m asking for real.”
He seemed to think for what felt like a minute, before sighing and shaking his head with a small smile tugging on his lips. “I won’t, Sky, I promise. But I still can’t believe it. You have dated for four years, without…” He trailed off. “My brother is so stupid.” He was still shaking his head. “So, you’re still…” Not even he could finish the sentence. Yes, it was ridiculous, but not as much as not saying the word. Keith dancing around a word was not something I was used to. Maybe virgins scared him.
“I refuse to answer that. Like you said, Cody and I have dated for four years. Who else would I have been with? Now, let’s focus on my work. This has nothing to do with class.”
“Of course it does. I’m betting I’m the first guy you saw naked in your life—of course you would be embarrassed in class. You need to toughen up, or Professor Collins will make you pose on that table.”
My head shot up, horrified. “Never in a million years.”
“She did that to a girl last year. She didn’t make her pose, but incited that her drawings would benefit if she did so, just because the girl was red from head to toe whenever someone was posing—me included.”
“So you’ve done this since you took the class?”
“Yeah. It’s easy and good money. Besides, I enjoy making them squirm.”
“Of course you do.” I smiled. Maybe I wasn’t the only target of Keith’s need to piss everyone off.
“It would be good for you to relax. I’m serious.” He leaned on my bed and rested his head on the headboard.
“Can I ask you something? Will you tell me the truth?”
He shrugged. “It depends if I want to or not. Go ahead.”
Something has been playing in my head since my birthday and I haven’t talked to Keith long enough to ask him about it. “Friday night,” I started, and his arms tensed under his head. Yeah, that’s exactly what I was suspecting. “It was you.” It wasn’t a question, anymore.
He sat up again, not smiling this time. “Yeah, and before you get all mad at me, I was just preventing you from waking up with your dress carved into your back. I didn’t see anything.”
I wasn’t just thinking about the dress, but also about the covers over me, and the missing paper and jacket. For now, this was enough.
“Okay.”
“Okay? Aren’t you gonna yell and tell my brother?”
“I’m not going to tell your brother about that, just like I’m not telling him about this.” I nodded to the drawings. “He wouldn’t understand.” I shook my head.
“You give him too much credit. He’s not as perfect as you think. But fine, I’ll keep quiet if that’s what you want. You should really practice—maybe hire someone to pose for you.”
Yeah, like asking a complete stranger to come to my house and take his clothes off would be much easier.
“Or… I could do it.” His smug expression almost made me laugh. I already avoided clothed Keith—naked Keith, I’d run for my life. “I’m serious, Sky. It would be completely professional. You need to be comfortable with anyone and I’m going to warn you now that today won’t be my last day as a model.”
I groaned and let myself fall on the bed. I suspected as much. As I covered my eyes and groaned again, I felt Keith moving.
“I’ll pose for you if you pose for me,” he teased again.
“Ah, right. In your dreams, naked boy.”
He laughed at me, and, before getting up and leaving, said, “Think about it.”
Keith was kind of right—about him posing for me, not the other way around. If I could get used to drawing him, any other model would be easy. I couldn’t ask my brother or Cody for advice in this situation: it was something I needed to think through on my own. Keith could hold it over me for the rest of my life and even ruin my relationship with Cody.
Two days later, I was, once again, humiliated by the professor. She said my work of the woman on the table looked like a four year old’s drawing. This time, I asked her what she meant, and surprise swam in her eyes. Was this what Keith had suggested, or had I just failed this class? Professor Collins actually leaned forward and explained some wrong lines of the woman’s hip. She then walked to her table and stayed there for the rest of the class, never coming to check my final work.
I jumped on the couch as soon as I arrived home, yelling to the guys that I wouldn’t be cooking tonight.
“Sorry, baby, it’s just you and me.” On any other day, Keith’s fake Cody voice would annoy me. Today, however, I was so tired that I just grumbled.
Keith came to stand in front of me, chuckling, wiggling his eyebrows, and rubbing one hand on the other suggestively.