Pandora Gets Heart (4 page)

“Everyone up!” Eteocles was shouting the next morning. Pandy woke with a start. She’d been dreaming that Athena was offering her some ambrosia and nectar, saying, “Come on! Become immortal . . . you know you want to!” Suddenly waking up, surrounded by tall trees, she had no idea where she was. Alcie’s palm accidentally mashed down on Pandy’s wrist as Alcie lifted herself off the tarp.

“Ow!” Pandy said, and instantly she remembered that she was somewhere on Mount Pelion, looking for Lust.

“Sorry,” Alcie said, jumping down off the cart.

Once more, after a hasty first meal of creamed oats (“Where did he get oats?” Pandy had whispered to Iole. “I always keep a spare pouch handy,” Eteocles had called out), they were off again. Alcie stubbed her toe, then Iole twisted her ankle, then Pandy tripped getting the cart out of a hole and landed on her face; she was getting more and more frustrated. But they had only walked for a few hours when Eteocles brought the oxen to a halt.

“Very well,” Eteocles began.

“Is this where you drop us off and get that hour’s head start?” Pandy asked snidely.

Even Alcie looked at her.

“Touchy this morning, aren’t we?” Eteocles replied.

“We’ve walked for, basically, two days,” Pandy said, her anger rising. “We could have done that ourselves.”

“You wouldn’t have known where to go if you’d been by yourselves,” Eteocles answered, his voice calm.

“We’d have gotten here,” Alcie said.

“We actually helped you get this cart up the mountain. We don’t mind paying, but not for something unfair. You need to give back the bracelet,” Pandy said firmly.

Eteocles paused for a second, then threw back his head and laughed. Pandy saw a strange, thin pale line zigzag down his face. Then another. All at once, he began to grow. As he became larger and larger, his wrinkled brown skin began to crack, peel away, and drop to the ground, revealing taut, perfect white skin covering bulging muscles. The dirty toga was transformed into a clean, bright, silvery fabric, and the grayish hair became golden and curly, topped with a beautiful winged helmet.

“Down!” Pandy cried to the other three, who were staring, stupefied.

Instantly, all four were on their knees, heads bowed.

“Pears! Is that who I think it is?” Alcie whispered.

“Yes! Shhhh!” Pandy hissed back.

After a second of silence, she lifted her eyes.

“Okay, missy,” Hermes said with a grin, his arms folded across his massive chest, staring straight at her. “You are getting
spunky
!”

“I’m so sorry,” Pandy began.

“What’s with the ‘sorry’?” Hermes said. “I like it! All right . . . everybody up!”

Instantly, Pandy and the rest were on their feet.

“Eyes on me.”

Everyone looked straight at Hermes.

“Try not to look terrified,” Hermes said to the group as he walked toward Alcie.

“Hello, Alcestis,” he said softly, and then turned to the others. “Oh, I just realized . . . Pandora is the only one who’s actually met me. And yet I feel like I know all of you so well.”

“Mighty Hermes, swift and fleet footed,” Alcie began.

“Yes, Alcestis, thank you. I know,” Hermes said. “You’re doing very nice work.”

“Uh, thanks,” Alcie said.

“Homer,” Hermes said, approaching the youth. “Now, aren’t you glad you didn’t try to flatten me? It would have gotten out of hand . . . probably a little ugly. But you kept your cool and, hey, good times!”

“Uh . . .”

“I like you, Homer. We all do. Not the brightest lamp in the temple, but you have heart. And a noble soul.”

“Yes. Thank you. I think,” Homer said.

“Well, you try to and that’s what matters. Hello, Iole.”

“Wondrous Hermes . . .”

“Ach, can’t anyone just say ‘hello’?” Hermes rolled his eyes. “Okay, enough! Now, instructions first, questions afterward. I could be all godlike and get a little flowery but that would get us nowhere fast, and since you all need to get somewhere fast, I’ll put it to you straight. You’re going back in time. All of you. Many centuries. What you seek has traveled the river of ages— sorry, that was flowery. I’m going to get you there and bring you back, that’s if you’re all still alive. Here’s the rule: don’t change anything in the past or it will alter the future. Seriously. And it might not be good. Any questions?”

“Uh, yes,” Iole said, thinking fast, as the others just looked at one another, confused. “How far back are we going?”

“Roughly thirteen centuries. Next?”

“Lust is . . . is . . . back in time?” Pandy asked.

“Alcie, what’s the word you always say when somebody says something obvious? Starts with a delta, I think,” Hermes asked.

“Uh, ‘duh’?”

“That’s it! Duh!”

“Are you going to stay with us?” Pandy asked.

“Let me put it this way. I’ll be there, and I’ll know you’re you, but don’t look to me for help of any kind until and only if you’re ready to come back.”

“Oh!” gasped Iole suddenly.

Hermes stared at her for a second.

“You have it, don’t you?” he asked.

“Mount Pelion . . . thirteen hundred years ago,” she started.

“Give or take,” Hermes said casually.

“Oh! Oh! And they’re
all
going to be here?”

“What? Who!” Alcie cried, whacking Iole on her arm.

“Almost all,” said Hermes, smiling. “Someone’s missing. But then, you knew that, didn’t you?”

“Iole?” Pandy said, looking at her quizzically.

“Enough gab,” Hermes said. “Time’s a’wasting, and how. Everybody grab a little piece of my toga—don’t get fresh—and we’ll be off.”

Pandy, Alcie, Iole, and Homer each pinched a small amount of the silver fabric and instinctively braced themselves for a whirlwind journey back through time. Alcie and Iole hunched over as if preparing to face a horrible hurricane. Pandy clutched her pouch to her chest and planted her feet firmly on the ground. Homer grabbed his cloak with his free hand and closed his eyes, head down.

“Alcie, Iole . . . what are you doing?” Hermes asked.

“We’re hanging on. Won’t there be wind . . . or something?” Alcie yelled.

Pandy, looking at her toes, saw a small shift, a subtle repositioning of the stones on the ground around her feet. She noticed that the birds that had been singing were silenced, and a small white boulder had materialized on a patch of grass off to her left . . . and then nothing.

“You four are crazy!” Hermes laughed. “You look like you’re about to be attacked! It’s done. We’re there.”

“That’s it?” Pandy asked, looking around.

“That’s it,” Hermes said.

“I just thought there would be . . . wind,” Alcie said, standing up straight.

“You’re . . . ,” Pandy began.

“I’m what? Fabulous?” Hermes asked.

“No. I mean, yes! But you’re
helping
.” Pandy’s voice dropped to a whisper on the last word.

“I did, and I might again,” Hermes said. “Now don’t blow it by asking a lot of questions.”

The forest surrounding them was essentially the same. Some trees were taller, some were smaller, and some were new. There was a different cloud formation in the sky, but there was no other marked visible difference.

“I’m off,” Hermes said, then pointed east. “Your way lies down that road. Remember, change nothing.”

He stepped back and Pandy thought he was about to disappear when he stopped and turned to Iole.

“You’re kidding, right?”

Iole’s mouth fell open and then she looked down at the ground.

“I’m sorry.”

“At a time like this,
that’s
what you’re thinking about?” Hermes asked. I would have expected that of Alcie, not you.”

“Huh?” Alcie said.

“I’m sorry,” Iole said again.

“A deal is a deal, Iole. It doesn’t matter that I probably can’t use it. So, no, you can’t have the bracelet back.”

Iole nodded.

Hermes shook his head and disappeared in a bright white flash.

“Nice going, Miss I-Can-Give-Away-My-Presents,” Alcie said after a pause. “Now he hates us!”

“No he doesn’t, Alcie. Quit it,” Pandy said. “Iole, what in Zeus’s name is going on? What do you know?”

“Did either of you
ever
pay attention when Master Epeus was teaching ancient Greek history?
Ever?
Thirteen hundred years ago, Zeus was in love with the goddess Thetis. Hera found out about it and got so angry that not only did she force Zeus to stop seeing Thetis, she made Zeus give Thetis to a mortal man as his wife.”

“Oh, yeah! I was awake for this,” Pandy cried. “King Peleus! Whose palace is . . . was . . . is on Mount Pelion!”

“Correct!” Iole continued. “It was a huge celebration to which all the gods and goddesses were invited.”

“Except one,” Pandy said.

“Correct again. And if my guess is right, today is the big—”

“Do you think you have been hired to simply stand
around!”

A shrill voice, like the sound of a horn, high and off-key, pierced the quiet of the forest. Pandy, Alcie, Iole, and Homer whipped their heads around.

Then their jaws dropped.

CHAPTER FIVE
On Staff

“As if I don’t have enough to worry about!”

The shortest, roundest woman Pandy had ever seen was ambling toward them. Pandy assumed she was moving by herself, although she couldn’t see the woman’s feet. Her girth was easily that of a large chariot, and the top of her head, Pandy calculated, came only to the top of Pandy’s shoulder. Her silvery hair, however— swept up, fastened and held in place with myriad combs and pins—towered easily another meter above that. Her lips and eyelids were painted a pale green, and she was wearing a long leaf-colored gown, covered by a dark green robe. She was breathing hard and sweating profusely.

“Gods,” Alcie said. “It’s a walking squash.”

“The Messenger God himself had to come and tell me that I had four slackers out on the road, taking their own precious time! The other servants I ordered managed to arrive early and got straight to work. But lucky me, I had to get a few troublemakers, didn’t I? Today of all days! Certainly you have been told of the importance of this occasion? That everything must go off perfectly, with precision and flair? Consummate celebrations! That is what Events by Echidna is known for, and I will not have four temporary servants ruin my reputation. I warn all of you now,” she said, glaring at them, “Midas’s Golden Touch Temp Agency will hear from me if any of you so much as looks in the wrong direction, and I will personally see to it that you are shipped off to Troy to rebuild the citadel brick by brick. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes,” Pandy said immediately.

“To
everyone
?” she barked.

“Yes!” said Alcie, Iole, and Homer.

“Good!”

The woman, Echidna, slowly waddled around the group, gazing up and down.

“Where are your serving togas?”

“Um . . . we only have what we’re wearing,” Pandy said, thinking fast.

“What?”
she gasped.

“We had to walk the last several kilometers. It’s been very dusty,” Iole chimed in.

“Where are your armbands? Your serving armbands? The ones that say ‘Need something? Just ask!’ Where are they?”

“We lost them,” Alcie said.

Echidna began to turn red.

“This is the last time I use Midas, I can promise you,” she sputtered. “Very well, follow me. Fortunately I always come prepared for any situation. Hurry!”

Pandy and the rest leapt forward to follow, but Echidna moved so slowly that they could all remain several steps behind and walk at an easy pace.

“What are we doing?” Alcie asked Pandy quietly.

“First of all,” Pandy whispered back, “she said that Hermes told her we were here. I’m guessing that means we’re supposed to go with her. Second, what better way to get into this event? See what’s going on for ourselves. We don’t have invitations. Hermes wouldn’t have brought us back in time to this location unless Lust was somewhere close by. He said so himself. This is perfect!”

“So we simply have to ascertain someone or something that is consumed with a burning, insatiable, voracious, and unquenchable desire for someone or something else,” Iole said softly. “Correct?”

“Did all those words mean the same thing?” Alcie asked.

“Somebody wants something really badly,” Iole replied, rolling her eyes.

“Can I pinch her, Pandy?” Alcie asked, seeing the look. “Can I pinch that big brain right out of her head!”

“Stop it, Alce, and yes, that’s what we’re looking for,” Pandy whispered. “I’m certain that’s why we’re at this particular event.”

“What, exactly, is this event that you two know about?” Alcie asked. Unfortunately, she asked it just a little too loudly, and Echidna whirled around.

“What is this event!”

“Oooops,” mumbled Alcie.

“It is one of the final, yet most important, stages of the wedding of King Peleus to Silver-Footed Thetis, which is only the premiere social event of the season, you silly girl!” Echidna was on the march again, speaking to the others (and herself) as if she were rattling off a checklist. “The bride has made her procession from her family home to the home of her husband, then came the wedding feast this afternoon— a little backward, I know, but I like to shake things up a bit when catering to the needs of my clients. Now all we have left is the formal unveiling! And, since it’s going to be in the main hall, I needed more staff, which is where you slackers come in. Pass a few trays, off comes the bridal veil, collect my fee, then I’m giving my feet a nice long soak. All right . . .”

Echidna stopped at a fork in the path. Two tall, impossibly thin women approached from the path to the right.

“Hypatia, take this youth and give him a fresh toga and rustle up an armband. He’s rather thick; you might have to sew two together. He’ll work the wine bar. Ireneus, get this dark-haired one cleaned up and give her to Thetis. Apollo’s big toe, that goddess needs all the help she can get. And Ireneus, when you’re done, bring two fresh serving togas down to the cave. You . . .”

Echidna turned to Iole.

“You will help the bride with what ever she needs. You will help her attendants, you will not speak to anyone, and you will stay out of the way. Understood?”

“Absolutely,” said Iole.

“Both of you, this way,” Hypatia said as she and Ireneus led Homer and Iole off.

“You two come with me,” Echidna said, motioning for Pandy and Alcie to follow. After several minutes of walking very slowly, Alcie couldn’t help herself—she started silently mimicking Echidna’s walk, then she would lie down on the path and pretend to sleep, then wake with a start and rush to catch up, or lean against a tree, fall asleep, then rush to catch up, or pretend to run in place. Pandy started laughing so hard she had to hit Alcie to make her quit. It was only fifty or so meters from the fork in the path, but it was easily ten minutes before Echidna finally rounded a large tree trunk and stopped.

“Whoa!” said Pandy.

“Oranges!”

Across a small clearing was the entrance to an enormous black cave.

Many servants were rushing to and fro, like oversized ants, carrying trays, bowls, large stirring spoons, huge ladles, and so forth. Everyone’s hair was tied tightly back away from his or her face, which was flushed and glowing with nervous tension and heat from several enormous cooking cauldrons. From inside the cave could be heard much shouting, orders being called out and answered. Suddenly, there was a scream, followed by the loud clang of something falling over, and a big puff of smoke filled the opening.

A wild-looking black-haired youth shot out of the cave and headed toward Echidna, furiously waving his hands. He was wearing an officious-looking white silk headband.

“I cannot work with him in there, Echidna!” he screeched. “I cannot bring out the very essence of my culinary creations if he’s going to be pawing through everything! We’re in a cave . . . a
cave
! And he’s literally trampling on my genius!”

“Myron . . . Myron, calm down,” Echidna said, using a low, even voice for the first time. “It is his home, after all.”

At that moment, scattering servants in all directions, a colossal centaur raced through the cave opening, a giant skewer of meat in one hand. Turning quickly on his hind legs, he threw the roast on its red-hot metal spit back into the crowd of workers, sending them flying.

“Oh!” Pandy nudged Alcie. “This . . . this is fantastic! Alcie, do you know who that is?”

“You deal with him, Echidna,” Myron said, tears forming in his eyes as he walked off into the woods. “I am simply too spent. And my heart is just broken.”

Echidna sighed heavily.

“Excuse me,” she said, cautiously crossing to the centaur, now pacing back and forth before the cave opening. “Excuse me, Master Chiron?”

“Figs,” said Alcie quietly.

“You know it,” Pandy agreed. Even Pandy had stayed awake when Master Epeus had talked about Chiron, without question the most famous and important centaur in Greek history. Whereas other of these half man– half horse beings were infamous for their savagery, Chiron was known for his wisdom and kindness. He was so learned that many noble and wealthy families sent their sons to be raised by this marvelous creature, his most famous pupil being Hercules.

“They’re making a mess!” The centaur galloped to her, the veins in his lower body pulsing through his black horse hair. “I have tried to be patient. But they’re using my private food stores, my private utensils. They’ve even disrupted my library! I was told my private things would be left alone!”

“I know, and you’re right. I will put a stop to that nonsense immediately. But we both know how important this day is. And there is truly no space in the palace,” Echidna said, beginning to purr. “So if you would just be a little indulgent, I promise you we will leave everything just as we found it. You will never know we were even here!”

Chiron ran his hands through his bushy black hair and pawed at the ground.

“The things I do for my king,” he snorted. “And I wasn’t even invited!”

“I’ll work on that,” Echidna answered quickly. “I’ll see what I can do . . . maybe a nice spot on an upper balcony somewhere?”

Chiron looked at her like she was a little bug. Then he slowly moved off to a large, flat rock and settled down, staring out at the forest.

“Myron!” Echidna called. “Myron, it’s fine now. Come back.”

“You cannot tell me, Echidna,” he said, flouncing back, hands on his hips, “that in that lovely, massive palace there isn’t just one corner for me? I have never been forced to work culinary miracles in a cave!”

“Myron, we have already been over this,” Echidna said calmly. “The rooms are all being used, every one of them. The bride’s family alone is using every last sleeping pallet, and they’re sleeping five to a room, Myron. Naturally, the gifts had to go somewhere out of sight, and the only space left was the food preparation room. It will all be over tomorrow. Be a love and say you understand?”

Myron closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

“I cannot
tolerate
much more of this, Echidna,” he choked out dramatically. His eyes were moist as he slowly backed away, beating lightly on his chest, as if his burden was almost too much to bear. “I am an artist . . . an
artist
!”

“Yes, Myron. But dear, it’s day two. No more big feasts, just nibblies to keep the immortals happy during the unveiling of the bride! You don’t have to put so much stress on yourself.”

“Stress is my life!” Myron said, throwing his arms in the air as he walked back into the cave.

“Aphrodite’s toenails . . . let me make it through this. All right, you two.” Echidna turned to Pandy and Alcie. “Start putting canapés on serving trays. When Ireneus brings your fresh togas and armbands, put them on. You can stow your clothing and accoutrements here at the staging area. The guests will start arriving in twenty minutes by my calculation of the sundial, and I want the two of you at the palace, trays in hand and ready. Understood?”

“Yes,” Pandy said.

“Got it,” said Alcie.

Echidna moved off, and Pandy heard her muttering something about a vacation in Syria.

Pandy was walking toward the cave opening when she realized that Alcie wasn’t beside her. Looking back, she saw Alcie walking slowly toward Chiron, now dozing peacefully.

“Master Chiron?” Alcie said softly.

“Hmmph?” the centaur woke with a start.

“I have to tell you that you are, without question, one of my favorite historical figures. I actually paid attention in class when Master Epeus talked about you. I just wanna ask . . . how cool was it to work with some of those heroes of the Trojan War? I mean, one of the greatest was—”

“The what?” Chiron asked.

“The Troj—”

Pandy grabbed Alcie by her arm and jerked her away.

“I’m sorry, sir,” Pandy said. “She gets a little insane when she hasn’t eaten. Sorry to bother you.”

“What?”
said Alcie as Pandy pushed her toward the cave.

“The Troj—the TW obviously hasn’t
happened
yet, you doofball!”

“Uh-oh.”

“Yeah! Nice going. You probably just changed history, and now we won’t be born!”