Papa Bear (Finding Fatherhood Book 1) (6 page)

She laughed in spite of herself as she imagined herself in the role of government assassin, or even prostitute. She shook her head. “It’s nothing like that, though the drug addict thing is kind of close. When I was nineteen, I was arrested with twenty kilos of cocaine in my car.” To his credit, he stiffened, but didn’t speak, and his grasp on her didn’t loosen. She drew a little courage from that and continued. “I’d like to say I wasn’t guilty, but I was.”

He shook his head. “I can’t imagine you as a drug runner. There had to be extenuating circumstances. Did a boyfriend get you involved?”

She let out a sharp laugh. “In a way. It was my mother’s boyfriend, Javier Calderon, and he made it clear that if I didn’t join his
company
, I wouldn’t have the chance to refuse. My mother thought it was a great idea, because I didn’t have a criminal record, so they’d go easy on me if I was caught. I spent seven months ferrying drugs for them, all the while hoping for a way to escape. My luck ran out, but in a strange way, getting arrested is what saved me.”

He took her hand with the arm not wrapped around her already. “What happened?”

“Javier offered me an expensive attorney, but I chose to go with a public defender instead. I wanted a clean break from him and my mother. I figured a lengthy prison sentence was as good an escape as any, so I didn’t really help in my defense. Fortunately, I lucked out and ended up with a good attorney. He was overworked, but he still cared about people, and he fought for me when I wasn’t willing to do so.

“I got eighteen months in prison, and three years of probation. Part of the terms of my probation were I couldn’t have anything to do with criminals, which was a relief. I did my time, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d thought it would be. Honestly, after growing up with my mother and her series of boyfriends, it was downright pleasant to know I was going to have the same routine every day, see the same faces, and not be forced to break the law on a continuous basis.”

He seemed slightly amused by that. “I’ve never heard prison described as a pleasant experience.”

She shrugged. “They must not have had my childhood then.” The sympathy in his expression almost brought a new round of tears, but she blinked them away. “When I got out, my parole officer helped me get established and stable, and during my time in prison, my mother had broken up with Javier, so at least I didn’t have to deal with the cartel any longer. She tried to see me once, and I wouldn’t have anything to do with her. Shortly thereafter, she was arrested for running drugs too, and I haven’t seen her since. She’s still in prison, though I did receive notice that she’s up for parole again. I doubt she’ll get it, and I certainly wasn’t going to show up as a character witness at her hearing as she requested.”

He seemed confused. “Are you telling me the reason you’ve pulled back from me is simply because you have a criminal record and an ugly family history?”

She let out a small sigh of exasperation. “There’s nothing simple about it. You’re in law enforcement, and I’m a criminal. My entire family is littered with criminals. It wouldn’t be good for you to be associated with me.”

He scoffed. “I don’t think promotions or career success are going to hinge on whether or not your great-grandfather was a bank robber.”

Her eyes widened. “How did you know that?” At his startled expression, she couldn’t help a giggle. “I’m just kidding. My great-grandfather didn’t rob banks. He just moved moonshine.”

He waved a hand. “You know what I mean. You aren’t responsible for your family’s actions, and you’re clearly different than you were in the past. It doesn’t sound like you were ever voluntarily running drugs anyway. Why would you think I’d care about that?”

“You’re obviously an upstanding citizen, and I figured with your career, you’d find my past reprehensible. At one point, I was optimistic that it wouldn’t matter too much.”

His expression darkened. “It doesn’t matter at all, but what changed to temper your optimism?”

“Marla Vickers. I realized the day I met her that my past would keep you from being able to adopt Angel, and I couldn’t allow that to happen. I can’t allow that to happen. As much as I want to be with you, I can’t. It could cost you your daughter.”

His lips tightened. “I don’t think it’s going to matter. It’s been how long since you’ve been out of prison?”

“Eight years, and I haven’t been on probation for five, but I’m telling you she’ll ensure it matters.”

He looked confused. “Why would she?”

She rolled her eyes. “She’s clearly attracted to you, and she didn’t like that you had a girlfriend. For an observant law-enforcement official, you’re kind of clueless when it comes to the dynamics of women.”

He chuckled. “I’m willing to concede that point. I won’t concede the point that you’re my mate though. We’ll fight together, and I have no doubt we’ll both be able to adopt Angel. What happened was in the past, and even if Marla turned it into some sort of vendetta, there are people above her. We’re both stable, and I have enough money to hire the best attorney if it comes to that. We aren’t going to lose her, and Angel and I refuse to lose you.”

She knew she should keep resisting, but her ability to do so had waned and was now totally gone. She couldn’t keep fighting the things she wanted most, so she rested her head against him. “Okay, but if it seems like it’s going badly, you have to promise to let me leave without trying to stop me. I can’t let you lose Angel.”

He growled, and it rumbled in his chest. “I’m not making that promise, because I’ll fight for my family, and I expect you to do the same. You’re my mate, and we aren’t going to let bureaucracy tear us apart.”

She frowned at his odd choice of words, used for the second time in as many minutes. “What is this mate thing? It’s so archaic.”

He stiffened for a moment, and then slowly eased away from her. “You told me your secret, and now I have one of my own to share with you. I’m a bear-shifter.”

She blinked. “What?”

With calm precision, he stood up and shed his clothes, folding them neatly on the trail. Even in light of what he’d just said, it was difficult to focus on anything but his stunning physique for a moment, and she absorbed the sight greedily. He was perfectly formed and large everywhere, with bulging muscles and a trim stomach. If he hadn’t been so large, he would’ve looked like an exaggerated bodybuilder on steroids, but it all suited his frame, and he was perfect enough to make her mouth water.

A moment later, the human physique melted before transforming into a bear with honey-blonde fur and eyes exactly like Lucas’s. The bear approached her, moving slowly as though not to frighten her. She held out a hand as it grew closer, brushing her fingers down his muzzle. “You’re beautiful as a bear, but I think I prefer your human form.”

A moment later, he transformed back, standing over her with a puzzled expression. “You took that far better than I expected.”

“You’re not the first shifter I’ve seen. A long time ago, my mother dated a weasel-shifter, which was incredibly appropriate both for her and that guy. They used to rob banks together, and he’d shift into his weasel form to slip inside before closing, and I guess it worked well for them. They made a lot of money together, and neither one of them ever got caught, but I’m not sure what happened to the relationship. It doesn’t matter any longer. Suffice it to say, they broke up, and the only reason he left an impression at all is because he could change his form. I’ve never told anyone else that, because it sounds absolutely insane, but it’s the truth.”

He walked over to shrug on his clothes. “Obviously I believe you. It’s just a different evolutionary path. Shifters split from
Homo sapiens
at some point, and then we split again into various subspecies.”

She nodded. “I figured it might be something like that. When I was a child, Hector tried to convince me it was all magic. I think because he wanted to scare me into keeping the secret. As an adult, when I thought about it—and I tried to do that as little as possible, because it’s so insane—I realized it couldn’t possibly have been any sort of magic, or they wouldn’t have had to rob the banks the old-fashioned way. I knew it had to be something scientific, though I sort of thought maybe it was a government experiment gone wrong or something.”

“You aren’t afraid of my bear, are you?”

She shook her head. “Not even a little bit. It’s kind of cool and explains why you have such a big build.”

“Do you have any questions?”

She tilted her head, figuring she should have at least a million questions after his revelation, but was taking it all in stride. She remembered what she’d asked him before though. “What is the mate thing? My mother and Hector never got anywhere near that point.”

“It’s like being married, only more permanent. If you accept my mate claim, I’ll bite you to mark you with my pheromones. I’ll do that periodically, and it protects you from other shifters who might try to claim you. I know it sounds kind of old-fashioned, but it’s how things are done.”

She nodded. “I don’t mind old-fashioned sometimes. I am a little concerned about being bitten. You’re talking about right in the middle of sex, right?”

“Making love,” he corrected with a hint of ire, as though her words had offended him. “But, yes, during lovemaking, I’ll bite you.”

She bit her lip. “You won’t be inside me, will you? I mean, your bear is cute and all, but …” She shuddered, allowing her body to show her disquiet at the idea.

His expression reflected dawning comprehension, and he shook his head rapidly. “I’ll only be in my human form with you. I would never do that to you. I can bite you as a bear or a man, and either way I’ll impart my pheromones. With my human teeth, I’ve heard it’s pretty pleasurable for a mate, I doubt it would be so pleasurable if you had a bear biting you on the shoulder.”

Relief swept through her, and she nodded. “I can’t imagine it would be all that pleasant. Certainly nothing like eighteen months in prison.” She winked at him as she added the words. It amazed her she could actually joke about that time in her life, at least with him.

He laughed along with her before striding over to lift her to her feet and into his arms. He kissed her deeply before setting her on her feet. “When you’re ready, I’ll claim you as my mate, but we can certainly make love before then without the final step, if you’re willing.”

She nodded eagerly. “I’m more than willing.”

With clear determination, he strode to the car seat and lifted it in one hand before anchoring his other hand around hers and pulling her at a brisk pace down the trail and back to the cabin.

They were both ready and willing, but by the time they arrived back at the cabin, Angel was awake, and it was clearly one of her periods where she was going to be awake for a while. She was moved by his tenderness with Angel, and he never seemed exasperated by having to put his own needs on hold to tend to hers. She was achy and frustrated herself, wanting him right then now that she had made the decision to move forward, but she also appreciated the baby came first. It was no hardship to cuddle with her little family on the couch as they waited for Angel to fall asleep so they could consummate their relationship.

Angel fell asleep again a little after nine, and though neither of them were tired, they decided to go to bed too. As she prepared herself in the bathroom, slipping on the sexiest sleepwear she’d brought along—a simple black nightgown with spaghetti straps—she couldn’t quell the nerves in her stomach. She ran the brush through her black hair, meeting her eyes in the mirror. They gleamed with excitement, and hint of apprehension. She felt disconcertingly like a virgin. It was her first time with a bear shifter, so maybe she was a virgin in a way.

She giggled at the silly thought, finding it relieved some of her tension, and set down the brush before leaving the bathroom. She took one last deep breath before crossing the threshold and stepping into his bedroom.

He was already on the bed, the sheet tucked to his waist, and his chest bared. Her mouth watered at the sight of all his tempting tanned skin displayed to her, and she was almost dizzy with the realization she didn’t have to hold back, and that she could touch him as much as she wanted. In her haste to reach the bed, she nearly stumbled, but quickly righted herself and hoped she hadn’t looked too graceless as she attempted to get into bed with all the regality of a queen.

That lasted for all of a second, because as soon as she laid down beside him, he rolled over and covered her body with his, though his weight didn’t press down on her excessively. His mouth claimed hers in a hungry kiss, and she ran her fingers through his hair as she molded her lips to his, responding eagerly.

His hair was short and slightly bristly against her fingers, but she liked the scrubby feeling. It was soothing somehow, though the last thing she wanted to do was be soothed and relaxed at the moment. She wanted her nerves strung taunt as a bow as she anticipated the next move of his mouth and hands. She wanted to savor every moment and be taken by surprise.

When he lifted his head, he was breathing harshly, the same as she was. “You taste delicious.”

She grinned at the compliment. “So do you. I can’t get enough.”

“In that case…” He lowered his head and kissed her again, with even more desperation and hunger. She’d never climaxed from a kiss before, but she wouldn’t have been surprised if he could induce such an occurrence just with his lips on hers.

Eventually, their mouths broke apart, and she let her hands wander freely over his firm muscles and warm skin. He was taut and toned everywhere, and she luxuriated in the experience of allowing her fingers to map the geography of his body. She slid her hand down his abdomen, moving lower until she cupped his cock between her curled fingers. He was thick and sturdy there too, and large enough to be slightly intimidating. It would be a test to accept all of him, but she was looking forward to meeting that challenge.

As she continued stroking him, his hand went between her thighs, his knuckles brushing her outer lips before his fingers slipped deftly inside. Her clit swelled to meet his questing fingers, eagerly seeking his attention. It was certainly not the first time a man’s fingers had been inside her, but something about Lucas made it feel new and exciting. She was slippery with need when his fingers moved down her slit, pressing lightly against her opening. He penetrated her slowly with two fingers, easing in and out as he drew out the delicious torture. She would have felt at a disadvantage if she hadn’t had him in a similar position, his breathing ragged each time she stroked her palm up and down the ridge of his cock.

Abruptly, he pulled away from her, and she wasn’t certain if it was because she’d brought him too close to the edge, or because he was shifting positions. A moment later, he was between her legs, with his head positioned near the apex of her thighs. He didn’t dip his head immediately. First, he took in a deep breath, and a growl rumbled low in his throat that reverberated where her legs touched his chest. “Mine,” he said in that same growling tone.

She could see the wildness coming through in him, and she knew this was as close as the bear got to the surface when he was in human form. His ferocious hunger fed her own, and she almost climaxed just from the first touch of his lips against her slick heat. He buried his face against her, licking as though he couldn’t get enough and making her writhe and cry out under the passionate onslaught. It was amazing, but almost too much. It was too much pleasure, and she couldn’t think straight. All she could do was feel, and she surrendered herself to the emotions and sensations swirling through her.

Her sheath contracted, and convulsions swept through her, initiating the first wave of orgasm. As she was coming, his mouth moved away from her, and then she gasped a moment later when his teeth sank into her thigh. It didn’t hurt. On the contrary, it felt amazing, and it heightened her release, along with prolonging the climax.

She was still trembling from the aftereffects when Lucas switched positions again, lying on his back beside her before lifting her easily into his arms and setting her on his lap. He aligned his cock with her still-clenching pussy and surged inside. Letting out an animalistic grunt of satisfaction, he buried himself to the hilt, and she clung to him. Taking him hadn’t been the challenge she had anticipated, mainly because she was still so turned on, and the climax had only whetted her appetite for him despite its intensity.

His cell phone rang, and she glared at it. He didn’t even glance in its direction, clearly having no intention of separating from her at the moment. It was surprisingly easy to tune out the annoying chirp of the phone as she lost herself in the rhythm of his body. His hands on her hips guided her and kept her locked against him, but she had enough range of movement to match each thrust as his pace increased.

He was clearly close to losing control, and so was she. She placed her hands over his on her hips as she rode him, locking gazes with her mate. It was an old-fashioned word, but it was perfect to describe what they had. She wasn’t certain if it was the bite, the sex, or her own imagination, but she felt closer to him than ever, and there was an almost-sacred element to their fusing together.

As his shaft twitched inside her, heralding his release that triggered her own, she could feel the bond cementing and deepening between them. It felt more meaningful than if they had exchanged “I do”s in a church full of friends and family. She belonged to him, and he belonged to her. The thought increased her pleasure, and the intensity of her orgasm only amplified.

Afterward, they remained together, still joined, as they both gradually slowed and steadied their breathing. She realized they hadn’t spoken much at all, but it hadn’t mattered. Their bodies, their eyes, and their hearts had said everything their lips couldn’t seem to form syllables to do, and better than mere words could.

They might have laid like that all night if his cell phone hadn’t buzzed again. He groaned, and she smiled. “You should probably answer that, or they’re going to keep bothering us every few minutes.”

“Someone had better be dying,” he said in a gruff tone as he pulled away from her just enough to roll over and reach his cell phone before returning. Their lower bodies were no longer fused, but he still held her tightly against him with his free arm wrapped around her waist as he looked at his phone before pressing a button and bringing it to his ear. She snuggled closer and listened to his side of the conversation.

By the time he’d hung up a couple of moments later, she had gleaned from the conversation and the change in his body language that he had good news. She tipped her head and rested her chin on his chest as she waited for him to share it.

He grinned at her. “That was Tim. They’ve arrested Deacon Hunt. We can go back to the city, and we’ll be safe. That scumbag is behind bars, and he won’t get out.”

“That’s fantastic news.” A wave of relief swept over her, followed by a surge of fear. What would happen if they went back to their regular lives, and he discovered he’d been wrong in thinking she was his mate? What if he wasn’t able to make the adoption work, despite his confidence? She had no answers for those questions, and she tried to dismiss them from her mind. It was a beautiful night, and she didn’t want to allow her dark doubts and uncertainty to tarnish it. “Are we leaving right now?”

He shook his head, looking startled by the idea. “No, not unless you want to?”

She shook her head. “I’m not inclined to move at the moment, since we have this lovely bed at our disposal, and a sleeping baby. We should take advantage of the opportunity.”

He arched a brow, looking intrigued. “What did you have in mind?”

She shifted positions, pushing him onto his back and straddling his thighs as she brought her lips to his chest. She brushed them lightly against his skin before lifting her head. “I have all sorts of ideas.” She interspersed each word with a kiss that went lower, until she reached her destination a moment later.

Her bear-shifter purred with satisfaction, and she grinned as she took him into her mouth. Tomorrow would be soon enough to return to reality, but they should enjoy the night they had and focus solely on each other, except when Angel needed attention. It was a sound plan, and she was fully behind the idea as she engulfed his thick erection with her wet mouth.

***

They had spent longer at the cabin than anticipated, so they didn’t arrive back in San Diego until after dark the next day. Despite his long night without much sleep, Lucas was refreshed and cheerful when he pulled into his driveway. He was optimistic about the future, and he was certain his mate was with him finally and forever. The bear inside him was also content, purring softly at the thought of Libby belonging to them.

With
them, he quickly corrected himself. He was certain his mate wouldn’t allow chauvinistic tendencies, and she wouldn’t have appreciated being labeled as his without reciprocity. He was whistling as he got out of the car, moving to the passenger door behind the driver side so he could remove the car seat and the sleeping baby inside.

He never heard the shot, but he felt the bullet as it slammed into his back and knocked him against the car. He couldn’t breathe, and his spine and his chest burned with fire unlike anything he’d ever known. He tried to take a deep breath, and blood bubbled through his lips. Whoever had shot him had known what they were doing. They’d hit a critical area, and he was grievously injured.

Libby’s screams reached his ears, and he struggled to get to his feet, but collapsed to the cement again. A heavy booted foot kicked him in the shoulder as it moved past, opening the car door and siding inside his vehicle. The engine roared to life a moment later, and Libby pounded on the door on her side, having exited the car, likely to check on him.

The driver had a gun, and he pointed it at Libby. “Back off,” he shouted at her.

She ignored his demands, continuing to pound on the glass and pull at the handle. Lucas was certain the man wouldn’t hesitate to kill her, so he summoned as much strength as he could and called her name in a raspy voice. “Libby, back off. He’ll kill you.”

He could see her shoulders slump, and the signs of defeat made his eyes sting with tears as she stepped back, holding out a hand in a pleading fashion as the thug who’d stolen the car backed down the driveway and peeled out. She rushed to his side, and her fear was evident. She was panicked. “He took our baby.”

“We’re going to get her back.” It was a risk, but he had to take it. The only way he could heal quickly enough to keep himself from bleeding out was to transform to his bear form. The bullet would pop out, and he would heal in the process of rearranging his molecules. He hoped it was dark enough to hide his actions from the neighbors surrounding him, and he took a deep breath as he steeled himself for the pain. Shifting was normally painless, but when injured, it could be brutal agony.

He let out a low roar through gritted teeth a moment later as the pain he’d expected swept through him. As he shifted, the bullet moved through his body, exiting out his back, from where it had entered. The trail it had left burned like fire, but the pain was lessening. By the time he’d shifted back to his human form, he was mostly healed. It might require one or two more shifts to completely heal him, due to the seriousness of the wound. If he’d been fully human, he’d be dead by now.

As soon as he was back, his tattered clothes around him, she buried her face in his chest and sobbed as she clutched the remnants of his shirt, seeming to want to drag him closer to her. “Why would they take Angel? How are we going to find her?”

He stood up, taking her with him as he got to his feet and setting her on hers. “I’m going to track the bastard. I’ll have to do it in bear form, because my senses are the most sensitive then.”

Her eyes widened with horror. “You’re going to traipse through San Diego in your bear form? If someone sees you, you could be shot.”

He nodded. “I could, but chances are I’ll be able to heal myself if that happens.”

She bit her lip. “If you shift in front of someone, then they’ll know about
ursa sapiens
. I thought that was a big secret?”

He sighed. “Of course it’s a big secret, but nothing is as important as getting back Angel. It doesn’t matter what the risks are, because we have to take them.”

After a moment, she nodded. “You’re right. I know you are, but I don’t want to lose you after losing her too.”

He pulled her against him, holding her tightly for a moment. “You’re not going to lose me, and we haven’t lost Angel. We’re going to find our daughter. I’m going to switch into my bear form, and I need you to attach my cell phone to my fur. Don’t worry about hurting me, because I have tough hide.” He pulled away from her reluctantly as he went into the house, his fingers twined through hers so he pulled her behind him. “I have a tracking device, and I can use it to home in on my cell phone. I want you to use it as you follow me in your car.”