Paranoia (The Night Walkers) (5 page)

five

I sat up straight, like someone had replaced my spine with a metal post. I’d thought Darkness was responsible for all the madness of the night before. Since he was so free today, it made sense, but maybe he wasn’t … “Think a Taker might’ve taken me over last night?” I asked.

Jack smiled for the first time I could remember. I was so surprised, it put me even further on edge. “Not possible.”

“Why not?” I gestured in the general direction of the jail. “Isn’t this the exact kind of thing you said Takers could do?”

“Yes, and a Taker could be partly at fault … but this has to do with your own inner demons.” Jack scratched his chin and took a long drink of his Coke. “It’s impossible for a Taker to take over a Watcher. Just doesn’t happen.”

“Fine … ” I nodded, extremely uncomfortable with his choice of the words
inner demons
, especially because today Darkness had been much more of an
outer demon
than anything. “What do you mean, ‘partly at fault’?”

“From what I’ve seen, this other part of you hasn’t gotten this kind of free rein before, right?”

I swallowed hard and shook my head. Even though Darkness was silent, it was like I could feel him listening. Yeah … he was definitely more present and free than he’d ever been.

And he wanted it to stay this way.

“Something backfires when a Taker and Watcher make eye contact and then go to sleep.” Jack shrugged and his eyes got a little distant. “I’ve never experienced it, since I spend a lot of time avoiding Takers. Basically, I hear that you both get trapped in some kind of dark emptiness for the night … and, in cases like yours, your other side gets full control.”

“Yes! That’s what happened.” I shuddered, remembering the inky suffocation. “It was so heavy I could barely breathe.”

Jack’s mouth pressed into a thin line, his expression grim at best. “I’d hoped you’d just lost control. Who is the Taker?”

“I don’t know him, but his name is Cooper.” I tried to remember anything that could help identify the guy, but he’d been pretty average in every respect. “He was with someone from my school. That’s all I really know.”

“You feel better?” Jack stood and dropped some cash on the table. “We’ve got to go.”

I was much improved, but confused about the sudden rush. “Where? I still have questions.”

“I know. Do you think your mom would mind if I stayed at your place for a while?” Jack started toward the door and didn’t even check to make sure I was following him.

“No. She’ll probably be happy that I know more people than just Finn and Addie.”

Jack hesitated, throwing a wadded-up paper from his pocket into the garbage. “She might recognize me.”

I remembered back in the hospital, when Jack had first introduced himself to Addie and me. My mom had looked at him funny even then. “How does she know you?”

“Your dad wanted to make sure you both were okay.” Jack stared at the garbage can, his brown hair swinging forward a bit, then pivoted toward the door. “Before we discovered whether or not you were a Watcher, entering your dreams was too risky. We couldn’t know what type of Night Walker you might be … and you’ve seen firsthand how bad it can suck getting stuck with a Taker. So I watched your mom’s dreams off and on … asked her some questions occasionally.”

“Weird.”

“Tell me about it.”

We reached the door, but I stopped as something occurred to me. “Why do you want to stay with us?”

“If there’s a Taker in town, there’s only one reason for it that I can think of.” Jack pushed the door open. We walked out into the bright sunshine, but his words sent the chill of deep night through my body. “He’s here for you—or your mom.”

Jack didn’t need to explain why my other questions had to wait. We ran to our cars and drove back to Oakville. Even if Cooper hadn’t known I was a Watcher when we met last night in the parking lot, he sure knew now after being in that suffocating dream with me. And Thor only had to look through Oakville High’s student directory to find out where I lived … where Mom lived.

The four-hour drive felt like the longest in my life. Darkness was strangely silent and subdued. I only knew he was still very present because every few minutes I had extremely violent thoughts and urges against Thor, Cooper … and, still, Jack.

I shuddered and turned the radio up, trying to switch my focus to anything else. My phone took a couple of minutes to power on once I’d plugged it in to the charger. At the first stoplight, I responded to numerous texts and two voicemails from Finn with a quick
I’m fine, just busy. Call me when your plane lands tomorrow
. And I called Mom six times with no answer. She was a realtor—she never went that long without answering her phone.

“We should kill him,” Darkness muttered from the passenger seat. When I glanced over and met the icy hatred in my own eyes, I cringed. His words, spoken so clearly in my voice, sent a cold chill through me that no amount of heat could melt away. “Kill Cooper and maybe even kill Jack. Kill everyone who gets in the way.”

Ignoring every word from Darkness, I focused hard on the part of me that was nothing like him. The part that cared only about those I loved. On that side, two thoughts rampaged through my head with every car I sped past on the way home.

First: Mom had to be okay. The Taker had found out about us because of me, because I was stupid and didn’t want to watch Mom’s nightmares again. I’d never forgive myself if she’d been hurt because of it. I’d do anything to keep the people I loved safe; I’d been willing to run away to prove that, back before the fire. I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again if the Taker would chase me and leave her alone.

Second: did Dad feel like this when he’d run to keep us safe? If Jack was telling the truth, then we were facing the same enemy now. If so, for the first time in years, I felt like I could understand—that I
might
be able to forgive him.

By the time I pulled into the driveway, with Jack’s green VW right behind me, I was in a full-on panic. My palms were so clammy it was hard to hold on to the steering wheel even when I gripped it so tight my knuckles ached. The radio had been blasting the entire drive, but the thrumming in my ears was so loud I couldn’t name a single song that played. It wasn’t quite five o’clock yet, but Mom’s car was home already. Climbing out of my car, I pressed my hand to the metal of her car hood. It was cool—she’d been home awhile. That alone made my hair stand on end. My mom worked hard, long hours and only took time off when she was sicker than sick … or when I needed something.

I bolted toward the back door, but Jack caught my shoulder with a quick shake of his head before I could go crashing in. When I turned back to face him, I saw Darkness standing by the car, fists clenched tight by his sides and madness in his eyes. Seeing my darkest thoughts and desires played out on his face—my face—was really messing me up.

Jack walked around me and placed one steady hand on the knob. He turned it and silently opened the door. Music played, some of Mom’s oldies, but I still felt on edge until I heard her laugh coming down the hall. Jack’s shoulders relaxed, but he crept through the kitchen without a sound. I stuck close behind him; Darkness followed us like a shadow.

When we turned into the doorway of the living room, I saw Mom and Mr. Nelson dancing far closer than I’d ever wanted to witness. Intense relief tainted by a bit of revulsion smacked me across the face, and Darkness and I groaned in unison. When I gave him a startled look, he frowned and faded back into the shadows. Mom and my physics teacher spun to face us and Mom wiggled out of Mr. Nelson’s arms, stepping awkwardly to one side.

“Hi, Parker.” Her smile was half-apologetic, half-embarrassed, and she seemed to be looking at everything in the room but me. “I didn’t realize you’d come home.”

“Obviously,” I muttered, watching Mr. Nelson smile, then frown, then put his hands in his pockets, then pull them out again. I decided to cut them some slack and let it blow over. At least Mom was okay. “Hi, Mr. Nelson.”

“I already told you, Parker … ” Mr. Nelson stuck the smile back on his face, but it fell again when his gaze settled on me. He leaned his head to one side with a slightly confused expression. “When we’re not at school, you can call me Tom.”

“Right—Tom—I’ll work on it.” I didn’t mind the guy. There were definitely worse men my mom could be dating. I guess that would have to be enough for now. Turning back to Mom, I waved my hand for Jack to step forward, but she’d started looking at me odd, too. Then she gasped and rushed over.

“What happened to your face?” She stood on tiptoe and grabbed my chin, pulling it down so she could inspect the scratches I’d gotten from Thor in the parking lot, which ran up my left cheek, and the ugly black eye on the right side of my face. I’d almost forgotten about that. At least my mind found an explanation easy enough.

“It’s nothing, Mom.” I gently pushed her hands down and looked over her shoulder at Mr. Nelson. He was frowning and looked almost—angry? What was that about? “I was at the mall last night and some guys felt like having a chat about the school fire.”

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time I’d come home with a black eye. Some of the guys at school were pretty angry about Jeff’s death. It was even worse because I’d dragged Mia and Finn out of the fire in time to save them, but I hadn’t saved Jeff. Top that off with the fact that I’d blamed the whole thing on Jeff and yeah, they were angry and pretty vocal about it.

And by vocal, I mean they liked to talk a lot.

And by talk a lot, I mean they pinned me against a wall and punched me until I wasn’t able to form words to disagree with them anymore.

“I thought you said that was over.” Mom shook her head. “I’ll go in Monday and talk to Principal Lint.”

“No, it’s just because Finn’s out of town. He’ll be back tomorrow. They’re not as willing to attack when you travel in packs.” Not exactly true. Finn had come home with a couple of black eyes himself, but Mom didn’t have to know that. I smiled, but with the swelling in my eye only one side went up like normal. Mom clucked her tongue and I shifted my weight a bit, angling my body so my eye wasn’t as obvious.

“Speaking of packs.” I gestured behind me toward the one person in the room who I still didn’t have a clue what to make of. “This is Jack. He’s new at school. I wondered if he could hang out here for a couple days.”

Jack stepped around me and smiled, extending his hand to Mom. She turned her attention to him but the more she stared, the more confused she looked. I stepped in to block her view and hooked my arm around her shoulder, breaking the spell as Jack turned and shook Mr. Nelson’s hand.

“His parents are spending the weekend visiting a relative. He didn’t want to go, but they weren’t thrilled with the idea of him being home alone,” I whispered in her ear. “Besides, I’m bored with Finn gone. You don’t mind, do you?”

She looked up at me and shook her head. “No, that’s fine. I think I’ve seen him around the school before. He looks familiar. Was he on the soccer team?”

“No, but he came to our last game, I think.”

Mom winced. She knew firsthand how badly the championship had gone, and she also knew I didn’t like to talk about it. She gave me a sympathetic squeeze, then scrunched up her nose and whispered. “You smell terrible, Parker. Did you take a run and not shower? Go clean up before anything else. I’ll grab you some ibuprofen for your eye, okay?”

After the night I’d had, I was glad she thought I just smelled “terrible” and not, as my friendly neighborhood cellmate had described it, “more alcohol than human.” Showering had been at the top of my agenda anyway. “Deal.”

“I’m making dinner.” Mom handed me the medicine and turned toward the kitchen. “Have you boys eaten yet?”

“
Nope.” I followed my mom into the kitchen as Jack jogged out the back door. He came back in with a backpack as I was checking out the delicious-looking roast in the oven. I tugged on his backpack strap, and he followed me toward my room as I shouted over my shoulder to my mom, “How long until dinner?”

“Go ahead and get settled.” She waved us away. “About forty-five minutes. I’ll call when it’s done.”

“Sounds good.” I smiled and felt another intense surge of relief when she smiled back without even the slightest bit of suspicion or worry on her face. For the first time in a long time, she looked genuinely happy. She deserved to stay that way, and I’d do my best to make sure she could. “Thanks, Mom.”

six

I’d never seen anyone eat like Jack … and Finn ate like a starving dog in a Purina factory, so that was really saying something. He dove in with such gusto that much of our meal was spent watching him, or waiting for him to take a breath so he could answer one of Mr. Nelson’s many questions. I’m not sure if Mr. Nelson was trying to avoid awkward silences or was more suspicious of my new friend than I’d expected. Either way, he was more perceptive than I’d given him credit for.

“So you aren’t taking Physics?” he asked.

Jack swallowed and took a sip of water. “No, but I’m getting my schedule sorted out for next year. Once I talk to the teacher, I think they’ll put me in Advanced Chemistry.”

I raised my eyebrows slightly at Jack, and he shrugged. I wondered if he was really planning to stick around that long.

Mr. Nelson nodded. “That’s not an easy class. Very impressive.”

A bitter wave hit me as I thought about the less-than-stellar grades I’d gotten in Chem last year. Dad had been a chemistry teacher, so it was no wonder Jack excelled at it. I fought back resentment, wondering what Mom would think if she knew Jack had spent so much time with her missing husband. But I squished the thought as soon as it surfaced. I was struggling enough with this situation and I didn’t have a choice. I was a Watcher. I was part of this new world whether I wanted to be or not.

I’d keep Mom out of it, and the frustration and pain associated with it, as much as I could.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and remembered I’d never called Finn back. When I tugged it out, though, it was Mia’s smiling face that flashed across the screen. I opened her text and stopped chewing my food.

Had a bad nightmare last night. Miss you more than I thought I would. We should talk when I get back.

I stared at the message, trying to convince myself that Mia didn’t mean it the way it sounded. Maybe the message was from Addie … actually, I hadn’t heard from Addie since yesterday sometime. Maybe she’d lost her phone and was texting me using Mia’s? Either way, it didn’t make sense for Mia to mean it
that
way. It wasn’t like that with us. It never had been.

“Parker, not at the table, please.” The way Mom could combine a happy, lilting voice with eyes that shot daggers was impressive.

Stuffing the phone back in my pocket, I pushed all the new, unexpected questions out of my head. “Sorry.”

Mr. Nelson smiled at my mom and I noticed Jack’s gaze harden. What was that about? He had something against Mr. Nelson? This whole dinner situation was just getting weirder, and I was done trying to sort everything out. I ate my last bite and stood up.

“Thanks for dinner, Mom.” I made certain to meet her gaze, knowing Jack hadn’t told me yet what happened when Watchers got stuck together for the night. “You mind if Jack and I go outside and play basketball for a bit?”

“Nope, that’s fine. Just please put your dishes in the dishwasher first?”

“Thank you for dinner,” Jack said to Mom as he followed me into the kitchen.

“You’re welcome,” she responded, and then I could hear low murmurs as she and Mr. Nelson spoke softly to each other back at the table. After a moment, I heard another soft giggle from her and fought not to groan out loud.

Yes, getting out of here was a very good plan.

“I don’t know how to play basketball.” Jack’s words were nearly drowned out by the water I was using to rinse my plate.

“We’re not playing.” I didn’t look up. “Just taking a few shots.”

“I don’t really know how to do that either,” he said, his voice still low but sounding strained.

“You’ve never shot a basketball?” Leaving the water running, I glanced at him over my shoulder but he kept his eyes down.

“No. I spent a lot of time out in the desert. Not exactly a lot of hoops out there.”

The desert—so Dad had ended up there. He’d mentioned a few times that it was a great place to get away from people, out into nature. When I’d considered running away, I’d thought that would be a good place to start.

Turning off the water, I walked out the back door, dug the ball out of a cabinet we kept our sports equipment in, and tossed it at him. “Doesn’t matter. Besides, this seems like a good time to try it out.”

He caught the ball and held it out in front of him like it was something dangerous. I kept my gaze on the crisscrossing black lines of the ball to make sure I didn’t accidentally look Jack in the eye.

“Just toss it up. Try to throw it in the hoop.” I nodded toward the basketball stand and bent over to tie my shoes.

I heard the ball crash into the bushes ten feet behind the basket and Jack cursing under his breath. Then I noticed Darkness hovering in the shadows behind the hoop. He was leaning against a tree and watching us in silence. His mere presence set me on edge more than ever. It was like knowing the floor beneath me was electrified and at any moment someone could flip the switch and fry me.

Even worse, I was starting to wonder if I’d be stuck with this constant fear forever … if Darkness would ever go away again.

“Maybe you shoot and I watch.” Jack jogged back with the ball and tossed it to me as I stood back up.

I shrugged. “As long as you’re still answering my questions, I don’t care what you do.”

“So ask.” He sat on one of the wrought-iron benches and folded his arms over his chest.

The ball felt rough and cold in my hands. I knew what I wanted to ask next, especially after the violent thoughts Darkness kept pelting me with. I just wasn’t completely sure I wanted the answer … but Jack might be the only one who could ever tell me for sure. Darkness shook his head from the shadows and I decided to go for it. “Is it possible to kill someone in a dream?”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Jack’s eyebrows fly so far up they almost melded with his hair. “Why?”

“Just answer the question.” My grip on the ball was so tight my knuckles hurt. I hurled it toward the basket and the collision made a clanging noise so loud it echoed back through the neighborhood around us.

Jack’s shoulders hunched forward as he watched me, as if they could guard his secrets. The ball rolled across the pavement and came to rest at my feet, but I didn’t pick it up. I just waited. It was a full minute before Jack responded. “I need to know you aren’t going to use what I tell you to try to hurt anyone.”

I swallowed hard and shook my head. It felt like someone had turned on a faucet and filled me from bottom to top with disgust. “That’s not the problem.”

Jack nodded. “Good. It’s very difficult to do, almost impossible—especially for someone like you, one of the Divided.”

I didn’t need to ask for clarification. I knew what he meant. “That’s what you call it? Divided?”

“You have a better name?”

“No. That seems about right.” I picked up the ball and rubbed my thumb along the seam. “How do people become … like this? And what does me being Divided have to do with the question?”

“It happens when a Watcher gets extremely sleep-deprived before finding a Builder to heal them.” Jack gave me a look that almost held pity or regret before looking away and continuing. “There’s a line somewhere that if you cross, you can’t go back. Once you become Divided, a Builder can’t fix it. They can still heal you, but you’ll always be Divided. It’s like your brain decided you couldn’t handle the situation and it broke off a piece of you that only cares about survival.”

Only survival.
That sounded pretty accurate. I nodded but didn’t speak. Then a thought bubbled to the surface that made me so angry it took several seconds before I could even form the words.

“You—and my dad—you both knew what was coming?” My tone dropped to a low and dangerous whisper. “And you just sat back and let it happen?”

“No!” Jack sounded so appalled it mollified my anger a bit. “We didn’t even know for sure you were a Watcher. Let alone that it was this bad. It can vary widely—when or if someone develops into a Night Walker. We weren’t sure.”

I didn’t respond, and Jack closed his eyes before finishing.
“You were good at covering your tracks, much better at continuing on with a normal life than we expected. I didn’t even know for certain you were a Night Walker until I saw you screaming at the passenger seat in your car … just before your accident. At that point, you were already Divided.” Opening his eyes again, he stared hard at me. “It was too late.
I
was too late. For that, I’m very sorry.”

The sincerity of his statement was hard to argue with, but I was still too upset to admit to any forgiveness. So I sat, letting him squirm with discomfort while I tried to sort through the mountain of new information that every conversation with Jack deposited into my brain. Finally, he changed the subject.

“Anyway … back to your question. In order to do that kind of damage to a Dreamer, you have to mean it. You can’t have any doubt or distraction. Your mind must be one hundred percent focused on destroying them. In the Divided, the two sides rarely have the same plan or goal in mind—so it doesn’t really happen.”

I’m not sure when my thumb stopped moving over the ball, but my body was completely still. When I’d attacked Dr. Freeburg in his dream, I’d felt no hesitation, no resistance. It could have been the one time Darkness and I acted together.

“Finally, you realize—” Darkness appeared right in front of me and I took a faltering step backward. With his back to the light, his face was hidden in shadow. The only thing I could see clearly was his cold smile. “You
should
be afraid of what I can do.”

My hands were shaking, so I tried to dribble the ball, but all sensation in my fingers seemed to have been cut off. After one bounce the ball hit my foot and flew over on to the grass. “I see.”

I looked down and felt Jack’s stare piercing through the side of my head. But when he finally spoke again all he said was, “Next question?”

Picking up the ball, I squeezed it between my fingers, grasping onto the first question that came to mind. “When you say a Builder can make you stronger, what do you mean?”

When he responded, his voice sounded like he was in a trance, like his mind was visiting some pleasant memory far away from the here and now. “They can craft a dream unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Absolute peace. Everything else disappears. They can reconnect the breaks in your brain, repair the damage that all the missing sleep has done. Even build new connections where you had none before. Depending on what they focus on, they can improve your memory function, your coordination, your ability to think on your feet and brainstorm. Everything you can imagine and more. They make you whole again. Like I said, they can’t fix a Divide like yours, but everything else is better—new and improved.”

I sat down on the opposite side of the bench, working hard to ignore Darkness and everything wrong with me that he represented, and tried to picture what a dream with a Builder would be like. Truly turning my curse into something that could help me, something useful. It was hard to imagine. “I see the appeal.”

Jack laughed. “Yeah.”

“How do you find a Builder?”

Jack bent forward, resting his elbows on his knees and studying the cracks in the pavement below his feet. The sky was long past sunset now and I couldn’t make out anything but his ears. His face was in shadow and his voice changed to match. “It’s extremely hard. There are as many Builders as Watchers, but since their ability doesn’t harm them in any way, most don’t know about it. Night Walker traits run in families, so we try to find and watch the bloodlines, but it isn’t easy or reliable. And even if you find a Builder, they’re always in danger. Many Takers target suspected Builders as well as Watchers. They capture them—or kill them. They consider themselves superior and the rest of us defective. Why should other Night Walkers live normal lives when they can’t? And if they wipe out the Builders … ”

“The Watchers die with them.” I watched Jack’s shoulders as he drew in a shaky breath. “But still, why?”

I didn’t know what else to say. This was a fight Jack had lived with for years and I’d just found out about today.

Jack rubbed his knuckles across the stubble on his chin. “As they go farther and farther down their sleep-deprived roads, Takers become less in touch with reality. Combining delusions and hallucinations with already sociopathic tendencies is not good. They can take over a Dreamer and kill their enemies without any trace of evidence leading back to them. They can walk into a police station, lie down on the benches in the waiting room, and kill someone while living inside the Dreamer’s body. They are capable of iron-clad alibis and can get away with whatever they want. Even worse,” he continued, “since Takers can’t easily identify a Builder by their dreams the way a Watcher can, they just target anyone who known Watchers get close to.”

I growled under my breath as images of my friends and my mom spun through my head like one of those picture carousels. “I’m really starting to hate Takers.”

The muscle along his jaw tightened and he raised his face and stared hard at me. “That’s a good instinct. Hold on to that.”