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Authors: Twice Ruined

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Patience went directly up to her room upon reaching the house, thankful not to have met anyone on the way. She rigorously splashed water over her heated cheeks and swollen lips. As she dried her face, she hoped her features would return to normal by the time she met with the seamstress for the fitting.

Her maid entered a few minutes later. “Excuse me, miss. But if you are ready, Lady Rutherford would like to see you in her rooms.”

“Yes, of course. I will be but a moment.”

Turning back to the mirror, Patience was relieved to see that she looked almost her normal self. Not wishing to dwell on Julius’ strange behaviour, she hurried to Lady Rutherford’s rooms.

She was greeted not only by that lady, but by her aunt, as well as the modiste, Madame Lucie, and the modiste’s assistants.

“Step in, dear girl,” said Lady Rutherford. “Come and see all the gorgeous fabrics that Madame Lucie brought down from London. There must be at least a hundred kinds!”

Lady Rutherford had not exaggerated. Every available surface was swathed in fabrics of every colour and description. Patience, who had spent all her life making do with the barest of necessities especially when it came to clothing, surprised herself by falling in with the enthusiasm of the other ladies. She was soon able to forget the incident in the garden and lose herself in this new and enjoyable experience.

“Look at this green!” Her aunt fingered a bolt of shimmering silk. “It would look extraordinary with your colouring. And this gold, is it not simply fabulous? Ordinarily, a debutante would only be allowed white or the palest pastels. But since you are to be married soon, we will not have to abide by these restrictive rules.”

The pattern for a ball gown had already been decided upon in her absence and only needed her approval. But several more dresses had to be selected.

Patience spent the next two hours standing around being measured and fitted. While her aunt exclaimed over her and flitted about the room, Lady Rutherford — obviously of the opinion that the girl was in good hands — snored gently on a nearby couch. When at last Patience was released, it was past midday.

“We will stop for now,” Lady Rutherford announced when she woke up. “We do not want to wear Patience out as there is still the dancing lesson awaiting her this afternoon. But first, a little luncheon to restore our energies.”

Patience did not need to be coaxed downstairs. Until this moment, she had not fully realised the extent of her aunt’s enthusiasm for fashion. Seeing her in action had been a revelation. She would have felt sorry for Madame Lucie and her assistants had she not seen how pleased they were to be ordered about by such a connoisseur of fashion.

Donning her aunt’s yellow dress once more, Patience let out a long sigh of relief. Lady Westbury, misinterpreting the sound said, “Do not worry dear. These few dresses are just meant as a starter. We will soon have more appropriate ones made up in London. We will also acquire shoes, gloves, hats, and whatever countless other articles you shall need.”

“Dearest Aunt! I did not mean to seem ungrateful. This is much more than I expected. I am simply a bit overwhelmed, that is all.”
Not to mention anxious at the thought of meeting Julius over luncheon.
Her outburst of temper had evaporated completely by now. But how she would be able to sit at the same table with him pretending nothing out of the ordinary had happened between them earlier, she did not know.

Fortunately, the Earl sent his excuses, as an urgent estate matter required his immediate attention. Nor did he put in an appearance when the time came for the dancing lesson. Philip, when asked to stand in for the Earl, was more than happy to offer his assistance while her aunt engaged to play the pianoforte for them.

As Philip pulled her closer for the waltz, Patience was forcibly put in mind of her encounter with Julius earlier that day when he had crushed her to his chest. But none of the puzzling emotions of that prior moment resurfaced to disturb her composure. How odd, she reflected, as she twirled about the room in Philip’s skilled embrace. Even though she was aware of being held by the most gorgeous man she had ever encountered, she did not feel any but the most placid of emotions toward him.

“Why are you frowning so?” asked Philip. “Aren’t you aware how fortunate you are to be tutored by me? Many a damsel would pledge their soul to the devil to be in your slippers right now!”

Patience smiled up at the boyish face and giggled. “Then I count myself most privileged to be the only damsel present at the moment since I can see it will be impossible for me to have even the pleasure of one dance with you during the ball!”

“Do not say so. If I could, I would only dance with you and no other.”

Julius peeked into the room in time to see his cousin look longingly into Patience’s eyes.

“There you are Julius. Will you be able to join us after all?” asked Lady Rutherford.

“Unfortunately, I am afraid I cannot. I was just checking on the progress of my betrothed.”

“She is doing splendidly! She has enough natural style and grace to make up for any lack of experience. I am sure she will be a huge success at the ball and in London for that matter. You will be lucky if she is not stolen right from under your nose.”

Julius’ dark brows drew together in a forbidding line. “If Miss Bingham wishes to be stolen, I will not stand in her way, unless of course she chooses to be stolen by Philip.” He gave his mother a stiff bow then was gone.

Lady Rutherford chuckled at Julius’ stiff retreating back. Was her son growing jealous? When she had first heard of Philip’s arrival, she had been worried that the boy might turn Patience’s head with his handsome face and flirting ways. Louisa had waved off her concerns saying that a little male rivalry was just what they needed to make Julius want the very thing he had been trying to get rid of before. It looked as if Louisa may have been right after all!

Chapter Nine

The day before the ball, the entire household was in a frenzy of activity. All of the servants had been put to work scrubbing, polishing, and rearranging, until even Patience found she needed to escape the whirlwind by midmorning. She headed for the secluded wooden bench where Philip had taken her the day before. Settling herself down, she heaved a sigh of relief. She knew she could not stay here long as she would be needed for more fittings, but for now, she intended to enjoy her moment of freedom completely.

Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply and listened to the rustle of the leaves overhead as they swung in the morning breeze.

If life could always be this peaceful
.

She usually loved being kept busy. At home, she was never idle for more than a few minutes at a time. Under normal circumstances, she would have been overjoyed to participate in the organizing of a ball — her first ball, too! But what was there to be happy about when the ball in question was to celebrate her engagement to a man who did not want her and whom she did not want in return?

A little pang of sadness squeezed her heart. If she were to be honest with herself, she did not entirely dislike Julius. Although he did not have his cousin’s angelic features, his overall countenance could not be said to be repugnant to her — quite the opposite, in fact. Her fingers had often itched to stroke his dark, silky locks, especially when they glinted in the sun as he sat at his desk. Not that she had spent her time spying on him through the windows that opened into his study. It was merely that she could not help noticing when she had looked in that direction when strolling outdoors. She had stroked those locks often while he lay unconscious after his injury. At first, she had needed to do so in order to keep an eye on the swelling at the side of his head, but it had soon been more for her own pleasure. Besides, it had seemed to appease him when he was having those fretful dreams and would not stay still. It was not as if she had taken advantage of the man!

But his eyes were the one feature that had attracted her from the very first when he had descended from his phaeton on that fateful day to take her valise and assist her into the vehicle. He had such serious grey eyes. She had not been able to resist wondering what they would look like when he smiled. It had certainly spurred her on when she was fabricating those outrageous lies about herself. But he had not smiled then, nor had he done so any time since, at least not in a warm, caring way. The only expressions she had been privileged to see so far were ones of scorn, disapproval, anger, and contempt. Unless she also counted the expression of desire that transformed his features whenever his gaze alighted on her breasts. Small lines would form on his brow. Then his eyes narrowed to half their size while his nostrils flared slightly. All of which had sent little shivers of excitement and exhilaration coursing through her own body.

“Patience?” A soft voice spoke next to her, bringing her out of her reveries. She opened her eyes to find a pair of blue ones staring back at her, not the grey ones of her dreams. Aware of an acute sense of disappointment, Patience forced herself to smile as Philip sat next to her.

“What time is it? Madame Lucie must have sent you looking for me. I promised her I would not be long gone, but I seem to have allowed myself to daydream for longer than I should have.” Patience made as if to rise, but Philip’s hand came out to rest on top of hers.

“I was ordered to find you, but I admit to wanting a few minutes alone with you as well. It seems that we are forever surrounded by people wherever we go.”

“With the house and grounds bursting with servants in preparation for tomorrow’s ball, a few moments alone would be an accomplishment indeed! And seeing as I am still unwed, it is unseemly for me to be alone with any man,” Patience chided gently.

“Of course, you must mean that my cousin is not happy with our friendship. Did he berate you yesterday for walking with me to this very spot?” Philip’s hands suddenly clenched about her own.

“Whether he did or not is not the point. As I am betrothed to your cousin, my actions will necessarily reflect on him, and I do not wish to give anyone more to gossip about.”

As Patience tried to free herself from Philip’s hold, she found her hands clutched more firmly still.

“Dear Patience, I am aware that all is not as it should be between you and Julius. I am touched by your honourable intentions towards one who most decidedly does not deserve them. But you do not have to be led to the altar by such a monster against your will!”

Patience found herself looking down at Philip as he shifted to kneel on one knee in front of her, squeezing her hands between his own.

“I have fallen madly in love with you and therefore would be elated to be able to call you my own.”

“Philip! You cannot be serious!”

“Of course! You will make me the happiest man on earth should you accept my hand in marriage!”

Before Patience had a chance to respond to this most surprising speech, Philip surged to his feet, bringing her up into his embrace and gluing his lips to hers.

Patience was too stunned to react. Philip seemed to interpret this as acquiescence, and attempted to deepen the kiss. Coming back to her senses, Patience struggled to free herself, but to no avail. Philip only wrapped his arms more securely around her, forcing her against the length of his body. Just as Patience decided there was nothing for it but to place a well-aimed knee between her unwanted suitor’s thighs, she was suddenly released and stumbled down onto the wooden bench behind her.

When she looked up, Philip was on the ground with a hand pressed to his jaw. Julius stood over him, glaring, fists still clenched. As soon as Philip regained his footing, Julius grabbed the young man by the collar and snarled, “I want you off my lands within the hour. Should you disobey, I will not hesitate to let my hounds after you. Do I make myself clear?”

Philip glared back at his cousin, but slowly nodded. Julius flung him away and Philip stumbled, nearly falling down again. The Earl watched until he headed back toward the house. Philip did not turn, but swayed unsteadily down the stone path.

Patience looked down at her hands, waiting for Julius’ wrath to come down on her. Not hearing anything, she chanced a look in his direction. She saw only his broad back as he stood facing the path, his hands on his narrow hips, feet planted well apart. He was so still that had she not known it was he, she might have mistaken him for a statue. Maybe now was a good time to sneak away. As she prepared to stand, the bench creaked under her. Julius spun around and caught her half standing, half sitting.

“Sit,” he ordered.

Patience was not one to obey mindlessly, but something in his tone warned her that now was not the time to test his tolerance of defiance. Therefore she settled herself on the bench once more.

“It seems to me,” began the Earl, “that had you not been averse to my cousin’s advances, you would not have struggled so strongly against his lovemaking.”

“I have told you before that I have no designs on your cousin, my lord.”

“We seem to have cleared one of my accusations, then. I wonder if the other will be so easily dismissed.”

“I do not think I follow your meaning, my lord.”

“Don’t you? Just yesterday, I accused you of having designs on my cousin, but pointed out to you the disadvantage of having to wait two years before you can get ahold of his fortune. I wonder if that had any bearing on your rejection of Philip today, and why you reacted so ardently to my kisses but not his.”

“My lord, the more I listen to you, the more I begin to wish I had let you drown in that pond! Or should we blame your present behaviour to your head injury? I must ask you, my lord, why did you come to my rescue just now? You could have allowed your cousin to have his way with me and take me out of your life for good.”

“I think you are forgetting one thing. Philip is my cousin. No matter how foolish he may act most of the time, I still care greatly for him. Do you think I wish to see his future ruined by such a harpy as yourself?”

For once, Patience was speechless. Could the man standing in front of her, the man she was about to be engaged to, really hate her so much? Unbidden tears suddenly welled in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Angrily, she swiped them away. She never cried, and she would certainly not humiliate herself further by turning into a watering pot in front of this spiteful man.

Patience stood up and walked away without bothering to answer. She was glad he did not try to stop her this time because she would not have hesitated to scratch his eyes out.

Julius, arms now hanging limply at his sides, watched as Patience stomped toward the house. What had those tears been about? He had never seen Patience cry before. The Patience he had come to know over the last few days would have been more likely to throw something at his head than put up with an insult. Was this another one of her tricks? Was she trying to manipulate him with her tears? A small voice of doubt whispered in his mind. What if they had been real tears? What if he had really hurt her?

Julius stuffed his hands in his pockets and with a well-aimed kick sent a rock sailing into the bushes. Damn the woman to hell! Couldn’t she just have stayed out of his life? Fuming, he strode toward the stables.

Lord Bingham came out from the bushes rubbing his forehead. Couldn’t the Earl have kicked that damn rock in another direction? But this minor discomfort had been well worth the trouble. It was a small price to pay for all he had learned. So all was not well with the lovebirds it would seem. The Earl looked so eager to get rid of Patience that he certainly would not care if she were to be suddenly subtracted from his household, especially just before they were officially engaged.

Lord Bingham jumped at the sound of a branch snapping behind him. Spinning around, he swept his gaze over his surroundings. Nothing. But it would not do to get caught on the Earl’s property. Better get a move on, especially if the deed were to be done tonight.

Lord Bingham walked back toward the road. He stopped only long enough to collect his mount, which he had taken care to hide in a copse. Giving a last look about him, he set his horse to a gallop.

Patience managed to get through the remainder of the day without showing her agitation. The fact that Julius was nowhere to be seen had helped a great deal. Her ball gown was now complete and hung in her armoire in readiness for tomorrow’s ball. Patience dropped onto her bed. She was supposed to be getting ready for dinner, but she did not have any energy left for pretence. Playing roles when one was enjoying oneself was one thing, but quite another when one’s heart had been crushed.

Well, maybe not crushed, exactly. Two incredible kisses were not enough to make one fall in love, were they? Especially if said kisses came from a man who completely despised one?

Patience sighed and pulled the bell cord. Her maid soon bustled through the door carrying a blue dress over one arm.

“The seamstresses are doing wonderful work, Miss Patty! They have just finished this dress. Would you like to wear it for dinner?”

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