Past Due (15 page)

His lips returned to hers before she could answer. She felt him settle between her legs and she welcomed him, opening her body and her soul. He kissed the hollow of her collar bone to the crest of her breasts, stalling until he could resist no more, wanting this moment to last a lifetime. He could feel her body searching him out, her hips moving beneath him, looking for satisfaction. He thought he had the upper hand, thought he could maintain control until her raspy voice, hot in his ear, melted him to the core: “I love you, Tres. So much.Oh, God, so much.”

His control shattered when he entered her body. The pace wild and frenzied. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him tighter as she gasped, her head tilting in pleasure, her legs tightening around his. He rocked against her until he could feel her build. The rhythmic movements of their hips bringing them both to the peak, where locked together, bodies entwined, they were one. Joined in body and spirit. Tres held his body rigid until he felt her quiver, only then did he allow his own pleasure to erupt, his body shuddering, collapsing against her, his face buried in her neck until he could catch his breath. It was several long minutes before he could rise on an elbow and admire the woman below him. He kissed her gently. His thumb stroked the smoothness of her cheek promising, “No one and nothing will ever come between us again.”

Chapter
11

Jenna snuggled into the crook of Tres’s arm and rested her head on his chest. He smoothed the tangle of curls that spread about her head; his fingers brushing against her temple as he pulled the silky strands between his fingers. Closing her eyes, she absorbed the peace being so close brought. She hadn’t felt this content and complete since they had parted. It took them fifteen years to come full circle, a lifetime of waiting well worth the price for perfection.

“You awake?”

“Mmm, hmm,” she answered not bothering to open her eyes.

“Good.” Tres propped himself up on an elbow, “Call Maureen, tell her to watch your son, and I’ll arrange to have us married by Wednesday.”

Jenna opened her eyes and looked up at Tres as if he were teasing. The smile on her lips stilled as she looked at the seriousness on his face. She still hadn’t told him about Tanner. She still had her confession to make. The cold chill of the coming storm drove away her contentedness.

Reckoning Day.

Judgment.

The ominous words lit through her mind, sped the pace of her heart as she tried to prepare her message. There was no easy way out.

“I don’t...there are things...” Jenna mumbled. Her hands felt cold so suddenly and their iciness spread to her limbs and caused her to shiver.

“What kind of things? You love me,” he kissed the tip of her nose, “so marry me.”

“But we still need to talk,” she argued. She sat up and pulled the sheet around her, tucking it under her arms.

“Tell you what. Let’s forget the past. All I care about is the future. And you are my future.” He took her hands in his own, “Come on Jenna, we belong together.”

“Tres, seriously, we need to talk.”

“Talk about what?” he asked, but didn’t wait for a reply, “I don’t want to know why you chose Jake.” He leaned his lips into her forehead and whispered, “I just want to know you choose me now.”

“Oh, Tres,” Jenna began quietly. “I love you and truly, marrying you would be my wildest dreams come true.”

“So...” Tres looked at her and grinned.

“So, there are things we’ve not yet talked about. We need to discuss what happened.”

“Jen, please. Stop. I don’t want to talk about the past. And I especially don’t want to talk about Jake.” He squeezed his eyes closed and pressed his lips against her skin. “Right now. This minute is all that matters. The past was all about pain and loss and we’ve got to leave it behind us. Your life with Jake is something I’ll learn to accept. He’s the father of your son and I realize it’s impossible to just forget him. And, I’ll admit I’m jealous, but I can deal with it.”

“Tres, please, you don’t understand. Tanner...”

“I suppose marrying and moving in together would be crazy. Too much for a kid to absorb, but I still want to marry you. It’ll be our secret. I won’t tell a soul until you think he’s ready. Please, Jenna. I just have this nagging fear of losing you again. I will get to know Tanner and I’ll learn to live with what his dad means to you both.”

“Tres, that’s what you’re not understanding.”

He stared at her, his face blank, but for the remnants of hope and a bit of confusion. She tried to explain, “I got married because I was pregnant—for Tanner’s sake—not because I loved Jake.”

Tres inhaled sharply, “All right. And Tanner seems like a fine boy. As long as you love me, I know we can make this work.”

Jenna’s words came slowly, her voice quivered, “Oh, Tres, didn’t you ever get my letter?”

“No, but it doesn’t matter,” he pleaded, gripping her hands in his own. “Please, Jenna, let’s just move on. You can’t understand how it torments me. Knowing you married him, had his child, and went on with your life while mine was falling apart.”

Jenna shook her head, ignored his pleas to just look forward, she dumped the truth without preamble or elegant speeches. She forgot all of her mental rehearsals and simply said, “He’s yours, Tres. Tanner is your son.”

The color drained from his face, “What do you mean, ‘he’s mine.’”

“Tanner is yours. He is your son, not Jake’s. Jake married me because I didn’t know what else to do. I wanted Tanner to have a family, to be loved and accepted.”

“You didn’t think I would love my own child? My God, Jenna ...” Tres said. She dropped her head. She couldn’t watch as the truth sunk in, bringing with it pain. Tres pulled away and stood. He yanked on his pants and shirt. He paced the room trying to sort out the feelings and images in his head. A son. The young man at the house belonged to him. Images of Tanner flashed through his head. The memory of the picture with him and Jake sliced through him like a dull knife. He closed his eyes and tried to be reasonable. He was a logical, even tempered man and it made sense to begin at the beginning. He forced himself to remain calm and ask, “You never told me?”

“I was at your house. The day of your graduation party. I was there, Tres. I saw you. You were with that girl by the pool.” Jenna felt her heart squeeze at the memory of Tres, so at ease and happy as he stroked the thigh of the girl on his lap. Jenna had wanted to die at that moment more than any other in her life.

“I gave a letter to your mom. She said she would give it to you. I just couldn’t stay there one second more. Standing there in your house, I suddenly realized how different we were. And the girl on your lap was…”

“What girl? Damn it, Jenna, you know there was only you in my life.”

“I saw you with my own eyes. My heart broke. I didn’t want to believe it, but it was you. I couldn’t deny what I saw right in front of me. And it seemed to fit. Your life was so different from anything I imagined before, and everything in my life was going to hell. It was no surprise I was losing you too. I just accepted it. I accepted that I was no more than a pregnant fool who could never belong in your world.” She felt her heart break at the memory. She wiped at the tears on her cheeks and continued, “I couldn’t stay at your house a minute more. I had to get out, so I left. I went home and called Jake. He promised to help me.”

“Really? Seems pretty damned convenient. Bury one sister then move on to the next.”

“Oh, Tres, Jake only tried to help. He didn’t do anything wrong. He loved Angel, and he’s not to blame for her death. My sister killed herself.”

“So that left you for Jake to move in on?”

“No. I needed his help.”

“The hell you did. You could have had me. I would have taken care of you. I would have taken care of you and my son.”

She wiped at the tears smearing her mascara, “I thought we were over. Jake was only there because I asked him to be. There were times when I wished I had died instead of Angel. I loved you so much and I knew it was over. I tried to hate you for it, but I kept thinking about how foolish I was to think you honestly, truly wanted me.” Jenna’s shoulders shook with the sobs she could no longer control. She took a deep breath and composed herself enough to continue, her words broken and near breathless, “but I had my baby to think of. I had an obligation to him to keep it together. I made the choices I thought were best for him. Jake suggested I go to Maureen’s to stay. She would help me talk to my dad. Help me figure out what to do. It was a good plan, and would have worked if that evening hadn’t been such a disaster. But that night, everything in my life went from bad to unthinkable.”

“Jenna, how the hell could you have done this to me? To us? How could you give up so easily? What, you came to the house once, then give up?”

“Things happened, Tres.”

“What things, Jenna? What could happen that would stop you from getting through to me?”

“I’m trying to tell you,” Jenna whispered.

Tres tried to be calm. He rolled the tension out of his neck and took a deep breath. His eyes settled on Jenna. He stood silent, listening.

Jenna continued, “That night, Jake came to take me to Maureen’s. My dad was supposed to be out late, but he came home early. Jake was carrying my bags to his car, when my dad stopped him in the hallway and ordered him out of the house. I tried to explain to Dad; that I called Jake for help. And Jake tried to calm him down, tried to tell him I’d call him later, but Dad was overwrought. He grabbed me and started shaking me; screaming at me about Jake. I begged him to stop. He was hurting me, but he couldn’t hear me because he wouldn’t stop yelling. He slapped me and told me I was a fool like my mother.” Pausing, she sighed, “That hurt worse than any slap ever could.”

“And I guess I just became hysterical. I couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t talk to my dad, couldn’t calm him down. When he came toward me again, Jake punched him, and my dad fell to the floor. I started to go to him, but Jake told me to leave. I should have stayed, should have done something, but I felt like I was in a tunnel and everything was black but the path ahead of me. Maybe I could have stopped what happened, but I just kept moving down those steps. Never stopping until I heard the shots. I didn’t quite know what the sound was until Jake’s body rolled past me on the steps. I ran to him, tried to stop the blood pouring from his body. I heard a scream. I guess it was mine. There was blood on my hands and I tried to breathe, but everything went black. A paramedic woke me in time to see Jake carried away on the stretcher and my dad being arrested. Maureen came and got me and I stayed with her while Jake healed. When he came home from the hospital he went to Richmond to talk to you time and time again. He tried to tell you, but he said you refused to talk to him. Your family had him arrested at least twice. I overheard him tell Maureen you broke his nose and called me an opportunist. Marrying him seemed like my only option.”

“He’s a liar.”

Her body shook. She gripped the bedspread until her knuckles were white. She felt the room close around her. The air felt thick and difficult to breath. Her hand closed around her throat as if she was choking.

Tres went to her quickly, wrapped his arms around her and rocked her like a child, “Jenna, baby, calm down. It’s ok, it’s ok.” She clung to him, her arms wrapped around his neck.

Her breathing slowly calmed, but the tears continued to fall. “I loved you Tres. A day didn’t go by I didn’t miss you. I never stopped loving you. Everyone thought I wouldn’t date because of Jake, but it was because of you. I never stopped loving you.”

“Jenna, why didn’t you come to me?”

“I thought you knew. I always thought you knew. I figured you turned your back on us.”

He kissed her ear and brushed the hair from her tear soaked cheek. “Oh, baby. I wish you had trusted me. Believed in me.” He sighed. “Believed in us. In what we had.”

“I was confused. Girls get used all the time. That’s what drove Angel over the edge, I’m sure of it. She told me she met this guy and she was crazy in love with him. And he dumped her and she broke down. I lost my sister, my father, and you and I hurt so bad. It was like the pain of it all combined was too much. It was a struggle just to survive. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t trust myself to feel. I just lived, one day then the next. And so did Jake. We were both hurting. He needed me, and I needed a friend. I thought I was doing right by Tanner.” She looked at Tres, beaten and defeated, her body shaking. “And look what I’ve done.”

Shivering, goose bumps rose on her arms. Tres wrapped his arms tighter around her, his voice warm in her ear, “Oh, Jenna. How could you ever doubt I loved you?”

“I guess it was easy to doubt why someone as perfect as you would want someone like me.”

He framed her face in his hands and lifted her gaze to meet his. “Jenna, you are perfect.”

She bit her lip, still certain if he knew her well enough, he’d have a different opinion, “You don’t know everything about me. Jake did. That’s why I knew...”

Tres’s jaw clenched, his hands dropped to her shoulders. He squeezed them and she flinched. He spoke, his voice low, like growl, the anger in his eyes burned into her own, “The hell with Jake. The bastard stole everything that belonged to me. He took my child and my love. The son of a bitch took the life that should have been mine.”