Pathway to Tomorrow (9 page)

“Where is she?”

“Outside with Bucky.  She’s saddling him up for his morning ride. She doesn’t know I’ve taken her phone.”

Thanking the god of small mercies that Izzie seemed to be devoid of any sort of moral compass when it came to other people’s property, Marcus allowed himself a moment of hope.

“Perhaps you’d better return it.”

“You’ll talk to her?”

“Of course I will, if she’ll let me.  Just take the phone out to her.”

“Okay,” he could hear the relief in her voice. Then the tension came back.  “Why is she doing this Marcus?  Why won’t she speak to you?”

“Because she’s scared.”

“Scared because I want to sing? Scared because I’m going to leave home?”

His voice was sharp as he replied.  “Although you might find this difficult to accept, not everything revolves around you, even though your sister makes it seem that way. This is about Jodie and her feelings.”

“Her feelings for you?”

He sighed.  “Maybe.  Now take me out to her please, before she sets off.”

He heard a lot of background noises as she zipped up her school bag, grabbed her blazer, and hurried out into the yard. Then he heard the sharp clop of a horse’s hooves on the paving and a muffled conversation. Suddenly Izzie’s voice was clear again.

“Gotta run.  The school bus will be here any minute.  Bye Jodie.”  There was a pause, and then she added, “Oh, I nearly forgot.  Here’s your phone. You left it on the table. You’ve got a call.”

He grinned.  Trespasser, thief, liar, was there no end to her criminal tendencies? Then he forgot all about her because Jodie was on the phone.

“Jodie its Marcus.  Please don’t hang up...and don’t be cross with Izzie either because she’s only doing what she thinks is right. She’s worried about you and so am I.”

“Well you don’t need to be.  I’m fine.  I just think it’s better if we take a break.  I’ll have to talk to you when you get back won’t I, because of Izzie’s music, and because you’re coming to the stables to check out the riding program.”

Despite himself, he chuckled. 
“You’re nothing if not tenacious.  I thought you’d have forgotten about that by now.”

“Not a chance, not when I’m sure it will do Luke some good.”

“Okay!  You win, but on two conditions.  The first is that you stop blocking my calls, and the second is you meet Luke before you start making any plans for him.”

“Done!  And I’m sorry I stopped talking to you.  I don’t mean to be so prickly. I guess Izzie just caught me at a raw moment.”

“No she didn’t.  She scared you.” Having got this far he wasn’t going to let her shy away from the truth. “She made you face up to your feelings Jodie and they frightened you.”

“You’re an expert are you, on other people’s feelings?” her reply was tart.

“Yes.  I’ve had so much therapy I am about as much of an expert as you are ever likely to meet.  I know about scared too, because for years I was scared every single day. It’s why I gave up performing.”

* * *

Three weeks later Jodie urged Buckmaster into a gallop and then gave him his head.  He raced down the deserted beach, his mane and tail flying in the wind as he kicked up little puffs of sand behind him.  Laughing out loud, she reveled in the clear blue sky and the crash of the waves on the shore.

“Marcus is coming home today, Bucky,” she told him.  “And guess what?  I’m not scared anymore…well maybe I am a little bit…but in a good way!”

Buckmaster snorted, as he always did when Jodie spoke to him.  She tweaked his ears affectionately.  “You see he’s got hang-ups too, and responsibilities, so he understands how I feel.”

“His wife died when Luke was two, and Marcus blames himself.  He says he went away a lot and left her to cope with Luke on her own. He says he didn’t even notice when she became depressed because he was too busy touring.  He had no idea she was taking anti-depressants as well as other drugs until she took an overdose.  He doesn’t think she meant to, not really, but he’ll never know for sure, and that’s why he can’t forgive himself.”

Buckmaster slowed to a walk. He was breathing heavily.  Jodie leaned forward and pressed her face against his neck. “And it’s why he can’t perform anymore either. He’s scared that if he does, something bad will happen to Luke. It doesn’t make any sort of sense but I guess that’s what hang-ups are all about Bucky.  They don’t make sense…they just are!”

They reached the bottom of the bridleway as she finished speaking and she slowed to a gentle pace so she could see the latest progress on Marcus’ house.  The studio was taking shape now and the builders were busy digging the foundations for another structure a few meters away.  Marcus had explained about the glass corridor linking the two buildings.  He had explained about the swimming pool too, and the gym, as well as the specially equipped ground floor suite for Luke. 

“Swimming is good for him,” he’d said when she teased him about his grandiose plans. “And he needs the gym for his physiotherapy. He suffers from poor coordination and balance plus a whole host of other minor difficulties so regular exercise is an essential part of his routine.”

She’d stopped teasing him then because she realized he didn’t like it…not when it was about Luke.  Instead she’d asked him about the rest of the design and been impressed with the comparative modesty of his own needs.  The studio and Luke’s pool and gym complex would dwarf the rest of the house.

A huge covered truck was blocking the road as she approached the end of the bridleway.  Bill was talking to the driver but when he saw her he stepped forward and unlocked the gate. Smiling her thanks she guided Buckmaster through. 

He nodded towards the truck.  “Those are for you.”

The rear doors were open and Jodie stared inside in disbelief.  The interior of the truck was crammed with row after row of laurel bushes, each one at least eight feet tall.

“They’re for the bridleway, to stop people looking in,” he explained, waving in the general direction of the driveway to where trench had been dug along the full length of the wire fence separating it from the path.

She grinned at him.  “He doesn’t do things by halves does he?  Those bushes must have cost a fortune.”

Chapter Twelve

The rest of the day dragged.  Apart from one short text telling her his plane had landed safely, Marcus hadn’t contacted her.  Knowing he had meetings with his agent and with his recording studio, and accepting he had to spend time
with Luke, Jodie tried hard not to mind.  Besides, commonsense told her he would have far less free time now he was back into his everyday life. There would be no more late night phone calls, no more confidences shared. He would be too busy.

After twenty-four hours she started panicking.  “I can’t remember what he looks like,” she whispered to Buckmaster as she tightened his girth.  “I can’t even remember what he sounds like anymore.”

Buckmaster blew into her ear and then nuzzled her pocket, hoping to find a carrot. She pushed him away with a sigh. What a fool she had been.  Why on earth had she spent so much time talking to Marcus when anyone with an ounce of sense would have realized he was just filling in time until he could return home and get on with his life?

“Come on Bucky,” she led the chestnut horse out of his stable. “Let’s go and see if those laurel bushes have been planted yet. At least he’s kept his promise about finding another way to protect Luke from people using the bridleway.”

* * *

The gate was open when she and Buckmaster arrived and the lane outside was full of men wearing safety boots and fluorescent jackets.  Some were unloading another truck of laurel bushes and others were re-routing the footpath that led to the bridleway.

Anxious to get her horse past all the activity before he was spooked, Jodie dug her heels into his flanks and directed him through the open gateway.  As she did so she wondered how much all this extra work was going to cost.  Not that it would faze Marcus, not when he was already spending a fortune on his house and studio.  For the first time she considered what it meant and her thoughts grew even darker.

Marcus Lewis was famous and he was rich.  He probably had more money than anyone she knew. More money even than the wealthy trainers she had worked for in the past. Far more money than her stepfather had had in the days when he’d bought her whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted it; so why on earth was he bothering with her?  Was it to keep her sweet so she wouldn’t tell the Press about Luke?  That must be it because she had absolutely nothing else to offer him.  She was nobody.  She couldn’t compete with his world of glamour and celebrity, nor did she want to.  She wanted to stay in the village, living with Izzie, and running the riding school. They might not have much money but at least they were safe. Izzie was safe.

Thinking of her sister reminded Jodie of Marcus again and she scowled.  She might have given in over the music lessons but only because Izzie wanted them so badly, not because she wanted to please him. There was no way she was going to sign up to any plans he might have to encourage Izzie onto the stage.

Buckmaster, sensing her tension, quickened his pace.  Automatically she reached down to pat him. As she did so she found herself looking into a pair of bright blue eyes.  Marcus was leaning against a tree.  He looked just the way he had before panic had erased his features from her memory.  He was tall, tan, and far too attractive, and she wanted to get past him as quickly as possible.

“You’re late today. I was worried I’d missed you or you’d taken another route.”

She shook her head and wished her tongue hadn’t suddenly stuck itself to the roof of her mouth.  She had forgotten how the silver frosting on his hair contrasted with the blue of his eyes.  Forgotten how his lean, angular frame and sharp cheekbones gave him a look of moody mystery. Forgotten how much his face lit up when he smiled.  He was smiling now but his smile slowly faded when she didn’t respond.

“Jodie!  Is something the matter?”

She shook her head again.  It wasn’t important that she’d lost the power of speech because how could she tell him she’d already given up on him. How could she say she didn’t believe all the things he’d told her, all those words about how much he wanted her, about how he was counting the days until he could see her again?  All of it had been fantasy, the fantasy of someone alone and lonely, and three thousand miles away. If they’d had those long distance conversations in the clear light of day instead of in the dark intimacy of her bedroom she would never have fallen for a single word. With something close to a sob, she kicked Buckmaster’s flanks.  She needed to get away.

Marcus was too quick for her.  Producing an apple from his pocket he held it out. Buckmaster, torn between obedience to Jodie and his own greed, was unable to resist it.  As he took the apple with a whicker of pleasure, Marcus grabbed hold of his rein.

“I’m not letting go until you get off and talk to me,” he told Jodie.  “I don’t care if you drag me all the way down to the beach with you.”

At her third shake of the head Marcus put his hand on her riding boot. His voice hissed with anger and frustration.

“Get down and tell me what’s the matter Jodie! I thought we’d gotten over all this.  I thought you wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see you.”

“I do. I did,” she croaked, swallowing hard against the dryness in her throat.

“So what’s changed?”

“Me.  I’ve changed Marcus.  I’ve had time to see how it really is between us. How all that midnight talk was because you were lonely and I was flattered.  I…you don’t want me, not really.  I wouldn’t fit into your life.  I’d…”

His eyes blazing Marcus tugged at the stirrup.  “Is this what happens when I don’t call you for one day?  If it is then what you’ve just said is true.  You won’t fit into my life, not if you don’t trust me.  Not if you don’t believe I meant every word I said to you.”

“I’ve knocked myself out to get here this soon Jodie.  I went straight from the airport to the meetings in London I told you about. Then I spent time with Luke.  Not nearly enough time, but sufficient to remind him who I am.  After that I grabbed a couple of hours sleep, just enough to make sure I could stay awake on the motorway; just enough so I could drive safely through the night and be here in time to surprise you on your early morning ride. But if that’s not enough for you then I guess you’re right.  We’re done!”

He let go of her foot
and Buckmaster’s bridle as he finished speaking, and moved away.

Jodie stared down at him. “You did all that…for me?”

This time it was his turn to give a silent nod.

“Marcus…I’m sorry!”

He turned back to look at her.  This time his eyes were a dull grey, and he appeared older. He looked, she thought, as if someone had punched him.  His shoulders drooped and there were dark smudges of exhaustion under his eyes.

Without another thought she kicked her feet out of the stirrups and slithered off Buckmaster’s broad back.  Relieved of his load, and aware that Jodie was no longer concentrating on him, he wandered over to a patch of grass and began munching.