Pawn of the Billionaire (13 page)

Inside, I was seething. Maybe Paul needed to be pulled off the work. Maybe I should get his internship transferred — Japan might work.

We got to the end of dinner.

“Tomorrow, shopping.” I kept my tone light. “Have you ever been to Fifth Avenue?”

She stared over at me and said, “I’m sorry, could we do that another day? I just want to go home.”

“But it’s quite late, and the room’s all ready upstairs.”

She shook her head. “I’d rather go home. Can we do that?”

I was puzzled. “What’s the problem, Toni? I’m sure we can work through it here.”

She shook her head again. “Surely you can arrange it. I really, really want to go home. And we could have our coffee on the plane.”

She was right, of course. But I didn’t fancy it being another three hours before we got to bed. Still, the sooner the better, if we really had to go. I leaned back, and the waiter was beside me in a flash.

“Get Lawrence, please. My personal secretary.”

It was only a moment before he was beside me. “We’re going home tonight, Lawrence. As soon as possible. Could you organize it, please?”

“Of course, sir. I’ll let you know when the car’s here.” On his way out of the room, I saw him speak to the waiter, and shortly afterwards coffee was served.

“I thought we’d have coffee on the plane.” Toni still seemed a little on edge.

“We can do that as well, but we have to wait while Lawrence organizes the plane from standby to readiness and gets our bags repacked.” I wanted her to realize that she’d inconvenienced people by asking for a change in plan. Then I felt ashamed of myself. I’d done it often enough, and after all, my staff were exceptionally well-paid to be accommodating. I glanced over at her again, and realized she looked very pale.

“Are you all right, Toni? You don’t look so well.”

She straightened up. “I’m fine, thank you.” She didn’t look at me. And I looked away, proud of the way she wouldn’t use feeling ill or pretending to as the reason she wanted to get home.

She thanked the hotel staff well enough, and soon we were back in the air and on the way home.

I
leaned back
in the seat with my eyes closed. It was a way to get time to myself for a while so I could think. James sat quietly beside me. I could sense his solid presence, comforting and just there. I asked myself again what was the matter. I’d just had the sort of evening any girl would die for. I’d enjoyed it too, right up until the point where I’d had this shock, this sudden knowledge.

He didn’t actually care. The smooth, suave exterior, the gentlemanly manner, the polite listening. It was only as far as he wanted to go. People only mattered to him when things were going his way, doing his wishes, making his life comfortable.

I wondered idly if he’d ever cleaned a bathroom or made a bed in his life. But I didn’t need to wonder, I’d put money on the answer being no. And all this living the life of luxury, I’d thought I could get used to it. But I felt alienated, stripped from my past, from people. I was being made a plaything, a suitable wife for a man that I’d thought I was getting to know.

I wondered how Sam was doing. And Pete and even Marco. I wondered if they ever thought about me, if my time there had made a difference. I squeezed my eyes shut even harder, to try and stop the prickling feel of tears. They mustn’t show. Mustn’t.

His hand covered mine. Warm and comforting. But I should snatch mine away. I didn’t want to, and guiltily let myself feel as if he cared.

“James?” I didn’t open my eyes.

“Yes, Toni?” I felt his breath warm on my cheek. He must be leaning close.

“Do we know how Sam’s getting on? You were going to get him on a vet program or something?”

There was a moment’s silence. “I haven’t asked lately, Toni. But I got Lawrence onto it when I was going to ask you to leave the diner and I know he’ll be keeping an eye on how Sam’s getting on.”

His hand left mine, and I sat up and looked around. I missed James’ presence next to me, and I was angry with myself about that.

He was over on the other side of the cabin, having dropped into the seat next to Lawrence, and they were talking together. I watched them curiously. They seemed more like friends than employer and employee, although I’d never seen Lawrence anything but respectful.

Then he handed James an iPad that he’d been using, and James brought it over to me.

“Here you are.” He gave it to me. “Here’s the email trail from the non-profit that Sam chose to go to. They update Lawrence every week and Sam adds his bit, and a photo sometimes.”

I sat up straighter, and began scrolling through the emails. They were from someone called Bill, who was apparently Sam’s key worker, and there was a photo of him and Sam in a cafeteria, laughing together. I examined it. I could barely recognize Sam, he looked open, relaxed and happy.

Swallowing, I read through a few of the emails. It seemed that Sam had moved into the community of vets and was getting the opportunity to refashion his life the way he wanted to and at his own pace. I had to blink a few times. Then I came across an email which thanked James for his generous support, and that the extra funding would be used to extend the facility to enable the charity to support another ten veterans. It confirmed that Sam had whatever support he needed for the rest of his life, and that someone would always keep in touch with him.

“Thank you.” I gave the iPad back to James and sat back again, closing my eyes. I had to think. Did he care? Or was there just so much money around that he’d done that without even thinking, just to get me to agree to his demands? Could I stay with a man who didn’t really care about anyone except himself?

Desolately, I realized that I’d have to. I didn’t really think he’d cancel Sam’s program if I left, but I knew I couldn’t live without him, and when I thought that, I was angry with myself. I’d sworn to be successful in my own right, never to be dependent. And here I was falling for a man and wanting to stay with him even if he didn’t care about me.

J
ames sat quietly
by me the whole time. He didn’t say a word to me, except when he held my wrap for me when we’d landed, and helped me into the car. The city was almost silent as we drove home, and I was so glad when I was finally climbing the stairs to my room. But as I got to the door, his arm came across me, stopping me from going through.

“You need a good night’s rest, Toni. But I don’t think you should sleep alone.” His voice was controlled, concerned. “I would like us to share a bed tonight. Yours or mine, doesn’t matter. Just to sleep.” He rested his bent head against mine. “I think you need a night-long hug.”

I blinked. Why couldn’t I tell if his concern was real? Why was I suddenly questioning everything? I shook my head, undecided.

“I wish I knew what I’d done that was so wrong, Toni. Then I could try and make things right again.” He sounded so genuine I nearly gave in. No. I had to think.

“It’s not your fault.” I didn’t know why I said that. “No. I have to think.” And I went into my room and shut the door. I leaned back against it, wondering if I had the energy to make it across to the bed. Then, without any conscious thought, I went toward the connecting door to his room. I leaned against it, so close to knocking and going in, the thought of sleeping in the safety of his arms almost overwhelming.

If I hadn’t been leaning against the door, I wouldn’t have heard him. But I was. I heard a string of muffled curses and the smash of glass. I wondered if he’d thrown it. Slowly, I turned away and lay on the bed. It should have been a wonderful day. Why had I let myself ruin it?

Ten minutes later I levered myself to sit on the edge of the bed. Slowly, I took off the earrings and the necklace, and slipped off the bracelet. I laid them on the nightstand and ran my tongue over my parched lips. I was too tired to go over to the bar fridge and get a bottle of water, so I flopped back onto the bed with a sigh. No, I couldn’t wear the dress. I’d be mortified if I tore it, so I slowly unzipped it, letting it slide down and I folded it over the back of the chair. Then, in my bra and panties, I crawled under the comforter.

Gradually, I felt sleep taking me. I’d thought I’d lay awake the rest of the night, but I could relax. I had a decision to make tomorrow, but tonight, I could sleep. And as I drifted off, I knew what the decision would be. I couldn’t go. My heart was bound up in his, and even if he didn’t love me, I wanted to be by his side.

I just had to learn not to be hurt at the times when I would see that he didn’t care.

I
sat
in my high wing-back chair, my crossed leg swinging. It wasn’t any good. Losing my temper, chucking the whiskey glass, it wouldn’t help.

What the devil had happened tonight? She’d had a wonderful time, she’d accepted that money could buy experiences denied to others and had enjoyed it anyway. Surely she hadn’t suddenly felt guilty? If I was right about that, it would’ve happened weeks ago. Or she would’ve started demanding stuff for her friends that she’d left behind.

I had to be wrong. I thought back. The atmosphere had changed about when we’d ordered dinner. I racked my brain. What was it? What?

I glanced over at the clock. I’d been here an hour. If she thought I was going to leave her tonight, she’d got another think coming. She must be asleep by now. She’d looked exhausted. I got up quietly and went to the connecting door.

Silently, I slipped into her room and looked over at her. She was curled up under the comforter, and her face still held the strained tightness of earlier. I saw that she’d taken the time to leave her dress neatly over the chair and the jewelry in a safe place. She’d learned her lessons and she was mine.

It was time to tell her that I loved her and I was going to make her mine. Perhaps she’d got suspicious, knew that something was amiss.

Maybe she even … oh, I didn’t know. We needed to sort things out. I couldn’t lose her. I stripped my suit off, taking care not to leave it on the floor as a bad example. I grinned, or the mischievous Toni might try and insist on spanking me. That was out of the question.

Slowly and softly, I slipped in behind her. She was deeply asleep, but her body curled instinctively, pushing back into me. I wrapped my arms around her, feeling the heat wherever our skin touched. She began breathing more deeply, her muscles relaxing. We fitted together beautifully. I nuzzled my face into the back of her neck, breathing in the scent of her. I could never let her go.

I glanced over at the window, where the drapes were still open. Dawn was only an hour or so away. I could rest. I had Toni safe in my arms, where she should always be.

I
roused
when she shifted in her sleep, and waited while she settled down again. Then I went back to sleep. I knew I could wake before she did, and I wondered what to say to her then.

I woke with a jump when she did.

“Oh!”

I tightened my arms. “It’s okay, Toni. I’m here looking after you. I want you to be safe, and I want to care for you always.” I felt her racing heartbeat as she lay in my arms.

“I’m here for you, Toni. I don’t know what I did yesterday, but I want you to tell me, so I can put it right.” I pulled her closer. “I don’t ever want to see you unhappy again.” She didn’t move, or try to pull away from me, and my hopes rose.

“Whatever it was, please let me change it.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think you can.”

I held my breath. Was it that awful?

“What is it? It’ll be better if you share. It will. Let me help.”

She rolled over, and buried her face in my shoulder. “I wish I knew you better.”

I rocked her soothingly, feeling puzzled. “We’re getting to know each other, Toni. All we need is trust, and then time. Time together, trusting each other.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t … wasn’t …” Her voice tailed off. “I know it doesn’t make any sense.” She lifted her head up. “Will you make love to me, please? I want to feel you inside me.”

I shook my head against hers. “No. I didn’t come in here for that, Toni. I came to support you and find out what was wrong, help to get it right.”

Her face turned up to mine. “But it will help make it right. I need to know — need to feel if …” her voice caught. “If you care.”

I’d been about to lift her face to mine, drop a kiss on her forehead, but when I heard her, I froze. How could she think I didn’t care? How had she come to that conclusion?

“Show me you care. Make love to me and show me.” Her hand was gripping my arm, vice-like.

I couldn’t think this was a good idea, but I couldn’t see a way of denying her without making it seem like I wasn’t respecting her feelings. “Toni. I care. How could you think I don’t care?”

Her face was close to mine. Fuck, she was irresistible. “Don’t talk. Show me.”

That wouldn’t be difficult. I was hard as a rock with my need for her. But how could I really show her when I didn’t know what she was looking for?

“All right.” I kissed the tip of her nose. “Let me just grab a condom.” And I rolled away and went to my room.

When I got back, she was lying on top of the comforter, and was naked. Her body gleamed, long and elegant, but her face still bore the strain of yesterday, and she looked exhausted. Her eyes were closed.

I knelt beside her, my eyes exploring her. I had to try and find clues to what she wanted, how she wanted me to do this, and not just take my own pleasure. I could sense she was waiting for me, her breathing was rapid, and I could see a fast pulse beating in her throat. I delighted in looking at her, the swell of her breasts, the way her belly hollowed, and the fine shadow of the promise between her thighs.

“Toni, I’m here. I’m going to touch you now.” I kept my tone very low. I had to speak as I didn’t want to startle her. Then I let my hand touch the side of her face and trace down the side of her jaw. I drew her face closer to mine and lowered my lips to hers. As my mouth touched hers, she sighed and her lips parted. I ran my tongue along the edge of her teeth, not pushing or invading.

I let my hand drift down, cupping the swelling of her breast and letting my thumb rub over her nipple. I felt it harden under my touch, but her breathing didn’t change. Maybe this was what she meant, that I didn’t adapt to her likes and wants. I let my hand drift further, sliding along her back and over to her ass. I gripped the sexy roundness of it and pulled her tighter in towards me. She drew in a sharp breath and pressed her hips closer to mine.

I lifted my head, watching her face as her expression tightened, then lifted her body higher against mine, burying my mouth against her shoulder, pressing my body against hers, so I could feel her heartbeat racing away against my chest. Now I could reach, and my hand drifted over her ass, and I slid my fingers down the crack and past her tiny pucker, on towards her center. She gasped, and her heart beat fast against my ribs. I pressed her closer, my other hand pushing under her body, drawing her closer to me.

My cock was pressed hard against her mound and my belly. I thought I was going to explode soon, but as my fingers slicked through her wetness, I knew she was ready for me. She moaned as I moved my hand, but as I lifted her leg up over my hips, she wrapped it around me, her heel digging at the back of my legs. Her mound jerked against me, and I let my cock press against her entrance.

“Yes! Now!” she muttered, as her body tensed.

I slid in an inch or two, waited, and she pushed herself against me with a frustrated noise. Smiling, I eased in a little further and I let my hand slide back along her leg, managing to find her clit. She jerked and arched backwards, her face showing raw passion. I could hear her gasping breathing and feel the rising tension in her muscles. I pushed into her a few more inches, and she moaned.

“Don’t stop! Don’t stop!”

My own movements were getting harder to control, but I redoubled my hand movements and felt her body begin to tremble as she got close. Then she froze and I felt her clench around me as her body bucked and began to convulse. That was enough for me and I gripped her body close to me as I emptied myself, our bodies joined as we climaxed together.

Then we lay, still entwined and our bodies limp as we recovered.

“Toni, sweetheart. I care. Please stay with me and show me what you need so that you never think I don’t care about you.”

She murmured softly and snuggled in close. “Thank you. And thank you for bringing me home yesterday when I know you didn’t want to.”

“Toni, I want to do whatever’s right for you. Please believe me.”

She lifted her head, looked at me. There was wonderment in her eyes. “I do. Thank you.”

I hugged her close, breathing in the scent of her, mixed in with the smell of our own arousal. It was a shame that it was morning, and we’d soon have to move.

I
t was
time I told Father. Toni would be showering and dressing for the next half-hour at least. I put on my robe. I needed to get this done while I wouldn’t be overheard.

I went down to my study. I wanted my old chair for this. I knew what he’d say. He’d tell me that duty came before pleasure. I’d started this as a business venture and mixing business with my own desires was never successful. He’d tell me I mustn’t do this. He’d tell me I was letting down the family, and he’d tell me my mother would have been disappointed in me. He knew how to wound, did my father.

Still. I knew what I’d do. I could tell him we’d found a number of girls from good families here, and I’d find another one and send her to finishing school. Toni was mine. I smiled at the phone.

“Hello, Father, it’s me.”

“Well, hello, James, my boy. I’ve not heard from you for a while.” He settled into his stride without asking why I was ringing. “The roofing quotes you sent from America were a godsend, Son. The new quotes are a great improvement, and the inspector has said we can start as soon as we like. Oh, and your brother hasn’t been in touch for a fortnight. I wish I could get a chip implanted in him like the damn dogs. Then I’d know where he was.” He was barely stopping for breath. I had to put a stop to this.

“Father. Father. Wait. I’ll ring back later for the rest of the news, but I have something important to tell you.”

“Oh. Right-oh, Son. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I am telling you now. It’s about Antonia.”