Pawsitively in Love (20 page)

“You don’t look very happy to be here,” Evan said.

“It’s not what I thought it would be like.”

“What did you think?”

“I don’t know.” Della made a face. “I didn’t think I’d walk into you with your little boy toy and your dogs and your dinner. I thought I was your sister.”

Evan knew it wasn’t very far from the “no reasoning with her” stage. He’d been there. He wanted to escape already, and it hadn’t even been twenty minutes. “You are my sister, Dells, and I love you a lot. But I live far away, and I need people in my life here so I’m not alone.”

“And a fucking pug?”

“His name is Dexter.” Evan reached down to scratch Dexter’s head. He thought the dog somehow could tell whatever was going on was hard for Evan. He stuck by Evan’s side and hadn’t budged yet.

“Does Mom even know you’re here?” he asked.

“Like she gives a shit.”

Fair point.
“Does anyone at home know you’re here? The salon? Your friends?”

“My cell was turned off a few days ago, okay? I forgot to pay my bill. Nobody cares anyway.”

And that would be why he hadn’t heard from her. Evan felt another stab of guilt that he’d forgotten to call completely. He’d been so caught up in Austin that it hadn’t even occurred to him.

“I’m tired, Ev. I don’t want to eat your date food. I just want to go to bed.”

“Follow me. I have a guest room. You can even have your own bathroom.” He led Della down the hall to the room across from his. She flopped down on the bed when she got in there and didn’t say another word to him. Evan waited for her to talk, but she didn’t. He finally just backed out of the room and shut the door.

What the hell just happened?

He went back into the living room and sat on the couch. It hadn’t even been a half an hour since Austin had left. But the whole amazing night that he’d planned for them was ruined. And if he was completely honest, he had about zero idea what was going to happen next. His sister was in his house. It had barely sunk in.

Eventually, Evan got up, cleaned up the dinner and put the lasagna into the fridge. His pretty cheesecake was in there, mocking the mess that the night had become, so he just shut the door and motioned for Dexter to follow him to his room. He doubted Della would come out again. Maybe he could call Austin and apologize. He didn’t even know how.

AUSTIN HAD
just gotten home with a burrito he didn’t really want when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone. Honestly, he didn’t know what the hell had just happened. Evan’s sister was…. She wasn’t anyone he would’ve ever pictured being related to polite, fastidious Evan. He looked at the phone screen. It was Evan. Austin swiped his finger across the screen right away.

“Babe?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Evan sounded so defeated already. Quiet. It hadn’t even been a half an hour. “Where are you?”

“Just got home. Me and Mags stopped at Memos for a burrito.”

There was silence for a full ten seconds before Evan rushed out with “I’m so sorry. I had no idea she was going to show up.”

“That much was obvious.” Austin had never seen someone so shocked.

“She’s never given a single indication that she wanted to move up here.” He took a long ragged breath. “God, I hate myself.”

“Why?” Austin asked.

“Because I don’t want her here,” Evan nearly whispered. “I want her to go back home.”

“I’m not going to ask why. I think I already got a pretty good taste of it.”

“I have no idea what to do. She’s my sister.”

“I know, babe.” Austin knew his hands were tied. He was
not
going to be the one to say anything specific about Della and what Evan should do. He knew better than that. Evan had to think his own thoughts about his sister. Austin refused to be the bad guy.

“So maybe tomorrow, you can come here? Think about the situation, give your sister some space? I don’t really have to go into the shop. Or I can if you want the apartment to yourself.”

Evan let out a shaky breath. Like he didn’t even know what to say, let alone think. He probably really did need some time alone. “That sounds amazing, actually. She’s here, though. I don’t want to just ditch her.
Fuck.
”

“Ev, I’m not going to tell you what to do. It’s your sister, obviously. I just want you to have somewhere to go if you need it, okay?”

“Thank you. You have no idea how much. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me. You know I’m going to be here for you. Do you want to talk right now?”

“Yeah. Fuck, I wish you were here.” He paused. “I can’t believe I just said that.”

“I’m not that bad,” Austin teased gently. “I’m glad you want me around.”

“No, it’s not that. You know how things are for me. I’ve always wanted to stay away from people… you know, because of the way things were at home. Even as an adult I’ve done that. But I don’t feel like that right now. And it’s a first.”

“I want to be there too.”

“It feels really good to hear you say that. Shit,” Evan whispered. “I hear her out in the living room. I’ve gotta go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

EVAN SNUCK
out of his room and halfway to the living room before he realized he was sneaking. In his own house.

“What’s up, Della?” Evan asked. “I thought you were going to bed early?”

His sister was rooting around in the freezer. For Lord knows what. “You have any ice cream?” she asked.

“No. I usually only have it for special occasions. I try not to keep stuff like that sitting around.”

“You were always such a monk.” She rolled her eyes. “Where’s the closest store?”

“Why don’t I take you? It’s not far, but I don’t want you to get lost.”

“Sure. Can we get some cereal too? Doesn’t look like you have any of that.”

Evan also didn’t tend to keep empty carbs around the house either. “Yeah. I don’t eat much cereal.”

He got his keys and his wallet and waited for Della by the door. Dexter looked up at him with big confused eyes. He didn’t even know how to explain the new person in Dexter’s life. Evan did notice that his dog gave Della a wide berth instead of cuddling right up to her like he did with everyone else. It would be good for Dexter to go hang out at Austin’s apartment the next day too. He could be out of the stress and with the person, and dog, he seemed to love the best.

They drove in relative silence to the store. Evan had too many things he wanted to say to Della. None of them were things that wouldn’t start a big fight. He wasn’t in the mood to fight just yet. Not when he didn’t even know what he wanted to fight about specifically. Did he want to tell her she should move home? Or that he couldn’t handle having her so close to his life that had been going so well for the first time ever? He didn’t know how she’d react to either of those things. Saying them to her scared the hell out of him. Evan had spent so long calming Della down when she was angry, he cringed at the thought of being the one who made her that way.

“Here we are,” he said when he pulled into the store’s lot.

“What is this place? Some pretentious preppy bullshit mart?” she asked. “Really, Evan. Aren’t there any regular stores?”

Evan took a deep breath and tried to relax. “There are. But this is where I like to shop, and if I’m going to buy a few things as well, then I’d like to buy them from here.”

Della rolled her eyes. “Fine. But you’re paying.”

Evan got out of his car slowly and took his time grabbing his bags from the backseat and locking his door. He and Della walked toward the large front entrance to the store. He kept looking over at her, waiting for the other Della to shine through, the one that made it so easy to love her. Evan thought back to their phone calls over the past months. He hadn’t heard that Della in so long. The one sulking next to him was so angry and combative. He wondered if it was his fault for leaving her.

They made it through the store. Eventually. She wasn’t a fan of the ice cream flavors but finally managed to pick one that was acceptable, and she didn’t like the store in general. Or anything in it. Evan tried not to get frustrated, but it wasn’t easy to be patient when everything was a fight. He checked out as quickly as he could, and they made their way back to his car.

“You’re someone else here,” Della said. “I don’t like it. Where’s my brother?”

“I’m really not. This is who I always was, Dells. I haven’t changed.”

But he had. And as far as Evan was concerned, he’d changed for the better.

EVAN DIDN’T
sleep much that night. Neither did Dexter. It seemed like the two of them were dancing around each other, neither of them able to get comfortable. Evan hadn’t slept by himself much in the past month or so. That might have something to do with it. By the time he got up in the morning, he felt like he’d been through a battle. He just wanted a strong coffee, a muffin, and Austin to cuddle with. He pulled his phone from the pocket of his lounge shorts.

I’m definitely coming over for a little while today if that’s okay….

He felt guilty as hell. Of course he did. Della was new in town, and she had a car but nowhere to go. And here Evan was, going over to Austin’s and ditching her. But he couldn’t breathe with her around. He’d forgotten how hard it was when he’d been back home. He’d thought he knew how things were, but he had been wrong. It had been so long since he’d felt it.

Della’s door was shut. Evan knew she wasn’t a huge fan of getting up before noon. There was no way he wanted to sit around and wait. He was going to write a note.
God.
I’m an awful brother.
His phone buzzed in his pocket. It was Austin telling him to come over. He got a piece of paper out, wrote Della a note that he’d had some plans for the morning and to call him if she needed anything, grabbed Dexter, and left. He got over to Austin’s before he realized he was still wearing what amounted to his pajamas.

AUSTIN SMILED
at him when he pulled open his door. “You okay?” he asked.

“Not really.” Evan slumped into Austin’s light hug.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“Can we sit? I’m so tired.”

“Of course.” Austin took Dexter out of his arms and led them to his squishy couch. Evan sank down into it and closed his eyes.

“Okay, so I’ve told you a bit about Della, but not everything. I just… I don’t know if I can handle having her here in town.”

“Can you tell me a little more about your relationship with her?”

Evan sighed. He wanted Austin to support him. He really did. He still absolutely hated talking about his family. “Okay, so I’m guessing you know that my parents haven’t really been around, seeing as though I never talk about them.”

“I kinda figured.”

“Well, I don’t know my dad at all. He left when I was too young to remember him.” Evan played with the fringe on one of Austin’s sofa pillows. He’d literally never said any of this out loud. “And, like, that would’ve been no big deal, right? Shitty but okay, except my mom hasn’t been around much either. She likes to gamble, and she really likes to drink.”

“So you were in charge of Della growing up?”

“Yeah. She’s five years younger than me, so I was basically her parent. She’s always had a lot of emotional problems, but I feel like they’ve gotten more intense since she hit adulthood. Maybe I’m imagining it.” Austin was going to hate him for the next part. “And I feel like an asshole, but when I moved here, it was such a relief. I basically deserted her, but I almost had a life. And then I did have a life once I met you guys. For a few weeks at least.”

“I get that it’s hard, babe. You want to take care of her and be there for her, but you don’t want to be her whole life.”

“Yeah. And she’s never said as much, but I think she’d like it if I was her whole life. She pushes everyone else away. Everyone that she could really get to like.”

“And you’ve never gotten close to anyone
you
could really get to like.”

“Picked that one up, did you?” Evan bit his lip.

“Hey, you look exhausted. We could talk about you and your sister all morning, and I doubt it would change anything, but if you got a bit of sleep a lot of things might seem a whole lot better.”

“Yeah, I could use some sleep. I slept horribly last night.”

“That’s because you didn’t have me there.” Austin leaned over and dropped a kiss on Evan’s forehead. “Go, ahead. I have some stuff to do on my laptop. Why don’t you go into my room and pass out for a little bit?”

“Would you come work in there?”

“The tapping won’t annoy you?”

“No. I think having you around is exactly what I need. You were right.”

Austin smiled. “Of course I was.”

EVAN WAS
on pins and needles by the time he came home. He’d left Dexter with Austin, which seemed like a good idea at the time. And probably was a good idea. He just thought he could use the comfort. When he walked in the door Della was on his couch watching TV.

“Hey, Sis.”

“Where were you?” she asked. No hello, just anger. Cold, still anger.

Evan came around and sat on the couch quietly. He looked at her face and tried to see his sister, even a little bit. He smiled at her like he used to when he wanted to calm her down.

“I left you a note. Did you see it?” Evan’s gut sank. He shouldn’t have left. He should’ve stayed with Della and helped her get settled in.

“Nice. You had
plans
? I just got here, Evan, how could you take off all day?”

“It’s only two, Della. I wasn’t gone all day.” Truth was, as soon as he’d talked things through with Austin, he knew he needed to come settle with Della.

“You’re worse than Mom.”

“You never told me why you didn’t let me know you were coming.”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t want me to, okay? Nobody wants me, including my own brother.”

And now I feel even worse….
Because the truth was, she wasn’t exactly wrong. But Evan couldn’t let her know that.