Payback Ain't Enough (2 page)

“Punk muthafuckas.” Forever shook his head and wheeled himself out of his cell.

I got behind him and began to push him across the compound. As we passed the TV area, niggas were playing cards, chess, gambling, and talking shit. The shit reminded me of that HBO special
OZ
. Forever got his usual shout-outs since
he still carried much weight in the Feds and he had much respect… wheelchair and all. And I had to admit I received plenty of benefits from being on his team.

“Yo, I need you to go pick up that weed from Shokkah,” he told me.

“Aiight. I got you,” I said as I continued to roll him down the corridor. After the first few stops I began to roll him in the opposite direction of Shokkah’s cell.

“Hold up, where the fuck you going?” Forever snapped. Something I was used to.

“Nigga, Shokkah ain’t going nowhere. They servin’ that barnyard pimp today. You know everybody and they momma gonna be at chow. My man is gonna hook us up.” I continued to roll him toward the chow hall.

“Word.” Forever was in total agreement with me.

It was Thursday, and my man Dark was right. It was chicken day and every nigga in this bitch was rushing to the chow hall.

“What up, Moe?” I asked one of my newest customers.

“Forever, I gotta holla at you later.”

“I’m sure you do, nigga. You know I got you,” I told him. It was also payday for those niggas who worked in the Unicor factory. Payday was always a very busy day for me.

“Yo, where we going?” I asked Dark’s black ass for the second time. Chow was to my right, but he was wheeling me to the left. My antenna went up. “Yo, nigga, what’s up?” Dark wouldn’t answer me. I looked back at him, and he was
looking straight-ahead with this glassy look in his eyes. I saw that same look on him before. It was right before he took out King Bey. And I saw it again, right before he took out Big Will. Dark got off on taking niggas out. He was that one nigga who loved to put in work.

“Fuck!” I spat as I slapped the arm of my wheelchair. Dark laughed. He knew I had just caught on to what he was about to do. He picked a damn good day and time to do this. And the fucked-up thing was I didn’t even see it coming.

I ignored my gut when it warned me that this muthafuckin’ Dark was a snake! And as usual, my gut was right! I shouldn’t have trusted him—let alone taken him under my wing. Youngins these days don’t respect the code, and they damn sure don’t respect one another. Shit… I should know. I used to be one of them grimy, backstabbing, lying, conniving muthafuckas. Here I done put the nigga up on game. I made him, gave him all the jewels and the word on any and everybody who thought that they were somebody, and now this dirty bastard was preparing to do me in. These new niggas got the game fucked up! How can I, a nigga in a wheelchair, be a threat to this muthafucka? I can’t do shit for myself, let alone to him.

My wife, Nyla, made a huge attempt from day one to stay by my side and to do this bid with me. But every time she came to visit me, the look of pity and disgust on her face told it all, so I told the bitch to step. Fuck her. I couldn’t stand for her to sit there and look at me like I was some fuckin’ cripple. “Yo, anybody around? This Forever!” I yelled out.

“Chill out. Ain’t nobody else down here, maine,” Dark said as he looked back and forth down the hall before closing the
double doors to the laundry room. He then wheeled me over to the far wall, snatched the remote off my chair, and hit the lock at the bottom so that I was parked.

“What’s up? What’s it gonna be?” I asked him.

“Forever, you a smart dude. I know you know what this is,” Dark said as he pulled a cord out of his pockets and began tying my wrists behind my wheelchair.

I simply looked at this nigga and wished to have five minutes where my body was fully functional so I could stand up and rip this nigga’s heart out of his chest. At that moment, it seemed that all of the washing machines started their spin cycle. Dark mumbled something, stepped away, and then grabbed some rubber gloves out of a bucket. My heart fell to my feet as he put them on, and as he was doing so the nigga had the nerve to be smiling. This nigga was crazy for real. I remember like it was yesterday, the day I took him under my wing.

I had been watching him the minute he arrived at the pen. Even though he was ruthless, he was a stand-up type of dude who wasn’t on that homo-thuggin’ shit. I got some niggas together, and we went to go see what he was made of. My crew cornered him up in the shower as I fell back in the cut.

“So you that nigga, Dark?” my dude Ronnie had asked him. No sooner than the words left his mouth, the other guys who were in the shower began to file out. They knew instantly what it was.

“You don’t look like a man that would pick the wrong muthafucka. So do what you came for,” I heard Dark say.

Okay cool. So the nigga wasn’t backing down. He passed the first test.

Anxious, Ronnie was the first one to go at him, and they went at it. When the other niggas saw that Ronnie was being given a run for his money, they all jumped on him. Dark was swinging and tossing those niggas left and right. When they saw they had no wins, Gator pulled out a shank and started to swing. I sat amused, watching Dark duck and weave. Dark grabbed Ronnie and pulled him in front of him using him as a shield.

“Enough!” I screamed at them niggas. Immediately everyone started to stand down, but Dark was still holding on to Ronnie. He was breathing heavy and was ready to get it in. “Dark, let the muthafucka go,” I told him.

Gator said, “You a lucky bitch today.”

“You the lucky muthafucka,” Dark spat, shoving Ronnie into Gator.

“I’ll get with y’all later,” I said. The four of them backed up slowly. Once they were all gone I moved closer to him.

“I don’t owe you shit,” he said right away in an attempt to let me know that he wasn’t the type of nigga that was going to live his bid paying the next nigga back.

“I didn’t say you owed me anything. And I don’t owe you. But when shit wear off, come see me,” I told him and then backed up and rolled out.

Once shit had time to cool down he came to see me and after that first conversation we became inseparable. Now here I was about to lose my life to the only nigga that I can say I trusted. Oh well, fuck it! It is what it is. Sometimes you the killah, sometimes you the prey.

I knew that Dark would kill a man for me at the blink of an eye and took pride in doing it! He had so much potential.
Niggas would tease him and tell him that he looked like that dude off of
Martin,
Brother-man from the fifth floor, and he would get pissed. He was just darker. Fuck that, the nigga was pitch black. Dark was a quiet dude, and at the same time he was gung ho. He had no qualms about puttin’ in work, and he had lots of niggas shook because his hot temper was easy to set off.

“I appreciate how you put me on game and everything. It’s mostly because of you that I’ma get out and get on top where I belong, real fast. And I’ma stay there,” he told me.

The more I looked at him, the more he looked like the devil. That glazed look in his eyes grew more intense.

“See what happens when the student gets ahead of the teacher? You really think it’s that easy, huh? You’re gonna become the don overnight? You really think you’re gonna come from behind these walls and take over? I created you with these hands, and by these hands I will destroy you.” I spoke firmly like a father to his disobedient son or like Geppetto to ignorant-ass Pinocchio; this wood nigga thinks he’s about to become a real boy.

“Show me a nigga that gets on top and stays on top and I’ll kill myself and save you the trouble,” I told him, at the same time wondering how I was going to die.

“It’s my time to shine, Forever. I’ma get out and shake shit up! Too bad you won’t be around to hear my name. And for the record, this shit right here is only business. It’s not personal.”

“Business for who? At least you can tell me that!” I needed to know. Only because I wanted to know how deep the saying “You reap what you sow” went. He ignored me
and disappeared behind one of the industrial-sized washers. I heard him coughing. And then he reappeared, wearing a mask and carrying two thin plastic bottles.

“This bleach shit is strong,” he said while coughing.

“Bleach? Nigga, why won’t you just slit my throat and get it over with?”

“Nah, this is how they want it done. It’s bleach and ammonia. And don’t worry about for who. It don’t matter nohow. You outta here.”

“Fuck you, nigga. You doin’ me a favor.”

“Fuck me? Nah, fuck you, nigga,” he said as he came toward me.

“Sheeeit… If you can earn stripes off of killing a handicap, then you deserve to be on top. I’ll even give you my parking spot! Pussy-ass nigga!” He thought he was killing me? Sheeeit, I died the day that bitch Shan pulled the trigger and put me in this fuckin’ wheelchair. Fuck the bullshit I ain’t mad; I’m relieved. I laughed in that nigga’s face, and if he was close enough I would spit in it. “My streets gon’ eat yo’ ass up,” I said. “You young and you dumb.”

“You watch. This time tomorrow, you’ll be in the fridge and I’ll be a free man preparing to claim my throne,” Dark gloated. As his mouth twitched as if he were the joker.

Suddenly I began to laugh uncontrollably. “Throne? Who the fuck you think you is? There’s a million-and-one hustlers just like you on the streets. I hope you got enough bullets!” I snapped. As I watched Dark adjust the mask over his nose.

I knew I shouldn’t be doing this. Here I was getting out in about thirty-six hours and I gots to kill me a nigga one more time before I hit the bricks. Why did I have to do this? What stupid nigga would take this kind of chance? Why jeopardize my freedom like this? I could just walk away and chill out for the next thirty-six. Just as those thoughts ran through my mind, Forever looked over at me. And that look, the expression on his face, convinced me that I had to do this.

“I don’t know why you playin’. You and all the rest of your Memphis muthafuckas around here don’t know who the fuck I am and what the fuck I’m capable of. Y’all punks ain’t the only ones who gets down and dirty. I’m from the ‘D’, and we gets it in too. D is also for Dark, muthafucka!” I said as I prepared myself to pour the strong-ass concoction down Forever’s throat.

His ass being in a wheelchair made my deed much easier to carry out. With his wrists tied together behind his back, I put him in a chokehold. And since his mouth was open and he was talking smack, I shoved the opening of the bottle into his mouth, forcing him to swallow over half of the poisonous liquid. I stepped back and looked at him. Nothing was happening and then finally he started gagging. His body jerked and writhed uncontrollably. I was getting excited. The skin on his face turned yellow, and craters popped up. Blisters sprung up all around his lips. The whites of his eyes were now dark red, and tears streamed down his cheeks. His purple tongue now dangled out of his mouth. The shit was unreal. I’d never seen anything like it. He started puking yellow shit and shook
his head violently from side to side. After a few more jerks, his body went still.

I snatched off the jumper I had on over my khaki uniform and balled it up. I took off the gloves and pulled off the mask that covered my nose and mouth so I wouldn’t inhale the fumes. Unfortunately the mask wasn’t helping. I couldn’t stop coughing. I should have worn a pair of goggles because my eyes were stinging.

I threw everything in the trash bin, poured the remaining concoction over everything, and then wheeled Forever all the way to the back of the laundry room. Dude was fucked up. I went over my crime scene before opening the doors and peeking both ways. It was dead. I shut the doors and made my way back to my unit. My mentor was gone.

I couldn’t get back to my dorm fast enough to jump in the shower, hoping that I didn’t reek of that smell. I stripped and put all of my clothes in the washer. By now, my eyes were burning so bad I could hardly see. And that bleach shit was fucking with my breathing. I wished that I had taken Forever up on his offer and slit the nigga’s throat and been done with it. But the reality was, slitting his throat would have been too messy, and this job had to be clean. Doing the deed damn sure was putting my release date on the line. Thirty-six more hours and I was a free, fuckin’ man.

When Briggen introduced me to Nick I could feel all of the color drain from my face. I was just hoping that he didn’t notice. But he did, and he asked me, “Are you feeling sick again?”

“A little,” I heard my voice squeak as I sat down on the lawn chair. We were chillin’ in our backyard. It was almost seventy degrees. I hadn’t seen or heard from my brother Peanut’s road dawg and partner-in-crime in a couple of years. Nick showing up in my backyard threw me for a loop. He had a long history with my brother and I. He used to fuck with my best friend, Brianna. I had a hell of a crush on him while I was in high school and me and him held a secret that no one else knew.

“Let me get you a ginger ale. Nick, I’ll be right back, and then we can make that run,” Briggen said.

Nick waited patiently for Briggen to get out of earshot. I was so emotional I was trying not to cry. Nick was the only other family I had, and he just up and disappeared. Before I could get a word out, Nick beat me to it.

“You didn’t think I would forget all about you?” he asked me. “Are you okay? And you’re pregnant?”