PENNY (3 page)

"I'm not. I just need to be alone."

He took a seat beside her. "I will only go if you be honest with me and tell me you're not kicking me out because of how you feel about me. Tell me that. Do you want me to leave because you're tired or because you are trying to avoid this topic?"

"Forrest..."

"Tell me that and I'll go." She couldn't. She wanted to but she couldn't. "Iris, I'm in love with you, too." She was afraid he would say this. Which is why she never confessed.

"Forrest, I..." He reached out, placing his hand on her cheek.

"I know. You don't wanna ruin my relationship with Charlotte." She lifted her head to peer in his brown eyes. "You're willing to sacr
i
f
i
ce your happiness just so someone else can be happy. That is why I'm so in love with you. You're a rarity, Iris."

If only he knew the truth. The reason why she didn't tell him how she felt before.

A week later (March 20, 2009)

Iris tried to avoid bumping into Forrest. She managed to slip pass him for a whole week. But luck usually ran out after a period of time. He lived across the street from her. So it was inevitable that they would meet up again. Pretty soon indeed.

"How are you feeling?" Roman, Iris father sat at the kitchen table talking to her.

"Better. Doctor Willis gave me something d
iff
erent." She informed, sipping on her soup. "I feel hungrier. Still tired though."

"Well, that's to be expected." Peggy spoke, approaching the table.

The sound of the doorbell rung throughout the house. "Expecting company?" Roman asked.

"No." She answered, refusing to get up and go see who it was. She had a feeling it would be Forrest who she'd been avoiding.

"I'll get it." Peggy stood up. She left the kitchen, proceeding towards the front door.

Iris hoped it wouldn't be Forrest. But she had a bad feeling it would be. "Hi, Misses Henderson." She recognized that voice immediately.

"Hey, Forrest." She invited him in. "It's so good to see you. We were just having dinner. Care to join us." He followed her to the kitchen.

"Hey, Mister Henderson."

"How are you, Forrest?"

"Pretty good." His eyes wandered
off
to Iris who hadn't acknowledged him. "Hey, Iris." He spoke while taking a seat across from her.

"Hi." She responded, never looking up at him.

"So, Forrest...how's school coming along?" Peggy asked, sitting a plate in front of him.

"Pretty good. In my third semester. Straight A's." He spoke proudly.

"That's wonderful, Forrest. Iris is getting straight A's too."

"That's to be expected. She's so smart." He replied. Sh
e
f
i
nally looked up at him, her heart skipping a beat instantly. He sat there peering in her eyes while st
uffi
ng some rice in his mouth. Peggy continued to eat as she watched the two who were behaving oddly.

Chapter four

After dinner, Iris couldn't wait to go up to her room. Forrest watched her rush out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. "Thanks for dinner." He spoke, quickly following the way she went. "Iris." She was already up the stairs. "Iris!" He rushed up the stairs as well. She entered the room, attempting to close the door when a foot held it open. "Iris..."

"Forrest, I can't talk." He forced the door open, inviting himself in.

"We both know that's a lie." He shut the door behind him. "Why are you doing this?"

"What I said was a mistake. I was just confused. I..."

"Stop lying. Why are you always doing this?"

"Because I'm not meant to be happy!" She raised her voice.

"Says who?!" He snapped. "Why the hell would you even think that?" She watched him move in closer. "Because of Charlotte? Is that why you're denying your feelings for me?" She held her head down, thoughts wandering her mind.

"I don't wanna...hurt you."

"I don't think that's impossible."

"Well, you're wrong. I will hurt you, Forrest. So you should just forget about us." He shook his head.

"I won't. I refuse to give up on something so important to me." He reached out to touch her, but she pulled away. "Iris...you're beginning to make me angry. You won't like it when I'm angry." An inside joke. She loved the Hulk and he always made references to it.

"Seriously..." He paused, sliding his hands in his pockets. "If you want to strictly be friends, I understand. Just be honest and tell me. Stop lying about it."

"I just don't think it will work."

"And why? At least give me a reason why?"

"Because..." She paused, sighing heavily. What excuse was she going to make up now? Without hurting his feelings. "I'm not ready." He held his head down, nodding in response. "I'm sorry, Forrest."

"No. It's...I understand." He took a few steps closer. "I get you're afraid. You're not ready for a relationship. And I won't force you. But before I go back to my life with Charlotte, at least let me show you how much I love you. You know you can be happy with me. I wouldn't hurt you." Her heart pounded erratically. She knew what was next. The way he leaned in as if he was going to kiss her. She didn't know what to do. Should she let him? Or should she stop it?

She didn't want to. So why was she even contemplating on stopping him?

"Forrest..." He placed the palm of his hand on her cheek while gazing into her eyes.

"I love you. Always have." She shut her eyes; his lips grazing hers ever so gently. She immediately felt chills and tingles all throughout her body. Her stomach turned inside out. She was so overwhelmed with bliss that it was beginning to make her sick.

She quickly pushed him away and rushed out of the room. He stood there in confusion. This would be her second time running
off
and he had no idea where she was going.

Sh
e
f
i
nally returned ten minutes later with this disgusted look on her face.

Forrest immediately stood to his feet when she entered the room. "Iris..." He watched her climb in bed, covering herself with the comforter. "Are you all right?"

"Yes. I'
m
f
i
ne. You should leave." Why was she always giving him the cold shoulder?

"Iris, I understand you want to be alone, but I should be the last person to receive this kind of treatment. I've always been there for you. I even kicked my brother's ass for harassing you. I wouldn't hurt you. I wouldn't let anyone hurt you. So...please stop treating me like the enemy." She laid there in tears. He was right. She was just trying to push him away. He didn't deserve it.

"I'm sorry. I just..." She sn
iffl
ed, slowly sitting up. "I don't know what to do. I can't give you what you want." She was beginning to realize that there was no other way of explaining to him why. Except for telling him the truth.

A decade earlier (June 23, 1999)

"Your daughter can live up to the age of sixty. Maybe even longer with the medication we have nowadays." The doctor spoke to Peggy in her
offi
ce. "She can have a normal life. Of course with protection. She can adopt and be happy." Iris sat on the chair with her head down. She knew it was a bunch of baloney. No one would want to be with her once they found out the truth.

No one.

"You think you know me. But you don't." Iris spoke to Forrest.

"That's impossible." He approached her, taking a seat on the bed. "Why don't you start being honest with me." She held her head down, debating on whether to continue. "What don't I know about you?" He asked, using the tip of his thumb to touch her cheek.

She shut her eyes, enjoying all of his compassion. She knew it would end abruptly. The second she told him the truth.

"I'm..." She hesitated. Just imagining his reaction made her terrified. She didn't want to lose him forever. But she knew that was the risk she had to take. If she didn't tell him, he would keep asking her why she refuse to be with him. "I'm sick." She spoke, meeting his gaze.

"You're sick?" She nodded yes. "How sick? Is it curable?" She shook her head no. The look in his eyes was d
iff
erent. He seemed a bit nervous.

"I was born with it." His heart skipped a beat.

"Born with what?" Just the thought of it made him edgy. "Cancer?" She shook her head no; her eyes forming with tears. He looked away, his hand sweeping over his hair. It was quiet all of a sudden. At first he wanted to know but now he was thinking very hard. Was it something he could handle? Did he need to know?

"What's wrong with you, Iris?" He asked, meeting her glossy gaze. "And tell me the truth. No more lies." She held her head down, a soft cry escaping her lips.

"I was born with HIV." His heart sunk in his chest. She was in tears at this point. And he hadn't said a word to her since she confessed. She was even afraid to look at him.

He stood up; his hand on his hip and his other in his hair. He couldn't be hearing correctly. "Are you serious?" He asked, looking back at her. She nodded yes; her face drenched in salty tears.

"My mother passed it along to me. She died afterwards. I never met her. The Hendersons adopted me right after. If it wasn't for them, I'd be dead right now." Forrest didn't know how to react. The first thing he wanted to do was cry. The second reaction was to scream at her. And the third was to comfort her.

"Why would you keep this from me?" She wept softly. "You didn't think I had a right to know?" He was obviously furious. But also heartbroken. "Iris, what am I supposed to do without you? Huh?" She looked up at him. He was on the verge of shedding a tear. "What the hell am I supposed to do?" She wasn't expecting this reaction from him.

She stood up, approaching him. "Forrest..." She attempted to hold him but he backed away.

"Don't..." He concealed a partial amount of his face as he broke down. "Iris...I can't believe you would keep something like this from me."

"I didn't tell you because I didn't think it was relevant."

"How can you THINK that?!" He snapped. "You're my best friend. I love you. Why would you think something like that? This is just...you were thinking about yourself. You were being selfish."

"Forrest, I didn't want you to worry. You were happy with Charlotte. I wasn't going to be with anyone. You were supposed to think that I died of old age. I can live to be sixty with this disease. As long as I continue to..."

"Just shut up, Iris. Shut the hell up." She watched a single tear roll down his cheek. "You don't know what the hell is gonna happen. All of these years...wasted. We could've been together. Instead, you'd rather keep something like this from me and let me think that you died of natural causes."

"Forrest, we couldn't have been together. I can't make you happy. I can't give you what you want with this disease. I couldn't pass it along to you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"So, that's all you see with us? You think the only way you can make me happy is with what's between your legs? Give me some fucking credit. I love you. The thought of you living alone crushes me. You deserved to be happy with this disease." She couldn't believe it. He still wanted to be with her? Even after he found out the truth?