PENNY (2 page)

Chapter two

Ten minutes went by and Iris and Forrest were sitting down eating. She only ordered a milkshake and apple pie that she took forever t
o
f
i
nish. "I don't know what's taking so long." He spoke, glancing at his wrist watch. "She told me ten minutes ago that she was on her way."

"Tr
affi
c, maybe." He began to text Charlotte with one hand; his other holding his beverage. She sat there watching him while sipping on her shake. Whenever they were alone, she couldn't help but take into consideration about confessing to him. But then she would think about the outcome. And it always stopped her.

"Are you in love..." He looked up at her after sending his girlfriend a text. "...with Charlotte?" A faint laugh escaped his lips.

"Uhhh I don't know." He answered, sipping on his cola. "I think it's too soon to tell."

"But you've been dating for a year. Ever since college." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Still too soon. I mean, don't get me wrong. I do have these moments where I think that she's the one. I jus
t
f
i
nd myself staring at her like a...man in love. She's funny. Smart. Oh and best of all, she's beautiful. She gets along with everyone in my family. Even you! And that's a plus. You're the only person I can trust, Iris." Her heart skipped a beat. The way his eyes gazed into hers while regurgitating those words. It felt d
iff
erent. "I just...I feel like there's something missing."

"Like what?"

"I don't know."

"The way you describe her...it's as if she's perfect for you." He kept her gaze. She had no idea how wrong she was. "I wouldn't be surprised if you asked her to marry you." He chuckled softly.

"I highly doubt that." She held her head down; her eyes glued to her milkshake as she twirled the straw in circles. He watched her remove the straw, licking the thick substance from it. She always did that. The one person he knew the most was her. She was who he belonged with. "What about you?" He broke the silence between them.

"What?" She asked, looking up at him.

"Why aren't you seeing anyone? You know what I've noticed? I've never seen you with anyone before. Since I've known you. Why is that?" She broke his gaze. Now she was beginning to feel down. She knew she could never be on that level with anyone. That was one reason why she got so teary eyed whenever she saw him kiss Charlotte. That and because she wanted to be with him.

"I'm just not ready."

"For what?" She didn't want to talk about it. She always became mute whenever they talked about this. "Please tell me why. You never give me an answer. You say the same thing all the time. I wanna know why you're not ready. What are you afraid of? What are you waiting for?"

The truth. She was just waiting to die. She didn't even know why she kept taking medications. All she had to do was stop and let the disease do the rest. But a part of her was afraid of leaving him. He probably would never be the same if she died on him.

She fought this disease because of Forrest.

"I have my reasons." He sat back, never taking his eyes
off
her. A part of him wasn't surprised to hear this response.

"Of course. Well, I won't force you to tell me." But she wanted to. "I'm going to give you my perspective on this." He spoke, leaning over the table while intertwining his fingers together. "I think you're keeping a secret. Something that prevents you from being happy. I don't know what that is. And thinking about it makes my heart hurt." She hadn't blinked once. She just sat there with glistening eyes. Eyes that were about to leak at any given moment. "I think you're afraid to get on that level with anyone because you think it will ruin your happiness. You think it will get in the way." She blinked her eyes, holding her head down to preclude from staring into his. "You know you can talk to me about anything. I'm your best friend. I've always been here for you. Haven't I?"

"I..." She kept her head down, too nervous to keep looking into his eyes. It only made her even more guilty. She'd been friends with him for years and she never told him her secret.

"Penny, why won't you date?" Why was he so interested in knowing? That was only because he needed to know for himself. He was always into her.

"I just..." She hesitated, slowly looking up to meet his gaze. The two sat there staring into one anothers eyes. She was just seconds away from spilling it out when a voice interrupted. Forrest quickly looked up to see his girlfriend approaching the table.

"So sorry I'm late." Charlotte kissed him on the lips before taking a seat next to him. She looked over at Iris, flashing her a smile. "Hey, Iris."

"Hey." Charlotte's eyes wandered
off
to her red nail polish.

"Is that blood red? I love the shade."

"Ummm, yeah. I think." She wore mood nail polish. Red meant, Fear. She was nervous and it was showing in her nail polish. "I should go." Forrest watched her stand up.

"You sure? You haven't even finished your food."

"Yes. I have to study any way for the exam tomorrow." She lied, quickly collecting her food.

"Iris, there's no class tomorrow." He caught her in a lie. "What's wrong? You're running
off
like you're trying to hide from someone." Charlotte hated when he tried forcing her to stay.

"I'm not running away from anything. I'm just..."

Charlotte squeezed his arm with this forced smile on her face. "You heard her. She's tired." Forrest put his gaze on his girlfriend. "Just let her go." Iris left the restaurant, quickly hopping in her car and driving away.

She burst into tears immediately on her way down the road. She was balling up so badly, that she had to literally pull
off
on the side of the road. She leaned over, resting her forehead on the steering wheel.

"Whyyyy?" She wept. "Why me?"

Ten years earlier (May 1, 1999)

Iris peered out of the living room window to see the Hunter boys playing outside. She wanted to go out and join them but she knew the results. Mason would've teased her. And Forrest would've joined in just to look cool.

"Iris, you ready? We have that doctor's appointment." Her mother informed. She hated going to the doctor. Every time, the doctor would end up drawing some blood. She hated being picked and prodded on.

Present day (March 13, 2009)

Iris hovered over the toilet stool, heaving up her dinner. She puked at least three times, emptying out her stomach. Food wasn't all that appealing to her. Waking up feeling nauseous was a very bad feeling. It happened at least on a weekly basis. Before, it would happen monthly. Maybe she was becoming immune to the medications.

An hour later

"I think I need to try something else. It's not as potent as before." Iris spoke to her doctor over the phone in the school's restroom. That was where she puked again. "Yes. Okay. I'll be in soon. Thanks." She stepped out of the booth, automatically focusing in on a girl standing in front of the sink staring at herself in the mirror while applying lipstick. She stood a few spots away from her to wash her hands.

"Something wrong with you?" The girl asked.

"What?" She tossed her lipstick in her make-up back, slowly turning to face her.

"You're always puking." How would she have known? "Fifth grade. Miss Bryant's class." Her eyes lit up. "Still skinny. Are you sick or something?"

"N...no." She lied.

"Pregnant?" She shook her head no. "Then what? Why do you always look like you're dying? You barely have any color in your cheeks. You should wear make-up. It'll help." She watched her walk by and towards the exit. She didn't recognize her. But she knew her from fifth grade. Just who was that girl?

Chapter three

Later that afternoon

Iris found herself in bed after visiting the doctor for a new prescription.

Epivir was the name. It had a lot of side
eff
ects just like any other medication would. And she wasn't to start on it until the following day.

A knock on her door woke her out of the trance. She slowly sat up as she watched the door creep open. Forrest peered inside. "Iris..." He stepped inside the room.

"Hi." He shut the door, making his way towards her.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." She watched him halt at the foot of the bed. "You?" He nodded in response.

"Can't complain." She noticed a bag in his hand. "My mom made beef stew. I thought I could bring you some." He sat the bag on the foot of the bed.

"Forrest..." She began, fiddling with her fingers habitually. "I'm sorry about yesterday. You were right. I was running away from something."

He walked over to where she was. "What's wrong?" She could feel her eyes burning with tears. She couldn't keep it from him anymore. She needed to tell him.

"I..." She began, looking up at him. He seemed concerned. She could see it in his eyes. And she couldn't stop thinking about his reaction. How devastated he would be once he found out. Was she willing to put that burden on him? She knew she had to tell him eventually. It was only fair. But she couldn't just yet. "I'm in love with you." It was either confessing about the disease or her feelings for him. The disease was worse.

"What?" His hear
t
f
l
uttered.

"I..." She couldn't believe she said it. And now she was regretting it. Maybe she should've confessed about the HI
V
f
i
rst. "I can't believe I just said that." She mumbled.

"Iris..." She quickly looked up to meet his gaze. "Iris, are you..." He was having a hard time believing her. "Are you serious? You're in love with me?" She nodded meekly.

"I've always been and I...I wanted to tell you but..." She was in tears again.

"But what? Why would you not trust me enough to tell me that?" She was confused. For one, he seemed disappointed. This wasn't the reaction she was hoping for. She thought he would be disgusted.

"I couldn't." She covered her mouth, sobbing faintly.

"Iris..." He took a seat on the bed next to her. "I get it. You probably see me as a brother. I mean, we've known each other since elementary." She shook her head in disagreement.

"It's not that." She sn
iffl
ed.

"Then what is it?" She wiped at her damp eyes. "Penny, talk to me. Please stop leaving me in the dark. Talk to me." She quickly wrapped her arms around him, weeping on his shoulder. This took him by surprise. He'd never seen her this upset before. Even during the years of being teased.

"Iris..." He hesitantly wrapped his arms around her. "Iris, what is it? You're scaring me."

"I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting." He was confused. She wasn't making any sense.

"Fighting what?" She pulled back. He watched her dash towards the bedroom door. She ran out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom. The second she entered the room, she lifted the toilet, puking for the thousandth time. But there was nothing to heave up.

When she returned to the bedroom, Forrest was standing by her bed. She had her hand on her stomach. It hurt from throwing up so often. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." He watched her climb back in bed. She rested comfortably on her side.

"Iris, we should talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes there is." He took a seat on the bed. "You just told me you're in love with me. How long have you been feeling like this?"

"Does it really matter, Forrest?" She asked while sitting up. "You're seeing someone. Did you forget? She's smart. Funny. Beautiful..."

"She's not as beautiful as you." She quickly met his gaze. She was having a hard time believing him. For one, she didn't think he would feel the same. Or maybe he was taking pity on her.

"You should go, Forrest."

"No." She met his stern gaze. "I'm not running away from this. You shouldn't either."