Perfect Alignment (32 page)

Emma made a face making it clear she wasn’t sure she agreed, but neither was she going to argue.

“It’s like that, I think. For him, maybe it’s like that. What if you had a shot, at a young age. It wasn’t so bad, but you hated it, detested it, so of course, the thought of another became this terrible anticipation and dread. But then, someone tells you, shows you, that no matter how bad you thought that first shot was, there was another one in store for you and it would be ten times worse. Maybe fifty times.”

Emma let that sink in without comment for a few minutes. The she said quietly, “I gave up on him. Didn’t fight for him.”

“You told him you love him. You told me you love him.”

“In some ways, I’ve shown him. But I need to do better. I need to not only show him that I love him, but that he loves me too, and that it’s a good thing, for both of us.”

“Yes, for both of you. You need to make sure he understands, really believes, that having him in your life is a good thing for you. Not just the other way around.”

“He doesn’t think he’s good enough for me,” she said, understanding dawning.

“He doesn’t think he can give you what he’s never had.”

She nodded, and poured the last of the wine into their two glasses.

Her mother began to speak, but was interrupted by a quiet knock on the door. Checking her watch as she rose, Emma saw that it was just after eleven. Way too late for anyone to be at the door. In the old days, that wouldn’t have made her hesitate to open the door, but since knowing Drew, she was more cautious of safety. She left the light in in the living room off, easily making her way through to the door. The porch light was always on, set to a sensor that turned it on at dusk and off at dawn, so when she looked through the peephole, she knew she’d be able to see. But she never would have expected to see Drew. Her shock was so complete that she just stood there staring for a whole minute, until Drew raised his hand and knocked again, this time a little louder.

She threw the door open and jumped into his arms without hesitation. He staggered back but caught her, his arms tight around her, his voice in her ear. “Oh baby, is it your dad?”

It felt like so much had happened since she’d left the voicemail for Drew, she forgot that he wasn’t up-to-date. Without letting him go, she shook her head. “No. No, he’s going to be fine. I was so scared, but by the time I landed, they knew he would be fine. It wasn’t a heart attack, he’s getting treatment and they should be releasing him tomorrow.”

He squeezed her even more tightly. “I’m so glad to hear that, Emma. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you were scared.”

She pulled back, just a little, so she could see his face. “That’s my fault, not yours. I didn’t ask you. I’m so sorry, Drew. I can’t even believe I left that voicemail. I’d like to say I was out of my head, but the truth is I let my fears and doubts get the better of me, and I gave up on you, on us, when I shouldn’t have.”

“No, baby,” he interrupted, causing her heart to seize. “It wasn’t your fault. It was mine. You didn’t ask me, because you didn’t trust me to be there. And you didn’t trust me to be there because I haven’t given you reason to. All my fault.”

The sound of her mother clearing her throat behind her finally had her pulling free of Drew’s arms and stepping back. She blushed.

“Um. Mom, this is Drew. Drew, my mother Tina.”

“Mrs. Lee, I’m sorry to intrude on your doorstep so late, but I’m glad to hear your husband is going to be all right.”

“Thank you, Drew. Come inside. I hope you brought a bag? It’s late, why don’t you kids get settled into Emma’s room and we’ll talk in the morning.”

Emma stood there speechless while Drew started to say that wasn’t necessary, but her mother shooed him to his rental car to get his bag, ushered them inside and upstairs and assured Drew that Emma could point him to the clean towels in the morning. Her mother went into her bedroom and was closing the door when she stuck her head out.

“Don’t worry, I’m getting old, my hearing isn’t so good anymore.”

“Mom!” Emma half gasped, half shouted, but the door was already closed.

She looked at Drew and he was blinking at her in either astonishment or confusion. Since she was experiencing both, she couldn’t blame him. She just ushered him into her childhood bedroom, which, thankfully, was at the other end of the hall from her parents. He put his bag down next to the bed and stared at her. The confusion slowly drifted off his face, replaced by uncertainty.

“Emma, I don’t have to stay. I don’t expect you to trust me right away, after what I’ve put you through.”

Her heart swelled and she launched herself at him.

Drew caught Emma, again. And knew that nothing would ever feel as amazing as knowing that she loved him, despite the way he’d acted. He gently pushed her back, just enough that he could cup her face in his hands. What he saw there nearly knocked his legs out from under him. She loved him. And she wasn’t afraid to show it. It was all there, written across her face. He worried that some of it was due to the emotional upheaval of her father’s illness. That was okay. He’d be working hard, from now on, to show her that her love for him was deserved.

Taking a slow breath, he pulled back a little farther. Gave her the look. Her body stilled in that indefinable way and her attention on him intensified as she waited to see what he would do. What he would ask of her. He lifted a finger to her lips to indicate she should be silent. She kissed his finger and dropped her hands to her sides.

He picked them up, rubbing his thumb along her hand, speaking softly, knowing she would work to hear his words. “I love your hands. Your fingers. Not just when they’re on me, which is always wonderful.” He kicked his bag out of their way and moved them closer to the bed as he continued to speak. “But even when you’re not naked, your hands are beautiful. Handing me a coffee cup, full of whatever fancy thing you’ve made for me, holding a menu. My favorite, though, is when you hold your hair back. Sliding your fingers in at your temple to rest your hand against the side of your face and keep your hair clear.”

He reached behind her to pull back the covers on the bed, but kept his gaze on her face, her reaction. Oh yeah, that was the soft look, with an awful lot of wonder in it for someone with healthy self-esteem. A reminder that no matter how much a woman was confident in herself, she still liked to hear her man tell her she was beautiful. At least his woman did.

“That’s another thing. I love your hair. So silky and shiny like one of those ridiculous shampoo commercials.” He indulged himself by sliding a strand through his fingers, then stepped quickly away to turn on the bedside lamp and turn off the main light switch. From the corner of his eye he saw her mirroring his action as if she’d never felt her own hair before. She dropped her hand when he came back in front of her.

“Then there’s your eyes. Amazing, your eyes. The color goes from dark gold to light brown, depending on the light, but also your mood. And your arousal. Oh yeah, I really, really like to watch your eyes get brighter and brighter, like they are right now. Your hair was the first thing I noticed about you, but your eyes, I think they were the thing that really made me want to take the risk of being with you.”

She stared at him, didn’t try to say anything, didn’t try to move, completely in his thrall. Intoxicating. He put his fingers at the hem of her sweater, pushed it up by running his hands along her sides until the last possible moment before pulling it over her head. He tossed it aside, placed his hands on her shoulders, drew them down to cup her breasts.

“Your skin. I suppose someone could come up with the right color to describe it, but not me. I just know it makes me hungry. Ravenous.” He leaned down to bite gently into her shoulder and she drew in her breath sharply but silently. “And what that skin covers,” he said, giving her breasts a fairly hard squeeze. “That is something to give thanks for.”

He unbuttoned her jeans, slid them down over her butt, giving the globes a long, firm squeeze as well. Urging her back to sit on the bed, he dropped to his knees and worked on her boots.

“So, thank you, Emma. For giving me you.” He pulled her jeans off and looked up in time to see a tear spill from one eye, then the other. It took far less time to shuck his own clothes and slide them into bed, putting a condom on without seeming to rush. But he needed her. Needed her to know how much he needed her. “Because everything about you, everything that you are, is amazing to me.”

He got on top of her, her body welcoming him, wrapping around him, accepting him. “I love all those parts of you and too many more to mention right now.” He positioned himself, slid into her, knowing without having to check that she would be ready for him. His eyes were steady on hers, though hers were glassy with tears, when he was fully seated inside her. “I love you, Emma Lee. I love everything about you.” Her whole body clenched around him, her fingers digging into his back, her ankles hooked around his.

“I love you, too,” she gasped.

He smiled as she came around him. “I know.”

She laughed and he came to the sound of that sweet music.

When they both had their breath back, he rested his forehead against hers. “I’m going to make it worth your while to keep on loving me, Emma.”

She smiled up at him. “I know.”

****

They stayed in California for two more days. Her Dad was even able to take her and Drew fishing. She loved how accepting her parents were of Drew. They didn’t hesitate to welcome him and begin to show him what it meant to be part of a loving family.

On the flight home, Drew told her that he’d looked at some postings for jobs in California. The fact that he was willing to do so, and that he had before her attempt at breaking up with him, had her crying into his shoulder on the flight. But only for a moment. She tried to tell him she was willing to move, too, but he insisted it was better the other way around.

By the time they got home, she was exhausted, so he took her to her apartment and they stayed the night there so she could get to class the next morning. It took a lot of work to catch up from her few days away, and then she launched into finals. The great thing about Drew’s plan to look was that there was no hurry for her to get back. She could stay with him while he searched, and they could go out to California together. Taryn had said she could keep working at Grounded as long as she wanted to.

He went to her graduation and his pride was as strong, if not stronger than, that of her parents’. Taryn cried, knowing it meant Emma would be leaving soon, but her friend was so happy for her that she insisted it just meant she’d have to convince the guys to take vacations to California once in a while.

Emma agreed and said that she and Drew would have to come out for the occasional winter fix, as well. Drew said Toby was already making plans for places he wanted to visit in Northern California. Which got Emma thinking of some threesome plans of her own, which she described to Drew to very good effect one night.

A week after graduation, when her parents had left and she’d emptied her apartment out and moved into Drew’s house, he told her he had a couple of solid leads on the job front. She knew he was anxious to get started in their new life, though she would miss the house where they’d fallen in love. And she still wasn’t convinced it was fair that he was giving up everything and she was getting everything she wanted.

After dinner, he got the intense expression that she knew meant good things were in store for her. She got that little tingle and felt her body going still in anticipation of what he’d ask of her.

“Will you let me do something different? It might sound strange, but I want to push you, push your boundaries. Now that you really are mine.”

She smiled. “You don’t think what we’ve been doing has been pushing my boundaries?”

He cupped her face in his hands. “Not so much. And I’m not going to push hard. Just try something new. What I want to do, it’s not meant to scare you. It’s meant to show you how much you trust me, how much I trust you. It’s not something I would ever do without being at this level of trust.” He kissed her nose. “Does that make sense?”

She sighed. “I’m not really sure, to be honest. But it’s obviously important to you, so, okay.”

He gave her a soft kiss. “I want you to take a shower. Put your hair back, I don’t want it in my way tonight. Make yourself ready for me. No clothes, though. Okay?”

“Yes, Sir.”

One more kiss, and he stepped back.

She showered, brushed her teeth and braided her hair. It was easier now than it ever had been before, getting into the proper headspace for a scene. Before, she’d never played with one person long enough to reach this level of trust. She’d spend too much time during preparation wondering about the other player, or what they were going to do, to fully immerse herself.

She didn’t need to do that now. She didn’t need to give any thought to what was going to happen, other than a mild anxiousness about what he had in store for her. But that just made it easier, because even with the anticipation, there was the full knowledge that it would be okay, that it would be good, because it was Drew. She walked into the bedroom and found it empty so she pulled on a robe and headed into the living room.

For a change, he didn’t seem to have heard her coming. From her angle she could see his face as he sat on the couch, reading something on his laptop. There was a gym bag on the floor next to him. The same one he’d brought to the hotel room in Boston. She eyed it, unsure of what it meant, then decided it didn’t really matter. Instead she moved her attention to his face.

Had she ever noticed how long his nose was for his face? It had a little bump on the ridge and she wondered if it was natural, or if he’d broken it at some point. His ears were close to his head at the top, but the bottoms stuck out a bit and the lobes were detached. She remembered learning that was a genetic trait in high school biology. Her lobes were detached, too, so chances were good if they had children…