Perfect Contradiction (14 page)

“Jen, calm down,” Hunter said, which, of course, only infuriated me all the more.

Calm down
. As if.

“Hunter Wright, you’re lucky I didn’t clunk you over the head with something hard. Of all the idiotic, boneheaded ideas,” I yelled. I slammed a pan down on the stove, adding a pad of butter and a little oil.

“What are you doing?” Hunter asked as he paced back and forth in the kitchen behind me.

“What does it look like I’m doin’?” I asked sharply. “I’m making breakfast. I’m hungry. And I’m angry. And when I’m angry, I cook, okay?” I asked, miffed.

“Okay,” Hunter said, his hands raised in surrender.

“You’d know that if you
really
knew me at all,” I shot out.

“I do know you,” Hunter countered. “I know that I love you. I know you love me, and I know you’re havin’ my baby.”

I groaned and cracked several eggs into the sizzling pan. “That’s not enough,” I answered, popping bread into the toaster.

“Of course it is and once were married, you’ll see how right I was,” he offered up.

Oh, wrong thing to say buddy
, I thought. I swung around with my spatula in my hand and pointed it at him.

“You think for one second that’s enough and that I’m actually gonna marry your sorry behind just because
you love me
and
I love you
and
we’re havin’ a baby
, then you’ve got cotton between your ears, Hunter Wright!” I shouted. Hunter looked more confused than ever, and I had to turn around and flip the eggs before I threw my spatula at him. I’d never been angrier at him than I was right then. Hurt? Yes. Angry? Not even close.

“Sweetheart, once you calm down, you’ll see that what I’m sayin’ is right,” Hunter said with a nod of his head. “Once your pregnancy hormones stop making you crazy and you get some food in you, you’ll realize what I’m telling you is what has to happen.”

“Hunter, I swear on all that is holy, if you don’t stop your yammerin’ right this instant and sit down, you’re gonna regret ever getting’ out of bed this morning,” I promised through clenched teeth.

Hunter wisely decided to do as I suggested. I let my thoughts and emotions swim around my head as I continued making breakfast. I knew Hunter would try something like this, and yet it still took me by surprise. Surprise that any man in his right mind would propose like he had. Hunter was about to get a dose of reality. Even if I wanted to marry him, even if I loved him with all my heart, even if he felt the same way about me, marriage wasn’t the answer to all our problems. And I refused to use marriage like a big ‘ole Band-Aid to cover up the ugly problems and the old wounds that still festered.

A few minutes later, I sat a plate of eggs, corned beef hash, and toast, along with a glass of orange juice, in front of Hunter. I sat down across from him with my own plate and glass. Hunter clenched his jaw in frustration when he realized I wasn’t going to talk just then. I couldn’t. Not yet. I had to let myself cool down a bit, and I was starvin’. Hunter shook his head and began eating too.

Once we were both done, I got up to clean off the table and do the dishes. Hunter stood with a sound of frustration and took the plates from my hands. I cleaned off the table as he did the dishes in silence. I grabbed two saucers, served some fresh apple cobbler onto them, and headed into the living room. Hunter followed, his eyes telling me he was clearly not pleased with being put off. We both ate in the living room where the Christmas tree sat. It
was
Christmas morning after all.

“I’m not going to marry you, Hunter,” I said calmly a few minutes later.

But—” Hunter began.

I cut him off. “Almost everything you said is right,” I said. “I do love you, and I believe you love me too. And we are having a baby together.” I took his hand and placed it on my stomach.

“Then what’s the problem?” he asked in confusion.

“First of all, did you even wonder why I decided not to tell you about the baby straight out?” I asked. Hunter frowned. “It wasn’t because I thought you wouldn’t be a good daddy or that you wouldn’t want anything to do with our baby,” I assured him.

“Then why?” he asked.

“Because you hurt me, Hunter,” I said truthfully. “You hurt me more deeply than you know. When you left without saying a word right when I was at my lowest and most terrifying point in life, I was shattered. I felt abandoned and alone.”

Hunter flinched away from my words.

“I don’t even know why you did it,” I confessed. “But then I found out I was pregnant, and suddenly you were in my life again at the exact moment everything had been turned upside down. And the only thing I could think was that I never wanted the baby to feel alone. To feel unwanted if things got tough. I didn’t want to be left to face life’s most difficult moments alone when I counted on you. I wasn’t sure if whatever caused you to bolt could happen again after the baby came, and I didn’t want to take the chance that it would devastate our baby like it had me.” I swallowed and looked up into Hunter’s eyes. He looked pained, sick even, but he needed to hear all the truth. He needed to understand everything.

“We don’t know everything about each other, Hunter. And I’m not sayin’ we have to, but we
do
need to get to know each other a bit more before we even talk about something as important as marriage,” I suggested softly.

Hunter was very quiet, letting everything I said soak in. After a few minutes, he sat back and met my gaze. “Alison Carter,” he said softly.

I scrunched up my forehead. Alison Carter sound familiar somehow, but I wasn’t sure why or why Hunter was mentioning her right then. Hunter ran a hand over his face, clearly worn out.

“Her brother, Logan, and I were friends. Alison was a year younger than us and a
girl
, but that didn’t keep her from hanging out with us any chance she got. She hated everything girls were into, and so she didn’t fit in. She enjoyed boy stuff way too much,” he said with a sad smile. “Our families got together often to cook out, go swimming, you know, the usual stuff. Soon, I realized I’d fallen in love with Alison. My first real, honest-to-God crush.”

I swallowed slowly and relaxed beneath Hunter’s hand as he rubbed it back and forth gently in soothing circles. “How old were you?” I asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. I guess about sixteen. Still a boy, but growing into a man,” he answered sheepishly.

“What happened?” I asked softly.

“One summer, we were all hanging out at the river. Most of our family was there barbequing. We were all having a good time, laughing and listening to music. Several of us kids were out in the water. I was watching Alison’s brother showin’ off on the bank, getting’ ready to jump in, when I turned to Alison, who had been swimming close to me.” Hunter swallowed. “I don’t even remember what it was I was going to say… but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t there. I called out her name, looked all around, and then I began to panic. I screamed for her, hollered for help. I dove under the water looking for her until I could barely breathe myself. I couldn’t find her anywhere. None of us could. My dad and Daniel had to drag me out of the water.”

I put a hand to my mouth, horrified for him, for what he’d gone through.

“They found her body down river that evening. Something about her having a seizure; some kind of medical condition caused it that they never even knew she had,” Hunter murmured. “I was never the same after that,” he confessed.

I lifted the edge of the arm of his T-shirt, revealing the only tattoo he had. A rose being squeezed by thorns with drops of blood dripping down. The initial A.C. and H. W. were on either side. Hunter Wright and Alison Carter.

“I got that after I turned eighteen, about nineteen months after Alison died,” Hunter said.

“I’m sorry, Hunter,” I whispered. Hunter sat back once again and pulled me with him. I let my head fall on his chest. I remembered hearing about the drowning now that Hunter brought it up. It happened only a county over, and I was pretty sure my momma had sent flowers and food to the family. I’d had no idea Hunter had known,
had loved
, the girl who died.

“It’s not an excuse,” Hunter promised. “But, that’s why I left. I got scared. Plain and simple. I was terrified I’d lose the only woman I’d ever truly loved. That history was bound to repeat itself. I’m sorry for that, Jen.”

“It’s okay, Hunter. I get it, I do. But you see now what I mean, right?” I asked. “About us not knowing all that much about each other? And that rushing into marriage, no matter how much we love each other, no matter how much I want to, could be disastrous?”

Hunter pulled me closer and sighed deeply. “I know I don’t want to hurt this baby and that I want to be a part of yours and the baby’s life in whatever capacity I can,” he answered slowly. “Don’t get me wrong, I plan to marry you, Jen, so you might as well just get used to the idea, because I plan to work very hard from here on out to make you see just how good we will be together.”

I couldn’t help myself. I was grinning. “I can live with that,” I answered softly.

“So, what happens now?” Hunter asked.

I melted into him, suddenly tired from staying up all night worrying about that stupid present. “Now we have a baby,” I answered easily.

“And what happens between us?” Hunter murmured as he kissed the top of my head. “Where do we go from here, since everything is all out of order?”

Man, was he ever right about that. I thought for a moment. “Well, there’s a nice little movie theater downtown,” I said with a small smile. “I hear the owner may be able to hook us up with some free tickets and all the boxes of
Whoppers
this pregnant girl can eat. I also heard it’s a good spot for first dates and makin’ out.” I peeked up into Hunter’s face.

He looked half amused and half surprised. “Jennifer Collins, mother of my unborn child, are you asking me out on a date?”

I grinned impishly. “Yes, I think I am,” I answered with a laugh.

Hunter watched me for a while before answering. “I think a date would be perfect,” he answered softly. He nuzzled my ear, making me squirm and giggle. “Especially the making out part,” he murmured.

I swatted his chest.

The curtains in the living room were pulled back, revealing the snow-covered front yard. We sat there watching the snow as it fell, blanketing the world outside in a fresh layer of beauty. It reminded me of new beginnings and of fresh starts. Something Hunter and I were lucky enough to have together.

“Merry Christmas, Hunter,” I said.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

“So, dating, huh?” Beth mentioned.

“Yup. Dating.”

“This is good, right?” Beth asked, eyeing me over the apples I’d tasked her to core and peel.

“I think so,” I agreed. “Time to really get to know each other before the baby gets here and see if we can work everything out together.

“Makes sense,” she said. “And Hunter was good with the idea?”

I snorted as I continued peeling my own pile of apples. “Once I got it through his thick skull that I wouldn’t be marrying him, yeah, he was good with it.”

Beth’s eyes were round. “He asked you to marry him?”

“Demanded, more like it. Me in my pajamas, him just back in town and speaking to me after months, and he decided marriage was the answer,” I huffed, peeling the apple in my hand a little too harshly.

“Men can be such knuckleheads sometimes,” Beth muttered.

“Preachin’ to the choir,” I said with a sigh.

“But everything is good between you guys now, right?” Beth prodded.

I smiled. “It’s very good,” I confided.

“I’m so glad, Jen,” Beth said.

“Yeah, he went home on Christmas afternoon and told his family, except for Matt, of course,” I said. Matt had been home with Beth, and Beth had let him in on the family gossip.

Beth was grinning. “Matt was so shocked that he didn’t say anything for an hour,” Beth said with a shake of her head. “I have no idea if the biggest shock was that you were pregnant by his baby brother or that he was old enough to be an uncle.” Beth and I both laughed.

“Hunter said his father had the same reaction. He said Daniel just laughed and congratulated him, Mrs. Wright cried, and his father was just shocked he was going to be called grandpa soon,” I said with a chuckle. “Of course, Mrs. Wright knew even before Hunter. I swear I will never try to keep something from that woman again.”

Beth clucked her tongue. “A fruitless endeavor. Mrs. Wright is a sharp woman. She had to be while raising three boys… She’s the only woman in that family.” Beth and I both shuddered.

“I’m just glad everything is out in the open now.” I sat my peeler down and cut few pieces of apple to nibble on. “It took entirely too much energy keeping all those secrets.” Beth swiped a few pieces of apple for herself.

“And what about Hunter’s job with the company?” Beth asked.

“He’s going to keep running it in St. Louis for now. But he’s going to cut back on trips until the baby is born, and then try to work mostly from their home office here and commute when he needs to.” I shrugged. Hunter said he hated the traveling and was glad he was going to have an excuse to work more closely to home. He was a homebody. He’d only agreed to the traveling because he thought we were over.

“And the business here seems to be doing great,” Beth said with a wide smile.

“It’s doing real good. The inn is super slow right now, but that’s to be expected. The bakery is doing enough to make up for it.”

“You seem happy with how everything has turned out,” Beth said softly.

I smiled. “I am. I guess I should be all stressed out or freaked out or whatever, but I think that time has passed. I feel good about where I am right now and where mine and Hunter’s relationship is,” I answered with a shrug. “That will probably change just as soon as I’m headed into the delivery room.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll remind you of this very moment when you said you were all calm and whatnot,” she said.

I laughed and nodded my head. “And you would too.”

“So, when will you be seeing Hunter again?” she asked.

“He’s going to be in St. Louis for a day or two, and then we’re going to go out for lunch and do some shopping for the baby together this weekend.”

“Wow. He must
really
love you if he’s letting you drag him out shopping,” Beth said with a romantic sigh and a dramatic flutter of her lashes. I rolled my eyes and tossed an apple peel at her.

“And after that?” she asked.

“And after that, we’ll see,” I said. “Though I happen to know Hunter has a pair of Super Bowl tickets burning a hole in his pocket, so we might take an overnight trip for that.”

Beth raised a brow. “Ooh la la,” she murmured.

I rolled my eyes at her again. “I don’t want to rush this. I want us both to really get to know each other and to realize what we’re getting into here,” I explained. “And I never want to be proposed to again in my pajamas, looking like a tired, beached whale all because that is what we think is expected. I want it to be right.”

Beth blinked a few times and then turned her face back to her job. “I should kick Hunter’s rear end
for
you for that messed up proposal,” Beth muttered darkly.

“Awe, don’t go givin’ him a hard time. He was dealing with everything the best way he knew how,” I said. “And I gotta say… he took a lot in in a short amount of time and handled it pretty well. I could’ve done without the impromptu proposal, but it could’ve been worse.”

“That’s very true,” Beth agreed. “Still, I thought the guy had more game than that.”

I laughed. “Well, he loves me, I love him, and we’re both dedicated to being there for the baby,” I said. “What more can I ask for?”

“What more could any of us ask for?” Beth said with a small smile.

I started chopping the apples for hand pies and apple crumble.

It was a beautiful day for baking.