Lost

Lost

An Affliction Novel

Book I

Christina Draper

This book is a
work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the
product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance
to actual events, business establishments, locales, or persons, living or dead,
is coincidental.

Copyright
© 2013 by Christina Draper
All rights reserved.
In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976,
the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without
the permission of the author constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the
author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book
(other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained
from the author.

For questions
and comments about the quality of this book, please contact the author at
[email protected].

Edited by Roy
Draper
Cover Design and Author Photo © 2013 by Roy Draper

Original
draft completed June 2, 2013
Original publication
October 1, 2013
Updated October 14, 2013

None of us knew that the next day would
bring hell right to our door.

“WHAT?” She answered the phone with a
snap.

“I’ve been
calling you for two days. Answer your fucking phone.” The voice on the other
end said this with more than a touch of sarcasm.

“I’m sorry.
I’ve been busy.” That wasn’t really true, but he didn’t need to know that.
“What can I do for you?”

“He’s dead.” He
didn’t say who was dead. He didn’t need to.

“How?” It was a
simple question.

“Hit by a car.
It was bad. Check your email. I’m sending you a link to the story.”

She opened her
email and found the one he sent. She clicked the included link.

“Beloved Husband and Father Dies in Hit
and Run Accident”

“Thank you.”
And she hung up the phone. No good-bye. No pressing for additional information.
She scanned the article. And then she saw a picture with a caption.

“Brian Klevan is survived by his wife,
Julie, and their five children.”

She seized on
that one word. That one fucking word.

She picked up
the monitor and threw it across the room. The keyboard soon followed.

“That bitch!”
She brought her hands down on the flimsy wooden desk, and it split in two. The
coffee table didn’t fare any better.

Out of the
corner of her eye, she saw a picture that had spilled out of the coffee table.

At one time it
was a beautiful picture. A man, a woman, and five children on the beach. All
smiling at the camera. It once showed a beautiful mother with a curly-haired,
little girl in her arms. A handsome father stood next to her with an identical,
curly-haired little girl. In front of the woman a handsome young man kneeled in
the sand, and next to him another handsome boy, just a bit older, kneeled as
well. And next to the father was an older boy—tall, handsome, and broad-shouldered.

Yes, at one
time it was a beautiful picture. An advertisement for gorgeous families
everywhere. But not anymore.

Now, the faces
of the mother and the two little girls had been ripped out. The two younger
boys had vicious
X
’s where their smiles used to be. Only the father and
the oldest boy remained, and it was those faces she focused on.

Her breathing
was ragged, and her eyes took on a glassy, lost look, but still she focused on
that once beautiful photo.

“I’m coming.”

“Mom? Do you need anything?”

I shook the
cobwebs from my mind and turned to look at the young man that had just walked
into my bedroom. I drew in a sharp breath.

“Brian?” Wait.
Did I say that out loud? It wasn’t Brian. It couldn’t be Brian.

“Mom?” He
walked over to the window and put his arm on my shoulder.

I looked up
into his turquoise eyes. Such pretty eyes, just like his father. I refused to
cry on his shoulders. He was 19 and was hurting too. I stood up, hugging him
tightly.

“Oh, Sam.
Honey, hi,” I stuttered. “I’m okay, honey. I’m okay. Just thinking.”

“Mom, I know
you’re tired. I can hear you at night, and I hate to bring this up, but I need
to make a decision about school.”

School! 6
months ago, Brian and I had been so excited. Our oldest, Sam, had been accepted
to Duke! Duke! And it was time for Sam’s first semester. I think Brian was just
excited about the potential basketball tickets. Brian and Sam drove down to
North Carolina, just the two of them, van packed with a sampling of Sam’s
belongings and school supplies, and they had all kinds of crazy things planned.
Tattoos, eating challenges, camping. I got regular texts and updates from their
trip down and had laughed at each one.

When Brian got
home, the kids and I laughed at his stories. Carey and Jimmy, our two younger
boys, were thrilled with Dad’s new tattoo. Personally, I thought it was kind of
dorky. He and Sam both got a little devil. A blue devil. The Duke mascot. I
found this to be strange since Brian and I went to the University of Virginia.
Despite being giddy that Brian was home, I still missed Sam.

Sam wasn’t mine
by blood, but my heart ignored that. Sam was Brian’s son from a previous
relationship. Hell, Brian was only 20, a sophomore at UVA, when Sam was born,
but the moment he held that little boy, he was smitten. The same couldn’t be
said for Sam’s biological mother. She left before Sam was even released from
the hospital! Brian was suddenly a single parent. He stepped up, worked hard,
and his parents helped him as much as they could.

We met our junior
year of college. Brian often brought Sam to the campus daycare where I worked,
and I adored that little boy, and soon I adored his father. We were married
shortly after graduation, and I stopped working about two years later. We just
decided that I would stay home with the kids. I loved being a social worker,
loved the idea that I could make a difference in someone’s life, that I could
help someone. However, when I got pregnant with Carey, it just became too much.
So I quit working and made it my job to create a home for our family. Brian
continued to bust his butt for us. He was great at what he did, and before we
knew it, his construction business took off. He was never afraid to get his
hands dirty, he was honest, and despite the housing crunch, he always had
steady work. Before we knew it, Jimmy came along, and then the twins - Jessica,
or Jessie to most, and Maggie. We had a good life, and then the bottom dropped
out.

3 months earlier

“JULIE!” Brian bellowed. There just
wasn’t another word for it. He was loud, full of life.

“I’m here.” I
came out of the kitchen, drying my hands on a rag. “God you’re loud. What’s
going on?” There was no animosity in my voice, and I squealed as he whipped me
off my feet and spun me around.

“I can’t
believe you’ve had four kids, woman.” He brushed my hair out of my eyes, and I
savored the feel of his hand on my face. “Damn, you’re beautiful.”

I wound my arms
around his neck and pulled him down to me. “Oh, really? Show me,” I invited.

He wiggled his
eyebrows at me and kissed my neck as I laughed.

“Can I get in a
quick run?” He asked as he set me down.

“You didn’t go
to the gym during lunch? I would have waited for you!”

“No. Meeting.
Looks like someone finally rented out that old grocery store on Landmark, and I
met with the new guys today to talk renovation. Meeting ran a bit longer than
expected.”

“Oh, okay.
Well, dinner won’t be ready for another hour or so. You can get in a few miles.
And I’ll be here when you get back.”

He changed into
his worn out exercise clothes, gave me a quick kiss, and went on his way. I
watched as he ran down the driveway.

I got mad because he was late. It wasn’t
like Brian! I told him dinner was ready in an hour, and it was almost two hours
later. What the hell was going on?

“MOM!” Carey
yelled at me from the foyer.

“What? I’m in
the kitchen!”

“Mom, Carey
said some car just pulled into the driveway.” Jimmy ran in to tell me.

“Can’t be Dad.
He didn’t take the car...” I let my voice trail off as the doorbell rang.

“You guys move!”
I shooed the kids out of the way and opened the door.

“Julie! What’s
up, lady?” Amy, one of my best friends, stood waiting on the porch with a
bottle of wine.

“Not much, but
Brian is gonna get his ass beat. He went out for a run two hours ago!”

“So… wine on
hold?” Amy asked.

“No way. I fed
the kids, and I’m about to eat myself. He’ll just have to reheat it,” I replied
with a bit of asperity.

We sat down at
the table in our kitchen. I laughed, had another glass of wine, and then the
phone rang.

“Brian? You
better have a good reason—”

“Mrs. Klevan?”
It was a voice I didn’t recognize.

I paused. “Oh.
I’m sorry. Yes, speaking.”

The rest of the
phone call was a blur. All I remember is them saying that Brian was in an
accident, and I should come to the hospital right away. I don’t know if I hung
up the phone. Maybe I did. I think I did.

“Julie? What’s
wrong? Who was that?” Amy must have seen me trembling as she rushed over and
put her arm around me.

I leaned into
her, praying that it was something silly.

“Brian... Umm,
he’s... wait... he’s at the hospital.” I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t catch my
breath. "He was in a... uh... umm... accident."

“Okay. Alright,
I’ve got you. CAREY?” Amy yelled up the stairs.

“Hey, Amy!
What’s up?” My son... our son, looked so innocent.

Please,
Please... I thought.

“Carey-” I
still couldn’t talk.

“Mom? Are you
okay? What’s wrong?” Concern filled his voice. He looked at Amy for answers.

“Hey, kiddo.
You know what? We don’t really know what’s going on," Amy said calmly.
"Your dad was in some sort of accident, and we’re going to run to the
hospital. I’m going to take your mom. Watch the girls, okay?”

“Yeah, of
course.” Carey didn’t ask any more questions, but worry had already set in.

Amy bundled me
into the car, and I shook off my confusion.

We don’t
know what’s going on.
I
told myself.
It’s going to be okay. Whatever it is... we’ll be okay.

I buried my husband four days later. The
kids said good-bye to their father. I don’t remember the service. Truth be told
I didn’t care what the priest said. I wanted to scream at him to shut up! I
wanted to hit someone, anyone. I wanted Brian back. I didn’t want the boys to
grow up without him. How would Jessie and Maggie learn what to look for in a
man when the time came?

Amy and her
husband, Ben, offered to help plan the service, and I let them. And after the
funeral, after everyone had gone home, I sat in my room with Brian’s shirt in
my lap. I stared out the window, willing him to run up the driveway. I stared
at the phone, silently begging it to ring. I stood in our bathroom, and used
his sink. I inhaled his towel… he was gone, and I was alone.

“Mommy?” A
small voice asked from the doorway.

I turned toward
it, and I looked at our little girl. Maggie had on one of Brian’s old T-shirts,
and she was holding a teddy bear he gave her. I held my arms out to her.

No, I wasn’t
alone. I still had the kids. We still had each other.