Perfect on Paper (16 page)

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Nadine observed that her parents kept the yard immaculate as she pulled into the driveway. For a second she felt that she’d been cursed to have parents with such a great marriage and an all-round Norman Rockwell type of family. It made finding her match a real challenge. Maybe the reason she was so picky was that she secretly feared that no man lived up to her expectations. Allan had seemed to, but that was a long time ago.

As she parked, she felt her shoulders tense up. That was where she carried her stress, and she was definitely feeling anxious. So many months had passed. She took a moment to look in the rearview mirror. Her lipstick. Where was it? She scoured her bag looking for it. Duchess panted. She clearly wanted out. Nadine’s throat felt dry, like she wasn’t sure she’d be able to talk. She felt short of breath.

Just then, before she’d had a chance to find her lipstick, the front door opened and Allan emerged. He looked the same. His broad shoulders and dark features still stunned her. He was a very handsome man. It wasn’t just his height, but the way he carried himself, so assured and smooth. She flung open the door and got out—now or never.

“Hey.” He opened his arms to her. She entered his embrace cautiously at first, but once she was in his arms, it felt so familiar to be there. His scent was still the same. His strong grasp still felt as good as it used to. He squeezed her tight. “It’s so good to see you,” he said.

“You too.” To her own surprise, she meant it. Up until that moment, the encounter had seemed a burden, but now that she was in his arms, it felt right that he should call on her. She wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. The past had passed. And here they were in the present. She found herself immediately curious about what he’d been up to.

“Who’s this?” He gestured at Duchess, who had not jumped out through the front seat the way some dogs would have. She sat in the back, wagging her tail.

Nadine opened the door for her. “This is Duchess.”

The Setter jumped out and Allan put his hand out to acquaint himself. “Wow, she’s a real beauty. When did you get her?”

“Just yesterday, as a matter of fact.”

“Whoa.”

“Yeah. Exciting times,” she said.

“I’ll say.” He looked at her as though he was trying to figure out what it meant that she’d become a dog owner, but he didn’t ask about it. Instead he said, “You look great, Nadine. Better than ever.”

“Thanks,” she said. “You too.” But she didn’t want to dwell on appearance. It was awkward. “So how’s New York treating you?”

“Good,” he replied, nodding. “Actually, I should say great. I’ve been promoted twice this past year and I’ve just put a down payment on a sweet condo. It’s got two bedrooms and a great view of Central Park.”

Same old Allan. Cool as ever.

“Wow,” she said. “Congratulations. Your parents must be so proud.”

“Yeah, they’re inside. They’re excited about seeing you.”

Nadine nodded.

“I am too. I was really looking forward to seeing you, Nadine. And now I know exactly why.”

“Okay, why?”

“Something’s been missing ever since we split up. I haven’t felt right about it, the way I treated you. I want you to know I’m really sorry.”

“It’s in the past now, Allan. Let’s not hash it up. At least not right here, right now. I’d rather just hang out with your parents.”

“You got it. But will you let me take you out to dinner?”

“Sure,” she said, a little too quickly.

“Good. There’s some stuff I’d like to discuss and anyway, I have something for you that I should have given you a long time ago.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s not from me, but it’s really important.”

“That is very mysterious, Allan.”

“I know. I don’t mean to be. Let’s just say there’s a surprise coming your way.”

“Well, you’re full of surprises.”

Allan looked momentarily hurt and defensive, but then he said, “I’m just gonna let that go. I deserve whatever you dish out.”

“Let’s go in.” Nadine locked her car doors and the three of them walked in through the house single file, with Duchess in the back.

The Jordans were in the sun room, the glass-covered back patio that Nadine’s parents used year-round to entertain guests. Michigan was not exactly a warm climate, but the enclosed space meant that any time it was sunny, it felt warm on the indoor patio.

Everyone got up out of their chairs to greet Nadine, but the attention went straight to her new best friend.

Her mother spoke first. “Who’s this?”

“Everyone, this is Duchess. She’s part of my life now. I got her yesterday from the SPCA.” Nadine elaborated about Mrs. Bronstein and Duke, but she left David out of the story. She was aware of it, but she could analyze herself later. It was very odd to come face to face with her past like this. The Jordans hugged her and carried on as though they still considered her a soon-to-be daughter-in-law.

Nadine’s dad gave her the update to the impromptu plans. “We invited Todd and Samantha over, too. They’re coming for dinner. We thought we’d order in.”

“Oh, okay,” Nadine said. Her brother and sister-in-law were coming, too? What was this? Some kind of awkward family reunion? “I’ll probably need to leave early, as I have some business to attend to.”

“On a Sunday?” Jeraldine Jordan asked. The Jordans were strict Christians in the sense that they observed Sunday as a day of rest, and apparently also as a day of paying unplanned visits.

“I’ve been making a go of my business in addition to my job,” Nadine explained. “Which means I’m busy all the time now.” She laughed nervously.

Jeraldine Jordan was a homemaker and not particularly amused. “Don’t tell me you’re back at the investment firm and now running a business on the side, dear. My goodness.” She had a way of sounding concerned, but Nadine detected a touch of insecurity in the observation.

“After the firm let me go, I went back to my old job at the bookstore at UMich. It gives me health benefits and it’s steady and easy, and I can even bring Duchess to work with me, so it affords me the chance to launch my dream.”

Mr. Jordan enquired, “And what’s this business of yours?”

“Well, remember Grandpa Winston? I’m following in his footsteps. Restoring furniture.”

The Jordans looked at each other like they were totally puzzled by Nadine’s words. There was a pause as they took it in. Finally, Jeraldine asked the question that Nadine was sure they were all thinking. “But how can you do that? Isn’t there a lot of heavy lifting involved?”

“There is some,” Nadine conceded. “And sometimes I get help, but most of the work is sanding, staining and that sort of thing.”

Their doubtful expressions hurt Nadine’s feelings more than she let on. “Anyway, it’s going well. I’ve made a great deal of sales this month and now I need to deliver on my promises and that’s why I’ll have to bow out a little early tonight.” She felt that the words sounded harsh, so she added a polite, “I’m sorry.”

“Allan came all the way from New York,” Nadine’s mom said.

“Yeah,” Nadine countered. “And if I’d known he was coming I could have moved things around in my schedule, but as it is, I have to put a final coat of varnish on a bookshelf tonight and I have to try to get to bed in time to wake up for Monday morning.”

“Who’d like another glass of merlot?” her mother asked no one in particular. “Nadine? Would you come and help me?”

“Sure.”

Nadine followed her mother into the kitchen. As soon as they were behind closed doors, her mother turned and faced her with an expression of so much urgency that Nadine remembered what it was like to be a child about to get in trouble.

“Allan’s still in love with you. You might want to see if you can fit that into your schedule.”

“Did he say anything?”

“He doesn’t have to. Look at him.”

“Mom, quit being dramatic. He broke up with me a long time ago. Remember?”

“Maybe so, but he came back for you.”

“You don’t know that. His parents live in Ann Arbor, too, you know.”

“Oh, please. They go see him every chance they get. They love going to Broadway and the museums and all that jazz.”

“You’re jumping to conclusions, and you know it.”

“He’s a good guy, Nadine. An excellent catch.”

“He left me. Did you forget?”

“We were all young once, dear.”

“It wasn’t even two years ago.”

“He’s matured a lot since then.”

“Why are you being like this? What if I don’t want to get married anymore?”

“Don’t you?”

Nadine shook her head. She hadn’t been forced into acknowledging this to her mother before and so she’d kept it to herself, figuring that one day her mother would simply notice that instead of a husband, there was a different kind of lifestyle, a family made up of friends, a thriving business, Duchess and maybe a hot young lover.

“I dodged a bullet, Mom. I really did. That’s how I feel.”

“Well, it won’t hurt you to at least be nice to him while he’s here.”

“I’m being nice,” she blurted in a tone that was less than sweet. “I’m letting him take me out for dinner.”

Her mother scoffed.

“What?” Nadine quipped. “He broke my heart and left. What do I owe him? I think I’m being plenty nice by even being here right now.”

“Nadine,” her mother said softly. This was the way she got what she wanted. She had this perfect ability to be gentle. “You’re still hurting. I understand. Hear him out. Let him apologize. It’s obvious he wants to.” Nadine felt that her mother’s embrace was enough to make her put her proverbial sword and shield down. After all, they all wanted the best for her, didn’t they? Even the Jordans. It was not their fault that Allan had bolted. And it was true what she had admitted to her mother. She did feel that his leaving had been a blessing. It had taken some time to reach that conclusion, but she knew that if they had gotten married when they’d planned to, she wouldn’t have been ready. She had needed to grow.

When Nadine and her mother re-emerged, the Jordans were in the middle of their story about their last trip to New York City. Specifically, they were telling the story of seeing
Phantom of the Opera
. Nadine couldn’t help but notice that they still spoke over the top of each other, like they always had.

When Mr. Jordan said, “So we’re already late when we leave the hotel and…” then Mrs. Jordan jumped in with, “Getting a cab is a nightmare. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.” Mr. Jordan continued, “Finally a guy picks us up but then we get stuck in traffic…” Mrs. Jordan interjected, “There’s a parade.” Mr. Jordan took over the story-telling, “So I’m watching the clock and the meter…” But Mrs. Jordan wasn’t going to let him hog the spotlight so she added, “And the driver tells us he’s going to take another route.”

Allan’s parents were great, Nadine observed, but their stories were always co-creations that meandered and made little sense. She sipped her merlot and looked at Allan, sitting idly by while his parents talked. How strange this was, for the two of them to be here—in the same room together for the first time since the most awful day of her life—and there was no acknowledgment of that awkwardness. Instead, there was a mundane beginning of a story that seemed to go nowhere and wasn’t at all entertaining.

Mr. Jordan finally got to the point about how they had got there just in time to brush elbows with Amy Sedaris and Stephen Colbert. Mr. Jordan reiterated a funny moment they’d all shared. It wasn’t really a laugh-out-loud moment, but Nadine chuckled anyway. It felt good to defuse the situation, because in her own mind, she was going over all the questions she had for Allan.

The doorbell rang and her father shifted to get up, but Allan gestured to him to stay.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it,” Allan said, taking charge. “It can only be Todd and Samantha.”

Nadine shook her head at Allan as she watched him go for the door. Why not just call her father Dad like he used to? He sure was making himself at home. And the crazy part was, her dad clearly loved every second of it. She watched his face as he sat there on the couch, anticipating Allan’s next move. Everyone fell silent in the indoor patio space.

Then there was an uproar when Allan opened the door. Hugs and hoots came thundering through the halls.

“Look at you. You haven’t changed a bit,” Todd said.

Allan countered with, “Good to see you, man,” and a firm slap on the back. To Samantha, he was chivalrous and gave her a hug and told her how much he’d missed her.

Nadine looked around. She seemed to be the only one who was not beside herself with glee that Allan had come back. The others either had amnesia or assumed that she had forgiven Allan completely.

Dinner was long. Her mother and Jeraldine Jordan gave Thanksgiving recipes and canning tips to her and Samantha, while her father, Frank Jordan and Todd talked about work and getting out to their cabins to do repairs and go fishing. Nadine felt that this was a tiny taste of what life could have been like had they been four married couples. She was grateful that, on occasion, she could look around the table for a reassuring glance from Allan.

After dinner and coffee, Nadine announced that she had to go.

“Let me walk you out.” Allan stood up. The whole evening had been going in this direction so Nadine thought it ludicrous to refuse now. After a night of public courtesy, the least he could do was give her a few minutes of alone time.

“Thank you,” she said. “Thanks, everybody, for a nice dinner. It was a great surprise.”

“Don’t work too hard,” Mr. Jordan said. And everyone at the table laughed.

“All right,” Nadine said. There was nothing else she felt she could say.

She and Allan looked at each other and headed for the hallway. He helped her with her jacket, as he always had. She’d give him that much. He was gallant. He held the door for her and she walked out of her parents’ home feeling confused, yet loved in a strangely familiar way. Duchess followed.

“It was nice to see your parents,” she said.

“They love you, you know,” he assured her. “Sorry they gave you a hard time about the furniture stuff. You know they’re traditional.”