Perfect Together (Canyon Cove Book 5) (14 page)

"And her name isn't Alyssa either, it's Alicia. My sister," Eddie said. "She told me all about that night."

"Oh?" Becca said, tilting her head with interest. "Tell me what she said. I'd like to hear all about it. Although I'm sure I can guess. What did you do with her, Gideon? Maybe play a game of checkers?"

Becca's voice dripped with sarcasm. I stared at Eddie, who looked at me expectantly, but I didn't know what to say. I thought about the few things Alicia and I talked about. They weren't things I wanted Becca to hear from him. If anyone was going to tell Becca I was in love with her, it should be me.

"Becca, please. Can't we talk in private? Just give me five minutes," I said.

She turned to her date and they exchanged a look. I hated myself that they were so close that they could do that. Becca and I could do that. She could look at me and know exactly what I was thinking, but I was gone long enough that she found a replacement.

In the months since I left, I never stopped thinking about her, but I never reached out. I never called her, not even as my best friend. I was stupid for never admitting how I felt about her. I had my chance and I let it slip out of my hands because of my own foolishness.

As I watched their silent conversation, I realized all that mattered to me was her happiness. If she wanted to be with him, that was fine as long as he treated her right.
 

I could have walked away at that moment, but I refused to give up that easily. I could make her happy. I knew it. She needed to know it too. I had to tell her everything. She needed to know why I left and why I was back.

"You know what? Just forget it," I said before walking away.

Becca's hand reached for my arm, but I didn't stop. I wasn't going to be some pansy and beg her for time alone so I could pour my guts out to her. If she wanted to be alone with me, she would have gone the first time I asked. I needed to do something to make her understand how serious I was about her and if that meant doing it in front of all these people, I would.

Chapter Nineteen

Becca

As Taylor and I entered the fundraiser, I looked around the room for Gideon. It was more out of reflex than anything, but I kept hoping to see him. The fundraiser was in celebration of a year since his brother, Gabriel Kohl, created the grant to revitalize Canyon Cove's South End. The Boone Art Gallery looked just like it did last year. But the big difference I noticed was that Gideon wasn't there following me around.

When I thought about that night now, I realized how blind I had been. I never admitted to Gideon that I saw him that night. I never told anyone about it. Everything had changed after that night, but it wasn't until now that I admitted it to myself.

I was so worried about my friendship with Gideon ending that I didn't realize it had evolved. In my quest to keep Gideon and not lose him, I did exactly that. I didn't want to believe he loved me, it was easier to pretend he didn't, so I pushed him away.

I spotted Eddie from work and went over to talk to him. As we spoke, I wrapped my arm through Taylor's and looked up at him and smiled. Taylor was the perfect date. He was even the perfect friend. He was model gorgeous and looked incredible in a tuxedo. All the women looked at him when we walked past, but I knew he would never abandon our friendship for one of them. He wasn't interested.

When I thought about Gideon, I wondered if that was what my problem was. Maybe I was so worried about losing him to someone else that when he became interested, I thought our friendship was over.

In all this time, the only thing I knew for certain was that I was someone who overanalyzed everything. Unfortunately with Gideon gone, all I had were my memories of our conversations. It was the only way I could figure out what went wrong. And with Gideon gone, Taylor had become the person that I went to with all my problems.

I was mid-sentence when Gideon stepped into the alcove with us. For a second I thought I was making him up. I thought I had been thinking about him so much that I imagined him there. I was so stunned to see him, I didn't know if I was still talking or if I stopped. It had been so long since I had seen Gideon that I didn't know what to do.

"We need to talk," he said before looking at Taylor with disdain. "Alone."

I couldn't believe he was acting like this after being gone for all this time. He was acting like he owned me and in some way, he did. A day didn't go by where I wasn't thinking about him or wishing he was near. But that didn't mean I wasn't going to be angry with him.

"Anything you say to me, you can say in front of Taylor," I said.

"No, this is about us, Becca, you and me. I'm doing now what I should have done months ago. Before you even had your blind date with this guy."

I could see the anger brewing in Gideon's face, and I liked it. I loved that he was still jealous even though we hadn't spoken in months. I liked how he would get all alpha just because another man was near me.
 

I wanted to believe I was much more of an intellectual than to fall for this alpha male bullshit, but there was something about Gideon when he was forceful like this that I couldn't resist. Still, he had no right to act this way.

I hated being reminded of that blind date. The good of it was that I met Taylor and he became a great friend, but I hated how Gideon was so quick to find another woman. What made it worse was when he didn't show up. For all I knew, he was telling her how much he loved her just like he told me.

As Eddie started to explain about his sister being Gideon's date and what really happened, I realized I was acting just as jealous as Gideon.

I was saying things and acting in a way that was nothing like me, but I couldn't help myself. Why was I even bringing up something that happened so long ago? I knew I was in love with Gideon, and the thought of him being with someone else drove me crazy.

As he looked at Taylor with disdain, I realized that we were going through the same exact thing. He cared about me as much as I cared about him. And knowing him like I did, I had a feeling that I was making a big deal about Eddie's sister for nothing.

"Becca, please. Can we talk in private? Just give me five minutes," Gideon said.

I looked up at Taylor and he gave a brief nod. Taylor was my go-to friend for everything about Gideon. It was nice to get a man's perspective on things, even if he was gay.

Taylor didn't have to say anything, I knew he would support whatever decision I made. He knew how I felt about Gideon. He knew I had been miserable without my old friend.

"You know what? Just forget it," Gideon said angrily before walking away.

I reached out for his arm, hoping to stop him, but he kept walking. I didn't blame him, how could I? I had been the worst friend possible. I was never open with him, I never told him how I felt. Even now, with my arm still through Taylor's, I realized what Taylor and I must look like.

I ran after Gideon, but I lost him in the crowd. I walked in and out of the different alcoves trying to find him, but it was useless. He was gone.
 

As I turned back to find Taylor again, the music stopped and someone annoyingly tapped on a microphone

"Excuse me, folks. Is this thing on?"

I spun around to find Gideon on a stage by the bar. I started to make my way closer to the stage to find out what he was up to.

"I don't know how many of you know who I am, but that really isn't important right now," he said. "You see, it was at this fundraiser almost a year ago that something in me changed. I was friends, best friends, with this incredible woman." He pointed to me and smiled. "She's smart, she's funny, and she can tell a dirty joke that would make a sailor blush. I'm telling you, any of you single guys out there, if you ever meet a woman like this, don't make her your friend. Because having her as your friend is torture."

"What do you mean having me as a friend is torture?" I asked as I reached the stage.

"Did I mention she's feisty? I love that. Just let me finish please, honey," he said with a tender look in his eye. "You see, this whole talking thing is the problem. I'm a man, she's a woman, and in all reality we should speak the same language, but we don't. She's just too smart for me. I know I joke around a lot and I try to keep things lighthearted, but she was the only one who could ever see through all of that. And that meant a lot to me. When you find someone that can look past your bullshit and still care about you, you hold on to that person. That's unconditional, that's the kind of relationship where you can be away for months and come back and pick up exactly where you left off."

"Keep going," I said. "You're getting better."

Gideon laughed. "I'm not done yet. You see, folks, when we were at this fundraiser last time, I didn't see my friend standing at the bar in a dress that left no room for the imagination, I saw her for the first time as a woman. It was then that I realized how much I cared about her and what I really felt for her. But you know what? We were great friends. I didn't want to lose that, and neither did she. I'm not going to bore you with all the juicy details of what happened after that. But trust me, there was some hot stuff going on, am I right?"

He looked at me expectantly and I just shook my head.

"Get to the point, Gideon," I said. "No one needs to know about that."

"Well, what happened between us was incredible. But despite all the wonderful things and my telling her that I loved her, we didn't work out. And that was my fault."

He looked at me apologetically before looking out at the crowd again.

"You see, folks, I was immature. I would think with my dick more than anything else and every time I got hard, I thought I was in love. You guys know what I mean, the loss of blood to your brain is pretty intense. Now, when you have a friend that you tell everything to, they know what an idiot you are. So when I told Becca that I loved her, she rightly stepped back and told me to go to hell."

Gideon scanned the crowd that was listening quietly.

"It's a tough thing when the person you love tells you to take a hike," he said quietly. "But once I stopped feeling hurt and angry, I decided to take some time away and focus on myself. She was right, I wasn't ready. Yes, I still loved her, but I was too immature. Being the best man that I could be for her was all that mattered to me, and I made sure I became that. So now I'm standing here and I don't know how she feels. She's here with another man, and I don't know if I lost my chance. But if I didn't tell her that a day didn't go by without my thinking about her, I would never forgive myself.

"Becca, I left so you could be happy. I left to make you happy. While I was gone, I made sure to become the man that deserved you. I have always been a man who would do anything for you. I don't want you looking at me like that kid that slept his way through the city. I want you to look at me as the man that I've become, the one that still loves you. The one that will always love you."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. Again Gideon said exactly the right thing. He said just what I needed to hear. But this time I was really listening.

I thought about all the times our friends told us we were perfect together and how we were both too stubborn to admit they were right. I couldn't remember a time when I didn't love him, but while he was open and told me how he felt, I pretended our friendship meant more than that.

"Listen, Becca," he said, "I don't know what's going on with you and Dr. Blond over there, but I don't see a ring on your finger. I don't want to waste any more time. I know what I want. I know the rest of my life would be a waste if I didn't spend it with you. I know that this might sound crazy, but Becca, will you marry me?"

My breath caught in my throat. Did I hear him right? He had to have lost his mind. But what was crazier was that I wanted to say yes.

"As I look around the room, I can see you all think I'm crazy, but hear me out," Gideon said. "All of you married people, you dated for a while, right? It doesn't matter how long it was, it could've been weeks, it could've been months, it could've been decades, let's be honest. In the end you all end up in the same place, married."

Gideon looked around the room and as I turned around, I saw couples nodding with him.

"Becca and I have been friends for over a year. Let me correct that, we've been
best
friends. We talked about everything. We were the last person to say anything to each other before we went to sleep and the first person to say something when we woke up. For all that time, we might as well have been dating, just without the sex. Sure, we had our own lives. I'd go out with the guys, she'd go out with the girls, but at the end of the day, we always came back to each other because that's who we enjoyed being with most of all."