Perfectly Broken (27 page)

“Mom!” he pleaded.

“I also know about Sara, Alyssa, Jamie, the Stevens twins ....”

“Mom!” Reed gripped his neck then hid his face with his hands. “Please stop!”

She shrugged. “I also know you love Peyton, and that you’d never treat her the way your father did me.”

“Never.”

“There you go.” Marion smiled. “That’s why I stayed.”

“But why do you stay with him now? I’m not a child you have to protect anymore.”

“The Catholic Church doesn’t condone divorce.”

Reed rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you had grounds for an annulment.”

“Maybe — or maybe I’m just comfortable with my life. He’s trying to do better — at least with me.” Reed opened his mouth, and she held out a finger again. “This is really none of your business, but your father and I went to counseling for years.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know.”

“Like?”

“I know what people have said behind my back and what they still say. As far as I know, your father has been faithful to me since that horrible mess. I’m not stupid. I know he’s a terrible flirt. I know he has a wandering eye, so I had to protect myself.”

Reed wrinkled his face. “How?”

“I made him sign a postnuptial agreement.”

“What?”

“I went to a lawyer after I found out about his affairs, when everything came out. I made him sign it or else I was divorcing him. It’s got a strict mistress clause. He signed the house over to me, and the clause says if he’s caught cheating again, I will get 3/4 of our assets. Cheating is anything to do with another woman including computer affairs, sexting, porn.” She chuckled slightly. “Hell, the man isn’t even allowed to get a massage from a woman.”

“Wow, you have him by the balls.”

“I had to protect myself if I was going to stay married to him. I had to protect you, too.”

“Me?”

Marion sighed. “I never expected to be telling you any of this. I made him put money in a trust for you. I didn’t want him to be able to use you against me. And I didn’t want to feel like I couldn’t take care of you.”

“I have a trust fund?”

“You do. In the event we divorced before you were 22 or out of college, then the money went directly to you. Since we stayed together, it’s being held as part of your inheritance.”

“How much?” Reed asked, his head spinning.

“None of your business.”

“So Dad never wanted a divorce, either?”

“No, never.”

“Then why was he such a shitty husband and father?” Reed cried. “Why is he still such a jerk to me?”

“Reed!” Marion barked. “Your father loves you and loves me.”

“He loves
himself
.”

“He does,” she said with a laugh, “but he also loves us as much as he’s capable of loving another person.”

“And that’s enough for you? You deserve so much better.”

Marion put her arms around her son. He was still very much her little boy, the one who used to insist he’d live with her forever, the one who used to ask why he couldn’t marry her, the one whose tiny hand she held walking in the French Quarter. “Look, I’ve made my own bed. I’ve done what I thought was right.” She’d said enough. She couldn’t make her son accept her choices — just as she couldn’t make her husband remember Valentine’s Day. “But enough about me. I came here to talk about you and Peyton.”

“How can I get her to forgive me? How did you forgive Dad?”

“Back to him again, huh? And who said I forgave him? It’s a work in progress — every single day. And he can make it difficult, so damn difficult.”

“That’s not very encouraging.”

She took his hand. “Son, you can’t convince her to forgive you. You can only hope she loves you enough to try.”

“I hope she does.”

“I think she does.”

“Have you been happy, Mom?”

“You have made my life full of happiness,” Marion said then lightly pinched his cheek. “But I’ll be happier when you and Peyton give me some grandchildren.”

He rolled his eyes. “Give it up, Mom.”

PEYTON’S FEET HIT
the pavement, still wet from the morning dew, as the first morning light snuck through the oaks of Audubon Park, creating shadows along her path. She ran in a steady rhythm, easily passing other runners despite a strong headwind, hoping the beat of her feet could steady her mind. But it wasn’t working; there was too much clutter inside. She pushed harder, faster, her legs straining with each step — though the shadows were always there, ready to pull her back.

Her mind turned to Quinn’s engagement, thankful for the much needed change of pace. She and Quinn needed to get busy if Quinn and Bret were going to marry by the end of the year. The first order of business was the engagement party, which Quinn insisted happen as soon as possible, preferably no later than the coming weekend. Planning such a party — for an ordinary, normal person — would take several weeks at least, but not for Quinn.

She’d already settled on a historic plantation about an hour away and managed to line up a host of vendors to cater to her every whim. Quinn was clearly in her element, moving at the speed of light, with Peyton by her side each step of the way. And there was more to do. Today they would scramble around New Orleans to decide on flowers, invitations, table linens, a menu — though dessert, of course, was taken care of. Peyton already had Julia working overtime to help prepare.

Peyton rounded the corner and abruptly stopped in a shadow near the fountain, her feet hurting from all the planning and apartment hunting and weight on her shoulders. They hurt from running, too — from her thoughts, from Reed, from her past. Her eyes landed on the field where they danced, where he sang to her, where he fed her strawberries. She closed her eyes to forget; after all, he was gone. She’d made sure of that.
Damn sure.
He hadn’t even called her in days.

She opened her eyes and for a brief moment, thought she saw him under a tree, waiting for her as he had before. She took a step towards the tree and reached out for him. But he wasn’t there. There was nothing there but shadows, once again playing tricks on her mind. Peyton put her head in her hands to brace herself, to ease her mind, then gripped her locket before turning to leave. She couldn’t afford to waste any more time and energy. She had a full day of engagement planning ahead.

Peyton liked helping Quinn — it was a good distraction for her — but the idea of two people in love, getting married, while she was broken and apparently destined to be alone, hung heavy on her heart. It didn’t seem quite fair given all she’d been through. She wondered if she should’ve just slept with Reed that last morning they were together — they were probably just days away from making love anyway — or if she’d feel worse if she had.

She wondered if she’d have another chance with another man, or maybe she’d just die before ever having consensual sex.
Maybe I need a fuck buddy?
Peyton laughed at the thought of it. It seemed to work for Reed but doubted she could ever go through with it. After all, it took her months to trust Reed and even then she hadn’t gone all the way. Another thought ran through her mind, and it was much more plausible.

Griffin?
He was single, and so was she. They had great chemistry, at least they did in their teens. And she could trust him. Peyton tilted her head contemplating the idea, trying to imagine how to initiate that conversation.
Hey Griffin, can you please take my virginity?
She giggled at the horror of it. She didn’t want to destroy their friendship that way. She couldn’t lose him, too. So she kept her usual routine, kept her appointments with Dr. Lorraine, wore cute clothes, enjoyed her friends. If she was ever going to share her life with someone, she knew she had to heal herself first.

She had to get her mind and heart right, to gather strength, especially since she’d soon see Reed at the engagement party. This probably would be the first of many times she’d have to see him. After all, their best friends were getting married, so there would be weddings, births, baptisms, and birthdays to endure. Peyton drew a deep breath, telling herself to get used to it. And Reed wouldn’t be alone for long, if he even was now. At the very least, she hoped he didn’t bring someone to the party. She wasn’t ready for that.

She reached her Mini Cooper and saw a single pink rose petal on the sidewalk. She picked it up, gently rubbing it between her fingers, remembering the pink petal on his table at her shop. She glanced around, checking if Reed was close by, if perhaps he’d left it for her. But he wasn’t there, just like he wasn’t under the tree. She sunk into her car, feeling as small as it was, and feared she’d finally lost her mind — the last part of her now broken.
Get it together.

* * *

Reed picked at his burger, wishing he’d gone to lunch alone. He knew Bret was just trying to cheer him up, rambling on about whatever random crap came into his mind, but it didn’t make up for the emptiness in his heart, in his life. Still, he tried to seem interested, resting his head on his hand, occasionally nodding along.

“You know, I saw an ad on TV the other day about some hearing device,” Bret said. “I don’t know what kind it was. To be honest, I don’t know shit about hearing devices. But it got me thinking. Has anyone ever invented a device that would let you turn your hearing off?”

Reed shrugged. “Noise cancelation headphones?”

“No, that’s not what I’m talking about. Something different. I mean something real small that you could directly insert in your ear.”

“Like an earbud?”

“No. A device that would shut your hearing off. Like totally off.”

“Why would you ever want to do that?”

Bret’s face lit up. “Why? So many reasons. Maybe your woman has been bitching all day, just talking all kinds of shit at you. And you just can’t take it anymore. So you insert the device to turn your ears off.”

“Would it be both ears or just one?

“I guess it would need to be both. I haven’t totally thought it through yet.”

“You should keep thinking about it,” Reed deadpanned. “Sounds promising.”

“I think so, too. It makes perfect sense. I think there’s a real market for this kind of thing. I mean, you can shut your eyes if you don’t want to see something. You should be able to turn your ears off if you don’t want to hear something.”

“Makes sense.”

Bret saw Quinn enter the restaurant. “Hey, baby,” he called out, waving for her to come over, then whispered to Reed, “All this engagement party shit is driving me crazy. It’s all she talks about.”

“Better start working on your device.”

Quinn approached their table, and Bret wrapped his arms around her. For a second, Reed thought about hugging her, too. It would almost be like hugging Peyton. Maybe he could get a whiff of Peyton’s sweet vanilla coming off of Quinn.
I’m losing it.

Quinn gave Reed a small smile then pecked him on the cheek. “How’ve you been? Haven’t seen you in awhile.”

“I’ve been doing fine.”

Quinn raised an eyebrow, knowing he was lying. “Sorry to interrupt your lunch,” Quinn said and turned to Bret. “Just wanted to leave the set list for the band. See if you wanted to add anything.” She handed him a sheet of paper.

Reed pulled out a chair for her. “Sit down. I’m sure Bret wants to review every song.” Bret kicked his friend under the table.

Quinn took a seat and quickly began running through the list as Bret’s eyes glazed over. Then his phone rang, rescuing him. “Damn, it’s the suits. Another conference call. I’ve got to take this. It’s going to be a bit. I really wanted to look at all the songs.” Bret happily excused himself, leaving Quinn and Reed to stare at each other.

Quinn picked up Bret’s beer and took a long drink. “OK, let’s get this over with. I hate awkward moments.”

“How is she?”

“Bad the first few weeks, but she’s been doing better the past few days.”

Reed winced. “I bet Griffin’s making her feel
so
much better.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she snapped.

Reed sat back, slightly afraid of Quinn. “That your brother is just down the hall and wants to screw my girlfriend.”

“I know that.” Quinn took another slug. “Peyton is totally blind.”

“Yep, why can’t she see it?”

“Because Griffin....” Quinn started but wasn’t sure she should continue.

“I know he’s the one who found her. I know they’re bonded over that.”

Quinn shook her head. “God help me, but I’m going to tell you something I shouldn’t.” She finished Bret’s beer. “We
never
had this conversation, understand?”

“Got it.”

“I tried to help her after the attack, but Griffin gave her something I couldn’t.”

Reed grabbed his neck. “What?”

“You have to understand how bad it was.”

“She told me the whole story. I know how bad it was.”

“No, you don’t. You weren’t there. You have no idea. Her entire face was black and blue, cuts everywhere. Her body was so beat up. I barely recognized her.”

“I don’t think we should be talking about this. Peyton wouldn’t like it.”

Quinn ignored him. “But her beat-up body wasn’t the worst part. The worst was the weeks and weeks that followed. She hardly ever slept — like never. And when she did, she’d wake up screaming, terrified, clawing, fighting. It was like she was a wild animal. She’d get stuck in the nightmares. One time she gave me a black eye when I was trying to wake her up.”

“Jesus.”

“The doctors gave her pills to relax her. She was in therapy. Not a damn bit of it worked. Do you know what worked?” Reed shook his head. “Griffin.”

“I don’t think I want to hear anymore.”

“You need to understand why they’re so close and why Peyton can’t see my brother wants her. If you want her back, you can’t get sucked into Griffin’s crap.”

“You don’t like your brother very much.”

“I love my brother. But he could’ve made a move on Peyton years ago. It’s only now that you’re in the picture that he’s stepped up. Only now, when Peyton is almost healed, he’s interested. He was great to her after and still is, but he didn’t want to put in the hard work. He’s like that. Things always come easy to him — and Peyton’s not easy.”