Permanent Resident at the Purse Table (11 page)

Toni called Ava as soon as Rene pulled out of the parking lot and headed down the street. She prepared her words to leave a voicemail since there was no answer. Just as she went into her message, Ava's picture appeared on her screen and she answered the call. “Hello.”

“Sorry, I didn't pick up in time.”

“Are you asleep?” It was the middle of the day and her friend's groggy voice made Toni check her gold wristwatch.

“Yeah.” Ava cleared her throat. “I came home early from work. Had a headache.”

“Oh, well, you can call me back later when you get up.”

“No, it's okay. What's going on?”

“I'm about to head to the modeling agency to see if I'm cleared to start going out on shoots again.”
Please, Lord, let it be a yes.

“I know you're ready to get back working. Has your face completely healed?”

“I think it has, but Eddie, my agent, will have the final say-so.” Toni was prepared to offer him a bribe to even give her the smallest of jobs. Makeup could do the trick of covering remnants of any injury.

“Good luck and I'll be praying for you, girl.”

“Also, I just had lunch with Rene.”

“You did?”

Toni couldn't tell if the surprise in Ava's voice was a positive or negative response. “We met to discuss Eric's charges and the court date for my case.”

“Everything all right?”

“Better than that. Rene said with the evidence against Roderick, the case will be as easy as giving candy to a baby.”

Ava giggled. “Glad to hear that. So how was Rene?”

There. The door was open for Toni to go to work as the mediator. “She seemed okay. I think she misses you as much as you miss her, but wouldn't admit it for the world.”

“I do miss her. I still can't believe I committed the very sin I was trying most to avoid. And against one of my best friends. How do you explain that?”

As much as Toni had discussed the situation in her head with a judgmental slant, none of what would come out of her mouth would be uplifting. Could the Lord intervene for her? Toni remained in thought for a second. “What's that scripture about the things I want to do, I don't do, and the things I don't want to do, I do?”

“I believe that's somewhere in Romans. I'll have to look it up. But I don't feel like doing much of anything these days. Including reading my Bible.”

“Ava, you need to get up and do something. At least get out of the house. Take a walk. Anything.”

“Mmh. I will.”

Toni pictured Ava rolling her eyes at her suggestion. But she could only do so much to help her friend through this tough time in her life. Ava would eventually have to snap out of the funk.

After hanging up with Ava, Toni got into her ride and turned the radio up. Jamming to the upbeat music, she looked forward to what she hoped would be good news from her agent. At a red light, she brought the rearview mirror down, checking her face. Confidence set in as she carried on en route to the agency.

Pulling into the parking lot, a fellow model waved as she drove by. Toni, a few minutes early for her meeting, parked and then turned the radio off. “Lord, your will be done in this situation. I believe I am ready to work again, so I hope Eddie sees it that way.” She smiled. “And Lord, your will be done with Eric and me, too, please. I love him. Very much. And I know you know that, but I do not want to be hurt again. Please help me to guard my heart and move at a slow pace. Amen.”

She bounced through the front door of the Midtown Modeling Agency. Greetings and smiles were passed around as she made her way to Eddie's office. Nothing had changed. She felt as though the place was still a whirlwind of average-looking people catering to the needs of the stunningly gorgeous. She stopped in her tracks to view the whole scene.

Was Toni's nose that high in the air when the assistants served her beverages? Did she say please and thank you? The surroundings may have been the same, but Toni saw herself and her counterparts in a different light. The past couple of weeks had done a number on her humility and she welcomed the change.

Before she could knock on the open door, Eddie looked up. “Toni.” He lifted up out of his chair and offered her a hug. “How are you, girl?”

She received him with open arms. “Great. I feel like it's been longer than three weeks.”

“Yes, me too.” He pointed to the large sofa by the window. “Come on, sit down. Let's catch up.”

They sat facing each other and talked over the major parts of the case with Roderick. Then they focused on her health and what her first job back might be. After they finished the conversation of particulars, Eddie walked over to his desk to search for an itinerary of possible shoots Toni was requested for.

His secretary brought them each a bottle of water. “Toni, you have a delivery at the front. Would you like me to bring it in?”

Toni's forehead wrinkled. “Um, yes. Thank you.”

The secretary said, “Don't worry, you'll like this. I'll be right back.”

She returned moments later with a bright bouquet of yellow roses. Puzzled with anticipation, Toni reached for the flowers. “Ooh, these are beautiful. I wonder who they're from.”

“There's a card, but I didn't want to pry.”

Toni accepted the bouquet. Smelling the bunch, she set them next to her on the sofa. Even though the thought crossed her mind that Roderick may try something like a remorseful gesture to get her to drop the charges, the only person who knew her whereabouts was Eric. However, he had never been the flower kind of guy.

Eddie jerked his neck toward her. “Well, aren't you going to read the card?”

“It can wait.” If the lovely floral goodness was from Eric, she wanted to read the note in private where her emotions could run free.

“No, it can't.” He chuckled. “I'm nosy and I want to know now.”

Picking up the flowers, she removed the card from the plastic holder. She slid the card out of the mini envelope and read it aloud through a grin. “Just wanted to brighten your day. Thinking of you, Eric.” Her grin turned into a full-fledged cheese from ear to ear.

Eddie drifted around his desk and reclaimed his seat by her on the couch. “That's sweet. But I thought you and Eric were separated.”

“We are, but with all that has happened, we've been talking. Moving slow, but moving.”

“Okay. Well, he gets points for this, right?”

“Of course.” He was making big strides forward to regain his place in her life. She could stand to give him a few extra points.

“Good. Hope it all works out.”

“Thank you, Eddie. So, that's it? I'm cleared to work, right?”

He put his hand on hers. “As long as you are ready, I say yes. Everything's good on the physical side of things. But only you can make the decision if you're ready.”

“I am. I've been so bored these past few weeks. Eric has helped a great deal with the emotional part of the attempted rape. And all this free time has given me a lot of time to talk to God and work through some things.” She never thought she'd be one of those folks who waited until tragedy struck to open their Bible and have a little talk with Jesus. Why couldn't she have done that beforehand? From now on, she'd make prayer and studying God's Word a priority.

“All righty then. Let me get your go-see sheet, and I'll e-mail you the details for the next photo shoot this Friday. We'll get some new shots to vamp up your portfolio.”

“I appreciate everything you've done.” She stood. “All the rescheduling that was needed and just being here for me.”

“No problem. That's my job. And since I actually enjoy it, I feel like it's my calling. You take care and I'll see you in a few days.”

She took the sheet out of his hand and gave him a hug. “See you in a few.”

When she left his office and walked past his secretary, she giggled like a schoolgirl and smiled all the way to the parking lot. Eric knew she'd be there, but she never expected the beautiful-scented surprise accompanied by the heartfelt note. She couldn't wait to get in her car, locate her cell phone, and call him.

“What's up, Toni? I was hoping you'd call.”

“I was hoping you'd answer. Some sweet person sent me flowers here at the agency, and I was wondering if you happen to know anything about that?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, I just wanted that person to know how thankful I was. Could you pass the message along for me?”

He chuckled. “Why of course.”

“That was very thoughtful. And you have such great timing.”

“I wanted you to know I was thinking about you and hoped all went well in your meeting with Eddie.”

“It did and I'm back working again.” She brushed her hand over the flowers.

“That calls for a celebration. How 'bout we meet for an early dinner?”

Toni repressed her eagerness to see him again and threw in a hint of a nonchalant attitude. “I'm not that hungry. But we can meet for coffee.”

“Sounds good to me. Our old place?”

“That'll work.”

He cleared his throat. “Shoot, if I would have known all I had to do was whoop somebody to get you to talk to me, I would've done that a long time ago. Just found anybody in the street and start kickin' they butt.”

Toni laughed. “Eric, you are stupid, boy. But yes, I appreciate you literally fighting for me. Also, I see a change in you, so whatever you've been doing, keep doing it.”

“Not much to it. Just enjoying a real relationship with our Lord. He's opened my eyes to a lot of things. So I truly hope you'll agree to go to counseling with me. Maybe we can talk about that some more over coffee.”

She stared out of the driver's side window. Everything Eric said sounded good, but she didn't want it to be too good to be true. Toni decided she would let the Lord handle the situation from there on out. Prayer and seeking His guidance would become her new daily activities. Ever since Eric sought comfort outside of their marriage, she put her faith aside and fell out of fellowship with the Father. She reduced herself to only praying over a meal, and turning to alcohol and a gripe session with friends for comfort. And Eric was further gone than she was. Toni wasn't sure what he did spiritually or in any other area as many nights as he spent away from their home.

She loved Eric with every part of her being, but knew one of her many mistakes in their marriage was putting him before God. As they started over, she'd be sure to keep the Lord first. Peace lived inside of her as she took small steps forward to restore her relationship with her husband. She was hopeful for what might happen in the months ahead. Her faith this time, though, would not be in Eric, but in God.

Ava planned the perfect menu for a pastors' luncheon, and after three weeks, the event was finally here. As she prepared the meal in the kitchen of the Lanson Hotel, she missed her best friend. Wishing Rene was there to talk to, Ava finished the second round of appetizers and wrapped up the main course when nausea hit.

One of her assistant chefs walked over to her. “Are you okay? You don't look so good.”

She put her hand on her midsection. “Why don't you take over for a minute? I'll be right back.”

Pushing past two servers, she covered her mouth and zigzagged through the back hallway to the restroom. The smell of roast beef and potato hash aggravated her stomach. The noises coming out of her stall would've alarmed an ER doctor.

The woman next to her asked, “Ma'am, are you all right?”

“Yes, I'll be fine.”
I think.

“Okay. Just wanted to check.”

Ava held on to what was coming next until the lady washed her hands and left the restroom. After a few more belches, she got up from her bent-knee position and sat on top of the toilet. What did she have to eat that day? She bit her lip. Was her monthly visitor, as her mother called it, on its way? She frowned.
When was my last period?

“Couldn't be.”

“Couldn't be what?” a voice from two stalls over asked.

“Sorry, ma'am. Thinking out loud.” So much had gone on the last few weeks, Ava couldn't remember when she last traveled down the aisle in the grocery store most men try to avoid. Now she'd need to visit the aisle for a different reason.

Once Ava completed the dessert course and paid the crew she'd hired for the day, she bustled out of the hotel. She was almost home when she zoomed into the parking lot of a local drug store. Strolling down the female needs aisle, Ava peeked over her shoulder periodically to make sure no one she knew was in the store.

She grabbed three pregnancy tests and stuffed them under her arm. Ava snatched a bottle of water and threw it on the checkout counter as well. She needed to be sure she'd be able to complete the tests.

When she arrived at her apartment after purchasing the tests, she dropped her keys on the bar and bolted straight to the bathroom. She followed the printed directions step by step on the rapid results pregnancy test. After one minute had passed, she read the plus sign. Something had to be wrong with the test. It was only 99 percent accurate. Sure that she was the one percent, Ava quickly opened the second box and repeated the procedure. Same results. She planned to take the third test, but couldn't relieve herself anymore.
I should've drunk more water on the way home.

After cleaning everything up, she called Toni and told her to drop everything she was doing and come over as soon as possible. By the time Toni blew in the front door, Ava was on the couch in tears, holding the two positive tests.

“Ava, what's the matter?” Toni sat on the coffee table in front of her friend.

Ava could barely lift her head. “Everything.”

Toni reached for the indicators. “What's in your hands?”

Ava yanked them back before Toni could palm them. “You don't want to put your hands on those. I just used both of these pregnancy tests.”

“You did what?”

“You heard me right. I ran out of liquid or I would've taken a third test.” The third one probably would've read the same scary positive results. She dropped them on the floor, and cupped her hands over her face. “This can't be happening.”

Toni picked up the tests with her index finger and thumb on both hands, walked into the kitchen, and threw them away. She washed her hands and then sat next to Ava. “So are you thinking you're pregnant by Ishmael?”

“I'm not thinking, I know.” Her situation just kept getting worse and worse. She felt God was punishing her for her terrible choices in life.

“How can you be sure? Could it be X's?” Toni handed Ava a tissue.

“It's not. The last couple of months of our bootleg relationship, I chose to withhold sex from him. I was trying to do the right thing. So I'd have to be like nine months pregnant by now, about to give birth.” She wiped her tears. If only she could go back to that night of sulking and sipping wine and take a nap instead.

“I see.”

“It's Ishmael's. I cannot have the child of my best friend's ex-fiancé. That sounds like a bad soap opera. I can't go out like this.”

“Hold on now, Ava.” Toni put her hands over Ava's. “I don't like you talking like this. It's not the end of the world. We'll figure things out together.”

Ava pushed Toni's hands off of hers. “No. I'm serious. How can I show my face anywhere, pregnant with Ishmael's kid? I can't go to church. Or work. How embarrassing. And I can hear my mother going off in her colorful way. I can't handle it anymore. I should just dive into hell right now.”

“Ava, stop it. You are really scaring me. Now look, I don't want to hear you say another word like that. In fact, where's your laptop?”

“My what? What do you need with my computer?”

Toni rose up and looked around the room. “Because, I'm going to search Christian counselors in the area. I think you need to talk to somebody more qualified than me.”

Ava leaned back on the couch while Toni continued rummaging in the apartment until she found the computer. She placed it on the coffee table, lifted the screen, and turned the power on. Toni searched the Web as Ava stared at the ceiling and wept.

Her life was over. What kind of friend treated a close friend like she treated Rene? Ava understood God was a forgiving God, but how could even He forgive this act? And the poor innocent child that would be born into a world of mess. Its father, a no-good fool, and its mother, a backstabbing, promiscuous floozy. The child didn't stand a fighting chance.

After a few minutes, Toni said, “Ah ha! Here's a place close by. It's called the Christian Counseling Center, or CCC. It says here, they help people who need grief counseling, have drug dependency, and suffer from depression. Their slogan reads, ‘Changing lives, one at a time, with the Word of God.'”

“Well, I'm not grieving, addicted to drugs, or depressed. So what I'ma go for?”

“Are you kidding me? I'm taking over now. You just do as I say.” Toni clicked on a few links. “Here we go. Look, Ava.”

“I don't want to.”

Toni pulled Ava's head around by her chin. “I said look.” She turned the laptop toward Ava, but Ava looked away. “This is Dr. Glory Moses. That's a unique name. She's been at the CCC since it opened almost ten years ago and deals mainly with patients experiencing depression. She looks nice enough and she's a Christian. You need to give her a call. Do you hear me?”

“I hear you. But she's not going to be able to fix the fact that I'm pregnant by Ishmael. I've got to be the dumbest broad on the planet.” No one could repair her muddled mess. What did Toni know? Nope, what Ava needed to do was move across the country, maybe even overseas, change her name, and start a new life elsewhere. No Dr. Glory Moses was going to help her out of this chaos.

“Ava, you're not dumb. And you're not the first woman to make a mistake. You want what we all want. Someone to show us some attention and love us. Granted, it was with Ishmael, but we'll chalk that up to bad judgment mixed with good wine.”

“Whatever.” Ava grabbed her fleece blanket, and put her feet up, kicking Toni in the process. She had heard enough. Toni could leave now. Toni was trying to help, but she was trying to help someone who didn't want or need it. Ava just needed to be left alone. She could think more clearly after a nap.

“Oh, let me get out of your way.” Toni scooted over.

“Sorry, girl. I'm tired though. I'm going to lie down for a bit.”

“Well, I'm going to write Dr. Moses' number down and put it on the fridge. First chance you get, you call her. Do you hear me? I'm going to check and make sure you did. And if you don't, I'm going to call her for you. Got it?”

Ava sighed. “Got it.”

Toni stood and fumbled through her purse until she found a pen and a piece of paper. She copied the number down for Dr. Moses at the CCC. She marched into the kitchen and affixed the piece of paper under a magnet on the fridge. She walked over to Ava and kissed her forehead. “I'm here for you, girl. No matter what. Call me if you need me.”

“Will do.”

“It will get better, Ava. I promise.” Toni patted her on the shoulder. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” Ava lifted her head. “And, Toni?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.” She was grateful for Toni caring so much, but right then, tiredness overruled everything else.

“You're very welcome.”

Ava pushed out a half smile and pulled the blanket up, covering her head. Too bad she couldn't just as easily cover her sins.