PERSONAL: A Stepbrother Sports Romance (4 page)

RAMON

Fuck! This was bad. Real bad. I cursed at myself over and over again. I knew better than to bring anyone here. What was I thinking? I had steered her as far away from the plot of land as possible. Before she came, I went ahead and lit up dozens of hanging Cutter mosquito repellants across the wires from one tree trunk to another, all in an effort to disguise the strong smell.

Now, standing in the moonlight seeing the lit candles, and tiki torches, it looked like a party more than anything.

But it was that look on her face which made the situation worse. It was a look of mischief. Her eyes sparkled with mischief, their naughtiness only further enhanced with the fiery glisten of the candles in their reflection.

“I want to try it, Ramon. I’ve never done it before.” Her eyes continued to sparkle with naughty desire. Under any other circumstances, my cock would have twitched with excitement.

I hadn’t smoked pot since eighth grade. It was fun, and I did it with a few of my buddies in off season, but that was it. I was too focused on the game to jeopardize drug tests.

If I ever was going to light one up in the next decade or so, it would be this very month.

I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was her daringness, boredom, or dad’s text telling me he’d be home late tonight, which left me home alone yet again. It could have been stress from sucking it up in algebra, knowing I was going to flunk the test in a few days, and the realization that I needed to rest my brain. Whatever it was, it had won, and minutes later, we were sitting on a leather couch that rested under a big pecan tree and lighting up a joint together.

Moments later, my limbs felt like jelly, and I welcomed the easy relaxed feeling of no worries at all.

There we lounged on the couch, staring at the twinkling sky, two kids whose lives would change once we graduated.

“Dad’s dad had this land, but they didn’t take good care of it. They just owned it as an investment,” I explained. “Nestled back here like it is off road, you can see how it makes the perfect location for illegal activity.”

“Then, how did he get into this?”

“Dad was born in the seventies, in the middle of the marijuana boom. Maybe it was his destiny or something. I don’t know. But with his dad away in Vietnam, it left him to be a seeker at a young age. He hated what war did to families. Even though the war ended when he was young, he still had that imprint of his father’s PTSD from being overseas.”

I counted my fingers, really slowly doing the math. It felt like it was taking me forever to count. Fucking learning disability. I was trying to convey to her how old my dad was when he went to Peru but my brain wouldn’t focus.

Her green eyes were studied me intensely. Like reeeeeeally studied me.

“He was always fascinated with travel and reading these interesting books, so he went to Peru.”

“No way! That’s so cool. What did he do there?” The excitement in her voice was beautiful.

“He said he went to find himself. Have you ever heard of ayahuasca?”

She shook her head no.

“It’s like this drink that Amazon shamans have been using for centuries. They say they would use it to open secret windows to our soul. It’s supposed to lead to enlightenment and you can see things, or you can have terrifying things happen.”

“Are you shitting me?”

“It gets crazier. Just wait for it.” I held up my hand and burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, which she joined in naturally. We laughed and laughed without any idea as to what we were even laughing about. Then I sighed in contentment and stared at the twinkling stars.

“I’m waaaaaitinggggg…”

“On?”

“The story!”

“Oh yeah! Right.” I cleared my throat. “Damn ADD. Anyway. So, like, apparently during his trip, I guess you can say, some guy there liked his view on life and felt like he was really wise and could offer a lot of wisdom to where he lived in California.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was sort of invited to live in a Hippie commune in northern California. It was a place completely off the grid, off the map. It was a place where he wouldn’t have to work just to make money, but a place where he could explore life fully. So he thought, why not? It’s there he—”

“Wait, wait, wait , wait.” Her hands shot up. “You’re shiiiiiting me! This did not happen!”

“I swear to you. Remember Y2K?”

“No, we were like five or six or something then.”

“These people were convinced the whole world was about to go off the grid once the computers crashed. So they were preparing their new life and community years ahead of time.”

“You swear this happened?”

“Promise you. There are still places like this around you know. Anyway, this was before Google, so this place wasn’t locatable; you had to be personally invited. That’s where he met my mom. Moonshine.”

“Moonshine.”

We both cracked up laughing, and to be honest I hadn’t ever laughed like that with a girl. I was usually making out with them, or had my hand down their panties or in their bra cupping their tits. It was nice to relate like this with her. I never told anyone about my mother.

I was suddenly very aware that I was staring at her pink lips glistening in candlelight for a veeeeery long time. Either that, or it was the weed. I always thought she had perfect lips for…

“So where’s your mom now? I mean. We don’t have to talk about her if you don’t want.”

“I don’t know. I was dropped off by a stork.” I burst out into laughter again and she joined me. “For all I know I could be like, Superman or something.”

We laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world.

She slapped her leg and looked at me. “Suuuuuuuuperman! Totally!”

She gripped my shoulder laughing. It grip was firm against my muscles, and oddly, I liked the way she touched me. My eyes danced at her full pout again, dressed in all that sparkly strawberry pink lip-gloss. I wondered what it tasted like. They were total DSLs. Dick sucking lips as we jocks joked in the locker room. I shook my head. What was I thinking?

“But for real though, you were just dropped off in, like a literal basket?”

“Yep.”

“And your dad was sure it was his? I mean you were his?”

“Oh yeah.”

“How did she even find your house?”

“His letters he’d write home. He left one in his room accidently before he left. It’s funny, there on the first line would say DAD.” I laughed hysterically at that. “Dad! Like hey dad! No first or last name. But she knew it was his dad’s house.  After spending a half a year there, he decided to come back to Texas and start a business. They used to live up in Little Elm off Lewisville Lake, but they’d keep an eye once in a while on this property. Anyway…”

I trailed off as I realized I was talking a shit load. The truth was, with her, I wasn’t a football star. I was just a guy and I could shoot the breeze. I hadn’t taken anyone out here before; not even my best friend.

“You know, you’re really easy to talk to.”

“So are you. So, liiiiiike, your mom tracked your dad down?”

“My grandparents’ house down. Since that’s where he wrote the letters. And she delivered me on the door step.”

“Fuck, that’s insane.”

“Yep… yep it is.”

“And you haven’t heard from her ever since?”

I shook my head no, the night breeze shaking off nostalgia.

“What’s that like, having such a big role in your life, like a person that was meant to be there, to not be there?”

I shrugged my shoulders, laughing because she didn’t make sense to my stoned mind in the moment and all I could do was laugh. She joined me and our laughter sang to the creatures of the night. 

“You know, I don’t mean to sound all creepy, but you’re beautiful just the way you are, you know? You don’t need to change a thing about you?” I took the moment to look her in the eyes, briefly, before flitting them away into the distance.

“Thanks, Ramon. I just want to, like really reach my full potential, you know?”

I totally knew where she was coming from. I let her statement settle in the pre-spring air. I don’t know how long we remained quiet; when you’re high, everything seems like it’s a long time.

“I know I have to change my eating. I mean, with my mom’s salon and her business partner having the gourmet cupcake store freaking right next door, well, I haven’t always made the best food choices,” she shared. “I grew up around women, gossip, and plenty of sweets and homemade pies and cookies.”

“Man, you’re making me hungry.” My stomach threatened to rumble, another side effect of smoking.

“My mom doesn’t gain weight though. She has such a high metabolism. My mom also has a very busy life, one that she leads by choice.”

“You drive a pretty nice Audi.”

“Thanks. Dad left a few things for me in reserves in his will. He had our house paid off before his… death.”

The way she drew out that last part left me feeling like her open book was closing. I thought about changing the subject.

“What about you, Ramon?”

“What about me?”

“What are your grand plans?”

I loved talking to her like this. She was a girl who was actually fun to talk to. Relaxing like this out on this couch with the stars twinkling at us like this was something I couldn’t experience with another girl.

“Work my ass off. There’s no other option for me, like I said back in the gym. This is my fate – well, I
have
to make it my fate. Football’s tricky; you can play the game, but you have to make the grades. I wish school wasn’t so damn hard.”

“What do you mean?”

“I struggle bad with my studies. Barely even passed last semester. I feel so stupid, you know?”

Her face was genuinely concerned. “I don’t think you’re stupid. Anyone who can remember all the plays like you do, that’s not stupid. It’s pretty freaking genius.”

“I’m book stupid.” I took a deep breath, and all the memories of how I felt as kid in special ed class came flooding back to me. 

“I know what it’s like to feel hidden, not seen for who you are, what you really are.”

She gasped slightly at my confession. “You do? How’s that even possible? You’re like Channing Tatum. Hot. All the girls want you.”

“I have a learning disability. I used to be in special ed classes and at that time, I wasn’t looking like I do now. But those wounds are still with me. I still feel like the dumb kid who can’t even read or add numbers right.”

“Well, I would have never guessed that, Ramon,” she replied. “Sometimes our brains our wired special. And not everyone can throw the ball like you. You just have this last semester left and you’re a free man on the way to your football dreams. They’ll have the best tutors for you, you know that right?”

“Yeah. I’m failing right now though. Math.”

“Well, if you need help. I can help you, you know?”

“You’re funny and smart?”

“Well, I don’t want to brag.”

“And beautiful.”

She rolled her eyes like she didn’t believe me. “You just want to get in my panties. You say that to all the girls. I know alllllllll about you, Ramon Nicholas.”

She rubbed her tummy. “Man, is it just me? I’m suuuuuper hungry. Let’s make something in your kitchen. Do you live around here? I mean, you…”

I sobered up real fast, and scratched the back of ,my ear uncomfortably.

“You don’t want to see my house.”

“Why not?”

“Because. It’s hardly a house.”

“Aw, don’t be shy, Ramon. Does it have a fridge?”

“Yeah.”

“A stove? Plates?”

“Of course.”

“Then that’s all I need. Come on. Aren’t you like, freaking hungry? God, I’d kill for quesadillas right now. No, nachos. Noooo. Pizza.”

“All of those sound good right now.” My stomach was threatening to howl with hunger too.

“Just follow me then.”

CAT

I followed his lead, ever so careful where my feet tread. I had suddenly become super fearful that I’d step on a snake or spider; so much so that I grabbed his shoulder and cried out.

“Ohhhh…I’m going to die if I step on a snake!”

“Nah, I already killed this week’s snakes.”

“This week’s!?” My voice screamed out into the night.

“Of course, we live in Texas.”

We finally made it to a small trailer with a light lit. He sighed as he opened the screen door in front of the main door. Looking at me once more, he asked, “Are you
sure
you want to see where I live?”

“Of course. I’m starving. I don’t judge you, Ramon.”

“Alright…” He sang, opening the door to reveal a trailer that looked like it belonged on
Breaking Bad
or in the ‘90s.

I gasped. I couldn’t help it. There wasn’t an ounce of woman’s touch here.

“Gawd, I can’t believe I’m showing you my trailer. No one has ever seen this. Not even coach.”

“Why not?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“What is? Your dad works.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know if you’ve looked around or not, My dad is a hippie. As in, a major one. The type that doesn’t believe in money, and the monetary system. I’m lucky to even be in school.”

I couldn’t help but to laugh at the thought of Ramon being a hoodlum in the woods.

“But that gym? You know, that cost a pretty fortune.”

“Well, Dad’s spirit team encouraged him to foster my gifts of athleticism. I think he felt bad about mom smoking all that pot while pregnant with me. With my, um, learning disability.”

“Ramon, you don’t have to worry about a thing with me. Let me help you as you help me.” She broke out into laughter and I followed suit with her again. “Are you busy tomorrow night?”

“Besides training?”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

“Come to my house. Let me help you in math. I’m a whiz.”

“Okay… okay, let’s do it.”

“Ramon, your dad’s spirit team? What the fuck is that?”

“No clue. No fucking clue.”

We burst into laughter until our sides ached.