Persuasion (32 page)

“Is there something you'd like to tell me, Miss Lily?” Janie asked, hesitantly.

“No, of course, there isn't! Why should there be?”

“You've missed your monthly, Miss Lily.”

Lily stilled and felt her cheeks redden. She ducked her head. "Ah. It seems

that your first suspicion was quite correct then, Janie, wasn't it?” she

whispered.

“First suspicion?”

“The malady that I just couldn't be afflicted with? Pregnancy?”

Janie bit her lip and turned her head to stare out of her window. “Who's the

papa?” she asked softly.

“I doubt it's anyone you know, Janie,” Lily replied equally as quiet, her sigh

gentle as she thought of Dorian. Not that he'd been far from her thoughts

these four days past.

“Hasn't he called at the house?”

“No. He hasn't been one of my entourage, if that is what you're asking.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“Has he offered for you?”

“No.”

Janie hissed but Lily held up a hand and shook her head.

“It isn't like that, Janie.”

“Of course, it's like that, Miss Lily! It doesn't matter if he knows there's a

babe or not! He's taken your virginity, my lamb, he should have offered for

you. Devlin will have his hide, when he finds out.”

“That's exactly why I won't tell you, who the gentleman is. I know for a fact

that as soon as Devlin does find out, he will instantly seek you out and

demand you tell him who the papa is. I am saving both yours and the

father's hides!”

“He has the right to know, Miss Lily.” Janie chided. “He's taken your

innocence!”

“It was given with the greatest pleasure,” Lily retorted wryly and watched as

Janie flushed with discomfort. “He did not force me, Janie. I sought him out,

not the other way around.”

“It doesn't matter! He should have sent you on your way!”

Lily sighed. “Do be reasonable, Janie. What man in his right mind would do

that?”

“You're quite correct! No man! They're all beasts, all pigs the lot of them,”

the maid spat staunchly.

“Actually, this one wasn't. Or at least, I thought he wasn't.”

“That's right. And don't you believe that I've not known something like this

has been going on. Never seen you so down in the dumps, I haven't. I just

knew it had to be a man. Damned trouble causers, that's what they are!”

“Yes. I suppose they are, Janie. However, you mustn't say a word to

anyone. I'm going to visit with my mama and when the time is right, I shall

inform her of what has occurred. I won't prolong the agony, she needs to

know, if . . . if . . . . Well, you're sure that I am?”

Janie's head bobbed up and down. “Aye. Morning sickness, a missed

monthly and all those swift changes of mood! I just wish it weren't this way.

I've dreamed of this day ever since you were a babe. But I'd never imagined

it would be like this. The babe without a papa and you having to flee London

in case the gossips start to twitch!”

“Don't be ridiculous, Janie,” Lily snapped. “I'm not fleeing London and if I

was, which I'm not, I certainly wouldn't be doing so to escape the tabbies'

talk! I care not a whit of their opinion. I simply wish to return to Grantlake,

because it is time. I also am hoping that the freshness of the air will ease

my . . . morning sickness, you call it?” Janie nodded. “Yes, well, it's rather

unbearable. Some good country air and frequent promenades should do the

trick, I'm sure. It has already worked to some extent. I can only imagine

how my health will improve once I'm out of this damned carriage!”

Lily paused and looked out of the window once more. The weather was

turning. The morning had promised a bright day and now, storm clouds were

roiling in. She looked up at the sky with a grimace and then, let out a shriek.

“Grantlake! Grantlake, Janie! It's just over yonder! I can't believe it, I'm

almost home!”

Lily cheered and moved out of the way a tad as Janie peered out of the

same window, then let out a cheer of her own.

“My, you're right, Miss Lily, it will be good to be home, at last! I couldn't get

on with London. I know it's the place to be and all that, but I much prefer it

here. It's home, isn't it, miss?”

“It is indeed, Janie. It is indeed.”

Lily smiled and sat back. For the next twenty minutes or so, she kept her

eyes glued to the Grantlake's roofs and when finally, they were about to

enter the grounds of the estate, she let out a squeal of excitement.

Uncaring now, she opened the door to the carriage whose slow speed

ensured that she could easily do so and stuck her head out of the door.

“Miss Lily!” Janie chastised. “Get back in here!”

Lily jerked her arm from Janie's hold. “Stop it, Janie. I wish to see if mama

is in the dower house, that is all.”

“Let me look, then! Honestly, you can't behave like this no more, what with

you being in the family way!”

“Dammit, I'm not useless!” she retorted caustically and peered at the large

house which her mother had been inhabiting since before Lily had departed

for London. It was a two story property, double fronted and with a lovely

verandah that looked on to Grantlake's namesake, the beautiful lake. “I

think the curtains are closed.”

“Well, she'll be up at the big house then.”

“You think?” Lily asked and turned to look at maid. “I wish to speak with her

urgently, Janie.”

“Aye. As sad as your mama is, she wouldn't sit around with the curtains

closed. Not in the middle of the day!”

Nodding in agreement, Lily stuck her head out once more and grinned as

she was blasted with fresh air. "Canter home, John. Canter home!” she

shouted.

Swiftly, she shut the door with a bang and felt the lurch of the carriage as

the horses picked up speed. Her excitement kept her nausea at bay, just,

and before it could overcome her, the horses were finally pulling to a halt

outside the front entrance.

Lily jumped out without the aid of a footman and spun around in a circle of

glee. “It's marvelous to be here!” she cried out and watched as the butler,

Carter, rushed down the stairs with a pleased smile on his face.

“May I say, your ladyship, that it's marvelous to have you home, even if you

didn't write to let us know you were arriving today!” he commented and with

that, and a comical click to his heels, he snapped into order, charging the

footman with unloading the cases and directing the coachman to the stables.

She left Janie amongst the litter of luggage for with the butler, she would

coordinate the moving of all Lily's possessions to her apartment in the

house. Excitement bubbled through her and she rushed away from the

carriage and towards the front entrance to her family home.

Over four hundred years old, Grantlake had been the home of the Mercer

family for that entire period. Each Marquess had, like many a familial

property, added his own segment to the house and so, it was a melting pot

of times and styles, from Elizabethan aspects to Georgian.

It was a large house and almost C-shaped. Three floors high and so wide

that if one were to walk the entire breadth of the ground floor, it could take

one almost forty five minutes!

As she rushed up the ten carved steps, her eyes absorbed each marvelous

foot and with relish, she leapt through the fifteen feet high, carved wooden

doorway and into the front hall. In the very center of the large chamber, lay

the foot of the central arterial staircase and knowing that her mother was

more than likely in her salon, she rushed up the carpeted stairs and turned

to the left. After passing three doors, she opened the door without a knock

and almost ran into the room.

The jolting of the door being opened had her mother practically jumping out

of her seat and upon spying her beloved visage, Lily cried out. "Mama!” she

yelled, her face almost crumbling as the desire to cry overcame her.

She ran over, threw herself at her mother's feet and tucked her arms around

her mama's waist. The position was awkward and hardly comfortable but it

felt far too good to at last be with her wonderful parent to complain.

“Lily?” Julia Mercer asked in a slightly dazed voice.

“Yes, mama, it is I.”

For the first time in a very long while, Julia gurgled with laughter and freed

herself from Lily's hold to fall to the floor and embrace her only daughter

with a ferocity that Lily had truly mourned. Her mama had always been so

exuberant, so energetic and to see her once more like this was a gift from

God.

“What are you doing here?” Julia asked as she squeezed Lily within her

arms.

“I had to come home, mama.”

“Did London not suit?” Julia asked in a wry voice full of understanding. “Now

you can understand why your father and I stayed at Grantlake for the most

part, can't you?”

Lily paused, surprised at her mother's blasé mentioning of her father but

perhaps time had healed that particular wound somewhat. She hesitated

over mentioning her papa herself and bit her lip as she pondered her next

words. "Indeed. The air is quite revolting, mama. I hated it. I detested the

balls and the people. They're all so mean and vicious!”

“I know. But you understand that you had to see that for yourself, don't you,

my sweet? I couldn't deprive you of your Season. Even though it appears

that you have cut it quite short?”

“Indeed, I told Aunt Millie that I was leaving last week and she was not best

pleased.”

“I can imagine,” came the wry reply. “Your aunt was always one for the ton.

I could never really find a place within that kind of society. As you say,

there's a vicious side to it and it is a side that has never appealed to me.

Your aunt, however, has always been able to see the best in people, even

when there was very little to be found!”

“Yes, she has a very kind heart and I've been quite appreciative, but it was

time for home.”

“Is something wrong, my dear?” Julia eventually replied, having paused for a

good two minutes at least to study her youngest child with the rapier sharp

gaze of a mother lioness out to protect her, admittedly grown, cub.

“No! Why, of course not!” Lily swiftly answered, desperate to keep her

mother in such high spirits.

“You know . . . ,” Julie murmured conversationally, her hands stroking the

smooth locks of her daughter's hair. “I have always been able to discern

when you are lying.”

Lily stilled and sighed. Her mama was right, she had always known if Devlin

or Lily were lying. Even if their papa hadn't!

“Why are you truly come home?”

“You don't particularly want to know, mama,” Lily promised, her voice tired.

“If it involves my daughter, then naturally, it is of gross import to me,” she

replied staunchly.

“Can you ever forgive me . . . ,” Lily started, then broke off and buried her

face against her mama's shoulder.

“Of course, I can, but I can't tell you imperatively if I do not know what I'm

forgiving you for, now can I?” Julia said lightly. “And, my sweet, nothing can

be as bad as you believe it to be. After these months without your papa, I

can attest to that.

"I'm pregnant,” Lily whispered, her lower lip wobbling at the sordidness of

the entire situation.

Julia sighed. “I thought it would be something like that.”

Pulling away, Lily stared with surprise at her mother's easy acceptance. "You

did?”

“Yes. You've always been a difficult child.”

Lily scowled at her mama's swift and sure retort, but how could she deny it?

"I wish I could argue with you about that, but I can't. I was difficult and it

appears that little has changed,” she whispered miserably.

“Perhaps, but all is not lost. Will the father not marry you?”

“I-I do not know. Until today, when Janie said that I had missed my

monthly, I was not certain.”

“Well then, you must tell him. Write him and inform him he is to be a father.

He is . . . a gentleman?”

Lily nodded miserably. She stared over her mother's shoulder and looked out

on to the pleasant environs of her mama's salon. The wall opposite her was

painted a light duck-egg blue, it was paneled and in the center of the panel,

rested an authentic Roman urn. Roman antiquities had always been a

passion of Julia's and Lily's papa had indulged her. On each of the four walls,

in the center of a gilded panel, rested an authentic object from that period.

A small, stone deity.

An urn.

A large gold pendant of Hera, the Queen of the Gods and wife of Zeus, that

was framed.

And finally, a small bust of one of the Goddesses, Persephone.

In the center of the room was a large table, upon which lay a myriad

selection of her mother's books, complete with messy papers and an ink

blotter and pen, and a tea tray which had been severely depleted of biscuits

and tea. A matching gilt and mahogany chair was perched beneath the

table. Then, clustered around these central items of furniture, were two

armchairs in a rich navy blue linen at opposite ends of the room, which

looked on to the table. Before the hearth, was a settle, which her mother

had been sitting at before Lily had accosted her.