Petite Madeleine: Drew's Story (Meadows Shore Book 3) (18 page)

“I don’t understand why you need to stop in Fall River before we go to Meadows Shore. We could have picked something up for my grandmother in Boston. Flowers, candy … she’ll like whatever you bring her. You could even have baked her some pastry. Who wouldn’t love that?”

“Your grandmother prefers Portuguese food over all else. And I wouldn’t dream of bringing her flowers. Antonio plants gorgeous flowers every year in a cutting garden for her. Doesn’t he still do that?”

“Probably.” Antonio and his wife, Rosa, lived in one of the guesthouses at Meadows Shore. Antonio managed everything outdoors, and Rosa was in charge inside. They’d been part of his life for as long as he could remember.

“There’s a Portuguese market in Fall River that’s been written up several times, I know we’ll find just the right thing for her there.”

“Are you nervous about being back at Meadows Shore with my family?”

“No, I saw everyone at the wedding, and it was almost like old times. Why do you ask?”

“You spent a lot of time searching for the perfect toy for Lily, a one-year-old who’s favorite toy at Christmas was the wrapping paper. Then you ran all over town trying to find orange jellybeans for Luke, who’s an adult, by the way, or at least pretends to be. And now we’re going to Fall River for a present for my grandmother, whose tastes are pretty simple.”

“Don’t be a stick-in-the-mud. You’re going to love the market.”

Yes, she was nervous. His family didn’t know she’d had cancer, or that she was still being treated. Drew loved her, but he was close to his family, and if her experience with Ned’s family had taught her anything…

“This is it,” he said pulling into the crowded parking lot.

They walked around the market purchasing several items, not only for Avó Angelina, but also for themselves.

“You were right, this is a great find,” Drew said taking a big bite from a freshly made
malasada
, a Portuguese specialty. “You have to try this, it’s out of this world.”

She took a bite, licking the sticky sugar from her lips. “
Mmmm
, fried dough.”

“It is not fried dough.”

“Yes, it is.”

“It’s a
malasada,
not some carnival food
.
”

“Give me another bite.”

“Forget about it, you’re not getting another bite.
Fried dough.
Wait until I tell Vovó you compared a
malasada
to carnie food. Not even that pretty candy from the
Açores
you bought will make up for that kind of disrespect.”

* * *

“Cassia.” Vovó gave her a kiss on each cheek before pulling her into a warm embrace. “So beautiful, but too skinny. All you girls, skin and bones. It is not fashionable to eat anymore.”

“How are you? Drew says you never stop working.”

“Ah,” she waved her hand dismissing the idea. “They worry too much, like little old ladies. All of them.”

“I heard your great-granddaughter’s visiting.”

“Yes, Liliana. Children are the light in our lives. Maybe one day soon, Cole and Alexa,” she whispered conspiratorially. “And then the rest, I hope,” she crossed her hands over her heart. “First they get married. It is better that way, I am old fashioned, I guess. But babies are a treasure, no matter when they are born. How are your parents?

“Good. They send their best to you.”

“Your grandparents?”

“Yai-yai and Pappouli are doing great. I don’t see them as much as I’d like, it’s too hard for them to travel to the United States now.”

“Yai-yai wants a grandchild too, yes?” she asked pinching Cassie’s cheek.

Cassie felt Drew stiffen beside her. “Vovó, why are you talking about this?”

“I have embarrassed you? Good,” she said winking at Cassie.

“We’re going to go next door.”

“Alexa and Cole are not here yet,” Angelina warned.

Avó Angelina, as always, was speaking in a combination of Portuguese and English, which was not easy to understand, but Cassie had a feeling she knew what this was about. “We can go next door later,” she said to Drew.

Angelina beamed at her. “You can stay next door tonight if you wish. Alexa will be there, and she is a married woman, or you can stay here with the girls.”

“I think I’d like to stay here,” she said, earning herself a “what a nice girl,” look from Angelina and a low growl from Drew.

“Is it okay to take a walk on the beach with my girlfriend, or do we need a chaperone for that, too?”

“Definitely a chaperone,” called Cole from the kitchen doorway.

“Hey,” Drew said, reaching for Alexa first, and then his brother. “Thank goodness you’re here, because Cassie’s not allowed next door without Alexa there to protect her virtue,” he said dryly.

Cole’s eyes were twinkling madly while he admired his wife over his shoulder. “Don’t worry, she’ll be too busy with my business to interfere in your business.”

Alexa poked her husband from behind. “I heard that.”

* * *

“Sorry about all that baby talk with my grandmother, she doesn’t know … that …”

“That what?”

“That you’re not going to have babies.”

She stopped dead in her tracks. “I haven’t made that decision, yet.”

“Cassie…”

“We have less than twenty-four hours here with your family. Let’s not spoil it by talking about things we may or may not have any control over.”

He cupped her face, and slid his tongue over her lips until she acquiesced, kissing him back. Gripping her hips tightly, he pulled her in until she could feel how hard he was for her.

She had her sassiest look on. “You know, just because we’re not talking about making babies, doesn’t mean we can’t practice making them, with a condom, you know. Just so you don’t get rusty.”

“Rusty, huh?” He lifted her off the sand and flung her over his shoulder, running toward the water while tossing his wallet on the beach behind him, and plunged them both into the ocean fully clothed.

With her legs wrapped around his waist, he treaded water, keeping them both afloat. His hands and mouth were busy, taking them both near the edge.

“We can’t out here—without a condom. It’s too risky. Just because I don’t get my period, doesn’t mean I can’t get pregnant.”

“First of all, I have a condom. I don’t go anywhere without at least one in my pocket when you’re around, and second, I would never do anything to hurt you, baby. I could never get that carried away. I just wanted to taste the salt on your skin after you’d been in the ocean.”

She squeezed his shoulders. “Taste away.”

* * *

They relaxed on the beach around a large bonfire the guys had built earlier in the day. “I’m glad you’re staying with us tonight, Cassie,” Juliana said, sliding closer to her. “But you could’ve stayed next door. My grandmother wouldn’t have cared, as long as Alexa’s there.”

“Told you,” said Drew.

“I know, but it would have made her a little uncomfortable. This is better. Did you see how relieved she was when I said I’d stay with the girls? I think she feels some responsibility to my parents.”

“Yeah, I’m real glad we could make her so happy.” He poked her in the ribs.

“It’s better than staying over there with you guys, anyway. It’ll stink to high heaven by the end of the weekend, if it doesn’t already.” Juliana looked over at Alexa. “Sorry.”

“I’ve gotten used to the smell of testosterone that permeates the place when these guys are all home.”

“And she loves the manly smell,” her husband said gripping the back of her head and stealing his tongue into her mouth until his brothers began throwing marshmallows at them and calling for a hose.

“Maybe we could take the master suite, and do something special in there, like we did at our house.” Helena had led the efforts in turning her parents’ master bedroom into a bride’s room, right before Sophie and Max were married. The result was beautiful, and it transformed the room that once held so much joy into an integral part of their lives again.

“A bride’s room?” Jake said with a wrinkled nose.

“No. It doesn’t have to be a bride’s room. A females-only room. A feminine oasis just girly enough to keep out stinky gym socks.”

“Mm-hm, I like that idea. A place to get away from the guys, read, maybe nurse a baby away from the clutter and the noise.” Helena’s mind was working overtime.

“No! Can’t you mind your own goddamn business, ever? Do whatever you want in your house, but leave our house alone.” Cassie nearly fell off Drew’s lap during his outburst. Everyone else stared at him slack-jawed. He rarely raised his voice to anyone, let alone to Helena, who no one ever raised their voice to.

There was no question something very strange had happened around the bonfire, and only Cole and Alexa didn’t seem totally baffled by his behavior.

Although Cassie looked mighty uncomfortable.

* * *

It was happening, exactly what she feared might happen, and her gut told her there was more to come. It was a rerun of what had occurred with Ned and his family. She’d seen their happiness evaporating right in front of her. For a minute, she wanted to run down the beach where no one could see her flaming cheeks, and a small part of her even regretted that she’d come. She tugged on Drew’s arm. “Let’s take a walk on the beach.”

He didn’t hesitate when she popped out of his lap. “We won’t be gone long,” she told them.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at Helena like that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

“All the talk about babies and nursing. Cassie, I don’t want you to feel bad or anxious around my family.”

“There wasn’t ‘all that talk.’ Your grandmother made one comment earlier, and Helena made another. I didn’t feel bad or anxious either time, but maybe you did, and you’re projecting your feelings onto me.”

“Come on, Cass. I think I’ve made my feelings on the subject abundantly clear.”

“I think you’ve told me what you believe I need to hear, and what you want to believe yourself. Not necessarily what you do believe, because I don’t think you’ve spent more than a few seconds here and there really thinking about what it means not to have children.”

“Cassie…”

She lifted her hand, “Let me finish. I think you’re scared, and you try to protect me in every way you can, not just my feelings.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You worry about carcinogens everywhere. I went to wash a shirt the other day and you’d thrown out my bleach and replaced it with some natural bleaching agent that doesn’t work. And you got rid of my toilet bowl cleaner. I still bleach my whites, and I prefer my toilet without mold growing in it. That’s carcinogenic too, you know… And once in a while, when we make love, I feel like you’re doing a breast exam.”

He stared at his feet, kicking the sand.

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

“That’s just happened once or twice.”

“That isn’t good, Drew. It’s an offshoot of the weird behavior I told you about. I keep telling myself it’s a normal stage you’re passing through, but I feel like I need to say something to you, because it’s getting weirder. And less acceptable to me.”

“I want to take care of you. I need to.”

“No, not like that.” She cupped his face. “We have to take care of each other, and we each have the responsibility of taking care of ourselves. You can’t run interference for me through life. Yes, there will be times when each of us is vulnerable, and that’s when the other will need to step in and pick up the slack.”

He placed his hand over hers.

“I know you want to take care of me. I want to take care of you, too. But would you like it if I followed you around, made sure that you were keeping your stress levels low so it didn’t overwhelm you. How would that feel?”

“I’d love it if you would follow me around every day so I could get a little sugar any time I wanted to.”

He brought her hand to his mouth, and she raised her eyebrows.

“Okay—okay, I get it. It would be smothering. I’d start to feel like you didn’t trust me, like I wasn’t capable of taking care of myself.”

“
Hmmm
. That pretty much sums up how I feel.”  She slid her arms around his neck. “There is something you can do for me.”

“What’s that?”

And she whispered the naughtiest words that had ever come out of her mouth into his ear, and then took off down the beach running, with him hot on her heels.

By the time they returned, everyone was cleaning up, and Luke and Will were dumping water and sand on the fire.

“I’m going to stay over at the Claytons’ tonight,” Alexa whispered to Cole, who pulled her down with him onto a chair. “Cassie’s going to need some support.”

“She seems fine now.”

“You think your cousins are just going to let Drew’s outburst go. That was completely out of character for him. Now if that had been you,” she teased, wiggling her bottom in Cole’s lap.

“My damn brothers, never a shortage of problems with them.” He brushed his nose against hers. “Thank you. And if you don’t stop wiggling your ass, I’m going to take you on the sand right here, and I won’t care who’s watching.”

“Liar. You do so care who’s watching.”

“I wouldn’t press the issue—or anything else, if I were you.”

“You can thank me properly tomorrow. Or maybe I’ll sneak up the back stairs later tonight and into your bed. It’ll be something new and different, your wife sneaking into your bed instead of some … what’s that Portuguese word your grandmother uses, when she thinks no one’s listening, to describe the lovely young women you guys have sneaked up the back stairs?”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, sliding his tongue over her ear.

* * *

Alexa noticed Max pouting, too, when Sophie sent him off to bed alone. Must be something about the ocean air that made everyone feel like a randy teenager.

“God, what was that with Drew?” Ella asked, pouring herself a glass of wine. Just like Alexa had suspected, it was the first topic on the agenda.

“I didn’t realize he’d be so sensitive about Aunt Maggie and Uncle Nick’s room being renovated.”

The sisters bantered about Drew, eyeing Cassie closely for some time before finally coming right out and asking, “What’s up with him, Cass?”

At first, she didn’t say anything, and Alexa wondered what was going through her mind. Just when she’d decided to run interference, Cassie spoke.

“It has nothing to do with his parents’ bedroom…” Alexa watched Cassie’s chest expand and heard her breath deepen, from across the table. “It’s because I’m a breast cancer survivor, and I may not be able to have children.” She took another long breath. “Drew was trying to protect me, and maybe he was trying to protect himself, too.”

The room was quiet for what seemed like an eternity while everyone appeared to be digesting the information.

“How long ago did you discover the cancer?” Sophie asked.

“Right after graduation. I had a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. I’m still being treated with oral medication. It’ll be about another three years before I’m completely done. It was a tough time in my life, but I’d pretty much put it behind me until Drew and I reconnected. Any time you begin a new relationship, you need to tell the story before…”

At this point, Cassie’s eyes were glazed over, and she was rambling.

Juliana squeezed Cassie’s hand, “You’re a brave woman. I’ve always admired that about you.”

“That’s a long time to be cancer-free. It’s awesome, and so encouraging,” Sophie chimed in.

“There are no guarantees about my health … and I understand if you feel differently about Drew and me being back together now you know this. It’s common. And Drew had such a hard time after his parents and your parents died. I know no one wants him to…”

Alexa started to get up and go over to Cassie, but Ella beat her to it.

She looped both arms around Cassie. “Drew is lucky to have found you again. You’re perfect for him, and we love having you back in our lives.”

Talia reached for Cassie’s hand. “Anything can happen to anyone, at any time. You don’t need to be sick. There were lots of people with terminal illnesses on the day my parents passed. Mom and Dad were completely healthy, but despite that, they were the ones who died that day. That’s just the way life is.”

Cassie didn’t bare her soul to them that night. There’d be other nights for that. But she seemed a little lighter because she’d opened up, and moved past what she’d clearly worried would be a huge bump in the road.

The Clayton sisters were protective of their own, and tough, much tougher than their male cousins. Cassie had let them know it was okay to be concerned, but the funny thing was, they weren’t, or at least they didn’t seem to be.

At that moment, Alexa was so incredibly proud to be a member of this family. And then she wondered if the Harrington brothers would be as comfortable with the news.

* * *

“What the fuck was that over there with Lainey?”

“It wouldn’t be so bad to do something with that room. Make it a more inviting place, fill it with happiness again. No one steps foot in there now.”

“Jesus, Drew, Mom would have loved that idea.”

“It’s not about the room,” Cole told his brothers. “You need to tell them what it’s about.”

Drew shot him daggers. “You couldn’t open your damn mouth when it was important, now you can’t keep it shut.”

“Oh, I can keep it shut. But I guarantee that’s not what’s going on next door. Why the hell do you think my wife’s sleeping over there tonight? It sure is hell isn’t because she can’t stand to be in my bed.”

“Yeah, no one would ever think that,” said Jake. “I hope you behave better when you’re visiting her family, otherwise her father is going to lay a well-deserved beating on you.”

“We’re married.”

“So what? You enjoy watching Max slobbering all over Sophie like some horny bastard? They’re married, too.”

“Cassie has breast cancer.” Drew blurted it out of nowhere, and it hit like a sucker punch, leaving them all reeling.

“Had,” said Cole.

Drew nodded. It was a slight head movement, more like a tremor. “All the talk about babies. She can’t have kids, or at least she shouldn’t. She’s not going to.”

“Has she made that decision?” asked Cole.

“Well, no … not exactly.”

Cole raised an eyebrow. “You’ve made it for her?”

Drew shrugged.

“That attitude’s going to take you far, real far.”

Everyone else was still quiet, trying to process what Cole and Drew were blabbering about. Finally Will spoke up, in typical Will fashion, with the left side of his brain fully engaged. “I guess I don’t understand what breast cancer has to do with having a baby.”

“It’s complicated. Hormones, and a bunch of other crap. It might be too dangerous. There’s just not a lot of scientific research on it.”

“Breast cancer is pretty serious.”

“Yeah. Especially in young women,” Drew whispered.

“It could come back. Kill her. You up for that?” Luke asked.

“That is the stupidest question any human being ever asked in the history of the world. Do not dignify it with an answer.” Cole glared at his youngest brother.

“I love her, and I’m up for anything where she’s concerned.”

“You don’t need to be sick to die, if you remember.” Of course, Will would still be clinging to logic.

“What’s the deal?” Mark asked Cole.

“Ask him.”

“You're a doctor.”

“Tonight I’m a brother, just like you.”

“I’m going to bed,” Drew said.

Mark watched his brother stand on legs that seemed like they might buckle at any minute. He looked beaten. “You know Vovó gets all hot and bothered about us sneaking women in here. Betcha nobody watches the side door of the little angels next door. You could probably find your way inside to be with Cassie.”

“The side door’s unlocked. I thought you might want to go over and say goodnight,” said Alexa stepping onto the porch. “They just went up to bed. Cassie’s in the bedroom near Juliana’s.”

She kissed Drew on the cheek. “It went well over there,” she whispered, “but I’m sure she could use a hug, and you look like you could use one too.”

They watched Drew’s long stride become a jog as he made his way next door.

“I don’t know about this. I think it’s a bad idea.”

“A really bad idea.”

“Yeah, he needs to cut her loose.”

Cassie looked at each of her brothers-in-law while they offered their unsolicited opinions about Cassie and Drew’s relationship. “What do you think?” she asked Will, who was the only one aside from Cole who hadn’t offered an opinion, and she already knew what her husband thought.

“I’m not sure.”

“This isn’t something you need to examine like a trade bill. This is Drew. Remember the last time someone he loved died? We almost lost him, too. This doesn’t require any thought.” Luke was uncharacteristically snarky.

Alexa had enough. “Well, you want to know what I think? I think you’re a bunch of selfish bastards.”

They all stared at her for a couple of long minutes, wondering who this woman was, and what had she done with Alexa.

“He’s not your brother—”

“I am not finished.” She had both hands on her hips while she studied each of their faces.

They all looked over at Cole, who simply held his hands up in a
don’t get me involved in this discussion. I’m just happy she’ll be in my bed tonight, and I plan on keeping it that way
, gesture.

“Cassie and Drew love each other. Even after all those years apart, they never stopped loving each other. Love isn’t just about the pretty and shiny. If Cole gets sick tomorrow, I’d never leave his side, and if I get sick, I’m sure he’d never leave mine. No one knows who’s going to go first, no one but God. Drew is stronger, much stronger, than he was when your parents died, and he’s even stronger with Cassie by his side.”

“You don’t know that,” Luke snarled.

“I know plenty, and I think you’re all scared for yourselves as much as you are for him. You’re scared because you really like Cassie, you’ve always liked her, and if she’s around all the time, you know that you’ll grow to love her, too. And you’re not sure if you can cope with watching her get sick or die, so you want Drew to send her away, even though she might be the best thing that’s ever happened to him. If I get sick tomorrow, is that what you’re going to ask Cole to do, send me away so you won’t have to watch me die?”

The grown men squirming on the porch were a sight to behold. Especially this particular group of men.

“It’s natural to want to protect your brother, and yourselves, from pain, but you need to suck it up. This isn’t about you. And if you can’t accept their love, if you can’t accept Cassie, then just keep your mouth shut and put a big smile on your face. Fake your feelings if you have to, you know, the way you do when you’re trying to get into some woman’s panties.”

She bent down and put her lips smack on Cole’s mouth, “Don’t be long,” she whispered.

“Don’t worry, tiger.”

No one said a word as she opened the door and went inside.

“
Jesus
, is she always like that?”

“Always, no. But she’s not afraid to kick a little ass every now and then.”

“No wonder she gets along so well next door.”

“I liked it a hell of a lot better when it was just us around here. When we made our own decisions, took care of each other without women meddling.”

“When was that, when we didn’t have women meddling in our business?” asked Cole.

“She’s right,” Will said quietly.

“Yeah. I guess.” Jake muttered. He was probably more influenced by Will, than by any of his other brothers.

“Maybe.” Mark wasn’t quite ready to concede, not where Drew’s mental health was concerned.

“What is it with you guys? Harrington genes? Don’t mind putting yourself or anyone else in the way of a free fall. With all the women around he could dip his dick into, he has to pick one with breast cancer.” Luke was in rare form tonight.

“She’s been in complete remission for nearly seven years,” said Cole. “And I’d keep that opinion to myself if I were you, or at the very least I’d reword it.”

“Seven years, well that means it’s about ready to come back.” Luke snatched his beer off the table in front of him and took a long swig.

“What are you, a fucking oncologist, now?”

“You don’t need a medical degree to know breast cancer always comes back to kill.”

“Well that’ll be news to the scientists working in the field. Maybe you’d like to publish a scholarly paper about it.”

“You weren’t here with Juliana and Vovó after they died. None of you were here, but I was. Juliana told me sometimes it hurt so much she wished she could just go to sleep and not wake up. I slept on the floor of her room for a goddamn month after that.”

Luke shot to his feet, towering above his brothers. “You didn’t feel like shit when you went off to college, because you left them here alone. I walked in one afternoon when school let out early, and Vovó was shelling beans with tears streaming down her face. When she saw me, she wiped her face with the corner of her apron and gave me some bullshit about beans making you cry like onions.” He turned to Cole, “And remember when you picked Drew up from college? Remember the condition he was in? Well, I do. Like it was yesterday.”