Phantom Scars (17 page)

Chapter 34 - Service with a Twist

I woke the next morning with Emma lying up on my bare chest. I realized her shirt, or my shirt that she was wearing, was open in front, so we were skin to skin, and that was not something my lower body needed to think about right now. My girl was not ready, so I could wait. I would make myself wait. I had to admit that I did indulge slightly, running my hand up the back of her shirt, feeling the smooth ridges of her scars. It helped me remember that she was beautiful but still broken. We needed to wait.

The warmth of my hand caused her to stir. She shifted down, straddling me, and rubbed herself against me. I grabbed her hips, stopping the movement. I was going to have a very big problem this morning. I carefully cradled her head and rolled her over onto the bed. I decided I would get up and cut some fruit to help things settle down in my pants.

I headed to the kitchen and started the coffee maker. I decided I would bring her some breakfast in bed. I pulled out a few pieces of fruit, getting ready to concentrate on sculpting them into something beautiful for my love. I didn't want her to feel bad for not being ready. I wanted her to know that I was truly okay with waiting.

I glanced at the clock and realized it was past lunchtime and decided to make her a more substantial meal. I worked on a stir fry, cutting the peppers and carrots into heart shapes, so she would know I loved her. I did something silly with the fruit and carved faces into an apple and an orange. I stuck a piece of red pepper in the apple's mouth, making it look like it was sticking out its tongue and decided to give her a side of raspberries as a joke. The apple was blowing raspberries at her. I hoped it would make her smile.

I had just finished putting silly little carrot hands on the apple, when there was a knock on the door. I set the food on a tray and went to answer the door. I was surprised to see Paige and Clark standing there. Paige pushed her way in. "Oh, that smells good, do you have any more?" she asked making her way into the kitchen.

Clark looked a little stiffer and glared at me sternly.

"Oh, Clark, honey, look at this. Look what he made for her." She brought out the tray I had just prepared for Emma. "See, I told you he’d treat her right," she said smiling at me.

Clark didn't smile.

"Is she up yet?" she asked.

"No, she had a rough night, so she's still sleeping," I said, and Clark narrowed his eyes at me. It suddenly clicked in my head. I knew why he was mad at me. "She wasn't ready!" I said.

"What?" Paige asked.

"Look, we're okay with the way things are, she wasn't ready, and I'm fine with that."

"So, you just forced your way in, not making sure…" Clark started at me.

I cut off his rant. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, we didn't have sex! We didn't do anything other than kiss, and I held her while she cried and fell asleep. She wasn't ready, and I'm not going to push her. I love her, we're waiting!" My voice cracked in my panic, and I was worried Clark was going to snap and kill me, like I had been expecting all along.

He let out a relieved sigh, and Paige let out a groan. "Oh, Devin, I'm so sorry. Why don't I go talk to her?" she started toward the door, but I stopped her.

"Ms. Paige, please don't talk to her. I don't want her feeling bad, it's not her fault she's still working through some stuff, and I'm alright with that."

"Right," Clark chimed in. "Leave them be, Paige, the boy knows what he's doing," he said grabbing her. "We'll be back later for our stuff," he said and headed for the door.

"Your stuff?" I heard my wife ask from our bedroom door.

We all turned around to see her standing there, wrapped in my shirt and looking worried.

"Waited, huh?" Clark complained.

"Dad, did you expect me to sleep in my dress?" Emma asked.

He just frowned.

"What we do or don't do is up to us," she said firmly, as I wrapped my arm around my girl. "We've decided to wait, and when we do change our minds, it'll still be none of your business then, either."

Paige was smiling widely, and I had to admit, I was proud of my girl as well. I knew it was hard for her to stand up to her dad.

"That's right, baby. You tell him," Paige cheered, and Clark glared at her.

"We're flying out tonight. We're heading back to Arizona. You know where to find us if you need us," Clark said looking at me seriously. I wondered if he truly believed I hadn't had my way with his daughter. I guess at this point, it really didn't matter.

Once they were gone, I led Emma back to bed and brought her the tray. "I'm sorry it's a little cold now. Your parents kind of interrupted me as I was preparing it."

She leaned up and kissed my cheek, giggling at the silly fruit. "It's perfect."

We spent the rest of the day in bed, talking and feeding each other fruit. Her fingers and lips were stained red from the raspberries, and she looked just delicious. I kissed her over and over, sucking and nibbling the sweet juices from her skin. She ended up pushing me back against the bed and straddling me, pressing her hips down into me in the most wonderful way. I was panting hard and realized I needed to stop if we were going to wait. I didn't want to lose it in my shorts. That was not a fun mess to clean up.

She moaned and squirmed, when I grabbed her hips. "Please," she begged, but I wasn't sure what it was she wanted. I released her, moving my hands down her legs, and she ground into me again, panting hard. "Oh, so good," she whispered.

My eyes popped open wide, my wife was getting off on me. Holy Moly! I was rock hard instantly to the point of aching.

"Yes, oh, yes," she moaned against my lips, feeling the change in my body. She started kissing on my neck and nibbling my ear. Her breathing hard like that was going to set me off. The soft material of the dress pants I was wearing left nothing to the imagination.

I grunted like an inexperienced idiot. I couldn't catch my breath. I was breathing hard, but still trying to taste her skin. "Please, oh, I'm, ugh..." I begged, not wanting to cum in my pants. Then she really surprised me, taking my hand and putting it on her breast. My body bucked up, as I squeezed it softly, brushing against the peak. She moaned louder, and so I did it a few more times, and then she stiffened on me. I looked at her in awe, as she threw back her head and called out  my name.

Her words were my undoing, and I ended up losing it in my pants, but I suddenly really didn't care. We were both breathing hard, as I laid her back on the bed, kissing her skin lightly. Her neck was sweet and salty with sweat, and I loved the taste, lapping it up like a puppy.

She grabbed my face and kissed me softly. "Slow," she panted, "I want to move forward, but we need to take things slow. Will this be enough for you for now?" she asked, her eyes looking worried.

"Always, just don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, I want to stay your safe place," I whispered, worried she had gone too far.

She smiled. "It was good, I liked it, and it'll still give me time to get over the fear of losing my virginity."

"I know, baby, it's okay, we'll work on it together." I kissed her forehead.

"So really, that was okay?" she asked worried.

I kissed her softly. "It was amazing. Thank you for sharing that with me."

She still looked worried.

"Hey, look at me," I said pulling her face up to mine. "We're learning this stuff together, right? All of our firsts are with each other," I said kissing her gently. "You're all I'll ever want. You're always enough for me," I reassured her, and I knew she always would be.

Chapter 35 – Light from a Dark Cloud

Things with Emma were moving slowly, but I was fine with that. She had been seeing Warren a lot, and I had to admit, it made me a little uneasy that my wife was talking to my momma's boyfriend about sex. That just sounded wrong on so many levels.

She started another notebook, and I hadn't seen anything in this one yet. The fact that Warren looked a little weary when he left my apartment didn't make me feel any better, either. I knew my girl was a virgin, but as Clayton so kindly pointed it out; there was a lot you could do and still be a virgin. He meant it to be encouraging, but I twisted it around in my mind, and now I was freaking out. I was terrified that someone had touched my wife when she had been taken.

When she was not writing in her notebook, she was in my momma's office doing schoolwork. I figured at this rate, she would be graduating way ahead of her class. I tried to keep myself busy, and the bridge club did serve as a good distraction.

Ever since Emma had pointed out Lottie's fascination with my backside, I had been tempted to see if I would get a bigger tip if I shook it a little. Turned out I did. Jennifer saw what was going on and told me to watch out, or they would be coming at me with ones and tucking them into my pockets and waistband if I wasn't careful.

Truth was, we could use the money. Being a busboy-slash-waiter didn't pay so well, and I was nervous about leaving on another ship run. Those lasted for months. I knew Captain Towers would be coming by soon, wanting me to help secure a crew for the next run. The problem was I wasn't sure I would be on it.

I finished up my shift and took Emma home. She wasn't meeting with Dr. Greyson tonight, so we settled in for a quiet night alone. Emma surprised me by bringing out her notebook. This one was black, and I had a feeling it was fitting. She sat down next to me and looked up at me nervously.

"Do you remember Tatiana? She was the one who gave me the peanut butter."

"Yes," I answered worried.

She opened her notebook. "Remember that she was trying to keep them away from me? She really was keeping me safe," she said, as she slipped the notebook into my hands.

I hadn't been there a week, when Oscar opened my cell. Luke came in to give me a bath, which really meant he was hosing me down. They never did give me any clothes once they stripped me. Oscar had shut the door, leaving me alone with Luke. I knew I wasn't supposed to be left alone with him. I had overheard Dante insisting that I not be left alone with anyone. My innocence was to be preserved. It was what made me so valuable.

I knew I was in trouble, when he started aiming the hose at my private areas. He started yelling at me to touch myself, but I didn't want to. He slammed me to the ground, and I was terrified he was going to rape me. Suddenly, the door was flung open, and I could hear Dante yelling. Oscar pulled Luke off of me, and Dante called for Tatiana. I had some bad scrapes from the cement floor. He ordered her to put some cream on them to prevent scaring. He wanted me perfect for my sale.

Once she returned, things got bad. She rubbed the cream on my sores as Dante watched. He seemed to be getting turned on and started to order Tatiana to touch me. She leaned down and whispered to me to fake like I was enjoying it. That way, things would go faster, and she would do her best to help me. I was lying on my stomach, so instead of touching my breasts like she was told, she just rubbed between them, and I did as she said. I felt a hand on my backside, but it wasn't hers.

"
You don't want to risk disturbing her hymen do you?" Tatiana said.

I heard her startled squeal, and then I felt her being positioned over me. "You’ll touch her, while I imagine I'm plowing into her," Dante demanded.

I didn't want to look at what Dante was doing to her. I felt guilty for being glad it was her and not me, for being relieved when he took his hand off of me. She was told to touch me and then told to push a finger into the same place as he had one in her. I didn't know where that was, but then I felt pressure between my cheeks. She hadn't entered me, but I guess she made it look like she did. Suddenly, he gripped her hand and pushed it harder into me. Dante was swearing and encouraging her to keep going. He told her to touch my chest again, and she once again avoided doing it but made it look like she was. She was saving me from the hell that could have been. She was taking what she knew I couldn't. I fought the tears, because I knew this wouldn't be the last time this happened to me. I silently pleaded to be saved, and that if I had to stay, that Tatiana would always be there to take it for me. Unfortunately for her, she was. I still don't know where she is. I hope wherever it is, she is safe and free.

I sat there stunned, trying to control my emotions. I had hoped she had escaped unscathed, but I was starting to see that was not the case. My poor girl had been hurt so badly it just broke my heart. I pulled her up into my lap and hugged her tightly to me. I kissed her head. "I'm so sorry," I whispered to her, but she didn't speak.

We sat like that for a while, before it was time for bed. My girl started dozing off in my lap, so I carried her to the bedroom and set her on the bed. What she did next took me by surprise. She stood up, walked over to her dresser, and she undressed in front of me. Her back was to me, but still, she took off her shirt, slipped off her bra and then wiggled out of her pants.

I pried my eyes off of her and went to the bookshelf for my clothes. I rested my head on them, but started to undress as well. I was standing in my boxers, getting ready to put on my sleep pants, when I felt her hand on me. It started on my back and moved to my chest, and then I felt her press herself against me. I was breathing hard. She had not dressed yet, and I was trying to control myself. Her warm flesh was pressed against my back, as she rested her head on me.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I swallowed hard. "For what, honey?" I asked.

"For being okay with it."

Now she had confused me. I turned around and looked down at her, doing my best to focus solely on her face. "Okay with what, baby?" I asked.

She blushed. "That they…" She closed her eyes.

I pulled her into a hug. "Hey, baby," I wrapped her in my arms tighter. "Please, honey, don't be upset. It wasn't your fault you were taken and hurt." I wiped her tears from her cheek and kissed it. "Hey, I love you, and nothing will change that."

She smiled at me, and then I saw her eyes shift to my lips. I leaned in slowly but unsure. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, deciding to let her close the distance, and she did.

The kiss started out slow and sweet. Her hands tangled up in my hair, and I groaned as she tugged on it and tickled my neck. I pulled her tightly against me, but I knew I had to stop, before things got out of control. I stepped back, breathing hard and closed my eyes, as I rested my forehead against hers.

Of course, she wasn't helping matters. I felt her hands run down my bare chest to the edge of my boxers. I was sure she could see me straining against the fabric. I needed to take a cold shower, or chop fruit or something.

"Devin," she said my name softly. I gulped and looked into her eyes, pleading for her to understand that I needed to pull away, but not because I didn't want her.

Then I felt her hand. She gripped me through my shorts, and I groaned as my knees buckled. My head fell to her shoulder. "You don't have to…" I breathed, "I can…"

She lifted my chin and caught my lips with hers. I felt her pulling on me, directing me toward the bed. I didn't know what she had in mind, but I was worried it would be too much for her. "Come on," she coaxed me up on the bed.

"Honey, we don't…"

She squeezed me firmly, cutting me off.

"I want to," she said kissing my neck. "As long as I'm in control, I should be fine."

I looked up at her worried. "Are you sure?"

She smiled, sliding down my body. "Yes."

She touched me through my boxers, as she sat perched on my legs. Her pert breasts bounced, as her arm moved against me. It didn't take long. In fact, it was so fast it was shameful. I was grunting and bucking up into her hand, and then I froze, as I made a mess in my shorts.

When I looked up at her face, she looked so proud of herself. "I did it."

"Yes, you did." I let out a chuckle. "Is there anything else you wanted to try?"

She shook her head no. "Not tonight. I just wanted to see if I could be naked with you and touch you."

I smiled at her, sitting up and kissing her lightly on her lips. "You did great, honey. Thank you for trying."

She wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheek, as I did my best to ignore her naked breasts against me. "Thank you for being patient with me."

"Always, I love you," I said with sincerity. "Of course, as much as I love you, I do need to go clean this up," I said pointing to my shorts.

She let out a laugh and happily bounced over on the bed. I climbed off the bed and leaned over, kissing her again softly. "You're so beautiful when you smile. I'm glad I could make you happy."

When I pulled back, she came with me a little and ended up lying across the bed. She kicked her feet up in the air and rested her head on her hands. "So, are you okay with sleeping like this?" she asked.

"Naked?" I asked shocked.

She nodded yes.

"But your..." I pointed at her chest. I couldn't say it, but if her breasts were naked, I was sure I would grope them in my sleep. "What if I touch them in my sleep?" I asked worried. "I don't want to scare you, baby."

"You're my husband. You should be able to touch me."

My face was pained. "Please, baby, I don't want to set you back. Why don't you at least put a shirt on or something?"

She pouted. I couldn't believe I was fighting with my wife to put clothes
on
. Shouldn't I have been ripping them
off
?

"How about a night bra?"

I looked at her confused.

She laughed. "It's a soft bra I can sleep in, but it'll still leave my back and stomach exposed, so I can get used to feeling your skin against mine."

I swallowed hard and nodded okay. I walked over to my shelf and grabbed a towel. I looked at my sleep pants again. "So, did you want me to only wear boxers?"

She nodded yes. I let out a long, deep breath. This was going to be a long night.