Phantoms of Fall (The Haunting Ruby Series Book 2) (20 page)

That was the only reason I lashed out at him. I really
owed him a huge apology for that—I knew I did. So I decided
to call him immediately and beg for his forgiveness.
He
wanted to talk and now that I’d calmed down I saw that he
was right and I owed him that much.
We desperately needed
to talk. I dialed his number while practicing my apology but it
was a complete waste of time. After what felt like a thousand
rings, it went to voicemail. He totally ignored my call! What
had I done? If he broke up with me now…. There would be no
goodnight mwah for me tonight so I turned off my phone and
shoved it into the top drawer of my nightstand. I switched off
the light and lay there in the dark with Coco by my side. If I
lost him for real this time, I would never be the same again.

I barely got any sleep.
Instead, I tossed and turned
restlessly all night. There had to be a way to make it up to
him—I just had to figure out how. When I finally fell asleep, I
had an odd dream. It wasn’t the usual paranormal-themed
nightmare. It was worse.
I dreamed that Zach broke up with
me.
It felt so real that I woke up crying and for about ten
seconds I thought it actually happened. Once I realized it was
just a dream, I snatched my phone to call him.
He would
probably still be asleep, but I didn’t care. What I had to say to
him was worth waking him up for.
But just like before, it
went straight to voicemail. This time though, I chose to leave
a message.

“Zach, it’s Ruby. I’m sorry about how I acted last
night—please call me. You’re right, we do need to talk.” I
couldn’t believe I just used the “we need to talk” routine. I felt
so stupid I decided to hang up before I embarrassed myself
anymore. The second I hit “end” I realized I forgot to tell him
that I loved him. Should I call him back just to say it? I almost
did but changed my mind. If he was thinking about breaking
up with me, one call too many could be enough to tip the
scales
against my
favor.
Sinking
back onto my
bed in
complete devastation, I decided to stay right there until he
called me back.
He would call back the minute he woke up,
wouldn’t he?

When noon came and went, I realized that wasn’t
going to happen. It was Saturday—Zach would already be at
the shelter by now.
He was avoiding me on purpose.
And
speaking of avoiding people, Rachel would be here soon and
wanting to know how our date went. I just couldn’t tell her
the truth. I had to get out of this house and get out fast.

I had no idea where I was going—I just drove. The
only thing I took with me was my phone in case he called me.
There wasn’t a lot of gas in my tank and no purse meant no
money to fill it. After a quick drive by of the shelter to see if
he was there—and he was—I went to the closest place where
I knew I would be alone. The Hideout.
Our
Hideout. Or did it
now belong solely to him again?

I walked to the top, sat down, and looked out over the
town. Charlotte’s Grove. I’d only lived here for a few months
but I’d had more drama here than a lifetime’s worth in Trinity
and all of it tied back to him somehow. My world revolved
around Zach and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Did I take
what Misty said too seriously?
She was some dumb whore
that he wouldn’t sleep with before he met me, what made me
think he would change his mind about her now? Maybe she
knew I was in the restroom that day and said what she did to
get me to do something stupid like try to seduce him. If that
was the case, I totally fell for it. But it was just so weird—why
didn’t he want to have sex with me? That was all boys our age
ever thought about, wasn’t it?

It all boiled down to one dumb cliché.
Zach and I
really
did
need to talk—about a lot of things. He was the only
one who had the answers to my questions so I needed to go to
the source. Good relationships were built on communication,
or at least that’s what they said on all of those stupid
afternoon talk shows. But did that mean I would have to tell
him the truth about everything? Would it hurt to keep this
one little thing from him?
Okay, so it was really that one
big
,
hulking, ever present thing that would affect me—and him,
too—until the day I died?

Speaking of which, I still had to get rid of Garnet. But
how could I think about her at a time like this? She’d done
alright without me for the last twenty years and I had more
important things to deal with now. She was simply going to
have to wait her turn. Zach came first—that’s all there was to
it. When my phone finally buzzed for the first time all day, I
knew it had to be him. He got over his anger and was ready to
talk things out with me. Imagine my disappointment when I
saw that the text was from Rachel instead.

“So…how surprised were u?!”

Surprised? That was hardly the word I would use to
describe last night. What was she referring to? I texted her
back. “Surprised by what?”

She replied almost instantly. “Zach’s big surprise,
dummy!”

Dummy was right. He had something big planned for
me and I ruined it by trying to writhe around on him like
some big haired chick in an eighties video. Now I felt even
worse.
I had some serious apologizing to do.
And some
explaining, too. Rachel wouldn’t rest until I told her how our
date went.

“We argued—never got 2 the surprise.”

 

I sat back and waited for her reply. She didn’t keep
me waiting for long.

 

“Oh no! What happened?”

Part of me wanted to spill the entire story to her. But
he was the one I needed to talk to—not his sister. Not again,
not this time. I knew she would want to kill me for not telling
her what happened, but she was simply going to have to deal
with it.

“Can’t tell you—have 2 talk 2 Zach first.” I sent the
text and turned my phone off so she couldn’t talk me into
changing my mind about it.

Zach usually worked at
the shelter until four on
Saturdays, so I still had a few hours to wait until we could
talk. I decided to spend them sitting on the hill and admiring
the view. Fall was in its infancy but the leaves were already
starting to turn.
In a few more weeks, the colors would be
breathtaking and I thought about sharing it with Zach.
We
could sit here wrapped together in a blanket talking about the
future and how we wanted to spend it together. Things would
be okay once we had a chance to talk. Things would be
more
than okay. I
had
to keep believing that.

When I got tired, I lay down on the grass and watched
the clouds instead.
I slipped into sleep quickly and deeply.
When I finally woke up, my first instinct was to turn on my
phone. It was almost five o’clock—he must have gotten back
to me by now. One final text from Rachel was all I found. I
didn’t understand. Why didn’t he get back to me? Or worse
yet, he would have seen my car when he drove home—why
didn’t he come up to see me? My chest got that hollow feeling
inside. The one that came when someone you loved ripped
your heart out and stomped on it before handing it back
bruised and caked with dirt.

Was he just going to leave it like this—no response, no
closure? It couldn’t end like this. I loved him too much for
that. But what could I do? Should I call him again? Should I
stop by his house? I had to see him—we had to talk things out
before it was too late. I walked down to my car determined to
find him so I could fix what I had childishly broken.

I drove with confidence and bravery until I got to his
house and saw that his car wasn’t there. Panic enslaved me.
He wouldn’t be out with anyone else so soon, would he? Not
without officially breaking up with me first, right?
He had to
still be at the shelter—that was the only scenario that made
sense. So I turned the car around and went to find out.

There was only one car parked at the shelter and it
wasn’t his. I didn’t know where else to look for him so I
returned to Rosewood infinitely more depressed than I was
when I left. Dad and Shelly were on their way out to dinner
and invited me to go with them. How could I eat at a time like
this? I assured them I would throw together a sandwich or
something but that I had to stay home to do homework. It
wasn’t a complete lie. I really did have homework—I just
wasn’t going to do it. Instead, I went upstairs to call Zach. He
would answer my call this time—I was sure of it.

For about the millionth time in my life, I was wrong.
No answer. So I gave in and texted Rachel instead.

 

“Where’s Zach?”

 

She responded instantly. “He’s not with u?”

I wanted to cry. If Rachel didn’t know where he was, I
was out of ideas. I sent back a quick “no” in response and
threw my phone down on the bed. He hated me—that was all
there was to it. There was no way I could focus on homework,
so I listened to music instead.
By music, I mean all of the
songs that reminded me of him.
And I cried until there
weren’t any tears left.

Trying to fight my way through the despair, I texted
Rachel again.

 

“When u hear from him, let me know. I really need 2
talk 2 him.”

 

“K. Wish u would tell me what happened.”

I couldn’t tell her what I did last night, it was too
embarrassing. Even if she
was
my best friend, she was still his
sister. “Sorry—it’s kinda private.”

“K. I hate when u guys fight.”

 

“Thnx—me 2.”

Time for the waiting game.
If patience is a virtue, I
would never be a saint.
This was the hardest part, sitting
there wondering where he was and whether or not he would
forgive me. A sudden urge came over me, so I planted myself
at the desk and turned on the computer.
It was time to start
writing again.
Writing was something I used to love doing
back when Lee was still alive.
writing
for
hours
while
he

I would sit in the cemetery
sketched
headstone
after
headstone. It always made me feel better about whatever was
troubling me.
And something huge certainly was troubling
me now. Why did every fight we have seem infinitely worse
than the last?

I sat at the keyboard and just let it flow straight from
my subconscious mind and onto the monitor. Hours flew by
as my story started to take shape. And then my phone rang.
It was almost nine o’clock. Please let it be Zach! I sat there in
fear of my very own phone. What if it wasn’t him? It was
such a disappointment to wait for a call or text and then when
you finally got one, it was from the wrong person.
I was
afraid to look to see who was calling me. As long as I didn’t
look, I would never be disappointed. I could sit here all night
believing that it was him even if it wasn’t. But of course,
letting it go to voicemail would get me nowhere. I had to face
epic disappointment and just look at the damn thing already
to see if I wanted to answer it or not. So I peeked at it quickly
with one eye closed and gave a huge sigh of relief. It was him.

I answered the phone anxiously. “Zach?”

 

He sounded distant when he replied, “Yeah.”

Oh no.
Was he going to break up with me over the
phone? I mean, the least he could do was rip my soul out face
to face like the last time. Regardless of what was in store for
me, I had to apologize and at least try to fix things.

“I’m sorry about last night.”

 

There was a very long, very agonizing pause before he
replied, “Me, too.”

It was a step in the right direction so I continued on
with a faint glimmer of hope. “Can I see you tonight? We
really need to talk.” Really? Did I
really
just use that dumb
line on him again?

Instead of a reply, I got dead silence. Nothing. So I
tried again. “Zach?”

 

“I’m still here.”

 

Well he could have fooled me. That glimmer of hope I
had was fading rapidly. “Can I meet you at The Hideout?”

The sound of a deep exhale came from his end of the
line. “Just make it quick, okay? Don’t drag this out any longer
than you have to.”

What? That was a cold hearted thing to say. I knew
for sure what was coming—I was going to The Hideout to get
dumped. My world was going to fall apart no matter what, so
I might as well get it over with.

“See you in fifteen?” My heart began to shrivel in my
ribcage just thinking about what was about to happen.

 

“Fifteen,” he agreed and the line went dead.

My
hands
shook as
I inserted the
keys into the
ignition.
I felt like a death row inmate when the governor
failed to call—the end was inevitable, so just get it over with.
Gas me until the pain was gone. He was already there when I
pulled in, firing up the gas chamber, no doubt.
I was about to
get out of my car when he yanked open the passenger door
and flung himself inside.

“Just get it over with quickly, okay. It’s not nice to play
with your food before you eat it.” His face was red and puffy
like he’d been crying.

“What do you mean?” I was confused. Did he actually
think
I
was there to break up with
him
?

“I know why we’re here—you’re breaking up with me.
So pull the trigger and let me go.
Just be humane about it,
okay.”

That was exactly what he thought. “Oh, Zach!
I
thought you wanted to break up with me. After last night and
the way I acted.…”