Phantoms of Fall (The Haunting Ruby Series Book 2) (46 page)

I sat down on the futon and began munching on a
carrot.
There was only one more day of school left before
Thanksgiving break and it was only a half a day at that. If it
weren’t for that stupid assembly Zach thought was so
important, I would skip school altogether. Whatever. After
tomorrow I would have lots of free time to exercise and get
into shape for Sunday. And if that didn’t work, well, I didn’t
know what I’d do. All I knew was I couldn’t go on living like
this for long.

Just then my phone rang.
When I saw it was Zach, I
almost didn’t answer it. But I knew him well enough to know
that if I didn’t, he would probably drive over to see me
instead.

“Hello,” I said quietly. My throat hurt from my recent
activities and the word was barely audible.

 

“Ruby? I can hardly hear you—we must have a bad
connection.”

 

“Yes,” I agreed. “Bad connection.”

 

“I just called to make sure you’re okay. Did you eat
dinner?”

 

“I did.” Why did he think I needed him to babysit me?
I was fully in control of my life. Fully. In. Control.

 

“Good.” Awkward pause. “I can’t wait for that
assembly. I have a good feeling about it.”

 

“Yeah,” I answered. Silence.

 

“Well, since I’m having trouble hearing you, I’ll let you
go now.”

“Goodbye.” I didn’t wait for him to answer me—I
simply hit the button and ended the conversation. Why did he
keep toying with me like that?
If he was going to end our
relationship, he needed to get on with it.

It was only seven but I was incredibly tired. After a
feeble attempt at some sit ups, I gave up and went to bed. The
downside? I wouldn’t be burning any calories. The upside? I
wouldn’t be tempted to eat.

It was three o’clock when I woke up but it wasn’t a
nightmare that interrupted my sleep. It was my stomach.
I
was so hungry it hurt. I wanted to just give in and go stuff my
face until the pain went away. But if I did that, I would feel
even worse in a different way. So I lay there in bed with tears
rolling down my cheeks until my pillow was so wet I had to
flip it over. It was worth it. My life would be perfect once that
weight was gone.

Morning came but I didn’t feel refreshed in any sense
of the word.
After what happened yesterday, I decided to
avoid mirrors at all costs.
I straightened my hair blindly and
used just a small one to apply my makeup. Not like makeup
helped any. Even a gallon of concealer couldn’t hide the fat
growing under my chin.
I threw on another baggy outfit to
hide myself and snuck out before Shelly could tempt me with
another banana.

I left for school early but Zach was already there
waiting for me when I pulled in. Before I could even get out of
the car, he yanked open the passenger side door and climbed
inside.

“As soon as school’s over, we need to talk.” There was
a grim look on his face that could only mean one thing. He
was breaking up with me.

My heart sank into the pit of my empty stomach and
lay there at the bottom like a brick. I was tempted to stick my
finger down my throat to see if I could dislodge it and send it
back where it belonged. Not like it would have done me any
good, though. There it was—the moment I’d been dreading.
He wasn’t even going to give me until Sunday. I was so
disgusting he couldn’t wait to get rid of me.

“Fine.” The only thing left to do was face my fate,
embrace it even. I was a complete and utter failure. I didn’t
deserve Zach. Hell, I didn’t even deserve to live.

He seemed shocked by my answer, like he expected
me to put up a fight. Honestly, there wasn’t an ounce of fight
left in my oversized body. It was time to give up and I knew it.

“Good. I’ll just follow you home after school then.”

I nodded and we both got out of my car. Since there
was only a half a day of classes and an assembly to boot,
homeroom was just a pit stop long enough for Mr. Raspatello
to take attendance and then we were off to our first period
classes. As I started down the hall toward World History, I
felt a hand on my shoulder. A hand that must have belonged
to an angel.

Aside from being incredibly hungry, I felt like the
world was lifted from my shoulders.
I felt free.
When I
turned around, I was face to face with Zach.

“Here,” he said holding out his other hand to me. “In
case you forgot your lunch money again.” Looking more
closely at his hand, I could see the tip of a crinkled up five
dollar bill inside it.

“You’re the best boyfriend ever!” I hugged him and
took the money from his hand.
I was pretty sure I never
forgot my lunch money before but it was sweet of him to
think of me. I tucked the bill into my pocket and continued
down the hall.

What was his deal anyway? Did he think buying me
lunch would make up for dumping my fat ass? I wouldn’t eat
lunch if he paid me to, which, technically, I guess he just did.
Whatever. If I couldn’t have
him
, I certainly didn’t want his
money either.

What should have been a short day felt like endless
agony.
I
was
tired,
starving,
necessarily
in
that order.
When
and
heartbroken—not
it
came
time for the

assembly, I took a seat at the back of the auditorium in the
shadows, where no one could see me.

Well, almost no one.
I watched as Zach paced up and
down the center aisle looking for me. Just when I thought he
was
about to give up and
sit down, he stopped at Mr.
Raspatello’s side. After a few quick words, Mr. Raspatello
nodded his head and pointed straight at me.
Dammit.
Did
that guy watch me everywhere I went?

Zach made his way to the back of the auditorium and
sat in the empty seat next to me. “There you are. Were you
trying to hide from me?”

Hide? Where could I hide? It’s not like there was an
elephant in the auditorium I could duck behind.
I
was
the
elephant.

“Why would I want to hide from you?” I shot back
sarcastically.

He didn’t say a word—he just sat there looking at me
funny. It was the kind of look you give a stranger, one who
looked vaguely familiar but you couldn’t figure out where you
knew them from.
Was he trying to see the old thin me—the
one he
used
to love?

The loud buzz of chatter in the room quieted to a mere
whisper as Mr. Lascher took the stage. “Good afternoon,
everyone,” he began as the feedback from the microphone
squealed loudly through the room.
Someone from the AV
department ran out onto the stage to adjust the settings and
disappeared again behind the curtain.

“Good afternoon,” he repeated this time without the
unearthly squeal. “I know you’re all ready to enjoy your
Thanksgiving break but we have a special guest here today to
talk to us about an important subject—teen suicide. So let’s
all give our undivided attention and a round of applause to
welcome Mr. Jonathan Hartley.”

The echo of weak, half-hearted clapping rang through
the auditorium as the principal handed the mike to a thin man
with hair that was pure white.
Zach leaned forward in his
seat as the man began to speak. Why was he so excited for
this lame assembly anyway? He looked more like a hardcore
Red Ravens fan on the sidelines on a Friday night.
Three
cheers for teen suicide? Zach was impossible to understand.

“My name is Jonathan Hartley and my daughter’s
name was Garnet. She would be almost forty years old today,
probably
married and
giving
me grandchildren
by
now.
Except for the fact that she chose to take her own life here in
this very school over twenty years ago. I can’t tell you why
she did it—but I
can
tell you about her life and how her death
affected me.”

“I need to use the restroom.” I didn’t really, but I just
couldn’t sit there and listen to that man go on about his
pathetic daughter.
No one cared about that loser twenty
years ago, why should I care about her now? I stood up to go,
just dodging Zach’s hand as he reached out to stop me.

“Wait, Ruby! What if he talks about the suicide note
while you’re gone! I’ll pay attention as close as I can but you
may find significance in something I won’t—you could miss
something crucial!”

“Like what? Blah, blah, blah, I’m so sad. Blah, blah,
blah, nobody loves me. As far as I’m concerned, she’s better
off dead.” I stormed out of the auditorium before he could
answer me.

The closest restroom was just around the corner but I
walked past the door without a second glance. I didn’t want
to share the restroom with anyone else so I headed for the
opposite end of the hall.
I almost went into the one by the
cafeteria but changed my mind at the last second. The one
just outside the locker room was sure to be deserted. When I
got to the bottom of the stairs, I hesitated at the door to the
girl’s locker room. It was the last place anyone would think to
look for me so I opened the door and slipped inside.

I wandered into Coach Hunter’s office, sat down in her
chair and picked up a pen.
My life was over—I knew that
now. I was ready to face it. As soon as school let out, Zach
would follow me to Rosewood for the big breakup scene.
He
would read me the standard script. “It’s not you, it’s me. I
think we should start seeing other people. We’re just too
young to be so serious.”

He would never tell me the truth—he was far too nice
for that. I knew why he was doing it, though—it was because
I was fat. He would probably start dating some thin, pretty
girl and go on as if I never even existed. But what about me?
The only time I felt real was when I was with him. After he
was gone, would I literally cease to be?
If it could only be so
simple.
If I could only just fade into my surroundings and
become invisible it would be a dream come true.

No, I would have to keep walking these halls being the
butt of everyone else’s jokes. They would point at me and
laugh at my misery. They would whisper about me, thinking I
wouldn’t hear them. But I would hear every word, every
insult. “He broke up with her because he was afraid she might
eat him. He dumped her because she kept eating his lunch.
What did he ever see in her in the first place?”

But there was one other way. One way to escape it all,
one way to end the torture. I looked around the small room
until I found what I needed—a thick, orange extension cord.
Sure, a piece of rope would have been classier but did I really
deserve classy? No, my fat ass didn’t. When I was done
writing, I tore the top sheet from Coach Hunter’s notepad and
tucked it into the pocket of my hoodie. I tossed the cord onto
the chair and wheeled it into the shower area.

There it was—the final piece of the puzzle.
An old
metal towel hook protruding from the wall at just the right
height.
I positioned the chair directly beneath it and sat
down. Looping the cord around deftly, I fashioned it into a
hangman’s knot and tried it on for size. Just perfect. The
only
thing perfect about my life. Slipping it back off of my neck, I
climbed onto the chair to tie it to the hook.

The gentle slope of the shower floor caused the chair
to dance back and forth as I tied the cord around the hook. It
was sturdy—enough to hold even
my
massive weight. Once
everything was in place, I slid the makeshift noose over my
head and closed my eyes.

“Goodbye,” I whispered.
38. It’s Never Too Late…Is It?

As
soon
as
Ruby
left
the auditorium, I got
a bad
feeling. It was the same feeling I got that day at Rosewood the
night of the tornado. The feeling that I never should have left
her alone, that I should have stayed close to her regardless of
what else was going on. But I ignored it. I had to, didn’t I? If I
ran after her, I would miss my chance to find out was in
Garnet’s suicide note.

I convinced myself that she was fine, that she really
did just need to use the restroom and would be back in a few
minutes. In the meantime, I paid close attention to the man
on the stage.

“Garnet’s mother suffered from undiagnosed
postpartum depression and killed herself when Garnet was
just a baby. It wasn’t easy raising a daughter alone. I was
never the talkative kind and Garnet was the same. So instead
of telling her how proud I was of her and how much I loved
her, I gave her food as a reward. A good report card earned
her a chocolate cake. Cleaning up around the house got her
pizza for dinner. By the time she was a teenager, my daughter
was seriously overweight. I didn’t know how to fix what I’d
broken but unfortunately, she found a way.”

Suddenly, it was all making sense. Garnet wasn’t
sick—she had an eating disorder.
And now Ruby did, too.
Just thinking about it scared the hell out of me.
We were
facing something serious—something life threatening. If we
didn’t find a way to get rid of Garnet today, Ruby could die. I
couldn’t let that happen! I would have to tell her parents
what was going on even if it meant she never wanted to speak
to me again. Her dad was a doctor—he trusted me to take
care of her. I let her down before but I couldn’t do it again. If
I told him what was going on, he would find a way to save her.