Pieces of it All (32 page)

He shrugged. "I needed the money."

Maggie stared at him, her breathing rate increasing with every second. This look was different from the other day, filled not with disappointment, but anger. Hot, red, fiery anger. When the microwave beeped, Harvey was surprised Maggie didn't explode. "Are you serious? You needed the money? Well, listen up." She took the mug out and placed it in front of Harvey, who now sat at the table. "You
had
a job. You
had
money. Until you dropped all your responsibilities and walked out."

He hadn't come to Maggie for this. His intention wasn't to start an argument or even explain why he had robbed the store. Maggie knew his story. She heard the details every single day while he sat in her office, reliving the tale daily. The scars were never a secret from her. He shared each moment of his damaging past with her. The three words he had to say were so true in his heart, but the most difficult to say. He opened his mouth, but they wouldn't come out. "I ..."

Maggie pulled a chair out and sat down. "What, Harvey?" She crossed her legs and placed her hands on the table and wrapped them around her coffee mug. "Tell me. It's me. I'm so unbelievable pissed at you, but it's still me, Harvey."

He let his eyelids close, the darkness encompassing him, swallowing him with every breath he took. He took three deep breaths. Without opening his eyes, he said. "I need help." He opened them. Maggie was still there, just staring at him.

"I think maybe you left too soon. Yeah, you made so much progress, but finding out about your mom and this girl, I think you lost control."

"This isn't Beth's fault."

"I know, and it's not your mom's either. You weren't ready to handle this yet. I should have been with you when you found out about her. I'm sure we could have somehow come across the information online if we did more research."

"We looked. We tried. I'm not sure why I didn't see it coming. I just wish I had known sooner. A lot sooner. Things could've been different."

Maggie's warm hands folded around his. "They still
can
be. Once you sober up," she widened her eyes and stressed "again," bringing a smile to Harvey's face, "then we can continue to work on the issues regarding your mom. There are some wonderful therapists I can refer you to."

The first sip of the coffee almost went back into the mug. "Wow. That's bitter."

"That's why I don't drink instant."

"Maggie, I need to go back to the center."

She let go of his hands. "I'm sorry, Harvey, but it's not that simple. You committed a crime. You need to pay for what you did."

"I'm sure if you talk to Nelson..."

She shook her head. "No. Even if I did talk to Nelson, it wouldn't make a difference."

Harvey sat in the chair, numb. How did he let it get to this? His head hung and Maggie stood up. "Where are you going?" he asked.

She stopped. Her face softened. "Harvey, I'm calling the police."

Chapter Forty One

Beth enjoyed waking up next to Mark. They moved from the couch to the bedroom for comfort, and before any of Mark's roommates got home and saw her in her underwear! The two had taken pleasure in one another one more time when they got to his room. Mark, so attractive and gentle, treated her body with respect, and honed into her emotions, and she lost herself in their lovemaking. She didn't worry about what to do or try and anticipate the next move, because she didn't have to.
This
was how it was supposed to be, the way she imagined. Now they laid, their legs intertwined, her head resting on his chest. She never felt safer. She wanted to giggle at his little snores, which reminded her of Bullet.

Oh, Bullet. Where did he stand in all of this? Who took care of him? She assumed Harvey's dad, or at least hoped. She had no idea where Harvey ran off to, but he loved his dog. Thinking of Bullet she recalled the pet fair, and how much passion he held for animals and their safety. If he'd committed this crime, surely he had left Bullet in safe hands. Right? Who wouldn't love that stocky little build and mushed in face? His tiny tail wagged with such joy whenever Beth was around.

Harvey had gone to significant lengths to keep her from meeting his dad. But it was his
dad
. She couldn't wait for Mark to meet her parents. They discussed plans when they laid in bed last night before falling asleep. School started in a just a few weeks, and winter break would come along quickly. She didn't want to wait until the holidays, though, for her mom and dad to meet this man in her life, and Mark thought the same. They already had an arrangement in the works to meet each other's families in a matter of weeks. That was what people who had respectful, real relationships did. They brought each other into their worlds, and showed everyone this person who meant so much to them.

Not Harvey. Beth didn't doubt he liked her, but he didn't love her. If anything, he lusted for her. He'd taken the fact she wanted to go to college a woman and took advantage. Despite Harvey's actions, she still thought of him, and wished him to be safe. Trouble had made its way into his life, and it had been present for a long time. Times like this demanded parental guidance, required love. He refused hers, but he couldn't deny his dad.

"Mark," she sat up and rattled him awake.

He smiled as he opened his eyes, leaning in immediately and kissed her. "Hey, babe. Did you sleep well? What time is it?"

She shook her head. "No idea. I've been awake for a bit, just thinking."

He turned onto his side and propped up with his elbow. "About what?" He took his other hand and ran his index finger down her cheek.

She hadn't slept much, her eyes wide open as she thought of Harvey and Bullet. How did she tell her boyfriend she wanted to help her ex? Nerves rumbled in her stomach as she gripped the sheets, the words sitting on her vocal chords. "Mark," she started strongly, moving to a whisper, "I want to go see Harvey."

His smile dropped. "What?"

She pushed herself up straight. "I mean, Harvey's dad. He needs to know what's going on," she explained, hoping the clarification would help.

"Babe, it's all over the news. His dad has to know." He scratched his head. "I guess I'm not sure why you need to go. Harvey's in your past. Leave him there."

"I should, but I have to do this. Harvey, well, he was a big part of my life-"

"For about a minute."

She sighed. "Mark, please don't. He was my first-"

"Don't remind me."

"Are you going to keep interrupting me, or can I talk?" Beth cocked her head, holding the sheet to her chest. She understood why he didn't want to hear her reasons, but she wanted to explain. When he finally kept quiet, she continued. "I'm not the type of person to leave well enough alone because frankly, well enough isn't good enough. It only puts a band-aid on things. It says, 'look world, this is all I'm willing to give, even though I'm fully capable of more.' Harvey can be a good person if he gets the help he needs. That starts with his dad."

Mark scooted closer to her. He put his hand on her thigh. "This means a lot to you, doesn't it?"

Beth nodded, grateful Mark not only seemed to understand, but truly listened to what she had to say.

"Fine. Makes sense." His smile returned. "This is why I like you so much, so I should get used to your heart. I've never met someone so willing to help other people."

"It's called kindness, Mark." She touched her finger to his nose.

Mark stuck his tongue out at her. She hit him on the shoulder in jest, and he came in for a tickle. She giggled uncontrollably as he pushed his fingers into her sides, driving her crazy. The tickles turned to kisses, which turned into a wake up call she wouldn't mind every day.

Harvey wasn't an animal. The handcuffs weren't necessary. He sat in her kitchen drinking shitty instant coffee as she made the phone call to the police. It seemed inhumane to cuff a person who didn't plan on fighting. Two officers entered the house, one showing his gun the entire time, like some sort of bad ass out of an equally horrible cop movie. He hadn't realized the news portrayed him as armed and dangerous. He wasn't even the one who held a knife to Nelson. He'd gotten into a few fistfights in his life, most of those with his father. He never would have physically hurt Nelson, nor allowed Ricky to do so. He wasn't a snitch, either, so he refused to give up Ricky's name. "I don't remember the guy's name," he had told them. "I met him the day before at a gas station."

Maggie cried when they took Harvey away. Watching her cry made him sick to his stomach. Only a brave woman could look someone in eye and not only threaten to call the police, but actually follow through. "Harvey, I didn't want to have to do this, but you left no choice."

"Maggie, I'll go back to rehab and straighten up. Believe in me. I can do this," Harvey pleaded. Anything but jail.

She replied as she shook her head, "It's too late. They're already on their way. Not to mention I can't walk into work with you traipsing behind me. You're a wanted man! The police would arrest you anyway. The best thing is for you to turn yourself in. Do your time, and perhaps this will help you sober up and get back on track."

Harvey sucked his tongue against his teeth to wash the bitter taste of the coffee out of his mouth. "So this is it. This is what it's come to."

"Looks that way. I'm sad, but you need this."

His lip curled. "
Prison
?"

"Yes, Harvey. You need to see what it's like on the other side of the bars. I've dealt with dozens of alcoholics and drug users. Both before and after jail. I can't promise this will fix you and make you realize what a wonderful person you are inside. You can do meaningful things in this world. The rehab center didn't work the first time, but this might. Maybe sitting day after day with people much more dangerous than you, and much worse off, will kick your recovery into gear."

Had she not listened to him
every single day
when he poured his heart out? She hadn't lived his life. Maggie had no idea what it was like to only have someone pay attention to you in order to pick a fight usually ending in physical bruises or scars.

"I know you lost your mother and my heart aches for you, but that tragedy doesn't make you who you are. I'm aware you don't have any memories of her, and all the memories with your father aren't so good. Once you start over, you can leave the past behind and make new memories. It's your choice, Harvey. You can choose which memories to hold on to, which ones to let go, and create new ones along the way."

The knock on the door sealed his fate. Maggie reached over the table and held onto his hands, squeezing them tightly. The first tear fell in that moment. She stood up, leaned down and kissed Harvey's forehead. Her lips lingered, tickling his skin. "I'll always be here for you. Remember that."

His eyes focused on a nail hole in the wall where a picture used to hang while Maggie answered the door. The steps of the officers echoed against the wooden floor. One of the officers said something to Maggie but Harvey just heard mumbling. The voices crowded his head, distancing themselves. The three of them talked about him as if he wasn't even in the room. He pushed his fist into his leg so hard he probably would leave a bruise. His body didn't know how to process the emotions overpowering him. Anger. Hurt. Fear. Defeat. Maggie was right. He wouldn't be able to walk freely among society with his photo plastered on TV.

"Mr. Etheridge." The man's stern voice boomed, pushing into Harvey's mind and clearing the clutter. "Please stand and place your hands behind your back." He read Harvey his rights as the second officer put his gun back in the holster and cuffed him. His knees became mush as the officers led him to the squad car. Before getting in the car, he took one last glance at Maggie, who leaned against the door frame with her arms crossed. She reached her hand up and gave a short wave and wiped a tear from her eye.

Chapter Forty Two

Beth never thought she'd be knocking on Harvey's door, initiating contact with his father, the same man he despised so much and feared. The news story played in a loop in her brain, and she felt an obligation to try and help. Harvey made things seem so tense between him and his father, but if he realized how much hurt Harvey held inside, he couldn't deny help for his son. Parents didn't do that.

A spitting image of Harvey, despite the obvious difference of weight, answered the door. The longer hair, deep eyes and commanding stance replicated everything about Harvey. He put his arm in the doorway to balance himself, crossing one foot over his ankle, a beer in the other hand.

"Well, what'd we have here? One of you were plenty enough, but if Violet is open to another, come on in sweetheart. My room's down the hall." He belched.

Oh, how disgusting. He thought she was a prostitute? "Um, no, sir. I'm here about Harvey."

His eyes popped. "Oh! Harvey! Aren't you a pretty little thing? You seem too sweet to be one of Harvey's girls."

The comment both offended and intrigued her. How many girls had been with Harvey? A different one every month? Year? Did he keep multiple girlfriends at a time? She pressed the questions out of her mind. She didn't want to know the answers, nor did they matter.

"He ain't here."

"I know, Sir."

"Don't be calling me Sir, now."

"What shall I call you?"
Dirt bag, drunk, asshole, maybe?

"I have plenty of names a girl like you could call me. Tell you one thing, don't call me late for dinner!" He slapped his knee, spilling beer on the floor.

She didn't understand why the remark made him laugh. "Anyway," she continued, "I don't know if you're aware the police are looking him."

"Honey, of course I'm aware. Don't you think they've been here already?"

"I suppose."

He tapped his fingers on the door jamb. "By the looks of you, I thought you'd be a little smarter." He took a drink of his beer, and scratched his stomach, giving Beth a view of his sweaty and hairy belly.