Pieces of Lies (22 page)

I picked up the canvas from the floor and flung it across the room. Grabbing the tins of nearby paint, I propelled each one of them like tiny missiles to all corners of the walls. They burst open like exploding water balloons as they hit the walls, the paint erupting from the tins, streaking and sliding off the mess sheets that covered the whole room. 

I started clawing at the walls and ripping down the mess sheets one by one, tossing them frantically to the ground. I walked over to where I had thrown the canvas, dropped to my knees and started punching at it until I tore holes, and then switched to shredding it with clenched fingers until I felt my fingernails break and begin to bleed. The blood trickled down from my fingers and onto the floor, and I found myself frozen yet again, staring at blood. 

I curled up on the floor next to the destroyed canvas, completely naked, covered in paint, and bleeding amongst the destruction that was once my paint room. I didn’t move, I couldn’t. I sobbed loudly as dark horrid images flashed through my head, twisting me up inside, paralyzing me with emotional pain. For this night, they took me over. I was a shell of a body; weak and disabled on the floor, tortured by the beasts of my past. 

If I die before I wake, pray the lord my soul to take.

Chapter 15

For Consideration

As I walked out of the gun range the following afternoon, I flexed my hands inside the brown leather gloves I was wearing. They helped ease the pain and cover the shame of what I had done to my fingers the night before. I took in a big gulp of fresh afternoon air, letting it fill me and keep my mind calm and clean. I had spent most of the day at the range trying to get a sense of control back. I had let the scars of my past overpower me and I hated feeling weak more than anything.

I stretched my whole body, lifting my arms way up over my head, as if I had just crawled out of bed. I stared up towards the clouds, thinking about how nice it would be to be floating in the air right now, away from the reality that was my life. I was finally getting a sense of power back from my inner turmoil. Those types of episodes such as the one that unfolded in my paint room, were not uncommon for me, especially back in high school. I hadn’t had one since I arrived here. I thought I had left it all behind, but I was quickly realizing that as good as I could run, I couldn’t hide from my past.

A long black limousine pulled out in front of me, missing my shoes by inches. I was about to yell obscenities at the driver who clearly had no regard for pedestrians, when the window automatically rolled down. 

My sense of control was about to be challenged.

“Miss Rossi, we need to have a talk.” Arthur Wickburn’s hard stare eyed me up and down. “Why don’t you hop in?” His striking face was nodding, suggestively encouraging me into the limo.

“I thought Clint gave you my answer,” I half yelled at him through the open car window. He had some nerve approaching me like this.  He was lucky I didn't kick the limo door in after that manipulative stunt he pulled with Clint.  

“Please get in Ms Rossi; you should hear what I have to say.” 

I thought about walking off, but then I figured I could clear this up once and for all, so I reluctantly climbed into the limo. I really needed to set him straight.  My tolerance for all things 'Lappell' had reached its final leg.  

“Look, if you knew I was a Rossi, then why all the theatrics?” I said, eyeing him suspiciously as I sat across from him in the black leather interior. Suddenly his looks weren't so handsome anymore, but sinister.  The shadows on his face seemed to come alive and make him look like a cartoon villain. It's all I could see.

“For your benefit of course. We didn’t want to scare you off.”

I shook my head, “You think that would scare me off? What about the fact that you sent Clint to date me so I would join the Lappell. Did you think that kind of manipulation would help your cause?”

He leaned back a little, “You know about that?” He looked only a little surprised.

“I do.”

His phone buzzed in his pants’ pocket. Wickburn pulled it out, checked the screen and shut it forcefully. “Who told you? Was it Mr. Weston?” He watched for my reaction. “Or maybe it was your little friend Josh.”

I kept my face still, not wanting to give anything away.  “Maybe I found out on my own.”

Wickburn laughed at the notion.“I find that hard to believe.”

I felt offended, “Why? You don’t think I’ve got my own contacts here?”

Arthur grunted, amused. “No Miss Rossi, I don’t. I think you came here to distance yourself as much as possible from New York.” 

He was right, but I didn’t confirm it.

“But let’s get to the matter at hand shall we, your acceptance.” He grinned and I looked hard at him so he couldn’t misinterpret my reaction.

“My answer is no. Now can you leave Clint, myself and Josh alone?”

An even bigger evil grin spread along his face. “Let’s talk about Clint and Josh shall we?”

I started to fumble with my hands, now feeling a bit nervous about what he was about to say.  “What about them?”

“Well, you care about both of them don’t you?”

I swallowed, “You already know I do.”

He leaned towards me, “Because I’d hate to see something happen to either of them just because you couldn’t say yes to a simple little proposal.”

My face furrowed and I felt the heat rise up in my body as my pulse quickened.
The cartoon villain with the evil grin is threatening me! 

“Are you saying you would hurt them if I don’t join your pathetic little club? That’s blackmail.”

Wickburn smirked again, “You don’t miss a thing do you.” He had a look of arrogance, like he had already won the battle.

“I’m not scared of you,” I blurted out defensively.

“I know you are not scared of me, I’m not trying to scare you. I’m just making you aware that your decision may have consequences, and those consequences may have a detrimental impact on you in other ways. Surely you don’t want to have blood on your hands?” 

The mere mention of blood started to churn my stomach. My hands hidden in my gloves, began to throb as the word 'blood' echoed in my mind. The blackness in me started to re-emerge.

Focus Norah.

“You know what you are doing is really fucked up.” I just wanted to spit in his face.

“No Miss Rossi, what I’m doing is smart. Now, I’m a busy man and have important things to do.” He then used his hand to gesture me towards the door. “I’m giving you one week to come to your senses before I demonstrate just how serious I can be.”

Feeling nauseous, I started to climb out of the limo, wanting to get as far away as I could from the Lappell and Wickburn’s threats. I was now in a very complicated position and felt sick to my stomach with the problem I now had to face.

“Oh Miss Rossi,” I turned back to face him, trying to restrain my body from becoming physically violent.

“This is a wonderful opportunity for you and your family. Together with the Lappell, we would be an unstoppable force. Why would you want to prevent that?”

I shot back, “Because I want to control my own life and my own future, and I won’t let you, and certainly won’t let the Lappell be a part of that. No one controls my fucking destiny but me.”

Chapter 16

Girls’ Night

I didn’t expect to see Tess when I opened my apartment door that evening. I thought for certain that Josh would be back by now, so when I saw Tess, my eyes welled in sudden disappointment. It wasn’t that I wasn’t glad to have a friend at my door, but after my slip into that dream/memory, I needed Josh now more than ever. 

Tess was wide eyed when she saw me. I suppose it was the state I was in. My eyes were teary, hair tangled around my face, and my shoulders hunched. I also had
Teardrop
by
Massive Attack
on repeat on my iPod blaring in the background, but she wasn’t looking at my face or hair. She was staring intently at my hands which were still crusted with blood and paint from the demolishment of my paint room. I had made no effort to remove the paint lodged under my broken nails and at that moment, I regretted my laziness.

“Your hands.” She reached out to touch them but I pulled them back behind my body, using it as a shield to hide what I had done.

“It’s nothing really.”

Tess pushed past me as she walked in. She looked around curiously. I don’t know what she expected to find just by surveying the apartment. “Nothing hey. You haven’t been to class in two days Norah. Something’s up.” She looked back to me and then to my hands which I still had hidden behind my back. “What’s with your hands, they look like you’ve run them over a grater, except you also have paint…” She trailed off and then started walking down the hallway.

“Tess, where are you going? You can’t just barge in here and,” 

I heard her gasp as I caught up to her.

She was standing in the doorway open to my paint room. “Norah!  What. The. Fuck.”

I refused to go near the door and instead planted my back up against the hallway wall as I watched her go from shocked to horrified. Her head finally turned to me waiting for some kind of explanation.

“I, I, I… have some stuff going on.” It was all I could manage to get out.

“Really, I couldn’t tell,” and there she was, sarcastic Tess. “You need to talk to me Norah. I know you don’t say all that much about what goes on in your life, and I respect you enough not to ask more than you are willing to tell me, but this,” her hands went flying towards the room like an arrow, “needs some serious fucking discussion.”

That’s when I cracked. I threw my body back against the wall, slamming my back hard and then slumping to the ground, bursting into tears. Tess ran over to me and crouched down beside my shuddering body. She rubbed my back. “You can trust me Norah. Talk to me, OK.”

I lifted my head and nodded, wiping my face. “I think maybe we should go get a drink, get you out of this apartment for a while. Do you think you can do that?” I nodded again as she helped me to my feet.

As soon as we sat down at a booth at Dudley’s, my mouth opened up like a broken dam and spewed forth every little drama currently taking place in my world, leaving out only Samuel’s reappearance and the threats from Wickburn. I didn’t want to involve her with details that could potentially hurt her. I managed to restrain myself from being completely selfish.

After my deluge of information was laid out to Tess, she took a deep breath and lifted her hand to catch the attention of a very rough looking, stocky waiter, “Dos tequila shots please,” she ordered. I raised my eyebrows.

“Oh, one of them is for you Norah.” I went to refuse but decided against it. I really could use a drink. When the shots arrived, Tess downed hers before mine even touched my lips. I followed close behind Tess, practically inhaling my shot, and then we sat and waited until we both visibly relaxed into the corner of the booth. The shot actually helped calm the air between us.

“So let me get this straight, your real name is Lenorah Rossi, daughter of ‘Big Joe’, the most well known, and might I add, the most lethal mob boss from the Rossi mob in New York.”

I pulled both my lips together into a hard line and nodded.

“And you were sent here because you were engaged to a guy… ah, you said Samuel right, from a rival… ah… group that your dad didn’t approve of and wouldn't allow you to marry?” 

I nodded again.

“And when you got here, your best friend Josh, kind of, in a roundabout way, got you mixed up with the Lappell, who discovered your identity and forced Clint Weston to date you, so he could convince you to join the Lappell in a plan to gain your family’s contacts and power.”

I looked from side to side, “Yes.”

“But all the while, Clint claims he really fell in love with you and when Josh found out what the Lappell were doing, he outed Clint, which made you break up with him.” 

I just stared at Tess confirming her statements. 

“And then you kissed Josh because you didn’t want to be alone after you broke up with Clint.” 

I nodded and then began to rub my forehead. Tess sighed heavily. “And the Lappell have backed off now, right?”

“Of course.”

Lies.

Tess’s eyes drifted over to my hands yet again. “And your paint room…”

“Oh I know how it looks.” I hung my head in shame. Very few people had seen the aftermath of one of my episodes and I couldn’t provide a detailed explanation of all the horrific things I had seen growing up that would account for such explosive reactions. I had to let Tess believe I was just an overly dramatic artist type who couldn’t handle two guys at once. Telling her about my past in New York was something I just could not do.

“I’m not judging you Norah. Sometimes it can be all too much and we lose control. You have two guys who you really care about you and who both hurt you. I get it. I do. Better you beat the crap out of your room than take it out on yourself in some other self-destructive way.”

“I suppose that’s one way of looking at it,” I said. I felt bad for letting her believe the lie, but I didn't have another option.  No one knew about my past in New York except for Josh, and that is the way I intended to keep it.

“But if you feel like doing that again, why don’t you try talking to me first? Your hands will thank you I’m sure.”

I nodded, “I’ll try. Thanks Tess.”

She waved the waiter over again, “Two more shots please.”

As soon as the shots were in front of us, we both downed them at the same time. Tonight, tequila was my best friend.

“I’m so sorry Tess,” I exclaimed.

She gave me a surprised look, “Why?”

“Because I told you more information than you should know and now I’ve involved you, putting you in danger. That was completely selfish of me.” I started to play with a dinner napkin that was under the salt and pepper shakers on the table, tearing it at the corners.

“Norah, I consider us really good friends and as such, I think we should be able to trust each other with our problems and secrets, no matter how completely fucked up they are.”