Pieces of Paisley (20 page)
Adaleigh has to stay in the hospital until she reaches five pounds, but then will be able to come home. Kara is doing amazingly well and taking it all in stride. I head home, back to my life before Rick gets in and Kara goes back and forth between the hospital and home. Four weeks later, we throw her a baby shower, but Adaleigh still isn’t home yet. She is doing well but having some residual breathing issues and is diagnosed with asthma. Kara is freaking out, and I reassure her it will be fine.
Adaleigh comes home two weeks before the ship docks, and Kara has had enough of Rick’s grandparents. She packs up their stuff and comes to my house. My mom fawns all over that baby and before I know it, the day Jake comes home has arrived. I am filled with nerves. I am excited, but feel like it is our first date all over again. I have changed, he has changed, and we did all that apart. I dress Adaleigh in the cutest sailor dress, and we head out to get our men. Rick and Kara will be getting an apartment but Jake has decided with a new baby and such, he is getting a new roommate. Someone with the last name Stake.
I rented us a hotel room for the next two nights and then our flight leaves and we will spend six days in his hometown. The familiar tune of ‘God Bless America’ starts playing, and I can barely make out the ship coming in port. As it gets closer and closer, my anxiety heightens. I feel like I want to vomit and flee at the same time. Although we have been together for almost a year and a half, I feel like it is the first day I met him.
Once I see him, I run. He throws his bag down and catches me as I jump in his arms. My nerves, fears, anxiety all disappear, and all I can see is him. His mocha eyes, gorgeous smile, I feel his chest rippling under me and his arms holding me as tight as he can, and I silently send up a prayer, hoping that it will stay this good.
Chapter 18
Jake
Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvelous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top.
The nerves I had over seeing her again have disappeared. The moment I touched her and held her, my love for her consumed me. The time apart has been hell, and I was nervous we had drifted apart. She was busy doing her own thing, and I wasn’t able to be a part of it. I want to hold her against me as long as possible but I want to have her all to myself at the same time. I place her on her feet and bend down to give her a kiss. The moment our lips meet the tingling feeling that I have missed immediately runs through my body. Only she can do this to me. I quickly end the kiss before it becomes inappropriate and take her hand and nod towards the parking area so she will lead me to her Jeep.
As she is leading me towards the car, the first thing I notice is her weight loss. It is worse than the last pictures she sent and I am worried about her. What if she is sick and not telling me? Her hair has gotten longer, her color is good, and she doesn’t seem sick. There is a definite change in her; I don’t know if it is in the way she carries herself, or that the look of innocence she used to have is fading. Reaching the Jeep I pull her hand so she stops.
“Beautiful, what is going on with you?” She narrows her eyes and tilts her head to the side, but doesn’t answer me. “Paisley, you have lost so much weight, I am worried about you.”
“Oh, I don’t know, babe. I really think it was the stress of everything and all the changes in my schedule. Honestly, I feel fine.” I am pretty sure she is brushing off my concerns, not wanting to worry me, but there is definitely something going on.
“Well, now that I am home, I can pamper you and spoil you. Your wish is my command.”
She whispers, so softly I almost don’t hear her, “Just hold me, and don’t leave me again.” Her breath catches on the last word and she almost crumbles to the ground. I immediately grab for her and bring her to me; I maneuver the keys out of her hand and unlock the driver’s side. Once I am situated in the seat, I bring her across my lap and tuck her head into my neck. I hold her, just like she asked, and I will continue to until the end of time if that is what she needs. She is shaking in my arms, but not crying. I gently run my hands across her back and pull her a little tighter to me. I allow my cheek to rest on the top of her head hoping that my love for her will seep in and stop whatever is happening to her.
“What’s wrong, Pais? You are scaring me.” Her shivering seems to be relenting but her grip on me isn’t lessening. She held her finger up telling me to ‘give her a minute.’ So I continue to hold her until she is ready to talk to me.
“I don’t know what came over me. I saw you, and then I felt you, and I lost it. I didn’t realize I was holding so much in, and I am not exactly sure what it was. I know I missed you, I was nervous, scared and excited for this day, but I guess I didn’t allow myself to admit how much you being away affected me. I think I slowly was building my walls back up and seeing you crashed them all down, all at once. It was overwhelming.” It has been a year. I don’t understand where these walls are coming from.
“I am kind of lost here, Paisley.” She takes in a deep breath.
“I don’t want it to sound like seeing you and being in your arms isn’t a dream come true. It is. But I think I built this day up so much in my head, worked myself into a frenzy of nerves and then ‘BOOM’ it’s over. You are here, I am here, we are together, and it is all I wanted, but yet so much has changed. I had to learn to depend on myself again, something I didn’t do the whole time I have been with you. I always submitted to you, let you handle things, let you make the decisions. I liked that, but when you weren’t here, I had to figure it all out. It is all those things that just came to a boiling point.”
I don’t have words to comfort her because I am part of the reason she is overwhelmed. In my protection and sheltering her from the shit storm my life was becoming, I created a bubble around her, and when I wasn’t here to enforce that bubble, life crashed down on her. She is barely eighteen and living like she is twenty-two but doesn’t have the life skills to deal with the issues that have been created. I was her first real boyfriend, one that is four years older, in the Navy, has a past that is being brought in to my future, she was a high school student, getting ready to experience the best year of her life, when she derailed her plans to make it easier for us and in turn gave up a huge piece of herself. I encouraged that, reveled in the benefits, but never took into consideration the way it would affect her growth. Add in my protectiveness of her and we have a no-win situation.
“God, Paisley. I am sorry. I feel like I say that to you a lot. You gave up so much for us and I feel like I just keep taking and giving nothing in return.”
“Jake, I didn’t tell you this to make you feel bad. You do give me something . . . your love and that is all I really need. I won’t lie and say it was easy while you were gone because your arms have become my safe haven, and I didn’t have that. Nothing I just said was to place blame or make you apologize. It is what it is and now that your last deployment is over, I feel like we can begin life again. I am scared of the adjustment phase of getting acclimated to each other again, but I want you, I want this more than anything.”
“I love you so much. I never doubted that you were my end prize. You were in a way my beginning, middle and end. Until you, I never knew love could be so pure, without stipulations and demands. You give so much of yourself to me, freely, and I feel like I have allowed you to give and give while I just took. I promise you, beautiful. Not anymore. Now that I am back for good, you will once again be my main priority. My head wasn’t in the game for the past few months, being deployed is busy, long hours and fucks with your head when the girl you love is back here, and I really don’t know what is going on.” I show her how much better I can do and by the end of the kiss she is breathless, yet panting, wild and wanton and if I could get away with it I would lay her down and fuck her in the Jeep.
“Where to?” I ask her. She told me she had a surprise for me. She hands me the key to the hotel, and it is right on the beach. Short distance from here and that is a bonus. Even though there is an awkwardness between us, the tension is thick with sexual desire. “By the way, we are only here tonight, I got our flights changed to tomorrow.” I hope she is okay with leaving early.
“Whatever, babe. I am yours for fourteen days. I do only have twelve off from work, but you can come with me to meet the heathens.” I try to hide the shudder running through my body when she talks about the kids.
“We’ll see,” I shoot a wink at her. She sees right through my stall tactic and starts laughing. I steal a glance at her and I have missed that relaxed posture she is wearing right now. She is carefree, silly, at ease and just Paisley. She is the girl I fell in love with, and I want her to embrace that person and stay true to herself. “I’ve missed that right there.”
“What?”
“My Paisley. The person you are at this moment, I have missed her.”
“Well I think you just found her,” she leans over to give me a kiss on the cheek as we pull into the hotel. “I’m nervous, Jake. I feel like it is my first time all over again.”
“Well, I was there for that so I promise to go slowly, at your pace, and I just want you to relax.” I know I make it sound easy, but I am not nervous, anxious yes, but not nervous. I have never wanted to be buried in her so much in our entire relationship. I am craving that connection, us becoming one.
She hesitates as we cross the hotel room, and I honestly feel a bit guilty because all I can think about is climbing in between her legs and getting lost, and I have been on shore less than an hour. I’ve been on a ship with thousands of men, for six months . . . that is one hundred and eighty days with nothing but some lotion and my hand. My dick is winning the battle with my other head. When she steps forward she raises the hem of her dress to take it off, it is game on. I quickly meet her and remove the dress over her head. She has already slipped off her sandals and as I turn her around and walk her towards the bed I make quick work of her bra.
Gently sweeping her in my arms I lay her on the bed and notice she is trembling. I don’t know if it from nerves or desire, but I hope it is the latter. “Relax, Pais. I got you.”
“I know, Jake.” Those words of trust are all I need to spur me on. I take in her flawless form stretched out on the bed and lick my lips. This girl is all mine and has slowly turned into a woman while I was gone. Even with all the weight she lost she is still the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I start to slowly remove my clothes and she sits up to watch me. Climbing on her knees she places kisses on my chest as each inch is exposed. My skin is so hot I don’t know how it isn’t burning her lips. She follows with her hands helping me rid myself out of the uniform. Her breath hitches, and I know she has seen it. The infamous tattoo. It is sprawled across my bicep, and in simple blue lettering it just says, ‘Paisley.’ I kept it simple. It is surrounded by a cloud, and her name is entwined inside it.
“You are my heaven. My ultimate accomplishment was falling in love with you.” There is nothing else to say. I know she didn’t want her name tattooed on me, but she is etched in my heart forever so I wanted my skin to follow.
“Holy shit, babe. I know I shouldn’t love it, but I do. I know a man in uniform is sexy, but seeing you out of it is much better in my opinion.” I lean forward to push her back to the bed but she stops me. “Since we are playing show and tell, I have to show you something.” She begins to shimmy out of her lace thong and I can’t take a breath. Staring at me, to the right of her hipbone is a heart with devil horns and a pitchfork and embedded in the heart is ‘Jake.’
“When, beautiful?”
“Right after Adaleigh was born. I wanted to get it on my birthday, but I was interrupted. Nobody else knows about it, and it is for your eyes only. I just wanted to let you know, every inch of me is yours. Always.” I crush her mouth with mine. I am choked up and the emotion is causing my heart to skip a few beats and pound out of my chest. I need her now, but I need to take my time. I quickly dispose of her underwear and follow her down to the bed. I delight in the feel of skin against skin before my desire for her takes over. I rise up to my knees, straddling her, and start with soft kisses across her collarbone to each ear where I nibble on her lobe.
When I have had my fill of that area, I make my way down and reach her breasts. I run my tongue around each nipple going back and forth and then suck them in my mouth. Her moans are about to make my dick burst and it has a mind of its own wanting to find her and claim her. I sit up and allow my fingertips to caress her body, from her neck to her stomach, one on each side, just drifting down her sides. She is covered in goose bumps and starts lifting her hips up to find me. I allow my hands to take the same route upwards this time and finally I position myself at her entrance.
Pushing in, I feel her clench around me and she is so damn tight, I don’t dare enter her in one push. I work my way in slowly with shallow thrusts until I am fully seated and still. I need a moment. “More, Jake. I need more,” she pleads with me. Grabbing on to her hipbones I pull all the way out and slam back in. She howls with pleasure mixed with pain and screams, “Like that, don’t stop.” So I don’t. Over and over I pound into her, not sure if it too powerful for her but I know I can’t stop. She raises her legs around my hips and digs her heels into my back to get more friction and then she shatters. I drive harder and harder into her until I am chasing my own release and spill inside of her.