Piercing Silence (14 page)

Jacque nodded but didn’t say anything.

Jen pulled away and took a second look at
her friend. Whatever it was that she’d been up to, it had put her
through the ringer and caused her mate to flip his ever loving
lid.

“Jennifer, perhaps, we should go on ahead.
We need to get back and see to Thia,” Decebel said gently as he
reached out a hand for her. Jen gave Jacque one last look before
taking Decebel’s hand and letting him lead her away. She didn’t
want to go. She wanted to know what had happened and what had put
that defeated look in her friend’s eyes. But Jacque was Fane’s wife
and some things weren’t her business anymore. Jen didn’t like it,
but she understood. She just hoped that Jacque would be willing to
open up to her later. She loved the redhead like a sister and
wanted to help in any way she could, even if it was only as a
shoulder to lean on.

“They will be
fine,”
Decebel said silently to her. Her
anxiety was rolling off of her and through their bond.

“Fane looked like a rabid
dog. Whatever it is, it’s not something that a simply apology is
going to fix,”
Jen pointed out.

“Perhaps not, but we mate for life. They
have nothing but time to work it out.”

Jen squeezed his hand as
she looked up at him.
“Is that why you
sometimes just shake your head and walk away from a fight, which
you know I hate by the way.”

Decebel chuckled.
“Baby, you know there’s almost nothing I like
better than a good fight with you. But there are just some things
that don’t deserve our emotional energy. Why waste it on trivial
things? If I walk away, then you have to think about the situation
rationally. And you come to that realization much quicker than if I
tried to convince you of it.”

“Stupid, smart
werewolf,”
she growled.

“Stupid, smart?”

“Shut up, you know what I mean.”

“I’ll take your backhanded comment simply
because I know that as long as I’m on the receiving end of your
torment, it means you love me. It’s when you ignore me that I know
I should be worried.”

“See?”
Jen smiled up at him.
“You’re stupid
smart.”

Decebel released her hand and smacked her on
her backside. “Behave.”

“And bore you to tears? No thank you.”

Chapter 15

A
s Jacque and Fane made their way down the hall to their room,
her stomach began to churn. She knew she had to face Fane. They
needed to talk, to open up about their fears and worries, but
Jacque felt so raw. It was as if all of her flesh had been removed,
leaving her nerve endings exposed to the elements around
her.

Jacque could feel the
anger radiating off of Fane, and for the first time in a while, it
wasn’t him she wanted to run to. There’s a saying,
sometimes only a mother will
do
, and that’s how Jacque suddenly felt in
that moment. She was six months pregnant with her first child, she
was emotional and had made a stupid impulsive decision, and―by
golly―she just wanted her mama.

Fane opened the door and stepped aside so
that she could enter before him. Jacque’s heart felt as though it
was going to beat straight up her throat and out of her mouth. She
swallowed hard as she turned to face Fane. He closed the door
quietly behind him. His movements were slow and calculated like a
coil being turned tighter and tighter.

They stood there facing each other, Jacque
watching him while Fane’s eyes were fixed on the floor. She noticed
his hands clenching and unclenching. She wanted to say something,
but her brain was flooded with emotions, and words would not form
into any coherent thought.

After several minutes of tense silence,
Fane’s voice caused her to shiver.

“What do you need?”

Jacque’s brow drew together as she looked at
him. “What?” She wasn’t being obtuse; she just didn’t understand
what he was asking.

“Right now,” Fane said slowly. “What do you
need right now, in this moment?”

For you to not be so
patient and understanding
. A voice inside
of her answered though she didn’t say that out loud. “I,” she
started but then stopped because how do you tell your mate that you
need your mama?

“Jacquelyn, I have told you from the
beginning that your needs would always come first. Regardless of
the fact that I want to know why you were doing what you were, I
need to make sure you are taken care of. We can deal with the rest
after.”

Jacque felt tears building in her eyes which
only served to frustrate her more. She felt like a child. When she
still didn’t say anything, Fane reached into the bag he’d carried
for her and pulled out her cell phone. He dialed a number and met
her eyes as he waited for whoever it was he was calling to answer.
She could have looked through their bond into his thoughts, but she
didn’t want to hear anything that would reveal just how truly angry
and disappointed with her that he was.

“Lilly.”

Jacque’s head snapped up at the sound of her
mother’s name on Fane’s lips.

“Well, I don’t know if it’s necessarily fine
but she isn’t in danger or hurt. But. . .” Fane paused as his blue
eyes met Jacque’s. “I think my mate needs to spend some time with
you.”

Jacque tuned out the rest of the
conversation. She was too taken aback that Fane had called her mom.
She had thought she’d been hiding at least those emotions from him,
but they must have been flowing off of her like rain off a slanted
roof.

Several minutes later, Jacque looked up when
she felt a hand under her chin. She would know that touch anywhere
and she welcomed it. Her eyes met Fane’s. She wanted to say she was
sorry and wanted to explain that she wasn’t trying to avoid
him.

“I love you,” he told her, his deep voice
soothing her. “This isn’t over and I am angry with you, but that
doesn’t change the fact that I choose to love you no matter what.
We’ll talk about everything once you’ve spent some time with your
mom. She’s already on her way.” He leaned forward quickly and
pressed a kiss to her lips. It was firm, commanding her attention,
and yet it was also a promise of his words. Fane loved her, no
matter what. He. Loved. Her.

“Y
ou know that I love you right? And I’m here for you?” Lilly
told her daughter as they sat in the indoor garden of the Romania
Pack mansion. It was still one of Jacque’s favorite places to go
when she needed to think or decompress. It was a two-hour drive―
capable by only the most rugged four wheel drive vehicles―down
windy mountain roads across rocky terrain from Cypher’s mountain to
the mansion. Lilly had made it in an hour and a half.

Jacque nodded. “How are things with Cypher?”
she asked, clearly stalling. The look her mother gave her made it
clear that the older woman was aware of her tactics. Luckily she
played along.

“It’s interesting.” Lilly smiled and the
light in her eyes made Jacque feel a tiny bit better. She was so
thankful that her mom had found someone. Regardless of whether
she’d ever said it, she’d pined for Dillon. Even though she knew
that he would never be hers again, she had loved him for all those
years.

“I imagine living with warlocks would
definitely be interesting.” Jacque grinned though she could tell it
didn’t reach her eyes.

Lilly stared back at her, waiting patiently,
making it clear that she was going to let Jacque open up at her own
pace.

Might as well go ahead get
this band-aid ripped off,
Jacque thought
to herself. Once the flood gates opened, everything just came
pouring out. Jacque told her about Fane and the nightmares, about
her insecurities about being a mother, about her worries for Fane
and what he was going through, and finally about how she’d made the
brilliant decision to seek out help from the Fates. She told Lilly
about the Great Luna coming to her and doing the whole
Ghosts of Christmas past
deal and about how awful it had been to watch her life play
out without Fane in it. Once every ounce of the story had been
recounted Jacque sat in silence waiting for her mother’s
response.

“I know that must have been very painful to
see,” Lilly began. “And though you know now that it wouldn’t have
been the right decision, it was something you needed to see.
Sometimes we truly think the grass is greener when in fact all
grass withers as seasons change, and then it regrows healthy and
green once again. You and Fane are going to have to learn to give
not only each other grace but yourselves as well.” Lilly paused and
her eyes took on that faraway look that said she was remembering
something from a long time ago. “You also need to accept that
though it sucks to make mistakes or poor choices good can come of
them. You can let this experience draw you and Fane closer
together; you can let it help you learn that there are different
seasons in life and some are more difficult than others but they
all pass. You just need to find the joy even in those difficult
seasons because that is what will help you get through them intact.
Right now, though you are terrified of being a mom―which is totally
normal―the silver lining is that you are going to have this
precious little life that you and Fane created together.” A single
tear ran down her mom’s cheek as Lilly smiled at her. “I don’t
think it’s possible to truly grasp what it will feel like the first
time you hold your baby. It’s scary, exciting, overwhelming, and
unbelievably life changing all at once. When you start to feel
those insecurities―which will come ever more frequently as you get
closer to your due date―just take a deep breath and remember, that
just like Fane was destined for you, this baby was destined for you
and Fane. You are the parents that he or she needs. You are the
ones who were deemed best to love, nurture, and discipline your
baby. It is one of the greatest honors bestowed upon humans to
create life and then sustain it. You will learn what it means to
truly be selfless. You will learn what it means to love without
conditions. Most of all you will learn that each day is a new day,
and if we screw up on this one, we can start again tomorrow.”

Jacque’s hands had gravitated to her swollen
abdomen on their own as her mom had spoken. She felt her child
kick, moving about inside of her stomach, somehow reassuring Jacque
that everything was indeed how it should be. Jacque pictured
herself holding their baby for the first time and knew everything
her mother said was true. She was still scared, but things seemed
less daunting somehow.

“Thank you,” Jacque said as she wiped her
own tears away.

Lilly nodded. “That’s what a mother is here
for. We won’t get it right a lot of the time, but occasionally we
actually have profound things to say. I’m convinced we should
record those moments so the rest of the time when we are stumbling
around just trying to make sure we put on matching shoes every day,
we can be reminded that in the midst of those times we really are
getting wiser.”

Jacque laughed. “Well, that at least is
reassuring.” Jacque let out a breath that she felt as if she’d been
holding since the moment the Great Luna began their little
adventure. She knew she still had to face Fane, but she did feel
more grounded.

Lilly patted her leg as she stood up from
their spot in the gazebo. “I’m just a phone call away if you need
me, day or night.”

Jacque stood and hugged Lilly. When they
stepped back she saw a fleeting moment of worry on her mom’s face.
The hairs of the back of Jacque’s neck stood on end and she was
overcome with a sinking feeling. “Is everything really going okay
with Cypher and the warlocks?” she asked.

Lilly started to nod but then stopped. She
looked down at her fidgeting hands for a few seconds before
answering. “Things between Cypher and I are good. I mean we’re
working through the whole over protective yet inappropriate
decision of sending me away during that stuff with his brother. We
are growing closer, but it is an adjustment to go from being single
for eighteen years to suddenly having someone else’s feelings to
consider.”

Jacque could tell that her mom was holding
something back. “I’m not a kid anymore, Mom; you can be honest with
me.”

A tired smile played on Lilly’s lips.
“Believe me, I know you aren’t a child anymore. That doesn’t mean
that I have lost my need to protect you. But I suppose after
everything you’ve been through, you can handle this.” She let out a
deep breath before plowing forward. “Something is wrong with
Cypher’s people―something hard to explain. It’s like. . .” She
shook her head. “I mean, I don’t fully understand it but it’s like
their magic is dying, and it’s causing something inside of them to
die as well.”