Pinned Up (Pinned Up Trilogy) (20 page)

Part of me is glad, I don’t want to talk or think about Josh even though guilt is surprisingly consuming me. The other side is disappointed that he isn’t attempting to explain his actions. I know he can’t still be in jail, he has money and I’m sure he’s already been released. Who am I kidding? There’s nothing to clarify. He was all over her! He was holding onto her tight and was rubbing her ass as if there were a genie inside who was about to grant him three wishes!

Let it go, Nina. Just let him go.

When I return to the living room, Kade is awake and heading to the kitchen to prepare some coffee.

“Hey, Cheesecake. How do you feel?” He asks with concern deep in his features.

“Like shit. Sorry you missed going out last night and dealt with my drama instead.” I feel it’s necessary to apologize for my foolish behavior.

“You should be apologizing for your singing. It’s dreadful!” He laughs.

“What? You’re crazy! I sing all the time.” I’m offended. Clearly, he’s grouchy because he hasn’t had his cup of mojo this morning.

“Just because you do it all the time doesn’t mean you’re any good. Next time you sing, you need to focus on all the mirrors shattering around you. That’s not a coincidence.” He chuckles.

I give Kade the evil eye. “You’re such an ass. But regardless, I don’t care. I’m going to keep singing whether you like it or not. At least, I’m not completely clueless and sign up to audition for
American Idol
. I feel sorry for the ones who truly believe they can sing and sound like donkeys, poor things.”

“I would never let you go on
American Idol
. You’re my best friend and if you look bad, then I do too. And we can’t have that! I have a reputation to uphold!” He’s so silly.

I sigh. “I love how you turn everything about you.”

“Thank you. It’s a gift. Now, let’s get down to the nitty gritty. What are you gonna do about Josh?” Ugh. It’s the last question I want to hear, especially from my bestie.

“There’s nothing to do. He played me, I’m done with him, and I’m pretty sure he’s finished with me too. Hello? He was practically fucking a girl right in front of me and I busted his head open. I’m pretty sure those two things justify our breakup.” I remind him.

Kade gives me a look of pity. “You know that I’ll always be on your side no matter how psycho and wrong you can be, but I do think you and Josh should talk things out first. Something doesn’t seem right. I feel like he really likes you and wouldn’t do something to sabotage your relationship, let alone right in front of you. He was pissed as fuck last night, I don’t think he would’ve been so adamant about explaining himself if he didn’t care. If you still feel like he belongs in hell after you speak with him, than you and I can go to a gay bar and write his name and number indicating he’s ready for a good time all over the men’s bathroom. Does that sound like a plan?”

“Awww you’re so sweet. I love it when you have your thinking cap on. Still not sure about talking to him, we’ll see.” I say in deep thought.

The rest of the day is uneventful. I lounge in my pjs and substitute two of my meals with two Ben & Jerry’s ice cream pints, Phish Food and Chunky Monkey. Along with my frozen treats, I also eat three cannoli, two biscotti, half a pan of brownies, a large bag of Takis chips, and wash my food down with a large diet Coke because I’m on a diet and don’t need the extra calories. Kade gets sick of seeing me moping around and forces me to release my negativity onto Lucifer by running at least five miles. I surprise myself and run seven and a half. I feel slightly better and prepare for the work week ahead.

My Monday morning is off to a bad start. I’m running late, don’t have breakfast or time to gather up snacks. Work is extremely busy and chaotic, more than usual. Today, my voicemail box is maxed out with solely victims’ calls. By lunchtime, I’m mentally drained after speaking to the victims or the parents and discussing their cases.

As I’m headed to the vending machine for a quick snack, Chris, a young attorney invites me to lunch. I’m so hungry, I agree without giving it a second thought. In the past, he’s asked me out a few times, but I’ve repetitiously declined his requests. I simply refuse to date someone from work, it complicates things. Today, I just need a distraction. It’s not a big deal, just lunch with a coworker. Besides, he’s pretty easy on the eyes with his bright blues and flawless, tan skin. He’s tall, handsome, and clean cut. Usually, I don’t like attorneys since sometimes they come across as super dull and geeky or even worse, arrogant and full of shit. But this guy seems nice enough for me to spend the next hour with.

We walk across the street to a Greek restaurant. During lunch hour, the place is packed. I order a Mediterranean salad; guilt still overwhelms me from recent poor food choices. Having special treats on occasion is fine, but everything I ate yesterday combined was full blown madness. I’m enjoying my salad and company with Chris. He’s venting about the two cases he just received. Both are about single women who allowed strange men into their homes and as a result, their kids were molested. A single mom has every right to continue living her life. The issue is that the women in our caseloads brought in any Tom, Dick, or Harry into their house, completely disregarding the security of their family. Then, they have the audacity to act shocked once they find out these strangers they’ve been with for a short period are only with them to prey upon their children. We also discuss a specific case where the man molested his child and the wife’s sole concern was her husband and his freedom. She didn’t care that her own flesh was the victim; her main concern was finding ways to free her husband. It’s a sad, disturbing, and infuriating case. We rant about the justice system and the politics behind it. We’re both deep in conversation when I hear, “Valentina.”

I almost choke on my food when I hear the sound of his voice.

“Who’s this?” Josh directs the question at me as he points to Chris.
Oh, my goodness. I’m so not in the mood for this right now.

“Josh, this is a coworker, but that’s none of your concern. Please leave.” I beg. The last thing I need is a dramatic spectacle like the one that occurred this weekend.

“Get up.” Josh commands sternly. “We need to talk.”

As I’m sitting, looking up at Josh, I feel intimidated. He looks enraged in his tall and manly stance. His deep voice makes my body shiver. Immediately, I sense my nipples harden as they long to be in his mouth.
What the fuck, Nina! Focus! He’s not your man anymore and he’s going to cause a scene!

“We were just about to leave and go back to work. My lunch break is over. Our talk will have to wait.” I do my best to hold my ground.

“You can be a few minutes late. We need to talk. Now.” He reiterates with an agitated expression. I notice he’s taking deep breaths and is trying to calm down, but is failing miserably.
Is that steam coming out of his ears?

Chris intervenes. “Clearly, you didn’t hear the lady. She’s going back to work and doesn’t want to speak with you.”

Oh, shit.

Josh faces Chris and lowers his body, positioning himself slightly above Chris. “I heard MY lady just fine. I suggest—”

I cut Josh off and grab him by his arm. “Come on, let’s go. Sorry, Chris. I’ll see you in the office later.”

Josh slowly backs away from Chris, but maintains eye contact with him. I attempt to lead Josh out of the restaurant with as much force as possible, yet still remain inconspicuous. I feel so embarrassed with Chris. Once we step outside, I do my best to remain focused and not allow Josh to manipulate the conversation, but I feel so small compared to him as he hovers over me. I disregard the feeling and use all my pent-up anger to glare at him.

“I don’t have time to play your little games, Josh. I have to go back to work. I would never go to your office and behave the way you just did right now. It’s pretty psycho of you and you’re behaving like a stalker. To be honest, it doesn’t suit you.” I’m afraid to give in to him, so I do my best to push him away and keep our conversation short.

Josh gives me an evil laugh. “I’ll admit to the stalker part, but psycho? You busted my head open and called the cops on me! That’s some fucked up shit! That pretty much qualifies you for psycho of the year if you ask me.”

“Well, I didn’t. Now, leave. I have to go back to work.” I’m getting restless now.

“We need to talk about what happened this weekend. Also, I don’t want you hanging around that guy.” His stare is uncompromising.

“Are you fuckin’ serious? Are you aware that you were practically jumping that dirty whore’s bones right in front of me? You have absolutely no say in anything pertaining to my life. I don’t give a fuck if you don’t want me hanging around him. I didn’t care for you being with that cheap slut, yet that didn’t stop you. I suggest you check yourself before you start making demands from me.” Now, I’m furious.

“Damn you, woman! Nicole is a dirty hoe. You can’t penalize me for her actions. Can you please just fuckin’ talk to me and let me explain without getting yourself worked up?” Josh runs his fingers through his hair and clenches his jaw; he tries to remain calm, but fails.

“I’m not ready. Give me a few days and then maybe we can discuss things like mature adults. Right now, I’m not there yet. Please leave and give me time.” I don’t know what else to say. I have an array of mixed emotions.

“Fine. I’ll be waiting for you. Even though you’re psycho, I still miss you.” Josh tells me as he tries to get close to me.

“Don’t.” I reply.

Chapter 8 (Nina)

Gifts

When I arrive home, I inform Kade of my latest drama. He insists that I communicate with Josh as soon as possible to clear the air between us. I’m simply not ready for such a confrontation. I decide to put the situation in the back of my mind and not dwell on it. It’s definitely easier said than done.

A few days pass, now it’s Friday, the end of the work week. I meet with Emme for lunch. I inform her that I’ve finally built the courage to speak with Josh. We agree that I should surprise him and show up at his house after work unexpectedly. He has a set routine for himself. On Fridays, he usually leaves his office early to hang out at the gym for a long workout. By the time I get off work, he should be home. I thank Emme for hearing me out and putting up with me. I love her.

I reach Josh’s house and notice that his truck is parked in his driveway. The gate is open, so I’m able to walk into the premises and ring the doorbell even though I know he has a key above one of the light sconces by his door. I ring the buzzer again. Still no response, but decide to wait a bit longer. Right as I’m about to leave, the door opens. Instantly, I feel my stomach turn and vile liquid rise up my throat when I see a half-naked woman answer the door. Nicole.
The whore.

“Yes? Can I help you?” She asks with a devious leer. She’s hiding most of her body behind the door, but I can clearly see her open shirt displaying her bra and bite marks throughout her breasts. Her hair looks disheveled and her breathing is at a rapid pace.

I’m too stunned to move or speak. Eventually, I manage to lace my words with venom and say, “You dirty cunt. I hope that when you kissed him, you were able to taste my pussy’s juice all over his mouth and dick.”

I know I’m being vulgar, but I don’t give a fuck. I know I should be classy and not sink to her level, but all I see is red. I can’t comprehend rationality at this point. I want to smash her face in with my foot, but I won’t. I refuse to give Josh the satisfaction of seeing me fight over him like some fuckin’ dog.

“Is that why he tastes so damn good?” Nicole has the audacity to ask, striking me back with her own poisonous words.

I can’t believe this conniving bitch just said that! Walk away, Nina. Just walk away.

“I see you finally sank your claws into him. Well, you can have him.” I state as I turn my back to leave. Just then, I hear a noise behind her, I notice Josh wet and naked with just a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Nina!” He yells.

Seeing them next to each other shatters my heart and spirit. It’s over. I wasted my feelings, trust, and hope on the wrong person.
Let him go, Nina. He’s not worth another second of your time.

“Don’t come after me ever again, Josh. I’m done. You and this dirty slut belong together.” I feel my eyes burn as they swell up with tears, but I’m determined not to shed them, especially in front of Josh and his whore.

I walk away as fast as I can until I reach my car.

“Nina! Wait! I can explain!” Josh tries to chase after me, but I’m already in the car.

“Fuck you and your explanation!” I yell out as I drive away.

The hurt from seeing them together is overwhelming, but now I have another reality to deal with first. I’m terrified of driving down this hill, usually with Josh by my side, I feel safe and conquer my fears. But now, that anxiety is at a full force. I refuse to let him hinder my progress. I don’t need him; I can do this by myself. With determination and all my will power, I slowly drive down the hill. Once I reach level ground, I take off as if my ass were on fire.