Pinned Up (Pinned Up Trilogy) (32 page)

“Somehow, Mateo found out that Dillon was the photographer of every portrait I have of you. Mateo coveted you because he wanted to take what was mine. He assumed I loved you in a romantic way, never did he imagine it was in a fatherly manner. One of my informants was security for Mateo. He notified me that Mateo was meeting with Dillon and a model for one of his businesses. Instantly, I knew he had found you. I rushed here as fast as I could under one of my aliases. The rest, you’re aware of.” Diego exhales deeply, finally feeling relief for admitting his truth to me.

I’m left in an emotional state of shambles, my head is spinning, and my heart is racing. All this new information has me feeling distraught, yet slightly in awe with the man in front of me. Diego Cruz is a ruthless man, a murderer, drug trafficker, the leader of a cartel, and…my father. Most of his actions are merciless and despicable, but a few were caused out of love for Celeste and me. How can I respect him or tolerate him when his hands are full of innocent blood shed? Do some of his reasons justify his actions and make him less of a monster?

As my mind is in turmoil, Diego interrupts my thoughts. “I know I’ve done malicious things in this world, things that I am not proud of. I’m ashamed of the example I’ve set as a father. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but know that I am truly sorry for abandoning you, not protecting you enough, putting you in danger, and most important, for never giving you my love. Despite being an evil man, you have always been in my heart. I love you, hija and hope that one day you’ll be able to grant me the forgiveness that I know I don’t deserve. Your mother is wonderful woman who did an amazing job raising you. You’re the pride in my eyes, the only thing in this world I did right. I don’t have the entitlement to take claim on you, but I want you to know how much I admire the woman you have become, you’re strong, determined, intelligent, absolutely beautiful, and a fighter. Staying away from you was the only way of ensuring your safety. I hope that one day, you can understand that.” Now, Diego’s tears are flowing freely. Just then, the guard walks in and informs me our visit is over. Where did the time go? It feels as if I just got here. I barely said a few words.

“I’ll put your name on the visiting list, just in case you have any more questions for me.” Diego says hopefully. “It was really nice seeing you. Thank you for coming. Drive safely. I love you, hija.” I can easily see he doesn’t want me to leave. I nod and give him a half smile as I hang up the phone and stand to depart. There’s so much I would like to say and ask, but I can’t seem to speak past the lump in my throat. I wave at him slightly as a traitorous tear escapes my eye. I walk out of the room leaving my father behind.

I return to my car feeling distraught. I sit in the parking lot of the dreary building gathering my thoughts. For some reason, the chain with the dog tags of both Bettys catches my attention. I remove the chain from the rear view mirror and notice the back of one of the dog tags reads, “The cost of forgiveness is nothing, yet its value is priceless.” My chest tightens. Josh and Diego come to mind. The other dog tag has engraved, “I love you. You’re always in my thoughts. – Josh” It’s strange how I am just now noticing his words that have been with me since the day I received his gift.

As I’m driving home, I do my best not to think of the disturbing conversation I had with Diego. I’ll be reliving the emotions from that discussion once I retell it to everyone who is directly affected by my father’s actions. Right away, I think of Josh. In a way, my father saved him and his mom from Mateo, but on the other hand, Diego murdered his grandparents. I have to tell him, he deserves to have closure in his life regarding his family. How will he feel? Whatever he experiences, I’ll be there to support him. I decide to push all my thoughts aside and simply enjoy the drive with Betty. I turn on some music, the song, “Heavy Cross” by the Gossip begins to play, I crank up the volume and lower the rag top of my car. The loud lyrics vibrating through my soul and the long drive put my nerves at ease.

I head to the hospital. I can’t wait to see Josh and finally let him know that I’m aware he didn’t cheat. I don’t want another minute to pass without the truth being exposed. His mom is feeling much better and I simply can’t hold back on loving him any longer. Later, we can discuss the conversation I had with Diego, but as of now, I need to be in his arms.

I walk into Celeste’s room and I’m caught completely by surprise. To my left is a stranger, a man I’ve never met. He’s an older, distinguished gentleman dressed in a refined suit. He’s handsome with silver hair; his tan face looks at Celeste with absolute adoration.

“Nina, my dear, I’m so glad to see you. Please, let me introduce you to my friend, Michael.” Celeste is beaming. She’s definitely feeling a lot better. “He’s the friend I told you about who lives in my building.” She adds.

Oh, her male friend. Of course, I remember hearing about him. Josh jokingly referred to him as a gigolo. “Hello, Michael. It’s nice to finally meet you.” I’m thrilled to meet him, knowing that Celeste has a friend who is concerned for her, puts my mind at ease. They both seem to be happy in each other’s company.

“The pleasure is all mine, Nina. I would have been here sooner, but I just found out today that my Celeste was in the hospital. I’ve been a mess. It’s been nearly two weeks since I last heard from her. The worst thoughts crossed my mind. I’m just relieved she’s feeling better and may even be released this weekend if she continues to do well. I’m so glad I thought of asking the concierge of her whereabouts. He told me her son, Josh informed him of Celeste’s hospitalization when he stopped by to pick up some of her personal things. I came as soon as I found out.” Michael’s rambling is endearing. At once, I like him.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here and keeping her good company.” I can’t help but smile warmly at the two of them.

“Me too.” Michael says with a sigh of relief.

I turn my attention to my right side. Sitting beside Celeste is none other than my mom and next to her, holding her hand is Dillon. As an automatic reflex to my shock, my jaw drops. Well, well, well look who became extra friendly. “Hello, mother. Hi, Dillon. How are you guys? Anything new happen lately? Anything you care to discuss?” I ask with extreme curiosity seeping from my questions.

My mom looks at Dillon with a radiant smile and says, “Nope.” Dillon smiles shyly and runs his free hand through his hair. My mom then directs her focus on me and gives me a wink along with a devilish smirk.
Oh. My. God. My mom’s a cougar! Way to go, mom!
She’s slightly over a decade older than Dillon. I couldn’t be happier for them.

After seeing both ladies happy and moving on with their lives, I decide it’s best to hold onto the conversation I had with Diego. Why rain on their parade? We’ve all been through a lot lately; happiness on all ends is well deserved. Once Celeste is fully recovered and I’m able to speak with her and my mom in private, I’ll notify them of my discussion with Diego and my new found information. After all, they deserve to have closure as well. For now, they need to just focus on their relationships and living a peaceful, happy life.

“Celeste, where’s Josh?” I ask.

“He left a short while ago; he had to take care of some work issues.” She replies.

Damn! I missed him. I guess I’m going to have to go hunting for my man. “Okay, well I’ll let you crazy kids continue to get acquainted. Call me if you need anything, otherwise, I’ll be here tomorrow for a nice, LONG visit.” I emphasize the word long, it’s important they know I want all the juicy details about them going steady with these boys. I grin at Celeste and my mom while raising my eyebrows twice at them. They both laugh. They’re so cute.

I look at the time and realize that Josh is probably at his office. Since he’s usually the stalker, I decide to reverse the rolls. I ask Siri on my iPhone the location of E-Con Solutions.

Siri responds in her automated voice with, “I found fifteen places matching ‘Econ’ a little ways from you.”

I scroll through the list she provides and realize none of those companies belong to Josh. I reply to her response. “Siri, you’re pissing me off. You gave me all the wrong businesses.”

“You know what they say about blaming the messenger, Nina.” Siri has the audacity to be a smart ass and give me an attitude. I’m so not in the mood for her. I need to find my man. Why haven’t I ever been to his job?

“Ugh! I’m pissed, Siri!” I yell into my phone.

“Not at me, I hope.” Siri replies.

“You’re not doing your fuckin’ job and giving me the info I need!” Now, this bitch is really crawling under my skin.

“I think that’s subject to opinion, Nina.” Siri informs me in her robotic voice.

Screw this bitch, I’m done with her. She’s testing my nonexistent patience. I get on the internet using my phone. Leave it to Google to come through for me. I’m a happy camper once I get the address to Josh’s company.
Wait a second; did I just get into a fight with my phone?

I finally arrive to Josh’s work. Instantly, I’m astonished with the sky rise structure and its grandeur, it’s located in the heart of the Financial district. The skyscraper has a tall base that is glass enclosed; the shape of the building is cylindrical with granite and glass edges. Right away, I recognize this place; it envelops a public plaza that is used in the summertime for concerts. I used to come by during lunch all the time and listen to the various genres of music. What a small world. As I enter, I ask the information attendant which floor E-Con Solutions is found. He directs me to take the elevator and head to the fortieth floor.

When I finally reach that level and the elevator doors open, I step into the lobby of Josh’s office. The bamboo floors catch my attention for some reason. The large receptionist’s area is covered with colored glass that has such an intricate pattern it looks like a beautiful piece of art. That’s about the only color I see. Everything else is a neutral tone with polished steel. The style is modern, minimal, and luxurious. If I know Josh, I’m sure he insisted on everything in his floor being eco-friendly.

I ask the young and pretty receptionist if I can see Mr. Ryan. She inquires if I have an appointment with him. Embarrassed, I tell her no. It was very presumptuous of me to assume Josh would drop what he was doing just to see me. The receptionist informs me he’s gone for the day. She believes he may be at the company’s warehouse. I ask her if she can call to see if he’s there, so that I don’t have to make another pointless trip. I don’t want to call Josh myself; I want to completely catch him off guard. I know it sounds silly, but it’s what I want to do.

The receptionist informs me that he did stop by the warehouse and left a few minutes ago. I thank her for her time and rush to the elevator. It seems to take forever to arrive. I finally leave and head out to get my man. I continue with my stalker tendencies and drive to his house. When I get there, I ring the doorbell several times. No answer. Screw it. If I’m going to play the role, I might as well do it right. I grab the key that’s located above the light sconce near his door. I enter Josh’s house and make myself comfortable in his living room while I wait for him. Luckily, one of my favorite movies is on TV. Eventually, I fall asleep on his couch watching the movie,
Troop Beverly Hills
…don’t judge me.

I wake up slightly past dawn. I realize Josh didn’t spend the night in his house. Instantly, my spirit is broken. I turn everything off and leave his house. As I’m driving home, my imagination begins to speculate thoughts of Josh moving on. Did I lose him? I wonder. My mood is past melancholy, I feel full blown depression hit me. By the time I arrive home, I’m ready to let sleep overtake me and help me forget about Josh not being at his house. I know he wasn’t in the hospital with his mom because visiting ends in the late evening. I need to shut him off from my mind, so I fall asleep.

Chapter 14 (Nina)

Okay

I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing. I look at the screen and notice Josh has called me three times and left voicemail messages. I listen to his recorded voice where he’s asking me to get in contact with him soon. I feel flustered and contemplate on calling him.
Don’t be such a drama queen, Nina! Call his ass! Enough with the damn pity party already!

I don’t feel like mentally fighting with myself so I cave and give Josh a call.

“Hey.” He answers with his deep voice. “Is everything okay? I was told you stopped by the office yesterday. Why didn’t you call me?” Mmmm…I forgot how sexy his voice sounds, it’s been a long time since we last spoke on the phone. Usually, we just send each other brief text messages. Oh, how I miss him. I sigh.

“Nina?” He asks with concern in his voice. I don’t want him to worry, that wasn’t my intention. He has a lot on his mind as is, no need for me to make him think something bad has occurred.

“Everything is fine. I just wanted to talk to you, that’s all. No biggie.” I respond, but omit being at his house. Inside, I’m dying to know where the hell he was last night. I don’t ask though, I don’t have the right to interrogate him.