Authors: Faith Bleasdale
Pinstripes (49 page)
As day broke the three girls sat huddled together. Clara had stopped shaking about two hours earlier and Virginia had made more coffee to keep them awake. Ella had never seen anyone look so fragile and she knew that they had been given one last chance to do something.
A phone call, a packed bag and James was all it took. Ella couldn
’t help noticing the look in Virginia’s eyes when the handsome heir to Clara’s family fortune walked in. He hugged her, hugged Ella and took Clara in his arms. “Tell me what happened,” he said.
“
It’s cocaine,” Virginia said.
“
You knew about this? You knew and you didn’t tell me?” James shouted at her. After what they had been through last night, Virginia burst into tears. She was exhausted, they were all exhausted.
Ella said firmly,
“James a word in the kitchen. Virginia, stay with Clara.” She grabbed his arm and marched him out of the room.
“
We couldn’t tell you. Clara promised us it was over; she kept saying it was under control. You are the last person we’d tell because she loves you more than life itself and she feels ashamed of herself. If we’d got you involved before she let us she would have shut us all out and she probably would have died. Now Virginia has been in pieces about you, about Clara and about the drugs. We would never have let her get like this if we could have done anything to stop it. The reason she tipped over the edge was because you told her about Virginia and you. It ate her up with jealousy. So don’t blame us. You saw her as we did. You couldn’t tell that she was off her head and neither could we. We tried, James, and when we couldn’t do any more we called you.”
“
I’m sorry. I don’t blame you, I blame myself. I should have seen she was in trouble.”
“
Then fix her, James.” They walked back into the sitting room.
“
Sis, I love you, darling, don’t kill yourself.” They saw the tears in his eyes.
As he carried her to the car, Ella and Virginia trailed behind him with her bag.
“I’ll take care of her, don’t worry, and I’ll call you,” he said. Ella kissed Clara’s cheek, and Virginia did the same.
“Thank
you,” Clara whispered, as James put her into his car.
It seemed a long time ago that they had witnessed Clara being taken away, and although they had spoken to her, this was the first time they had been allowed to visit. The first time she’d been allowed to phone she had begged them to go and get her. On the second she had told them she hated them. On the third, she had apologised, and on the last she had asked them to visit.
They drove up in Ella
’s little Peugeot, which she had bought to replace the TVR.
“
A bit of a come-down,” Virginia had joked, as she got in.
“
Yeah, but when you’re going to be a student you need the money. I could probably live for a year off the money I got for my TVR,” Ella laughed, “and of course, it would hardly have fitted with the lifestyle. If I went to college in that they’d probably throw me out. And no one is going to get the chance to throw me out.” They smiled conspiratorially.
Ella had been accepted on an access course. She planned to study economics – she still loved it. Everyone, including Liam who was now a big part of her life, had encouraged her. She had moved in with Jackie and she saw Virginia all the time. She had been building bridges with her family; she had started to laugh again; she felt happy with who she was. She still called herself Ella: she had decided to leave Eloise buried in Manchester.
***
Virginia and James had been comforting each other, and were becoming close, as friends and lovers. James was helping Virginia with her future. He had coaxed out of her that she wanted to do something with the Internet, and put her on a course to learn more about it. They had both been working out her next move. She was drawing up a business plan and had ideas that she hoped would become reality. She was going to work with Clara; she was also going to work with James. Even Ella had been roped in to help set things up.
She had sent a change-of-address card to her parents. At first, she wrote a letter, pouring out exactly how she felt about them. It was filled with accusations, all the things she’d told Clara, Ella and James. Then she ripped it up. She knew they wouldn’t suddenly change and apologise. She knew they wouldn’t understand. So she sent the card with her new address and nothing else. They knew where she was if they wanted to write to her but she didn’t need them anymore. She had also started e-mailing Susie again. Their relationship had changed beyond belief and it comforted Virginia to see how it was she who was different, not Susie. She wasn’t going to let Susie go, though: she had been her only friend for so long that the friendship would endure.
Virginia and Ella approached a building that looked more like a palace than a rehab centre. It was called Manor Park, which made Ella laugh.
“I feel like I’m in a Jane Austen novel,” she joked. They parked and walked to the entrance, feeling a little nervous of what lay ahead. The inside didn’t reflect the glory of the outside as they made their way to Reception. It was cold, grey and more than a little scary. Virginia thought it was just how she imagined prison to be. She glanced at Ella, who squeezed her hand. They had to be strong for Clara. They were led to a visitors’ room, where an ageing sofa and a chair were the only furnishings.
They sat waiting for what seemed like for ever, when the door opened and in walked Clara.
Ella hoped that her sharp intake of breath hadn’t been noticed. Clara stood before them in a baggy navy blue jogging suit, her hair scraped back from her face, which was devoid of makeup. She looked unwell, her skin was grey and she had lost weight. When she saw them she burst into tears.
They hugged, kissed and hugged some more. Then they sat down.
“Are you all right?” Virginia asked, feeling horribly inadequate.
“
My name is Clara and I’m a drug addict.” Clara smiled at her feeble joke.
“
Shit, is that all? God, we thought it was something serious.” Ella giggled.
“
Apparently I’m not addicted to sex at all; it was just the coke. After all, I’ve managed to resist the advances of all the sex addicts in here so I’m OK on that front. Mind you, the way I look doesn’t get me the admiring glances I’m used to.”
“
What about shopping?” Virginia asked.
“
Well, I can’t test that out in here either. There’s nothing to buy. But I think an addiction to shopping might be OK.”
“
Alcohol?” Ella asked.
“
I know I drank too much, but I was never an alcoholic. In here, they encourage you to give up everything, but I know that the cocaine and the alcohol weren’t linked. I’m not giving up drink – I only drank too much with the cocaine. I can’t imagine never having champagne again, or wine, or vodka. But if I ever start drinking in the morning, I’ll be back here. Do you think I’m right? Do you think I can still drink?”
“
Clara, I think that as long as you don’t replace cocaine with drink you’ll be OK,” Ella said.
“
It’s been awful, really awful. I’ve had withdrawal, which I don’t even want to tell you about, and counselling, and I seem to be really good at crying in front of strangers. And I’ve learnt all about my problems – which, of course, in true Freudian style all stem from my parents. I told my father he was responsible because he’s always made me feel inadequate and he said, “I didn’t send you to finishing-school so you’d end up in rehab, I sent you to finishing-school to learn to cook.” Which just about sums it up. Mummy’s terribly pleased I’m in here. Apparently it gives her more in common with all her friends whose daughters have already gone through rehab. I’m a late starter. But at least James is helping me to cope with everything. Speaking of which?” She smiled at Virginia, who blushed.
“
He’s lovely,” she mumbled.
“
Christ, I wouldn’t have chosen you for my sister-in-law, but, then, I wouldn’t have chosen you two as my friends.”
“
Having me as your sister-in-law can’t be that bad,” Virginia said, and they all laughed.
“
Please tell me you’re not marrying my brother.” Clara grinned.
“
No, but, well, I really like him.”
“
Then you have my blessing.”
“
Ella’s going to college,” Virginia said, to change the subject.
“
That’s fantastic. What about Liam?”
“
We’re getting along. Shit, this sounds like The fucking Waltons. I like Liam and we have a dynamite sex life. I’d almost forgotten what sex could be like. And Sam and I are still talking every day. I’m going up there soon for his wedding, so everything’s great. For once. And I owe it all to you.” Ella’s eyes misted.
“
That’s a bit over the top, Ella. You saved my life.”
“
And you gave me one,” Virginia said.
“
Bloody hell, now we really do sound like a soap opera,” Ella said, in mock-exasperation.
“
A crap one at that. Who’d have thought we’d be friends? I couldn’t stand either of you.” Clara laughed.
“
Believe me, the feeling was shared by all. You were such a bitch and Virginia was so prim, but I guess it was inevitable we’d become friends.”
“
Why?” Virginia asked.
“
Because we all hated ourselves,” Ella replied.
“
By the way, Josh has been here,” Clara said.
“
Really?” Ella asked.
“
Yes, and he said he still fancied me even in this get up. I told him I needed time but when I get out maybe we could meet up. He told me he’d wait, and he even told me he loved me.”
“Thank
God you’ve seen sense,” Virginia said.
“
What do you mean?” Clara asked.
“
He’s one of the sexiest guys in the world. And he’s lovely, kind, sweet and funny. In fact, he’s just about perfect,” Ella finished.
“
I know. I’m such a stupid cow. It’s not him telling me he loves me that’s the problem, it’s me believing it. Until I can value myself no one else can be in my life. You see, I need to stop feeling so inferior and undeserving before I’m ready for him to love me. That’s a direct quote from therapy.”
“
When will they let you out?” Virginia asked.
“Two
weeks. I’m counting the hours.”
“
No more cocaine?” Ella asked.
“
Never. I nearly let it kill me and I won’t do that again.”
The walls of the room were bare, the friendship unlikely, the sight a strange one.
“What are you going to do?” Clara asked Virginia.
“
I’m glad you asked. I’m going to start my own business. Well, with a partner. It’s an Internet company. While you’ve been in here I’ve been doing my homework. I did a course and James is going to help me find financing. I’ve almost got it all sorted.”
“
What?” Clara asked.
“
It’s a sort of information site. People subscribe for information. People pay to advertise. I’ll give you a business plan as soon as I’ve finished it. I’m really quite excited. James thinks we can make a lot of money although it’ll be hard work.”
“
Who’s your partner?” Clara asked.
“
You.”
“
Me/ But I’m rubbish at stuff like that. I don’t even know how to use the Internet properly.”
“
No, you’re not. At SFH your clients loved you. You’ll have your new ones, eating out of your hand, and with my business acumen, or organising skills, we’ll make a winning team.”
“
I guess I can invest money in it,” Clara offered unsurely.
“
It’s not your money I want. It’s your people skill and your PR skill. We’re going to do this on our own, and if we fail we fail, but if we succeed we’ll have done it ourselves.”
After a brief pause, Ella asked,
“Are you sure you’re allowed to drink?”
“
Bloody hell, yes. I told you, I might have drunk too much but I know I wasn’t an alcoholic.”
“
But you drank a huge amount,” Virginia pointed out.
“
Well maybe, but we did a lot of moping and a lot of celebrating.”
“
Well, if we get caught, I’ll be shot, but look what I brought.” Ella pulled a flask out of her bag.
“
Tea?” Clara asked.
“
Champagne,” Ella announced triumphantly.
“
Oh, Ella, imagine putting champagne in a flask!”
“
It’s the only way I thought I’d be able to smuggle it in.”
“
Ella! You can’t bring that in here!” Virginia reproved her.
“
You’re still the same Miss Tight-knickers.” Clara said.
“
Actually, my knickers are a bit looser, these days. If we get caught, we’ll
all
be shot. Fancy bringing alcohol into a rehab place.”
“
Ella, I love you,” Clara said, as Ella opened the flask.
“
It might be a bit flat,” she apologised.
“
Who cares?”
Ella pulled out three paper cups and handed them to Virginia. When each of them had a cup of champagne in her hand, Ella raised hers.
“I propose a toast. To us for getting the bad guys and living to tell the tale. To Clara for beating her addiction. To Virginia for losing her virginity, and to me for finally being able to put away the pinstripes.”
‘
To the pinstripes,” they said, as they drank the champagne.
“
No. To life after pinstripes,” Virginia said, and they all drank to that.