Pioneer Love: Damaged Hearts Head West: Mail Order Bride 5 Bundle (11 page)

Chapter 8

They spent the next two days in each other's company and Ryan found himself being drawn to Jolene as he got to know her. She was a spirited thing, and never backed down from an argument. She was funny and always had a witty comeback. She lit the room up just by being in it and looking at her you couldn't tell that she had ever been through a bad day in her life. She strived to make everyone happy and Ryan couldn't seem to stay away from her or resist her charms, even though he was sure she had no idea she was even using any charms. She was just herself and that was enough. Yet sometimes he saw the sadness overwhelm her and it broke his heart. He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her she was safe. Yet all he could do was watch her suffer and hope she stayed here and stayed safe.

He knew she prayed, had heard her one night when he passed by her room. It gave him strength and he found the courage to talk to God himself. It had been a long while since he had done that and it gave him great comfort. All he asked was that Jolene finds happiness and that she be kept safe.

The next evening, the happy couple returned just before dinner. The meal was going well. Anna and Ian glowed with joy and Jolene seemed more confident than the false bravado she displayed when she arrived.

Anna turned to Jolene and asked her the question that Ryan had been dreading.

"Jo, when do you leave for home?” Anna said her smile sincere. “Your wedding is in a few weeks and I'm sure you must have so much left to do."

Jolene stopped mid-bite and fear flashed in her eyes. Ryan was watching her intently and noticed the panicked look immediately return. He turned to Anna to distract her. "Anna have you heard from your father yet? He said he would write to me about those sheep, but I haven't heard from him yet."

Anna turned to him with a confused look on her face; maybe she had spotted Jolene’s fear,

"No, I haven't yet,” Anna said, “but I'll be sure to remind him to write to you in my next letter." She turned back to Jolene and asked again, "So, Jo, when is the big wedding day? I am so excited tell me what date have you selected?"

Jolene raised her head, she had known this was coming but still it hit her hard. Instead of looking at Anna, she looked at Ryan. He gave her a small nod and a comforting look. Knowing that he was there and that he would support her in any way possible, she turned to her best friend and took a deep breath. This had to happen and it was best she do it now. "I broke off the engagement," she said as calmly as she could.

Anna just stared at her as if she had said that the world was ending, which now that she thought of it, wasn't such a bad idea.  Anna opened and closed her mouth as if she could not quite understand the meaning of those words. "Broke off the engagement?” she said. “But why?"

Ryan watched as Jolene steeled herself before replying. He could not believe the courage of this woman.

"We had irreconcilable differences," Jolene said.

"What does that even mean?" Anna snapped.

"It means that we had a falling out and I don't want to talk about it."

"But I'm your best friend. We share everything. What could it possibly be that you can't tell me?" Anna said loudly, anger pouring into her voice.

Ian put a hand on her shoulder. "Honey, maybe she just doesn't want to talk about it in front of us,” he said softly. “This is something you two should talk about in private."

Anna shrugged off his hand, ignoring reason, hurt by the fact that her best friend had kept something of this magnitude from her and that she wasn't even going to give her a reason why. She could see in Jolene's eyes that she had made up her mind and that she wouldn't be telling her anything soon.

Livid with anger, she stood and pointed a finger at her best friend. "I thought I was your best friend,” she said, “but I guess not. Since you don't even think it's worth telling me that you broke off your engagement, much less why." And overcome with emotion, Anna limped out of the room.

The silence was deafening, until Ian pushed back his chair. "I'm sorry for her behavior,” he said. “She's just a little emotional at the moment. She'll calm down soon.” He stood wavering on the spot. “I best go talk to her." And he left the room as well, leaving Ryan and Jolene alone.

Jolene put her head in her hands and began shaking. Ryan knew she was crying and so he got up and went to her. Hesitantly, he put a hand on her shoulder and even though she jumped slightly, she didn't shrug it off. Feeling hopeful he squeezed her shoulder. "Don't worry about Anna,” he said. “She'll come around. She was just caught off guard by all this, is all. You shouldn't worry."

Jolene lifted her head and looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I couldn't tell her Ryan, I just couldn't. She will hate me for not telling her about the engagement being called off, but I just can't face her and tell her about what happened. I'm a coward, but I just can't." She began to cry again, burying her face in her hands.

Ryan patted her back, soothingly, trying to give her comfort however he could. "I understand, Jo, I do and eventually Anna will get over it, too. She just needs time to process that you might have a life outside of her now. She will be fine with it; you know she's not one to hold a grudge."

Sniffling, Jolene looked back up at him with a watery smile. "You think so?” she asked. “We'll be fine?"

"Absolutely. Now enough crying." He gently lifted two fingers and wiped the tears from under her eyes. Jolene blushed at this gesture of comfort and concern and Ryan went a little red in the neck as well. He got up from in front of her and went back to his food and they sat eating their food in companionable silence.

Chapter 9

Over the next week, Jolene and Anna walked around each other like two barnyard cats. They flashed eyes, spoke in short, sharp, busts, and Ryan felt as if they would fly at each other at a moment’s notice. It made him sad because he knew both were hurting. If Anna understood what the problem was she would help Jolene, but Jo could not let her in.

Jolene felt guilty for not telling her best friend what had happened to her, but she just couldn't bear the thought of Anna’s pity. Every day she tried to shrug off the whole thing. Tried to pull Anna into a conversation or get her to do something with her but Anna was extremely hurt by her secretiveness and wasn't ready to go back to how things were.

As a result, Jolene began to spend a lot more time with Ryan. She found him kind, understanding, and most of all safe. He listened when she ranted about Anna and always had supporting words to say and hopes to bestow. In desperation one day Jolene suggested that maybe she should just go back home. It caused fear to churn in her stomach but the last thing she wanted was to upset Anna.

Ryan was angry. “You will not go home,” he said. “It is out of the question, until something is sorted about that beast of a man.”

Jolene felt so warmed by his support. She knew he would not let her go back to that monster of a man. Feeling much happier she agreed to stay, for despite the difficulty with Anna this was the best place she could be.

Jolene was growing closer to Ryan and was spending most of her time with him. This did not go unnoticed by the other members of the household.

Anna saw Jolene and Ryan whispering together and spending so much time in each other’s company. She was jealous that her friend was now spending more time with her brother-in-law than she did with her. But more than that, she felt that Jonathan was being cheated.

She truly believed that Jolene and Jonathan were meant to be with one another and that some silly misunderstanding or nerves had made her friend run off. She didn't want her friend to make a mistake by giving up the love of her life and she knew sooner or later the two would work it out. She also didn't want Ryan to get his hopes up. It was obvious to her that he was falling for Jolene’s charms. Well, what man wouldn’t? She could see the way he looked at her, the way he cared for her and smiled at everything she did or said.

One afternoon, a couple of weeks after her fight with Jolene, Anna cornered Ryan and took him to his study to talk. "Ryan, I love you like I would my own brother and that is why I am saying this,” Anna said. “Don't get attached to Jolene."

Ryan looked at her in surprise. "Why ever not?” he said. “She is not engaged and quite frankly whether we do or not is not of your concern."

Anna sighed with frustration. "You do not know her like I do,” she said. “Sooner or later she will get back together with Jonathan. You didn't see the two of them together, Ryan. They have always been inseparable and whatever this misunderstanding is between them, it will get cleared up. Then you will be here, left alone, broken-hearted. I don't want it to come to that, for you are like my brother."

Ryan looked away. "It is too late to preach now, dear sister,” He said softly. “I have already fallen in love with her. I don't know if she will ever want me but I love her with all my life and all my heart. I will protect her and be there for her, no matter what form she accepts me in, even if it is just as a friend."

Anna looked at her brother-in-law sadly and finally let out a deep breath of regret. "I'm sorry, Ryan. I should've warned you sooner. I just thought that with her being engaged, it wouldn't be a problem. I hope you don't get too hurt when she is back with Jonathan.” Anna turned to leave, but looked back over her shoulder. How much hurt had she brought into this good man’s life. “I am always here if you need to talk," she said before reaching forward and squeezing his hand. Then she turned and slipping out of the door.

As much as it pained Ryan he ground his teeth together and remained quiet. It was not right but it was best to let Anna feel sorry for him. It was the first time he had admitted that he loved Jolene and now the words wer out he knew they were true. He would always love her and protect her and if all he could ever be was a friend… Then so be it. Jo would take time to heal, he knew that but maybe one day he would have a hope. But even if he never had hope he would keep her safe. Would give her time to get over what she had been through. Maybe one day he would tell her he loved her but it would not be soon.

Anna squeezed his hand in a gesture of comfort and left the room. He left behind her and was surprised to see Jolene standing outside the door. He jumped and looked at her guiltily, wondering if she had heard anything and what her reaction would be. Thankfully, she smiled at him.

"I was just coming to ask you if you wanted to go for a ride again,” she asked looking wistfully down the hallway at Anna’s retreating back as she limped away. “The weather is lovely this afternoon and I do so want to go for a ride."

Ryan scrutinized her expression to get an inkling if she had heard or not but after a thorough examination, he concluded that she had not and so, smiling at her, he agreed. "I'd love to. Will Anna be joining us," he gestured towards Anna, who was just turning the corner, leaving.

Jolene looked sad. "Anna didn't reply or accept my offer. She's still mad at me."

Ryan put a hand, soothingly, on her shoulder and looked deep into her eyes. "She will get over this,” he said. “And soon you both won't even remember what it was you were fighting about… But maybe it would come quicker if you confided in her. Or at least told her some of the reason why you broke up with Jonathan.” Even saying that man’s name made Ryan wince and he watched Jolene flinch. But she soon put a smile back on her face.

“Maybe one day,” she said but not today. Can we please go for a ride?”

Ryan nodded and turned away. Looking back over his shoulder he called. “Come along now, I believe I have a race to win."

It brought a smile to her face and joy to his heart. After all he had a surprise for her in the stables.

Anna rushed towards Lighter’s stall and stopped suddenly. “Where is Lighter?” she asked.

Ryan tried to stop the grin form breaking out across his face. “He is further down there look,” he said pointing. “This is Summer; she is yours if you will have her.” He waited his breath held as Jolene looked into the stable.

Her eyes widened in wonder as she looked at the beautiful appaloosa. Her white coat shone and across her rump was a number of palm sized brown spots. Her head was fine, her eyes kind and Ryan knew she was fast.

“I love her,” Jolene said and she turned and placed a kiss on his cheek.

Ryan felt as if his heart had stopped. Had she said she loved him? Then his brain reengaged and he knew she meant the horse. At least he had made her smile and this one he knew was genuine. Not the half, false smiles she had been wearing for a lot of this visit.