Playing Dirty: Windy City Kink, Book 3 (29 page)

She rushed over to the dresser to grab her purse but when she caught sight of herself in the mirror, she froze. Holy shitballs. She looked like a wild woman, her hair sticking up in spikes all over her head, no makeup, eyes red-rimmed and puffy, nose pink. Not only that, she was still wearing the T-shirt she’d slept in last night.

She could not go see Raff like this. On the other hand, she didn’t want to waste time on something as trivial as makeup. Seriously though, she would scare people on the street if she went out like this.

She washed her face with cold water, slapped on a little concealer and some mascara, and brushed her hair. She found clean underwear, grabbed a pair of jeans she’d left draped over the arm of the chair in the corner, pulled a hoodie out of her closet and shoved her arms and head through it. Okay.

She hesitated at the door of her room and pressed a hand to her stomach. Was she nuts?

She had to do this.

Kevin’s door was still closed. No doubt he was still asleep. Was Emma in there with him?

Paige saw Emma’s shoes and coat downstairs in the foyer. Yep. She was there. And Paige was happy for them.

As she walked down the sidewalk toward Milwaukee to catch a bus, she thought about how she would react to seeing Raff in a dress. Christ on a pogo stick. She couldn’t even get her mind to picture that. She smiled sadly, though. Because if she could be with him for the rest of her life, if he wanted to wear a dress every once in a while, she’d deal with it.

Forty minutes later she was in the lobby of the Challenger Building. She bit her lip. Every other time she’d come here she’d been with Raff. She approached the security desk, her belly fluttering.

“Hi,” she said, “I’m here to see Raff Lauden.”

The white-haired man behind the desk gave her an impassive look. “Name?”

“Paige Nelson.”

He picked up a phone and made a call. The flutters turned into churning. She gripped the marble edge of the counter with sweaty palms. Would he let her come up? Was he even home?

Yes, he was home. The security guard was speaking to him. “Okay, Mr. Lauden. Thanks.”

He hung up and looked at her. “Take car number one to the penthouse.”

The elevator doors slid open as she approached and she stepped inside. Her legs had gone shaky and she pushed the penthouse button with a trembling forefinger.

The ascent was smooth and fast, and when the doors opened and she saw the door to Raff’s condo, she actually stretched a hand out to hit the Close button. Then she squeezed her eyes shut.

She nearly waited too long. The doors started to slide shut. Damn! She forced her body to move, slipping between the doors, one of them brushing her shoulder as she barely made it through. She sucked in a long breath as she took the few steps to the door.

The door opened. Raff stood there. He stared at her and the look in his eyes—flinty and cold—and the set of his mouth into severe lines made her go motionless and icy.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Raff looked at Paige. Christ, she was shaking like a poplar leaf in a gale. Her eyes were darting all over the place and she had one hand clasped around the opposite wrist, the one she wore the elastic band on, her thumb rubbing there, her entire body visibly trembling.

He frowned at her distress. What the fuck?

“What’s wrong?” he demanded, reaching out a hand to grab her and yank her inside. Her eyes widened and she tripped a little. He held on to her and closed the door.

His first thought was that Delmer Douchebag had resurfaced and scared the crap out of her. If he had to go back and talk to that asshole again, he’d fucking kill him.

“Um…” she vibrated in his hand, “…I-I need to talk to you.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “Did something happen?”

“Y-yes.”

“Fuck!” The word came out as a shout, and Paige flinched. “Shh. Sorry. What happened?”

“Dutch called me.”

Raff reared back. “What? Dutch?”

“He called me this morning. He heard that I went to the Venture Rec Center the other day.”

Raff had to give his head a shake. “You
what
? Why?”

She shrugged. “I was going to talk to Dutch, actually. About you.”

“Great,” he muttered. He let her go and shoved a hand through his hair, holding the back of his head momentarily. “Come in. Have a seat. Don’t know what the fuck’s going on. Dutch?”

“Yeah.” She followed him into his living room.

“Give me your jacket.”

She pushed off the puffy down jacket she wore. He hung it in the closet and they both sat on the couch. She set her purse on the floor at her feet. She looked adorable in a thick hoodie and faded jeans.

“Delmer signed the divorce papers.” She met his eyes, fingers again twisted together on her lap. “I want to thank you.”

He said nothing, just inclined his head.

“And I want to apologize.”

“For what?” He kept his emotions under control, not wanting to think or hope or feel anything.

“For so much, Raff.” She sighed. “I talked to Dutch and he made me think about things. I really messed things up. Also, Sasha said some things to me that made me think. I’m so sorry.” She sank her teeth into her plump bottom lip. “I don’t even know where to start. I’m sorry for thinking you were anything like Del.” She met his eyes. “I know you’re not. Not at all.”

His gut tightened. “You know what I did.”

She nodded slowly. “I’m not going to say I approve, but…thank you. I’m free of Del, or I will be soon, legally anyway. I assume this means he’s finally given up and won’t…bother me anymore.”

“When you showed up here looking like that, my first thought was that he did come back.”

“Oh! No.
No
.”

“Because if he ever comes near you again, next time I won’t be satisfied with threatening him about his career or messing up his face.” He leaned closer. “If that scares you—too bad. You think I’m violent. You’re right. I am. Because I’d do anything to protect you, Paige. Anything.”

“But you’d never hurt
me
.” Her gaze held his. “I know that, Raff.”

His insides twisted up and the drumbeat of his heart deepened to a hard throb. “Yeah?”

She nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate the things you’ve done for me. I was so focused on being independent, so focused on keeping a wall up between us so I wouldn’t get hurt, I couldn’t accept what you were doing. I kept telling myself you wanted something in return. I realize now…you didn’t.”

“Sure I did.”

Her eyes widened.

He lifted his chin. “I wanted you, Paige. All of you. I wanted your pretty body in my bed, mine to do what I wanted with, to give you pleasure…or whatever you needed. But I wanted more than that. I wanted your quick mind. I wanted your heart. I wanted…” He halted.

“What, Raff?” She leaned forward, eyes focused on him as if his answer were going to solve the problems of chemical weapons in Syria, fix world hunger and provide the location of the Ark of the Covenant.

“I wanted your trust,” he said gruffly.

She nodded, almost as if she’d known he was going to say that. “Yes,” she whispered, “I know that now. I’m sorry I couldn’t give it to you before. Here’s the truth. I do trust you. With my body. With my mind. And…” she sucked in a breath, “…with my heart. I kept putting walls up because I was afraid. I’m still afraid.” She lifted one shoulder.

“But you need to know that I trust you, Raff. You risked so much for me, to take care of my problem. I can’t even bear to think what would happen if the police… Well…” she swallowed, “…I want you to know I do appreciate it. You have no idea what a relief it is to know that Del won’t bother me again. I just feel like…” Her voice faded.

“What?” His own voice came out in a dry rasp.

“I don’t think I’m worth that kind of risk. There is
nothing
I can give you in return.”

Raff’s jaw tightened. Jesus. “Would you quit saying that.”

“I know, I know. But I wish I could…balance things out. You’re rich and powerful. You’ve done so much for me. I have nothing.”

“Fuck, Paige.” His chest squeezed. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true.”

“It’s not true.” Christ, his head was starting to whirl at the things she was saying, a faint kernel of hope expanding in his chest. Was it possible…? “Why’d you come here?”

“I told you. To apologize.” She moved as if to stand, apparently thinking they were done.

He grabbed her hand and stopped her from getting up. He kept hold of her hand, tugging her closer. He wanted her in his arms. He wanted to hold on to her and never let her go. She gave him a wide-eyed look.

“Why else?” he demanded in a low, rough tone.

A long moment passed before she answered, a moment during which they searched each other’s faces, a moment during which he sensed her gathering courage, and hope expanded a little more inside him.

Finally she said, “I love you, Raff. I understand if I messed things up too much for us to go back. But I wanted you to know how I feel. And that I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

He closed his eyes. That seed of hope swelled and burst inside him, something painful and hot breaking loose. She loved him. She loved him.
She fucking loved him!

His skin tingled everywhere, feeling tight and hot. He was hyperaware of the movement of his chest as he breathed in and out, hyperaware of the smooth softness of Paige’s hand in his, the delicacy of the bones a reminder of his strength and her fragility.

And yet, at that moment, he was the one who felt fragile and vulnerable, her strength as she confessed her feelings and made her apologies humbling him and making him want to go to his knees in front of her.

The air around them pulsed with emotion, the only sounds he could hear—the beat of his own heart and the scrape of his breath in and out. His eyes burned.

He closed his eyes and lifted her hand to press it against his cheek. “Paige,” he rasped. “Christ, Paige. I love you too.”

He heard her indrawn breath, felt the tremor of the hand he held. He lifted his head and opened his eyes to meet hers. She stared at him, her lips parted, eyes shiny.

He leaned in and set his mouth against hers in a tender, gentle kiss. Hot sensation expanded in his chest. He rose and gave a gentle tug on her hand to pull her with him without breaking eye contact. He led her to his bedroom, turned them both and backed onto the bed, sitting cross-legged, bringing her onto his lap, straddling his hips. He set his hands on her waist and they still looked into each other’s eyes.

Then he slid a hand around the back of her neck and brought her mouth to his for a kiss. He poured it all into that kiss, everything he felt, all his love and gratitude and admiration for her. Her hands moved over his chest, his shoulders, the back of his neck as their mouths joined in a long, slow, clinging kiss of worship.

His hand caressed her neck, his thumb sliding up in front of her ear, almost to the corner of her mouth, and she turned her head to nip at the pad of his thumb. He smiled and directed her mouth back to his again, sliding his tongue inside to find hers, so sweet. Then he slid both hands into her hair to hold her head as they devoured each other.

Sensation burned and twisted through him, his heartbeat deepening to a fast thud against his sternum. His hands moved over her body, everywhere he could reach, her back, her waist, her breasts. He slid his hands up under the sweatshirt and found she wore no bra, her bare breasts swelling into his palms, her little nipples sharp. Fuck, he loved that. Loved her.

Her breathing hitched against his mouth, her nipples puckering even tighter. He gently squeezed then pinched her nipples. She moaned into his mouth.

He shoved the sweatshirt up higher and she lifted her arms so he could push it all the way off, leaving her on his lap topless. Beautiful. So perfect. He eased her back so he could bend and kiss her breasts. He closed his lips over one tender tip and sucked.

She clutched his shoulders and gasped. “Raff,” she breathed. “Oh my God.”

“Sweet,” he mumbled against her soft flesh. Then he lifted his head and met her eyes again. They shared a long, wordless look of love, honor and respect.

His hands slid to her neck and shoulders again, then he tipped her until her back met the mattress, and moved over her. She pushed her elbows into the mattress, head lifted as he nuzzled her throat, her breasts again, suckled on her nipples, loving how they fit on his tongue, loving the taste of her, loving the small pleasure noises she made.

He shifted to her side, licking her breasts, letting his tongue caress the soft curves, and slid a hand down to her pussy. He rubbed her over her jeans, but that wasn’t good for long. So once again he moved back between her thighs to unbutton, unzip and slowly ease her jeans down over hips and thighs, leaving her in tiny bikini panties.

“You’re so beautiful, Paige,” he murmured, studying her flat stomach, slender hips and smooth thighs.

“So are you.” She reached for him and touched his chest.

He got rid of the panties too, then once again moved beside her so he could kiss her mouth as his hand fondled her pussy. He rubbed his fingers up and down over her soft flesh then slid them deeper into her folds, finding heat and wetness. Fucking fantastic.

He slid one arm beneath her then pulled his hand from her pussy to rub her own arousal over her lips. Eyes still fastened on each other, she opened her mouth and he slipped his fingers inside. She sucked her essence off him, her eyes falling closed. Damn that was hot. She was amazing.

He shifted to once again lick and suck her breasts. Electricity sizzled over his nerve endings, tension growing in his spine. His balls ached and sensation wrapped around his cock, making him crazy for her.

He caressed her stomach, her hip, back between her legs, then moved lower to lick her belly button with its sexy jewelry. He pushed her thighs apart and moved between them, licking her thighs and over her pussy in long, slow drags of his tongue.

“Oh my God, Raff.” Paige went flat on the bed, arms giving out. “Oh my God.”

“Yeah. Yeah.”

He licked her hipbone, found her knee with one hand and pushed it up and back. He slid his other arm beneath her hip to hug her other thigh. He licked all over her pussy, shallow surface strokes of his tongue that made her quiver and shake. Then he let his tongue probe deeper, find her clit, and her hips jerked and lifted against him.

“Yeah, sweetheart.” He used one thumb to open her a little more to his tongue. “So sweet.”

Her hands clutched the duvet cover they were still atop. And he was still fully dressed. That needed to be fixed.

He reached for the hem of his sweater and yanked it off, then rolled onto his back on the big bed to undo his jeans and kick them off too. Naked, he moved back between her thighs, now on his knees, pushing her legs wider for him. He grasped his stiff dick and slicked it up and down through her slit, letting it rub over her clit. His balls tightened even more at the root of his cock, hot pleasure licking over him like flames.

She sucked in a sharp breath and opened her eyes, looking at him. He met her gaze steadily as he continued to stroke her. Her belly contracted and hollowed. She was so close.

“Baby,” he whispered, “you are so fucking hot.”

Her lips curved into a slow, sexy smile, her eyes hazed with lust and love. “So are you.” She reached for him again, fingertips grazing over his chest and abs, all the way to his pubic hair and the base of his cock. His muscles twitched beneath his skin, which was hot and tight.

He found her entrance and pushed inside, all the while holding her gaze. They stared into each other’s eyes in an intimate connection he’d never experienced with anyone else. This was…more. This was…everything.

Her body closed around him, scalding hot and tight, so tight. No condom.
Fuck. Fuck.
He gritted his teeth and halted. He winced. “Paige…babe…are you protected?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “I’m on birth control. I’m safe and clean. And I trust you.”

Fuck yeah.
Fuck
yeah. “You
can
trust me,” he rasped. “I swear to God you can trust me. Never hurt you.
Never
…” He thrust deeper in, not sure if he could have actually stopped if he’d wanted to.

“I know.” Her hand closed over his thigh and squeezed. “I know.”

She lifted her head to watch them join, and he fucking loved that. He moved deeper inside her body. He reached for one of her hands, laced their fingers together and began to fuck her. He lifted her other leg higher.

Their eyes joined, he fucked her hard, deep, linking them in unbearable intimacy. She curled her fingers around his and held on as the bed bounced with every thrust, her lips parted, eyes heavy lidded.

Beauty. So much beauty. Her face, her body, her love—everything that surrounded them. It was all he’d ever wanted in his life—sweet, pure beauty—something he’d never had.

It was his now. She was his. He’d spend the rest of his life trying to be the man she deserved.

Her eyes widened as her orgasm built then closed as it crashed over her, her body tightening, her pussy rippling around him, squeezing him. And that was enough for him, he couldn’t stop the force of it as his own release detonated, and he fell over her, burying his face in her neck as wave after wave of hot pleasure rolled over him, pulsing inside. His entire body seized with unbearable, beautiful bliss.