Playing Pretend (27 page)

“Someone left this for you,” he said.

That was odd.

I took it from him, and stepped away from the party to open it. Inside I found photographs, with a sticky note attached that read,
You’re not the only one pretending. Jennifer xo

What the hell?

When I looked at the photographs, I realized they were taken the night Caleb made dinner. From the looks of it they were taken from a high vantage point, with a good enough camera to get clear shots of us eating, laughing, and then dancing on the terrace. I hadn’t seen these online, so how did Jennifer get them?

“Kadence.”

I spun around. Caleb was standing behind me. He looked like he’d stepped straight out of a Bond movie, with his black tux, bowtie, and slick hairstyle.

“You’re here,” I breathed. I stuck the photographs back into the envelope and had Alfie take them to the car. As much as I wanted to know more about them my attention was needed elsewhere. “It’s almost time for your speech.”

I moved to walk past him, but he grabbed my hand, and pulled me aside.

“We need to talk.”

And just like that, my blood froze in my veins.

“I don’t think this is the time or the place,” I told him between gritted teeth. If he expected me to act as if this afternoon had never happened, he was going to be disappointed.

“You should have waited for me.” Caleb spoke softly, and I couldn’t help but notice how condescending he was.

“You were busy.” I removed his hand from mine, and took a step back. “And I wasn’t going to stick around for whatever was going on between you and Natalia.” I straightened my shoulders. “I have to go check on the band.”

This time when I walked away, Caleb didn’t stop me.

Smart man.

He was finally catching on.

What I had to do next was one of the easiest decisions I’d ever made. I walked over to where Aaliyah was talking to Landon.

“I need your help, Liy.”

I INTRODUCED MYSELF
to the band, and waited for them to take the stage before sneaking out the back. I booked a flight to Charlotte and let my Mother know that I would be arriving just after 2 a.m. the following morning. It wasn’t ideal, but my Mother told me she’d be there when I landed, regardless of the time. It was the only flight I could find that would get me out of the city the same night.

Aaliyah took over the remainder of my responsibilities for the party, which wasn’t much after the band had performed. All she had left was networking with the guests, specifically the investors who were going help Caleb bring his record label to life. It was bad form to leave during an event, and Caleb was probably going to be angry as soon as he realized I’d left, but I needed to go. Even if it was just for a few days, long enough to catch a breath and re-evaluate my living arrangement with Caleb. Having Natalia back in the picture changed things, drastically, and if I weren’t sure about going to North Carolina before, I was now. There was no way I could stick around and watch Caleb reconcile with his ex.

Alfie stopped outside the Puck building, and I took the elevator up to the penthouse. I didn’t have much time, so I slipped my shoes off, and headed straight for my bedroom. I grabbed an overnight bag, and had just started throwing some clothes in when I felt someone watching me. I looked over my shoulder.

Natalia was leaning against my doorjamb, wearing one of Caleb’s shirts and nothing else. Her face was scrubbed free of make-up, and her hair was damp. She looked pleased with herself while I struggled not to show how unsettled her appearance left me. It wasn’t difficult to figure out why she looked that way and while I wanted to be angry, I felt too defeated. Her situation with Caleb was none of my business, and whatever he’d discussed with her was between them. She was Braelynn’s mother, and I knew Caleb would always put her first. Having her mother in her life was important, and I knew I would never take that spot. I was just the replacement, and that was my own doing. I volunteered to help Caleb, and went as far as to ignore the gut instinct that had been warning me all week. It wasn’t meant to be permanent.

Seeing Natalia made that sink in.

“Leaving so soon?” asked Natalia. Her sarcasm, as well as her satisfaction, were both so pungent, like a bad smell that clung to one’s skin. She was goading me, tempting me to respond, but I had nothing to say to her. I continued packing, haphazardly grabbing all my essentials. Whatever I forgot, I could buy when I got to Matthews.

“I take it Caleb finally told you to leave,” Natalia continued. “I knew he would. He told me he’s been looking for a way to get rid of you, and that he wants me here with him and our daughter.”

I shut my eyes.

Just breathe, Kadence. Close your bag, and walk out.

I walked out of the bedroom, and Natalia followed me out into the Atrium.

“You were just a place-filler, you know. Caleb told me he’s been waiting for me to come back to him, and that you were just here because he took pity on you. I know you were sleeping with him, and I can’t really blame you because he’s a total catch, but your services are no longer required. I’ll have Alfie pack up the rest of your stuff.”

Her words burned, and saving face in front of her was proving to be difficult. I stepped into the elevator, and faced her. She was standing there with her arms crossed over her chest – she so needed to wear a fucking bra – and an imperious, twisted smile. Her eyes flared with victory.

I licked my lips, and opened my mouth to speak.

“You don’t deserve him. And you sure as hell don’t deserve that precious little girl.”

Natalia smirked. “It doesn’t matter now, does it. You still lose.”

The doors closed, and I sagged against the wall, fighting the need to cry and hyperventilate and vomit. It was supposed to be one of the best nights of my life, but instead it had turned to a ball of flaming shit and there was little I could do to fix it. Alfie took my bag from me, and frowned when he saw my expression. Luckily, he stayed quiet, and so did I. Caleb called, but I declined it. After the fifth call I put the damn thing on silent, and tucked it away in my purse. A few tears slipped down my cheeks, but I wiped them away knowing I already looked pathetic in my red lace gown, and no shoes. All because I wanted to run. With some effort on my part, I was able to switch off until Alfie got me to the airport. He carried my bag inside, walked me to the check-in area, and then turned to face me.

“I will be here when you get back, Ms. Kavanagh,” he said. His size was enough to garner some attention, but to me he was a giant marshmallow beneath a hard shell. I’d come to think of him as a friend, which was odd considering we’d never had a personal conversation in all the time I’d known him. “And if you need anything while you’re away, please call me.” He handed me a piece of paper with his contact number, even though I already had it on my phone, and walked away without saying another word. The big guy left me speechless, but that small act gave me the resolve necessary to go through with this.

“HERE YOU GO, MISS.” The guy behind the coffee cart handed me a coffee, and my sandwich. I was starving, and struggling to stay awake. It was late. With some time to kill before my flight, I wandered around in an attempt to keep myself from overanalyzing my evening, and the events leading up to it. I was ready for it to be over already.

I found a seat in front of the glass windows and watched the planes take off, imagining where the people were going. It was better than questioning whether or not I was doing the right thing, or if I was just running because I was scared. I realized it was both.

I reached over to discard my empty coffee cup, and when I looked back at the glass, I caught sight of Caleb’s reflection. He was behind me, looking all hot and breathless and shit. My stupid, faulty heart skipped a beat, until I reminded myself that what I had with Caleb had always been temporary. I was foolish to think otherwise, and even more foolish to think this farce was anything more than that.

I stood up, and faced him.

“Aaliyah told you I was here,” I stated. She was the only one who would have.

“Where are you going?” he asked, closing the space between us. We probably looked ridiculous, like we were in a scene from a 60’s movie - him in his classic black tux, and me in my overpriced gown.

I ignored his question. “I spoke to Natalia. She said you’re getting back together.”

I watched a myriad of emotions flash across Caleb’s face, but there was no denial. Not immediately anyway, and in my experience, hesitation was an admission of guilt.

“You didn’t give me a chance to explain, Kadence.”

“You don’t have to. Natalia explained everything to me.”

“What did she tell you?” Caleb’s voice grew louder, angrier, and a few bystanders looked our way.

“She said you asked her to stay.”

“And you believed her?”

“It was difficult not to. You were late to the party and when I saw her at your place she was dressed in your shirt, fresh from a shower.”

“Fuck.” Caleb rubbed his hands down his face in obvious frustration.

“I understand,” I added quietly. I didn’t like it, but I understood.

Caleb shook his head. “No, you don’t. I never asked her to stay, and nothing happened this afternoon. I have to give her a chance because she’s Braelynn’s mother, but the only woman I want at my side is you, Kadence. I thought you were finally starting to see that, that you were finally starting to trust me.”

“It’s difficult to do that when everything we have is built on a charade. I agreed to help you, but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you, and Brae. I never planned on feeling more for you but...” I trailed off, and when Caleb didn’t say anything in response, I could hear my heart hitting the floor, piece-by-piece. I wiped my face, and pulled myself together. I had to do what was best for me, and staying with Caleb when he obviously didn’t feel the same way about me certainly wasn’t it.

“I’m going to spend a few days with my Mom, but when I get back on Tuesday I will get the rest of my things. I think it’s time I got my own place.”

“I don't want you to,” replied Caleb. “I want you with me, and Brae.”

“What, so we can fuck like rabbits every night?” Someone gasped behind me but I didn't care. I was hurt, and in my eyes, all propriety had flown right out the fucking window. “Right now, that’s not enough Caleb. I need to know I’m more to you than just a bed warmer.”

“You are,” he retorted quickly. “I told you I won’t define what we are, and you said that you were okay with that.”

“That was before your ex showed up.”

“Natalia doesn’t have to be a problem.” Caleb held onto my upper arms, only this time his touch burned in a way that made me flinch.

“She’s the mother of your child,” I said. “It would be what’s best for Braelynn, to have her mother close by.”

“But what about what’s best for you and me?”

I exhaled loudly, feeling every ounce of energy leave my body.

“We both know we don’t matter, Caleb. Braelynn comes first, always.”

“I was wrong. I also deserve to be happy with whoever I choose, and I choose you.”

“If only it were that simple.”

They called my flight number, and when I looked back at Caleb he looked slightly panicked.

“I have to go, but I’ll be back on Tuesday. I’d appreciate it if you’d box my stuff up for me and hang onto it until then.”

Caleb took my face in his hands, his eyes pleading. “You can’t go.”

I squeezed my eyes closed and whispered, “I have to.” When I opened my eyes again I could see the storm swirling angrily in the depths of his blue eyes. “I’m glad that Braelynn will have her mother back in her life, but I need time to work through some stuff.” I tilted my head and placed a light kiss on his cheek. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

I SAW MY MOTHER
standing on the sidewalk when I exited the somewhat deserted airport. She smiled, and opened her arms, welcoming me, shielding me, holding me. Her embrace gave me a much needed reprieve, and when I looked up at her, I noticed her eyes had glossed over.