Playing Pretend (33 page)

“I don’t know how!”

Aaliyah doesn’t even flinch.

“Well figure it out! I lost a friend, and you lost…” she trails off, but I know what she was about to say.

“Everything,” I finish for her. “I lost everything.”

“It’s not too late,” she tells me, looking hopeful. “You can still talk to her.”

I shake my head. “It
is
too late. She’s moved on, and I don’t want to hurt her anymore.”

I know I shouldn’t have, but I made sure she got a good job at another P.R firm in the city. I try not to check up on her, knowing it’s just another form of self-torture, but knowing that she’s okay somehow makes me feel better about everything I’ve done.

“Are you stupid?” asks Aaliyah. She’s standing with her hands on her hips, brows raised, and that can only mean she means business.

That’s never good for whoever is on the receiving end.

Namely me.

“This is the part where you run after the girl and tell her you love her, and that you’re nothing without her. And when that doesn’t work, you do the whole big romantic gesture thing until she takes you back.”

“And if that doesn’t work?”

“Then you get down on your knee if you have to! You guys belong together, how much longer are you going to ignore that?”

I wasn’t ignoring it, but even I’m man enough to admit I was afraid of being rejected. I would never find another woman like Kadence, and if I’m honest, I don’t want to.

“How sure are you it will even work? When she came to the office last week to get her last check, she couldn’t get away from me fast enough.”

“It’s going to take some convincing,” Aaliyah concedes. “But since when do you back down from something you want?”

I sigh, turning her words over in my head over and over again. “I don’t, but with Kadence it’s different. I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me.”

“Fair enough, but tell me this: would you rather give her up knowing you tried to win her back, or live the rest of your life wondering how it would have turned out? Rejection is a bitch, but regret is the bitch that never leaves. You’ll have to live with the fact that
you
gave up. Can you do that?”

As much as I want to listen to Aaliyah, I don’t think it would be that simple. This isn’t a movie, and Kadence isn’t some ditz waiting for her Knight in shining armor to show up. I can’t even give her that much because I’m no Knight. I’m just a shithead in tinfoil trying to get his act together.

Amidst all that, I’m also a man in love with a woman.

A woman I’m not sure I want to stop fighting for.

Aaliyah smiles as if she knows what I’m thinking. Chances are she probably does. She’s a little perceptive that way.

“You have an idea don’t you?” She sounds giddy.

“A big romantic gesture,” I reply, feeling the idea take root in my mind. “Let’s just hope it’s enough.”

Caleb

3 Months Later

I ADJUST MY TIE
for the millionth time, and glance around the packed ballroom. It’s filled to the brim with socialites, musicians from my record label, investors, board members and some of the city’s most well-known philanthropists. It’s another big night for Callahan Industries, but an even bigger night for me. I just hope it was worth the three months I spent putting it all together.

I greet people who stop to talk to me, all the while searching for one face in particular. Aaliyah told me Kadence was coming, but I won’t believe it until I see her for myself. She hasn’t spoken to Aaliyah in months, so I had to convince Annabelle to help me. It was quite a feat considering she hates me. I don’t blame her. As Kadence’s best friend, she’s protective, and after much groveling, she finally agreed to get Kadence to the event under any pretense necessary. That came along with a threat that if I fucked up again, Annabelle would have my balls on a plate. I didn’t for one second think she was kidding.

My Father, Lionel, steps up to my side, and claps me on the shoulder. “You ready?”

No
.

“Is it already time?” I ask. I can’t help that my voice hitches a little. I’ve been doing a shit job of hiding my nerves.

My Father chuckles, and I try not to scowl at him. “It’s going to be fine, Son. You’ll see.”

I snort. “Easy for you to say, old man.”

“You’re my kid,” he retorts. “You can’t fuck this up.”

I try not to smile. My Father has become mouthy in his old age. When I told him about this project three months ago, he took one look at me and knew I was going to follow through, and rather than tell me I was fucking nuts, he supported me all the way. In fact, I remember him calling me a ‘fucking moron’ if I
didn’t
follow through. That in itself was surprising, but then he told me to let go of our past, and be with whoever made me happy. It was also my understanding that him and Kadence’s mother, Dalia, were both on my side. The fact that they have become friends again after all these years is proof that history is just that. History. If they can move past it, then so could I.

With a bit of luck, Kadence will feel the same way.

Aaliyah scurries towards me, her tight dress stopping her from moving any faster.

“She’s here,” she breathes, looking almost as frantic as I feel. My head whips up, and without hesitation I start scanning the crowd. My heart leaps into my throat, and I turn back to Aaliyah. “Are you sure?”

With an eye roll, she replies, “Yes! Now get up on that stage, you’re already running behind schedule.”

“Okay,” I exhale. I brush my hands down my suit jacket, and start weaving through the guests until I get to the stage. The Master of Ceremonies – some comedian who really isn’t all that funny – introduces me, and like many times before this, I take the stage with a certain amount of arrogance, and bravado. Only this time it really is for show. Sweat beads my forehead, and my pulse jumps erratically, while my shirt somehow feels like it’s getting smaller and smaller.

“Good evening, ladies and gentleman,” I start, gripping the podium with both hands. “And welcome to what will be the start of one of Callahan Industries’ biggest undertakings.”

Kadence chooses that exact moment to step into my line of sight, and for a moment I’m completely robbed of my ability to speak. Hell, it feels like I can’t even fucking breathe.

“Before I get into the details,” I continue, breaking eye contact with Kadence to read my speech. “I want to thank the numerous stakeholders who came on board with this project, and made it a reality. However, there is one person in particular I have to thank for making this all possible.”

I find Kadence again, and lock my gaze with hers. She looks fucking incredible tonight, dressed in a light purple lace gown that makes her eyes pop. Her blonde hair, longer than when I last saw her, hangs in tight curls down her shoulders. She’s a ruby amongst wanna-be diamonds.

“Kadence Kavanagh.”

Her mouth opens, but I continue. “You are the inspiration behind this initiative.”

The ballroom goes quiet.

“Without you, this would have never happened,” I pause, “So without further ado, I would like to announce the Kadence Kavanagh Scholarship Program for girls.”

I can see Kadence’s eyes gloss over as she lifts a delicate hand to her mouth.

“This program is designed for girls, and young women with extraordinary talent and a desire to make the world a better place.”

I try to continue, but then Kadence turns around, and starts pushing her way through the throng of guests. Without thought, or provocation, I jump off the stage and follow her. Being lithe, and as small as she is, she makes quick work of it. I lose her for a minute, but my feet keep moving until we’re outside. I spot her running down the street in this piss cold weather, and pick up my pace.

“Kadence!” I yell. “Please, stop!”

She doesn’t.

How the fuck is she so fast in heels?

My feet hit the asphalt, pounding almost as loudly as my heart. When I said I would chase my woman, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind, but what the hell. I would run to the ends of the Earth if it meant I got to catch her.

When she’s finally within reach, I grab her arm, and bring both of us to a complete stop.

“Kadence,” my breaths come out in puffs as the cold November air swirls around us. “Stop, please.”

I can feel her body trembling, and I don’t know if it’s because of the cold or because she’s upset.

“I can’t.” It’s barely a whisper.

“Can you look at me?” I ask. I loosen my grip on her arm, and give a gentle pull. I want to see her face, her eyes.

“Why did you do this?” Her head turns in my direction, and what I find is a face strewn with tears, and lined with turmoil. I don’t understand it.

“For you,” I reply, like it’s that simple. I know it isn’t, but when it comes to complications she’s the only one I would ever want to be
complicated
with.

“Why couldn’t you just let me be, Caleb?”

I shake my head. “Because I love you, Kadence, and I wanted you to know that.”

Kadence response is to huff. “Love? You call it
love
when it’s taken you three fucking months to manipulate me back into your life? You don’t know what love is, Caleb.” She snatches her hand from my grasp, and turns away from me. “I have to go.”

I’m caught between ‘
what the fuck just happened
’ and the need to go after her, but I suspect she doesn’t want me to.

So much for my big romantic gesture.

I run through our interaction on my walk back to the ballroom. My desire to go back inside has disappeared, and all I want is to go home. I’m halfway up the stairs when a voice behind me makes me stop.

“So that’s it?”

I turn and see Annabelle a few steps below me.

“You’re just going to let her go?”

I shrug. “I did the whole big romantic gesture, and it didn’t work. What else should I do?”

Annabelle lets out a laugh filled with incredulity, and a hint of derision. She really doesn’t like me anymore, even if I have all the respect in the world for her. She has been there for Kadence, helped her start over.

“You think what you did in there is considered a romantic gesture?”

I frown. “Yes, I actually do.”

“Then you’re as clueless as every man in this city.”

“Look, Annabelle, I appreciate that you brought her tonight, I really do, but I tried and it didn’t work. You can drop the ‘
Caleb is a heartless asshole
’ act. I’m done.”

“I never took you for someone who gave up so easily.”

Annabelle’s haughty tone triggers my annoyance.

“I
tried
Annabelle, and you know what, Kadence is the one who walked away,
again.
What more do you want from me?”

“To try
harder,
” she snaps. “You think putting her in the spotlight like
that
,” – she points to the doors of the hotel – “Is going to make her forgive you? If so, you really don’t know her at all.”

“I made a fucking mistake.” It’s my turn to snap. “And I have paid dearly for it from the moment Kadence walked out of my life. I can’t make her want me, or love me, or choose to forgive me.”

“She’s already done all of those things, Caleb! She’s just too stubborn to admit it.”

I stare at Annabelle, surprised by how loud she can scream for someone who reminds me of a pixie.

“Now, if you’re serious about her, I have to tell you that she’s probably on her way to the airport.”

“The airport?”

“She’s supposed to fly home to see her Mom, but I have it on good authority that her Mom doesn’t want her to get on that plane.”

Annabelle lifts a brow, and then I get it.

I know how to get her back.

Fuck the big romantic gesture.

I’m going to do this my way.

THE TAXI STOPS outside of JFK and I throw money at him before jumping out. I dart past security, and run towards domestic departures. I scan the screens for a late flight to Charlotte but when I don’t find it, I head towards the information booth. The lady working behind the desk is chatting away on her cellphone, so I grab it out of her hands.

“Hey! What the -”

“I need to find the terminal for JetBlue or Delta airlines domestic departures.”

She scowls at me, and once I hand her phone back, she reluctantly pulls up the information on her computer screen. She grumbles the terminal numbers, and I set off running towards the first. Scanning the boards for Delta Airlines, I growl in frustration when I spot no flights to Charlotte. Next is Terminal five, for JetBlue Airlines, and my body sags as soon as I see a flight to Charlotte.

Dammit.

It’s boarding.

I find the check-out counter, and ask the lady if all the passengers have already boarded.

“I’m sorry, sir. Unfortunately, the gates are now closed, and all passengers are on the aircraft.”

My fist comes down on the desk, and she jumps.

“Fuck!”

I look around, hoping against all hope that Kadence chose not to get on that flight. I don’t see her anywhere.

I start towards the exit, contemplating my next move and when I step outside, I find Alfie waiting for me at the curb. He says nothing as I climb into the backseat, and I’m grateful for it. Not that he ever says much, but I know he took quite a liking to Kadence, and I half expected him to chew my ass out for giving up so easily.