Playing Scared (31 page)

Gwendolyn Mok on,
(1)

Hewitt and Flett on,
(1)

injuries and,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)

in Japan,
(1)

by John Orlando,
(1)
,
(2)

by Nancy Shainberg Colier,
(1)

by Oneida Perfectionists,
(1)

by Ron Thompson,
(1)

suicide and,
(1)

by Tolstoy,
(1)

perfectionism paradox,
(1)

performance

as aggressive act,
(1)

in contemporary culture,
(1)

reintegration and,
(1)

performance anxiety,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)
.
See also
stage fright

Perform or Else
(McKenzie),
(1)

Perls, Fritz,
(1)
,
(2)

Phillip Fillmore (in
Private Lessons
),
(1)

pianist’s cramp,
(1)
,
(2)

piano

author’s stage fright at,
(1)
,
(2)

as author’s touchstone,
(1)

piano camp,
(1)

Piazzolla, Astor,
(1)

Pip (in
Great Expectations
),
(1)

Pittsburgh Pirates,
(1)

plasticity of brain,
(1)
,
(2)

poisoning by people,
(1)
,
(2)

politicians,
(1)

Polly (author’s mother)

ambitions for daughter,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)

author’s wish for approval of,
(1)
,
(2)

moving of family to New York,
(1)
,
(2)

performance expectations of,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)

Port Colborne, Ontario,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)

post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD),
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)

Powell, Ginnie,
(1)

practice, spiritual,
(1)

prefrontal cortex of brain,
(1)
,
(2)

Prentzel’s Sonata no.
(1)
,
(2)

Pride and Prejudice
(Austen),
(1)

Private Lessons
(film),
(1)

propranolol,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
.
See also
beta-blockers

psychiatry,
(1)

psychological erection,
(1)

psychology

centering,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)

child prodigies and,
(1)

control-mastery theory,
(1)

deintegration and reintegration cycle,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)

deintegrative anxiety,
(1)

Freudian,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)
,
(5)
,
(6)

integrative,
(1)

integrity, archetype of,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)

Jungian,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)

merger state,
(1)

sport psychology,
(1)

survivor guilt,
(1)

unresolved intergenerational loss,
(1)

psychotherapy,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)
,
(5)

PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder),
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)

public speaking, fear of

Alcibiades’s,
(1)
,
(2)

announcers and,
(1)

college requirements and,
(1)
,
(2)

fear of feeling during,
(1)

as form of stage fright,
(1)

group therapy for,
(1)
,
(2)

Judaism and
aymat zibur
,
(1)

Jungian psychology and,
(1)

lawyers and,
(1)
,
(2)

ministers and,
(1)
,
(2)

as most common in America,
(1)
,
(2)

musicians and,
(1)

pill for,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)

practice and,
(1)

suicide and,
(1)

Toastmasters,
(1)

virtual reality programs for,
(1)

Pullen, Don,
(1)

pul meunuh
,
(1)
,
(2)

R. H. Bruskin Associates,
(1)

race car drivers,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)

Rachmaninoff, Sergei,
(1)

Raeburn, Boyd,
(1)

Raeburn, Susan,
(1)

Raskolnikov (in
Crime and Punishment
),
(1)

reintegration,
(1)
,
(2)

religious leaders and performance anxiety,
(1)
,
(2)

resilience,
(1)

Rich (author’s husband),
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)
,
(5)

Richter, Sviatoslav,
(1)

Ridout, Nicholas,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)

right-handedness,
(1)
,
(2)

right hemisphere of brain,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)

Rivers, Sam,
(1)

Robbins, Anthony,
(1)

Robson, Bonnie,
(1)

Roosevelt, Eleanor,
(1)

Rosen, Charles,
(1)

Rothman, Mark,
(1)
,
(2)

Rubin, Burton,
(1)

Russia,
(1)

Russian School (violin technique),
(1)

Sacks, Oliver,
(1)

Sadie (Rothman’s music teacher),
(1)

San Jose International Airport,
(1)
,
(2)

Santa Barbara Symphony,
(1)

Sant’ Ambrogio, Sara,
(1)

Sasser, Mackey,
(1)

Sax, Dave,
(1)

Sax, John,
(1)
,
(2)

Sax, Nancy,
(1)
,
(2)

Sax, Steve,
(1)

Schiff, András,
(1)

Schlueter, Charlie,
(1)

Schnabel, Artur,
(1)
,
(2)

Schnabel, Karl Ulrich,
(1)

the schneid,
(1)

Schumann, Clara,
(1)
,
(2)

Schumann, Robert,
(1)

Schumann’s Piano Concerto,
(1)

Segovia, Andrés,
(1)

Seinfeld, Jerry,
(1)

sekimen-kyofu
,
(1)

self-acceptance,
(1)

self-consciousness,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)

Self-Expression Center, Houston,
(1)

semen-worry,
(1)
,
(2)

separation anxiety,
(1)

sexual dysfunction,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)

Sey, Jennifer,
(1)

the shadow,
(1)
,
(2)

Shainberg, David,
(1)

Shainberg, Diane,
(1)

Shearing, George,
(1)

shinkeishitsu
,
(1)

shubo-kyofu
,
(1)

shy bladder syndrome.
See
paruresis

Sierra Community College,
(1)

Simon, Carly,
(1)

singing brain,
(1)

slack rope vs. tightrope,
(1)

Slenczynski, Joseph,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)

Slenczynski, Ruth,
(1)

Smith, Larry,
(1)

Smith, Laura,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)
,
(5)

soccer,
(1)

social phobias,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)
,
(5)
,
(6)

Socrates,
(1)

Soifer, Steven,
(1)

Solo Piano Album
(Pullen),
(1)

Solovitch, Sara

attack, escape from,
(1)

Bach, feelings about.
See under
Bach, Johann Sebastian

beta-blocker use by,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)
,
(5)
,
(6)

Brahms, feelings about.
See under
Brahms, Johannes

childhood piano playing by

at graduation recital,
(1)

at St. Catharines competition,
(1)
,
(2)

stage fright,
(1)
,
(2)

cognitive behavior therapy assignments,
(1)

college, marriage, and family life of,
(1)

earthquake survival,
(1)

exposure therapy

airport recitals,
(1)
,
(2)

concert,
(1)
,
(2)

library recital,
(1)
,
(2)

piano camp,
(1)

soirees,
(1)

family of

Aunt Bessie,
(1)

Aunty Maddy.
See
Maddy (author’s aunt)

brother Joseph,
(1)

father,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)
,
(5)

grandparents in Russia,
(1)

husband Rich,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)
,
(5)

mother Polly.
See
Polly (author’s mother)

sister Syma,
(1)

sons,
(1)
,
(2)
.
See also
Ben (author’s son); Jesse (author’s son); Max (author’s son)

in family photos,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)

Greene’s work with,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)

Kageyama’s work with,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)
,
(5)
,
(6)

mindfulness quest by.
See
mindfulness

Mozart, feelings about,
(1)

perfectionism of,
(1)

at piano camp,
(1)

return to piano

confrontation of stage fright,
(1)

in group piano class,
(1)

at lake house,
(1)

lessons with Landis,
(1)

little recital,
(1)

teacher search,
(1)

auditioning for,
(1)

Ellen Chen,
(1)

Landis Gwynn,
(1)

Lynn Kidder,
(1)

Mark Rothman,
(1)

need for guru and,
(1)

Sonata Workshop,
(1)

Song, Master (tae kwon do instructor),
(1)

sport psychology,
(1)
,
(2)

sports

beta-blocker restrictions in,
(1)

mind-body disconnect,
(1)

music compared to,
(1)
,
(2)

overthinking in,
(1)
,
(2)

perfectionism in,
(1)
,
(2)

performance anxiety in,
(1)
,
(2)

performance inventory,
(1)
,
(2)

St. Catharines piano competition,
(1)
,
(2)

St. Norbert College,
(1)

stage fright.
See also
anxiety; fear; social phobias

author’s confrontation of,
(1)

author’s early experiences of,
(1)
,
(2)

author’s evaluation for,
(1)

beta-blockers used for.
See
beta-blockers

childhood experiences and,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)
,
(4)
,
(5)
,
(6)
,
(7)

Chiu on,
(1)

culture-specific variants of.
See
culture-specific variants of performance anxiety

in
DSM
,
(1)

history of.
See
history of stage fright and famous sufferers

Jungian view of,
(1)

mindfulness and.
See
mindfulness

pathogenic beliefs and,
(1)

perfectionism and.
See
perfection, pursuit of

psychology of.
See
psychology

PTSD compared to,
(1)

public speaking and.
See
public speaking, fear of

as reversion to infantile behavior,
(1)

Rothman and,
(1)

Slenczynska’s preparation for,
(1)

in sports.
See
sports

strategies to lessen,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)

terms used for,
(1)

tightening up and,
(1)

Stage Fright, Animals, and Other Theatrical Problems
(Ridout),
(1)

Stage Fright: Its Role in Acting
(Aaron),
(1)

Stagefright Survival School,
(1)
,
(2)
,
(3)

stage lighting, history of,
(1)

Stanislavski, Constantin,
(1)

Stanislavski system,
(1)

Steinbeck, John,
(1)

Steve Blass disease,
(1)
,
(2)

Steve Sax syndrome,
(1)

Stewart, Rod,
(1)