Playing the Field: A Diamonds and Dugouts Novel (17 page)

JP nodded. Not that you’d really know it was him by the way he looked right now. With his sandals, tan, and cargo shorts he could pass for just about any average Colorado guy. Except for the air of confidence that surrounded him. That was anything but average. He had a presence that made people sit up and take notice.

The boy turned to his friends. “Somebody gimme a pen.” After a frantic search, someone held a pen out from the small crowd and the boy handed it to JP. “Will you sign my arm, dude? I don’t have any paper.”

Somehow Sonny was sure that wasn’t the weirdest request he’d ever gotten. “There’s a napkin here if you want.” She held it up by a corner and let it dangle.

The brown-haired kids smiled gratefully. “Sweet. Thanks.”

After she handed JP the napkin and he’d signed it, he passed it to the kid and shook hands with the others. And it brought the unwavering fact of his fame right back to the forefront.

While she looked on, JP made easy conversation with the college guys, chatting and grinning and talking shop. It was so blatantly obvious that he enjoyed the attention, the social interaction. For somebody like her, who was private to an almost ridiculous degree, it made her highly uncomfortable. Like she was under a magnifying glass and the whole world was staring down at her. She didn’t think that she could ever get used to it—way too smothering. Even now her chest felt a little tight.

If she couldn’t deal with it and he enjoyed his public life, then how could they ever really seriously consider being together?

Pondering that, Sonny watched the conversation and had a moment of awkwardness when she realized that JP wasn’t that far removed, age-wise, from the group of boys.

But then she looked at him, the way he held himself, and the moment melted away. That was one issue she just didn’t need to have about JP. Lord knew that if things headed where she was beginning to think they might, then she was going to have enough issues to contend with. Worrying that he was too young was a waste of time.

Surprisingly, it felt really good to put one issue to rest before it grabbed some traction. If only she could dismiss her issues over his fame and its consequences as easily. Or that suitcase full of baggage she’d been lugging around most of her life. One could always hope, right?

Charlie gained her attention. “Isn’t it cool that we get to hang out with JP, Mom? Like, everybody knows him ’cause he’s so awesome.”

He said it was awesome now, but what about a year from now when he’d had to deal with these kinds of intrusions every day?

Sonny reached over, ruffled his hair and kept it light. “Sure it is, sweetheart. But you have to remember that JP is just a person like the rest of us.” A really, really popular one. Still. She leaned toward him conspiratorially. “I bet he even farts just like the rest of us too.”

That mental image sent the boy into a fit of laughter. JP must have overheard her whisper because he rejoined them at the table and said, “It’s true, slugger. I’m the reigning fart king.”

That, of course, made Charlie laugh even harder. It did her heart good to see him so happy, and it distracted her from the uncomfortable thoughts. Looking across the patio table to JP, Sonny’s heart tripped in her chest when their gazes locked and they grinned. It was the first time she’d ever had one of those moments with a man over her boy.

And it flustered her to no end. What was she supposed to do about all of this? Two months ago this thing hadn’t even been a blip on the radar. When they first met she’d been so resolved about it being just her and Charlie while he grew up. The last thing in the world she’d expected was something like this.

But now that she had it, what was she going to do with it?

Sonny replayed that question over and over in her mind while they ate Beau Jo’s famous pizza on a sun-filled late afternoon. Even though Charlie had put on sunscreen, his cheeks were looking a little pink by the time the bill came. Even her shoulders were feeling on the hot side.

Before she could open her mouth to suggest splitting the bill, JP whipped it up off the table and had it paid for. Feeling the need to chip in, she reached into her purse and pulled out some cash and tossed it down on the table for a tip while he signed an autograph for the waiter.

Though the volume of Denver Rush fans that came out of the woodwork when he was around surprised her, what really got her was how incredibly friendly and humble he was about the whole thing even as he ate it up.

Yes, he clearly enjoyed being the center of attention. He enjoyed his perks. But he was so stinking
nice
about it.

Every single person was treated with full attention and appreciation. And it served to further drive the point home that JP was one hell of a catch. No pun intended.

And it really seemed like he wanted to be caught by her.

In fact, the ballplayer was pretty much jumping right into her glove. She didn’t have to do much convincing. But the question that kept haunting her, that kept her from taking the next step was, why her?

She’d asked him that before and he’d made that cryptic speech about peeling layers, which she still wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. Clarification would no doubt work wonders, but she was afraid to ask. Because then it would lead to a whole other conversation about her deep rooted insecurities. And she just wasn’t really up for that.

Maybe if she summed it up with a simple, “Daddy issues,” he’d buy it and leave it well enough alone. Probably not, though. JP had turned out to be eerily perceptive and he’d see right through that in record time. Because the truth was Sonny had more than mere issues with her father.

Mentally ticking her fingers, she added abandonment issues, commitment issues, mommy issues, and trust issues to the list. You know, the normal garden variety dysfunctions. Toss in a dash of fear of intimacy and it rounded out to be a pretty substantial fare. Although, intimacy issues could probably be put under the “commitment issues” heading, couldn’t it?

Sonny shook her head, annoyed with where her thoughts had led her again. What would JP do when all that crap exploded all over him? Because, try as she might to keep it contained, it just came out. One minute she was mature, rational Sonny Miller. The next, she was a blubbering, confused, issue-ridden mess.

And that right there was the number one real reason she had avoided intimate relationships like the plague.

No way could she expect JP to accept that about her. God knows she wouldn’t, if the roles were reversed.

Which pretty much left her back at square one with two choices:

First choice: Cut bait and run. Just end everything now with JP before the whole thing goes beyond a few hot kisses. Everybody gets out safe and in one piece.

Or, the second choice: Suck it up, be an adult, deal with his celebrity, and come clean with JP about everything. Let him choose what he wants to accept or not.

Hell, who knows? Maybe he’s one of those guys who gets turned on by crazy.

Stealing a peek at him, Sonny dismissed the thought. Nah. He just didn’t seem the type. The guy was too grounded, too stable. If anything, he might find her amusing for a while until it all just became old.

Either way, she had a decision to make. She came to that realization with a sinking feeling as they prepared to pile in the cab of JP’s Toyota. Why did it have to be so damn hard?

Charlie swooped under her arms and threw himself against the passenger side door with a triumphant grin. “I call shotgun!”

Forcing her thoughts to clear, Sonny replied, “Fat chance, kid. I get the front.”

“Aww, Mom.” He flung his arms out across the red door, palms flush against the glossy paint.

“Back seat, bucko, or we tie you to the roof.” She was totally kidding.

He knew it too. “Only if I can wear goggles, Mom. I don’t want bugs in my eyes.”

“Oh, well, I think we can manage that.” She looked over to JP. “Got any goggles he can borrow?”

The ballplayer rubbed his chin and pretended to think. “I’m sure I’ve got something that’ll do.”

Charlie realized the futility of his plan and gave up. “Man, adults are tough.”

JP and Sonny locked gazes and said at the same time, “True that.”

With a huff her boy climbed into the backseat. When everyone was settled inside he tapped JP on his shoulder. “Thanks for everything today. It rocked.”

JP reached back over the seat and pulled her boy into a pretend headlock. Charlie’s body was halfway in the front and he was giggling against his bent elbow. “No problem, slugger. I’m glad I was able to make it happen.”

The rest of the ride home was quiet in the fading afternoon light. By the time they’d pulled into the driveway it was almost full dark, and her son was fast asleep in the backseat. He may be growing up fast, but he was still her little boy. And he’d worn himself out.

Trying to decide whether to wake him up or not, JP took the decision out of her hands when he pulled her sleeping boy into his arms and headed toward the house. The way he cradled Charlie was so gentle that she felt tears sting the backs of her eyes.

She pointed to her son’s room and as she watched JP carry her baby down the hall her heart took a long, slow roll. And when she reached the doorway and saw him tucking her boy in so carefully and tenderly, she realized she’d given up the fight to stay away from JP.

Sonny pulled away from the door frame and sighed, acceptance pouring through her. It was time to have that talk.

Backtracking to the kitchen, a welcome calm came over her that stemmed from the resolve she now felt. Charlie adored JP. That much was plain to see. Just as it was obvious even to a blind man that JP liked him right back.

Then there was her. Sonny didn’t understand all of her feelings, but she knew that she had never felt this way about anyone ever before. And that meant something significant.

It meant she needed to try, even with all of her reservations.

Sonny was just about to grab the bottle of chardonnay that was chilling in the fridge when JP entered the room. “When that kid goes out, he really commits.”

He looked so wonderful standing there in the harsh kitchen light. Sonny took a deep breath, preparing for what was to come. “Would you like some wine?”

JP’s eye went dark and searching. “Are you asking me to stay?”

Yes, but she couldn’t say it out loud quite yet so she evaded. “It’s such a nice night that I thought we could sit on the front porch and talk and spend some time together.”

He pinned her with a look that she couldn’t read. “Do you really want that, Sonny?”

Did she? Though her insides were shaky, yes, yes she did. Swallowing hard, she answered, “I do.” Wow. She couldn’t believe she’d just said it. She, Sonny Miller, wanted JP Trudeau to stay. It was official.

With any luck, after he heard what she had to say he’d feel the same way.

Coming up behind her, JP wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the spot on her neck just below her ear. “I’ll take that wine.”

Chapter Fifteen

T
HE MOON WAS
bright and full when they settled on the front porch with their wine. Sonny tucked her bare feet underneath her on the padded chair and took a sip. Nerves danced along her skin as she contemplated how best to broach the topic. JP had settled next to her, his long muscular legs outstretched before him, wineglass in his hand.

Crickets sang in the grass nearby and a slight breeze stirred the warm evening air. In the distance the howl of a coyote could just be made out, the sound very faint. Under the light of the full moon her front yard looked magical, the old mature trees sentries to a mystical land beyond the veil.

The neighbor kid that pitched in with the farm once in a while when she was in a pinch had milked the goats and put them away for the night before dark. Every so often she heard noise coming from the barn as they settled down with their kids for some sleep.

It contented her, the sounds of the country. And it gave her courage to speak. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about a few things, JP.”

The shortstop cradled the glass in a large hand. “Is that so?”

He was so calm and nonthreatening that she was able to continue. “I like you. A lot.”

He wiped his brow with his free hand. “
Phew
. That’s good to know. I was sweating that big time.”

Sonny batted a hand at him, smiling. “Oh shut up.” She took another sip of wine. “Seriously, JP.”

“I was being serious.”

He so wasn’t. “You’re not making this easy.”

JP leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Sorry. What’s on your mind, sunshine?”

When he called her that her insides went all mushy, but there was something she had to get off her chest. Something she just had to say.

“I hate that you’re a celebrity.”

The words came out on a quiet rush. As soon as they were out a weight seemed to lift from her, and she peeked at him through her lashes to gauge his reaction.

For a moment he didn’t speak. Instead he settled comfortably in his seat and took a sip of white wine. After what felt like a small eternity he lowered the glass to his knee. “I suspected so. It’s not something I can change, Sonny.”

She knew that, but as irrational as it was she still wished he could. “I’m not sure I’m up for it in the long run, JP. I need my privacy. I’m not okay with people poking around my or my son’s personal business. I’m worried about what it could do to him in the long run.” Maybe if she had a different past she wouldn’t feel that way. “I’m not sure how to resolve it. I just know that it’s there and it isn’t budging.”

“Give it time to see how it settles out, Sonny. Can you do that for me?”

Could she?

His amber eyes were filled with warmth and patience and her heart squeezed tight. Yeah, she could give it time. She smiled briefly. “Sure, JP. I can do that. But there’re also some things about me that I need to tell you. Things you need to know so that you can choose what to do once you have the information.”

He placed a reassuring hand on top of hers and squeezed. “Spill it, woman. Tell me what’s so important.”