Playing the Hand You're Dealt (26 page)

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Authors: Trice Hickman

BOOK: Playing the Hand You're Dealt
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I was relieved when we walked through my door and into the quiet safety of my home.Tyler and I still hadn't said much to each other.We sat on the couch for a few minutes before I told him that I was going up to take a shower and clear my head. I left him downstairs and hoped he wasn't rethinking our relationship.
Just as I was getting things together, I fucked up again. Poor choices was my middle name.This was like déjà vu, the story of my life, and it made me remember the advice that Gerti had given me at the kitchen table just last weekend.
I peeled out of my little black dress and stepped into the shower. It felt good standing under the stream of warm water as it rained down on my skin. I wished I could wash away my bad decisions and disappointment in myself, but I knew only time and hard work could do that. After an intensely long and self-reflecting cleanse, I toweled off and walked out to my bedroom. I stood still when I saw Tyler sitting in the middle of the bed holding a cupcake with a single candle in the center.
“Happy birthday to you . . .”
Tyler sang the birthday song to me as I stood before him, wrapped in my towel with a smile on my face and puddles of tears in my eyes. It took a hell of a lot to make me cry. Mother had taken me there tonight through anger and hurt, but Tyler was taking me there now, through joy and love. I sat on the bed, made a wish, and blew out the candle.
“What did you wish for?”
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “Like I told CJ tonight . . . that someday I'll deserve this.”
Tyler sat the cupcake on the nightstand and then held both of my hands in his. “Sam, I told you, you deserve more than you think.You just need to start believing it.”
“How can you say that? You saw how I acted tonight.”
“Yeah.” He chuckled. “You were talkin' big shit. ‘I'ma beat your ass right here in front of all these people,' ” he mimicked in a high-pitched voice, rolling his neck from side to side as he mimicked me.
He'd just turned my vulgarity into humor.We both burst into laughter, falling back onto the bed as we roared until our sides hurt. My mind floated back to the conversation that Emily and I had when she asked me if a man had ever made me laugh.That was when it hit me that not only was Tyler my lover, he was my friend, and as Emily had said, he was the kind of man who could reach my heart.
Tyler stroked his hand against my face and spoke to me softly, and gently. “Sam, I love everything about you, baby. I love the good side, the imperfect side, and the crazy wild side. I love it all because it makes you who you are.”
I wanted to cry again, but I had bawled enough for one night. I replaced my tears with smiles and my embarrassment with hope. “I love you, too, Tyler.” I removed my towel, kissed my man, and thanked God for giving a prodigal child a second chance.
Chapter 24
Brenda . . .
 
 
 
 
Jealousy Is a Terrible, Terrible Thing
 
I
t was shortly after ten when Brenda said good night to her last guest, her sister, Dorothy. If the sight of the police cars that had been parked in front of her house wasn't a dead giveaway that her party had been a complete disaster, the fact that her grand soiree had ended well before midnight definitely was.
“Are you sure you're all right?” Dorothy asked as she stood at Brenda's front door.
“Yes, I'm fine.”
“No, you're not. I can stay if you want to talk?”
Brenda tried to paint on a resilient smile. “No, I'll be okay, really.”
“Call me tomorrow,” Dorothy said as she reluctantly walked to her car.
Brenda shut the door, furious and completely disgusted. After all her hard work, her elegant summer garden party had turned into a triumphant disaster. At the moment, she was thankful for only two things. The first was that Juanita Presley had caught a twenty-four-hour bug and hadn't been able to attend, and the second was that all the guests had dispersed before Samantha had provoked her into a physical confrontation. Just the thought of it all made her head pound.
Brenda walked over to the patio door and looked out into the backyard—the scene of the crime. The large, empty tent was dark and full of disappointment; a stark contrast to the life it had breathed at the beginning of what she thought would be a spectacular evening. Instead, she was humiliated in front of a crowd of the most powerful Who's Who in DC
.
Every time she thought about her daughter, her head throbbed even harder. She knew that Samantha hated her, but she had no idea how much until tonight. “Samantha ruined everything for me,” Brenda fumed, touching the red welt that shined bright on the side of her face.
Samantha had even ruined her chances of securing the prestigious board position she'd been coveting. She was incredulous that her goals had been ripped apart in a matter of minutes. “I was so close,” Brenda lamented, thinking about how the chairwoman of Rock Creek Family Support Collaborative had smiled when she heard Emily give loud praise for her kindness and generosity. The disappointment was too much for Brenda to bear, so she headed for the kitchen to claim the bottle of champagne with her name on it. She'd left the bubbly chilling in the refrigerator, a reward to herself in celebration of her fabulous party. But now, it would serve as salve to help ease her wounds.
When she walked into the kitchen she found Gerti standing at the sink, filling the coffeepot with water. Neither of them said a word to each other as Brenda retrieved her bottle of liquid feelgood, ready to go upstairs and drink her troubles away. But both women stopped what they were doing when Ed appeared, looking heated.
“Gerti, there's no need to worry about making me coffee for tomorrow morning,” Ed said as he walked toward the back door. He held his keys in one hand and an overnight bag in the other.
“Where are you going at this hour?” Brenda asked, looking at her watch.
“Out, with Ross.”
“And that requires your overnight bag?”
“Yes. I won't be back until tomorrow.”
“Come again?” Brenda balked, walking toward Ed. She glanced over her shoulder at Gerti, who was still standing at the sink, then lowered her voice. “Ed, let's talk about this in private.”
“There's no need for that. Gerti knows the real deal between you and me. I'm leaving now,” he said with no emotion.
Brenda drew in a deep breath. “I can't believe you'd leave me all alone in my time of need, especially after all that I've been through tonight.”
Ed looked at her and shook his head. “All you think about is yourself. I haven't seen Sam cry since she gashed her knee open when she was learning how to ride her bike. And even then she tried to fight back the tears. But tonight, you, her own mother, slapped her and brought her to tears. It was despicable.”
“She was responsible for what happened!”
“And she tried to apologize,” Ed shot back. “But you were so full of venom that you didn't even realize she was hurting. I've had it up to here with you.” Ed nodded toward Gerti, said good night, and then turned and walked out the back door.
“The nerve,” Brenda hissed. “That man doesn't deserve me.”
Gerti sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes.
“Do you have something to say?” Brenda glared.
Gerti dumped the water out of the coffeepot and returned it to the counter. “As a matter of fact, I do.” She stared at Brenda, not blinking an eye. “There was a time when I used to despise you, just like the rest of them,” she said, planting her hands against the counter.
Brenda raised her brow in astonishment and opened her mouth to speak, but the look in Gerti's eyes caused her to back down and remain silent as the woman continued. “I've watched you beat down everybody around you, even your own children, just so you could feel like you were the one on top. But the whole time you were tearing them down, you were standing at the very bottom all by yourself. Once I realized that, I couldn't despise you anymore, and that's when I started to pity you.”
“You,
of all people, pity
me?”
Brenda scoffed, looking down her nose at Gerti. “Jealousy is a terrible, terrible thing.”
“So is being a bitch.”
“How dare you speak to me that way.”
Gerti rolled her eyes again. “I'm a grown woman and I can speak to you however the hell I like. The only reason I haven't cussed your hateful ass out before now is because I love Sam, Ed, and CJ too much to disrespect you under this roof. I've tried to stay in line so I could protect them from you, and I prayed for years that you'd change, but you haven't. Now I'm through.”
Gerti walked away from the sink and over to where Brenda stood at the table. “You've been such a rotten mother to Sam that she doesn't even know how to be a decent one to her own child. She's scared she'll screw up CJ the same way you messed her up,” she said, taking a pause.
“I know Sam bears responsibility for the poor decisions she's made over the years and the reckless things she's done, but so do you. She didn't deserve to be slapped across her face,” Gerti said, shaking her head again. “But don't worry, Brenda Baldwin, if you think that being embarrassed in front of all your socialite friends was bad, you just wait, 'cause this is only the beginning of your payback. People are sick of your shit and they're not gonna stick around and take it anymore.”
Brenda stood with her mouth hanging open as Gerti walked past her toward the back door, giving her one last piece of her mind. “You better be glad I didn't slap you, too. I'm gonna pray for you, Brenda. I really am.”
Chapter 25
Ed . . .
 
 
 
 
I Want You Right Here
 
I
started the engine and heard the sound of freedom. I was leaving home and escaping Brenda. The night had been like something straight out of a novel, only worse because you couldn't make up the kind of drama that had unfolded under my roof. It took everything inside me not to put my hands around Brenda's neck after what she did to Sam, and that was why I knew I had to leave before I ended up beside Carl and his cousin in a holding cell downtown.
It was still pouring rain, and now heavy thunder was clapping loud above, mixing with the lightning that had begun to streak across the sky. I stepped on the gas and headed down the street. I had no intention of hanging out with Ross because I knew he was preoccupied with the attractive woman he'd left the party with. I thought about dropping by Sam's place to make sure she was okay, but I remembered that Tyler was there and he would take care of her, which made my mind rest a little easier.Then naturally, as it always did, my thoughts fell on Emily and the birthday gift I had for her that was tucked away inside my overnight bag. I hit the speaker button on my car phone and dialed her number. She picked up on the third ring.
“Hello.”
“Emily, it's Ed.”
“I know.”
There was a long pause between us before I spoke again. “I want to see you.”
“But, Ed . . .”
“Emily, I want to come over.” At that moment I didn't want to hear any objections, excuses, or hesitations. All I wanted to do was see her, be with her, and breathe her into my life. “Emily . . . please.”
Ten minutes later I walked through Emily's back door. She asked me to park in her garage so I wouldn't have to leave my truck out on the street. I appreciated her discretion, but I really didn't care if anyone knew I was there. She greeted me with a tentative smile as my eyes quickly roamed over her. She had changed out of the beautiful, exotic dress she had worn to the party and was now lounging in a simple cotton T-shirt and a pair of white shorts with the word
pink
written across the perfect roundness of her behind. She looked tantalizing and delicious.
As I walked through her immaculate kitchen and into her cozy living room, I felt a sense of peace, like I was home. We sat on opposite ends of her couch. The room was dimly lit by a small table lamp in the corner and a scented candle, creating an intimate feel. “Thanks for letting me come over,” I started.
“The way you asked, did I have a choice?”
“Everyone has a choice.”
“Yes, you're right. Everyone does,” she said in a whisper.
A calm silence fell across the room as we listened to the rain, which seemed to be coming down even harder since I entered the house.We were beginning the same song and dance that we always found ourselves drowning in, when everything suddenly changed.
Emily slid her body next to mine, then, in one quick motion she straddled my lap and sat on top of me. I looked into her eyes as she placed her hands on my shoulders. “To answer the question you asked me earlier tonight,” she said, returning my stare, “yes, Ed. I love you.”
She leaned into me and brushed her soft lips against mine, inviting me to taste her sweet tongue. Her mouth was wet, and warm, and I was surprised by the force of her kiss. I had imagined that our first kiss would be slow, innocent, and dainty, like she was. Instead, it was ferocious, hungry, and wanton. I loved every minute of it.
Emily continued to kiss me as her hips began a sultry grind against my crotch. I eased my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me, enjoying the way her body felt against mine. She managed to unbutton my shirt with remarkable speed as I lifted hers over her head and tossed it to the side of her couch. She wasn't wearing a bra, so I had immediate access. Her breasts were a perfect, supple mouthful, and her dark, round nipples called for me to take a lick. She leaned against me as I sucked her into my mouth, circling my tongue around her soft flesh while I ran my hands down her slender back. She moaned into my ear, “
Mmm.
Oh, Ed.”
When I heard her lustfully whisper my name, my erection nearly burst through the zipper of my pants. Emily smiled when she felt my obvious excitement. I slid my hands along the side of her thighs, and then ventured to her soft, round ass that had always made me stand at attention. I continued to suck her breasts while I eased my hands down the elastic waistband of her shorts. My fingers glided against the lacy material of her thong, sending me straight through the roof.
We continued to kiss, and grind, and fondle until neither of us could take it anymore. And again, Emily took the lead. She moved down to the floor and brought me with her. She wiggled out of her shorts and thong and then started unzipping my pants. “Do you want to go upstairs, to your bedroom?” I panted into her ear as I kissed her right below her lobe. Don't ask me why I interrupted the moment with that crazy question. I guess I always envisioned our first time being atop a big, soft bed, with fluffy white sheets. Women weren't the only ones who liked romance.
“I want you right here,” Emily panted, kissing me harder and deeper. She was lying on her back, legs spread open, ready for me as I hovered above.
She didn't have to tell me twice. I came out of my pants and boxers, ready to move in for the kill.
“Condoms,” she breathed hard, looking up at me. “Do you have condoms?”
Damn! Why hadn't I thought to pick some up on my way over? I'd been so focused on getting here that it didn't cross my mind. I'd hoped that we would do some heavy petting, maybe even a little fondling beneath each other's clothes, but nothing like this. I honestly hadn't anticipated on Emily taking the bull by the balls!
My body was resting on top of hers, in between her luscious brown thighs. It was where I had always wanted to be, and I was literally harder than nails. How could I not be prepared? I rose on my elbows and looked into her eyes. “I don't have any.”
I heard a small, disappointed sigh escape Emily's mouth as she turned her head to the side. I thought she was going to tell me that we had to stop, but then she surprised me again.
“Ed, I want you,” she whispered. She kissed me and wrapped her arms around the middle of my back as she pressed her chest against mine. Her hips continued to grind below as she opened her legs wider. I could feel her warm wetness against my thigh. Before I knew it I was at the creamy center of what I'd been longing for.
“Oh, Emily,” I moaned.
She reached down between our bodies, and when I felt her delicate grip around my swollen manhood, I nearly bit the inside of my jaw. She rubbed her palm up and down the entire length of my thick shaft and smiled.
“Mmm,”
she purred in a seductive voice that made me grow even harder. She jutted her pelvis forward, held me securely in her hand, and then gently nudged the tip of my head inside her. “Ooohhh, Eeeeeeddddd!”
This was magic.
Emily had called all the shots and I followed her lead. But now I needed to take over. I kissed her hard as I plunged inside her with the precise amount of force that I instinctively knew she wanted. She gasped as she took in every inch of me.
“Oh, baby, you feel so good,” I moaned into the air as I felt her tight inner walls envelop me like a warm cocoon. I rocked her back and forth until I found her rhythm. Once I did, I stroked her, taking my time, immersing myself in the feel of her soft, naked body against mine and the taste of her salty skin on the tip of my tongue. Damn, I loved this woman.
We moved faster and harder as we kissed, and ground, and moaned our way to the edge of her Persian rug. Sweat poured from my forehead and dripped onto hers before trickling down the side of her beautiful face. I tried to hold back because I wanted the feeling to last all night, but the power of the euphoric sensations running through my body was too great. I felt Emily's warm breath whistle in my ear as she thrashed against me. “Yes! Yes! Ed . . . Ooohhhhh,” she moaned.
Emily trembled and slowed her movements, but she continued to engulf me inside her tender warmth. She let out a high-pitched moan as she bucked against me, giving in to a shivering climax that brought an exhausted smile to her lips. I was so turned on that I lost all thought and control. I knew I needed to pull out because I could feel my shaft pulsating with the unmistakable sensation that rises when you're about to come. I was in another world, high on the ecstasy that was surging through my body. “Oooooh, Emily. Oh, baby,” I moaned as I unleashed my orgasm in a hot rush until I emptied myself inside her.
We stayed frozen where we were, not moving a muscle. Emily's legs rested against the side of my hips, her arms around my back. She held me like a baby as I lay between her thighs. I tried to ease my body off her and onto my elbows because I didn't want my weight to cause her discomfort. But she wouldn't allow it. She pulled me back onto her sweat-soaked chest and stroked her fingers through my hair, letting her nails graze my scalp. We listened in silence as the rain pelted against the window in sheets. This was heaven, I was sure.
I kissed her collarbone and then found her lips, planting soft, delicate kisses around her mouth. Everything about her felt perfect, and I wanted to live in the moment forever. But reality quickly came rushing back and smacked me hard in my face. I'd been reckless, no better than a horny teenager.We had unprotected sex. “Emily?”
“Yes?”
I spoke into her shoulder. “Are you on the Pill?”
“Yes, Ed. I am.” Her voice was a sweet whisper as she spoke. “But I know what you're thinking. We should've used protection.” She shifted her head so she could look at me. “I'm sorry.”
“For what?”
“I initiated this.”
“You weren't in it alone.”
“But I had condoms, upstairs in my nightstand,” she said, pausing for a second. “But I didn't want to stop. I wanted to make love to you. Still, I knew better.”
“So did I.” I swept my eyes across her beautiful body, circling my index finger around her firm, right nipple. “Do you regret what we did?”
“No, I don't,” she answered, her voice begging to ask me the same question.
“Neither do I.”
“Where do we go from here?” she asked softly.
I smiled. “Upstairs to your bedroom.”

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