Playing With Fire (Sweet Secrets #3) (7 page)

Chapter 12

The sound of the duct tape unrolling was loud as Mom taped up my final box of things to move to John’s house. Most of her boxes were already moved over, but I still had a few things left in my room that needed to be packed up. Now that we were finished, I felt a sense of calm fill my body. I still had things left at my dad’s house in Virginia, but I was a lot less stressed now that all of my things were going to be split between two houses rather than three. I was more than ready to start unloading all of my things into my new room at John’s house. Maybe I could also stop referring to it as “John’s house.” Now it was going to be my house too.

It was strange that I was going to be living in a home with my mom and her boyfriend. Obviously he was much more than just a boyfriend—he’s the father of her youngest children, after all. I don’t quite know how best to refer to him. For now, he was just John to me. Maybe eventually he’d be my stepfather.

I practically shuddered at the thought of that word. My dad was across the country, and I was here, moving in with a new father figure. It seemed wrong, like I was betraying him. I knew that logically I wasn’t, and even Lena told me that he wasn’t mad at me, but I felt like I was doing something wrong. After Lena and I video-chatted the other day, I called my dad the very next night. He sounded so happy to hear from me, and we spoke for a while. For the first time since my decision not to return to Virginia, we actually spoke about why I stayed. Normally when we talked we just went over the basics.
“How’s school?” “How’s work?”
Then we promised to talk soon and hung up. This time I apologized for not coming back, and he said that he understood why I didn’t. He missed me though, and hoped he would be able to see me soon. I sure hoped so.

Mom lifted the box she’d finished taping up and let out a loud groan as she carried it toward the door. “Ella,” she said, “grab that last box, please.” She gestured with her head to a cardboard box that sat on top of my naked mattress. The room was bare to the bone, and all that was left was the furniture. It looked so sad without all of my stuff brightening it.

I lifted the box from the bed and flipped off the light switch as I left the room. I adjusted the box in one arm and pulled the door shut with the other hand. It felt like I was closing the door on the past and taking a step into my future. In a week I would be celebrating my first Christmas with the twins, and I would hopefully be completely unpacked and moved into my new room.

I held the box tightly to my chest as I descended the stairs to the foyer. The front door was propped open, much to my grandma’s dismay, so we could load the car more easily. I followed Mom to the trunk of her car and placed the box inside. John had given her one of his cars so she could get around easier. Once we were finished in the house, Mom went back to lock up, and we got in the car to head to our new home.

As Mom backed out of the driveway, she glanced over at me and gave me a nervous smile. Her hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles flushed white.

“You all right?” I asked, eyeing her hands and her pursed lips.

Mom nodded and let out a breath of air that she was holding in. “Yeah,” she answered, flicking her eyes to me as we rolled to a stop at the end of the street.

I raised an eyebrow skeptically. “What’s wrong?”

She pressed on the gas a little too hard and the car jumped forward. As I held onto the door handle, I wished that I had offered to drive.

“I’m just nervous, that’s all,” she answered after a moment. She let out a shaky laugh. “Crazy, huh?”

I shook my head no, although I didn’t really understand why. “Why are you nervous?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe because this is a huge step that John and I are taking. It’s different when I was just spending the night there occasionally. Now I’m going to be
living
there. Both of us are. It’s huge.”

She was right. It was a pretty big step for them in their relationship. “It’ll be fine.”

“I know, but what if we get tired of each other since we’ll see each other every day?” She looked worried, and her forehead was scrunched up just above her eyebrows.

I laughed lightly, shaking my head. “You guys won’t get tired of each other. John loves you, and you love him.”

She chewed on her bottom lip as she nodded. We drove the rest of the way in silence. When we turned onto John’s street, Mom said, “You’re right. I’m being irrational.”

I held my forefinger and my thumb an inch apart as I said, “Just a little.”

She let out a breathy laugh. When we got closer to John’s house, instead of stopping, she drove past it. “I’m going to go around the block.”

“Don’t want our moment to end?”

She nodded, her hands still clenching the wheel. “Just not ready yet. I will be in a bit.” She glanced over at me and forced a smile. “Are you nervous?”

“No,” I answered a little too quickly. “Maybe just a little.”

She pursed her lips. “I never even stopped to ask you how you feel about the move.” It was like her statement was a spoken realization. “I am so sorry, honey.” She reached over and patted my knee before returning her hand to the steering wheel.

“It’s fine. I would’ve told you if I didn’t want to move. I’m excited. I really like John. Living at his house will take some getting used to, but
we’ll
get used to it in no time. Besides, I really love the twins, and I want to see them every day.” I’m also really happy that she’s happy, but I didn’t say it, not wanting to bring up any memories of how unhappy she had been until recently.

Mom’s face lit up at the mention of Taylor and Cammie. “Yeah, I’m ready to live with them too. Like a real mom.”

“You are a real mom.”

She nodded her head. “I know. It’s just…it was difficult not being around during their early memories. I’m happy I can be with them now.”

I smiled, leaning back in my seat. “Me too.”

We rounded a corner and came back to John’s street. As we neared the house, Mom said, “I’m ready now,” and pulled into the driveway. We sat there for a while before we got out and began unpacking, just staring up at this house that was now our home. Spending the night here a few times was different than living here. The room that I slept in was now
my
room. I would have my own space inside this house, and I could invite my friends over. I would watch my little siblings grow up here, and in turn I would do some growing myself. A week from now I would be spending my first Christmas with my mom, John, and the twins.

As I sat there, staring up at the single family home that held so much hope for my future, I wondered what it had in store for my mom and John. Hopefully it involved a bright future with a lot of happy memories.

Chapter 13

Christmas carols floated throughout the house, along with the smell of freshly baked cookies. My mom and I got up early to bake sugar cookies and make a huge breakfast in honor of our first Christmas in our new home. Thanks to John, the living room had been cleared of all boxes a few days before and we were able to put up our tree and decorate it together last night. We were late for decorating, but we still had a good time doing it. Taylor and Cammie even participated. Taylor sat on the floor near the tree, chewing on a stuffed ornament, while Cammie spent her time drooling on our stockings.

Now we were all sitting in the living room, preparing to open our gifts. John was holding Cammie in his lap and sitting on the couch, while my mom was sitting on the floor close to the tree with Taylor in her lap. I was next to her, with my laptop open in front of me.

This was a Christmas of firsts. Not only was it the first time I was spending it with the twins and John, but it was also my first time
not
spending it with Lena and my dad. I really missed them a lot. Lena and I had come up with the idea that we should video-chat while we opened our gifts—that way we could be together in a sense.

My laptop trilled as I called Lena. When she finally answered, I almost screeched in excitement. Her face took up the screen as she leaned in and shouted, “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” I yelled back. John and my mom echoed my words.

Lena’s red hair was straightened, and she had a pair of reindeer antlers perched on top of her head. When she leaned out of the screen, my dad’s face came into view.

“Merry Christmas, Dad!” I yelled, leaning into the camera.

His lips stretched into a wide, toothy smile. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart!”

Lena slid the camera back and adjusted the screen so they both could be seen. “Who goes first?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Me!” I chirped, making my mom and dad laugh. Ever since we were younger, I always wanted to go first opening my presents. Lena and I both liked watching each other open gifts, so we started taking turns so we could watch the other.

My mom dug around under our beautifully lit tree and handed me an immaculately wrapped present. She was always really good at wrapping presents. My dad, on the other hand, was not. He was excused from that task this year, since all of my gifts were either mailed here, or he sent my mom the money and told her what to buy.

This one was from my dad. I took in its long rectangular shape and tried to guess what it could be, but I only drew blanks. I held the box up to the camera and smiled before I undid the ribbon first, then tore through the wrapping paper like a wild animal. I knew instantly that Lena had helped him pick out this gift. I knew before I even took the top off of the shoes. Inside was a pair of brown leather riding boots. They had a shiny, gold clasp on the outside of each ankle, and were gorgeous.

My eyes practically bulged. Lena knew that I wanted a pair of high boots, and told Dad to get them for me for Christmas. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I screeched, holding a boot up.

“You’re welcome,” Dad responded with a chuckle.

I went through opening the rest of my gifts like that. Mom bought me a ton of clothes, which was always a great gift for me, while Dad got accessories and perfumes. They had to have planned that.

Lena’s gift was the last one I opened. It was in a small box. As I opened it, Lena bounced up and down on her spot. When the wrapping paper was off I saw that it was a jewelry box. I popped the lid open to reveal a delicate looking silver chain, with a rectangular prism connected to it sideways. On the side of the prism that I could see were the coordinates
‘N 38 81.6242 W 77 07.1282.’
I held the necklace up to the screen as I asked Lena what the coordinates were for.

She smiled as she answered, “Virginia.” Then she reached inside of her shirt and pulled the chain of a necklace until it was visible in the camera. She leaned forward so that I could see hers. Engraved into the metal were the coordinates ‘
N 32 77.9541 W 117 14.6344.’
“You have the coordinates for the city I’m in, and I have the coordinates for the city you’re in. Now we’ll have a little piece of each other with us whenever we’re apart.”

My mouth dropped open slightly, and behind me my mom said, “Lena, that was such a thoughtful gift.” John murmured in agreement.

“I love it,” I said, sliding around so my mom could put it on me. She hooked it easily, even with a squirming toddler in her lap.

“Looks great,” John said.

“Thanks,” I responded, stroking the necklace with my finger.

“That is really beautiful,” came Dad’s voice from the laptop.

Lena went through her gifts a lot faster than I went through mine. When it was her turn to open her gift from me, she held up the present. She furrowed her eyebrows at it in confusion and I could tell that she couldn’t guess what it was. She even shook it lightly. When she finally opened it, she let out a loud laugh that was followed by my dad’s laughter, and then said that she loved it.

“I want to see,” my mom called.

Lena held up my present to the screen for Mom and John to see. It was a long, rectangular picture frame that had the words,
‘I love you because you’re my sister,’
painted along the top, and,
‘I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it,’
painted along the bottom. Inside were three pictures. All of the times where I’d done something bad to her in the past. The first was a cute picture of us from when we were really young. Lena was a chunky two-year-old, sitting on a couch, holding the baby version of me in her arms. There was vomit all over her shirt, and Lena looked horrified, while I was smiling from ear to ear, showing off my gums. The next picture was from our elementary school years. I was laughing so hard that I was clutching my stomach, while Lena was crying and holding up a fistful of curly red hair. That was from the time I put gum in her hair and she had to get it cut out. The last picture was from us this past summer. Lena was sitting in the sand, and I was sitting sideways on her lap. Her arms were wrapped around me in a tight hug, and we were both grinning hard. It was a really cute picture.

“That’s adorable, Ella,” Mom praised.

After Dad opened the tie I sent him, and Mom opened the perfume Lena shipped here, we all said our goodbyes. I closed my laptop and fingered the necklace that was leaving a cool imprint on my chest. I really loved it. It made me feel closer to Lena and my dad as I spent the rest of the morning helping the twins open their presents, and the rest of the day celebrating my first Christmas away from them both.