Pledged (26 page)

JANUARY

When does Rush begin? You might not know it, but Rush begins during your freshman year in high school! Your grades, activities, and interests combine to make you the rushee of the future.

—Ready for Rush: The Must-Have Manual for Sorority Rushees! 1999

A smile is the sorority girl’s most important accessory . . . In fact, actives put Vaseline on their teeth (just like beauty contestants) to make smiling easier. Rushees go home at the end of the day with sore muscles from smiling. But it’s worth it . . . Some girls . . . should practice smiling in front of a mirror before rush.

—Rush: A Girl’s Guide to Sorority Success, 1985

JANUARY 10

AMY’S IM AWAY MESSAGE

some people confuse the heck outta me . . .

AMY RETURNED FROM WINTER
Break refreshed, relaxed, and excited for rush. All sororities at State U were required to come back from vacation a few days early to prepare for the formally structured process of recruiting and selecting new members. Alpha Rho held an annual Pre-Rush Weekend, an in-house retreat intended to remind the sisters of rush protocol and to build a sense of solidarity.

In between general sessions run by Charlotte, as president, and Elaine, the recruitment chair, during which the girls practiced “rush conversations” and learned rush songs, the chapter divided into smaller groups for team-building activities. During one of the general sessions, the girls discussed what the executive board considered the biggest weakness of the chapter: cliques.

“We need to act more like one sisterhood than a lot of little sisterhoods,” one board member said. “We need to break down the cliques.” Most sisters agreed.

“But there are always going to be cliques anyway,” said another. “We’re not all exactly alike—that’s one of the great things about Alpha Rho. We’re not the kind of sorority in which everyone’s the same and they’re all best friends but they’re also killing each other.”

“Maybe if we stopped prioritizing people by their seniority, pledge class divisions wouldn’t be so much of an issue,” a sophomore sister offered. “Seniority is kind of petty anyway.”

Whitney whipped around to face the girl. “I’ve been waiting four years to sit at the front of the meeting, so if you think that’s petty, then you’re mistaken,” she snapped. But by the end of the session, the sisters had come to a consensus that they would actively try to dissolve the subgroups within the house.

After the meeting ended, the girls had a short break before the next session. They immediately dispersed into their usual cliques.

Amy, Caitlin, and Sabrina met up in the kitchen to catch up on their relationship gossip. Caitlin and Chris were stable. Sabrina was upset that Mike seemed to be making less and less time for her (though he did grade her the A she deserved). While at home over break, Amy had reconnected with her high school sweetheart, who proclaimed his love for her and asked her to try a long-distance relationship.

“Ew, why him?” Sabrina asked. “He’s unattractive.” Sabrina had met him the year before and disliked him immediately.

“I don’t care!” Amy said, her dimples fading. “He doesn’t have to be hot. He’s like a teddy bear, and he’s adorable to me. He’s the only person I’ve ever been able to see myself with forever.”

“You’re just lovesick,” Caitlin dismissed. “You’re making him out to be perfect. No guy is perfect.”

“He is!” Amy crossed her pale arms.

“The only reason you think he’s perfect is because you only see him two weeks at a time,” Sabrina argued.

Amy couldn’t believe it. Finally, she seemed to be having a healthy, serious relationship, and her sisters couldn’t be happy for her because the guy didn’t meet their aesthetic standards. Amy decided her sisters were misguided because they didn’t understand what a real relationship was. In her opinion, their boyfriends clearly didn’t treat them properly, while her high school sweetheart treated her the way a girl should be treated, sending her roses and calling her almost daily. But she kept her thoughts to herself as the conversation shifted.

“Mike can’t kiss,” Sabrina complained.

“Chris can’t appreciate sex the way it should be appreciated anymore,” said Caitlin.

“I know. What’s with these guys? They hardly ever slow down or do something lovey-dovey or in the moment.”

“That’s never been the case with my guy,” Amy said. “I deflowered him!” This comment led to a debate over whether there were two or three classifications of intercourse.

“There are three categories: making love, sex, and fucking,” said Caitlin.

“There’s no difference between sex and fucking,” Amy argued. “They’re the same category.”

“You are so sheltered,” Sabrina said.

“The third one is just a yucky term for the second,” Amy said.

“You live in your own little fantasy world,” Caitlin said, exchanging a knowing look with Sabrina before she left to go to an exec board meeting.

An hour later, the exec board summoned the girls into the chapter room for the next session: “The Recruitment Runway,” a fashion show instructing the girls on what they could and could not wear during rush.

Rush was a weeklong series of nightly events known as “rush parties,” during which sisters would have short blocks of time to get to know the hundreds of candidates. On Monday, the “open house” party would be open to everyone. About twenty-five candidates at a time would be led into each sorority house for a fifteen-minute rush party, over a period of slightly more than five hours. All of the sisters had to be present for the entire duration.

A sister pranced in front of the room, wearing homemade letters on a tank top and a very short miniskirt. “This is an example of what you can’t wear to open house,” Elaine, the fashion-show emcee, said loudly. “No homemade letters. And you can’t wear miniskirts because you have to sit down and the skirt will ride up.”

Charlotte walked across the makeshift stage. “This is the ideal outfit for open house. On that first night,” said Elaine, “you are to wear your letters on a nice shirt, neatly tucked into your cute khakis, which can’t be cut up. You must wear cute shoes.”

On Tuesday would be the first round, a Teal and Jade party celebrating the sorority and its colors for the girls who had been selected to come back to the house. Each rushee could attend parties at up to ten houses if the sororities invited her. The sisters were expected to wear their sorority colors for the first round.

Grace paraded across the front of the room wearing large blue sweatpants, sneakers, and a green sports bra. The girls laughed. “That is not how you wear our colors. Obviously, you are not to dress messily any night of rush week,” Elaine said. “And your clothes should fit right—get a seamstress.” Fiona strutted onstage wearing navy slacks and a crisp green J. Crew sweater. “That’s more like it.”

Wednesday would be the second round, or “skit night,” during which some of the Alpha Rhos would perform a skit for the rushees, who could attend parties at four houses that night. The girls who were not in the skit were supposed to wear black capris and a brightly colored top.

Thursday would be the third round, or “Preference Night,” the most solemn night of the week. The rushees, who could attend up to two Preference parties, would be told to dress up for the occasion. The sisters were supposed to wear white dresses. Bitsy walked onstage in a short white skirt, a tight white tube top, and flip-flops. “Notice how Bitsy isn’t wearing any stockings,” Elaine pointed out. “That’s unacceptable. Stockings look nicer.” Following Bitsy, another sister wore a long white linen dress with nude stockings and white heels. Amy took notes in her pink sorority binder.

“Dress Checks”

JANUARY 12

VICKI’S IM AWAY MESSAGE

this is boooshit

WHEN VICKI STEPPED OFF THE PLANE AT THE AIRPORT NEAR
State U
after Winter Break, Olivia and Ashleigh came running in their platform sandals to greet her, screaming her name as they careened through the crowd. The house in January seemed like a different place than it had been when Vicki first moved there in August. This time, instead of moving in with her parents’ help, Vicki moved back into the house with her sisters. This time, with many of the juniors studying abroad, the sophomores were the dominant class in the house. Vicki walked into the entry hall, got her new room key from the House Mom, and started unpacking in the double she now shared with Olivia. She was neither excited nor apprehensive about moving back in for second semester. But she felt much more comfortable than she had the semester before. This time, the house actually seemed like the place where she lived.

That night, Vicki sat through her first rush practice. The exec board read through a long, confusing list of appropriate and inappropriate rush behavior. The sisters were forbidden, for example, to initiate discussions with the recruits about drinking and smoking. They were allowed to talk about these subjects, however, if they flowed naturally from the conversation. The sisters practiced talking about the sorority’s philanthropy, so they wouldn’t “forget and look stupid” if a recruit asked them about it. The meeting ended after the recruitment chair informed the girls what they were expected to wear for the week.

The night before rush began, the Beta Pi recruitment chair stopped in each sister’s room for “Dress Checks.” Every night this week, the Beta Pis were required to try on the clothes they planned to wear at the next day’s rush events. The recruitment chair would look over each girl’s outfit and veto it if she thought it was inappropriate. For open house, the Beta Pis were supposed to wear a shirt with their letters, khakis, and nice shoes or sandals.

Vicki and Olivia could hear sisters complaining after the recruitment chair left their rooms. “That’s still not good enough,” she said repeatedly, even after the sisters had changed their outfits. “That shirt doesn’t look great. You need to change into something else.”

Morgan came in and, without asking, tried on one of Olivia’s shirts. The shirt hung off her gaunt frame. “Ugh,” Morgan groaned as she twisted in front of the mirror, “I’m so fat.”

“Leave now,” said Olivia. Morgan skipped out, still wearing the shirt.

When the recruitment chair reached Vicki and Olivia’s room, she glanced down Vicki’s outfit and stared at her flip-flops.

“You can’t wear those. You need to wear fancy shoes,” the recruitment chair said.

“I don’t have fancy shoes.” Vicki owned only flats because she didn’t want to emphasize her height.

“Vicki, you have to wear what you’d wear to an interview. Everyone has those kinds of shoes.”

“I don’t.”

“What about nice sandals?”

“I don’t have those, either.”

“Borrow from Olivia.”

“The only ones she has that I can walk in are the ones she’s wearing.” Olivia parodied a model pose, pointing a sandaled toe and tossing her bleached hair.

“Then borrow from someone else.”

“But if I’m wearing shoes that I wouldn’t normally wear, then that isn’t my style and I’m not portraying the person I really am, right?”

“Oh, all right.” The recruitment chair gave up. “Try to find something, but if you can’t, then wear your flip-flops. Just don’t tell anybody.”

“Okay.”

As the recruitment chair turned to leave the room she scrutinized Olivia, whose outfit she had already approved. “Get a belt, Olivia,” she said, and walked out.

Practicing Conversations

FOR MOST SORORITIES, “RUSH”—THE OFFICIAL RECRUITMENT
period during which members and candidates get to know each other and narrow down the mutual selection process—is the most stressful time of the year. Never is the image of a sorority more important than when the girls are on display in an attempt to attract the best new members available. On the one hand, Vicki disliked the superficiality of the rush atmosphere; she said to me, “If this is the white shirt I’m comfortable in, then this is the white shirt I should be wearing, to reflect who I am.” On the other hand, she also understood her sorority’s perspective. “Beta Pi wants to portray a certain image,” she said, rationalizing Dress Checks. “The girls coming through rush want to see you look put together.” Sororities are driven by fierce competition with the other chapters and pressure from Nationals to fill their new-member quota with the right kind of dues-paying girls. The quality of the girls who select their house (and whom the house selects) can drastically alter a sorority’s statistics, such as its average GPA, its image, and its relationship with fraternities, depending on the looks and affability of the girls. Rush is such a nerve-wracking experience, for both rushers and rushees, that whenever I asked sisters what they liked least about sorority life, rush inevitably was near the top of their lists.

Rush, which generally lasts for a week or two, ends on Bid Day, when sororities give rushees “bids,” or formal offers to join. Many Greek systems run two rushes, a “formal” rush one semester—during which rules, quotas, and protocol are stringent—and an “informal” rush the other semester, with a more lenient structure and no quota. (Some sororities, especially those low on numbers, also have “open rush,” or “continuous bidding,” which allows them to induct new members throughout the year.) Several schools guarantee that every rushee will be assigned to a house. Depending on how many girls rush, the school divides that number by the number of sororities to determine a quota that every house must reach (in some sororities the quotas are derived by a more complex formula).

For some sororities, a rushee must provide a photograph and a wealth of paperwork, including recommendations from sorority members in her home state. To get these recommendations, rush guides recommend that girls wishing to join a sorority call or write the Panhellenic office at their college or university during the spring of their senior year in high school. “Any sorority alumna can send a letter to any chapter of her sorority or to a rec board, recommending that the sorority pledge a particular rushee,” says
Rush: A Girl’s Guide to Sorority Success.
“However, a letter of recommendation is not the same as the formal recommendation, which is a
rec
.” Sorority alumnae associations in cities and counties appoint official recommendation boards, though some sororities allow any alumna to write a formal recommendation.