Poison (30 page)

They had all loved her, believed in her. And she had not even wanted their forgiveness before she died. His tears were absorbed by Ivan's damp shirt, and the gentle touch of Ivan's rough hand absorbed some of his pain.

Something tore through him—tore out of him—when the Faerie Queen died. Ailill muffled his scream against Ivan's shoulder, nails digging into his skin through the fabric of his clothes. Ivan just continued to hold fast.

"It's all right,"
Gael's voice said gently in his mind, and the warmth that filled Ailill then eased soul-deep aches he had not known were there until the Faerie Queen's poison had been stripped away. It also reminded him that, while she had hated them, the Unicorn and the Pegasus did not. There were still two gods of Verde who cared about their creations, their children. "
All is well now—and safe."

Ivan loosened his hold slightly and kissed Ailill's brow, then his mouth. "You look as pale as the Basilisk, cat."

Ailill tried to smile. "I feel wrung out. Was it this hard for you, Vanya, when Zhar Ptitsa returned?"

"Yes," Ivan replied, looking at the cluster of gods, eyes lingering on Zhar Ptitsa. "He is the same and yet not. The little thief I knew and hired for years threw himself into a fire, and while that thief is in Zhar Ptitsa … he was only one piece of a thousand. Some days, I can handle it. Others, it is hard to take. Gods and mortals should not mingle, at least not much; in the end, hearts are left broken."

"I agree," Ailill said and turned away again, unable to bear the sight of Etain's lifeless body arranged at the base of the Sacred Oak.

After nine hundred years, the ceremony had succeeded. It should have been a day of joy. Instead, the joy and the beauty of Verde lay dead, the final victim of her own poisons.

"Shh," Ivan soothed. "Soon this will all be over, beloved, and we can go home."

"You weren't nearly this … warm and easy when we met," Ailill said, rather liking it despite himself. "I like the sound of going home." Though, really, as long as had Ivan, he realized he was home.

Ivan chuckled. "I have nearly lost you twice now, cat. It was hard the first time, unbearable the second. I don't know what you did to this old merc, but you are quite stuck with him."

"Good," Ailill said.

Smiling, Ivan kissed him. He started to speak, but before he could, the gods' mournful silence was broken by Gael. "So she is gone and life is now ruled only by two."

"Do you think you will be all right that way?" Raiden said.

"I think so," Freddie said. "We are not as wild a power as chaos, and perhaps two for death and two for life is the balance we should have chosen all along."

 Gael gestured. "If it proves not to be true, we will ask for help, and together find a new solution. But the power is settling, and I think we will be fine. The only difficultly now is the restoration of Verde, and that is our burden to bear."

"What will be your first step?" Raiden asked.

"Withdrawing," Freddie said. "The heart of this entire tragedy is that we were all too close—too close to each other, too close to our children. If we had drawn the lines that we were advised to draw long ago, much of this might have been prevented."

Culebra shook his head. "We all made mistakes. At least now we can fix them."

Freddie made a face and dropped the arms she'd folded across her chest, planting them on her hips instead. "Speaking of mistakes—we do not have Etain's true gift for creation, but we are still gods of creation."

"Yes," Gael said quietly and held out his arms. On the ground, the crown jewels that still draped Etain's body lifted from it and floated in the air between Gael and Freddie. "Power of nine and the soul of the Faerie Queen. Let this be in atonement for her great crimes."

Gold light shimmered and flared, enveloping the jewels, growing brighter still and spreading out to fill the Sanctuary—and then it abruptly shrank back, coalescing into a single small bead of brilliant light between Freddie and Gael.

The light went out and a small object fell into Freddie's open palm. She held it up, and sunlight bathed what proved to be a ring. Ailill stared at it in wonder. The crown jewels he'd collected had been breathtaking and rich with divine power, but the ring put them all to same. It looked like someone had blended together steel and a rainbow then shaped it into a ring.

Freddie smiled at whatever she saw in the ring before she flipped it to Zhar Ptitsa. "A ring of chaos, a gift to the child of chaos. Should he have need of any god as he journeys through Schatten, he need only call upon us.  It will add to his strength and power and help him fight the shadows that will hunt him."

"Handsome piece," Zhar Ptitsa replied and slid the ring onto his own finger for safekeeping. "I'll see that the recipient receives it when it's time."

"That should be soon," Kindan said. "Teufel's shadows across the world lengthen, which means he was forced to weaken his barriers. His power is fraying, unable to stand up to the restoration of the pantheon."

Zhar Ptitsa nodded, smiled. "The child of chaos will be ready."

"I wish you would tell us what you know," Raiden said irritably. "We have a right to know our own greatest avatar."

"You know I withhold his identity for his protection. Already Teufel is putting out feelers, his black monsters prowl all over the Jagged Mountains now. He'll stop at nothing to find and kill the child of chaos before his country is invaded."

Raiden heaved a sigh, but let the matter drop. Zhar Ptitsa walked over to Gael and Freddie and kissed each of them on the cheek. "We are happy to have you both back. I hope that your new life is better than the last; I already see threads that seem to indicate it will be so."

"Thank you," Gael said quietly, eyes flicking briefly to Noire, who stared back with the same ache of longing in his eyes.

"I think it is time for us to go," Culebra said. "We will leave you to take care of Verde, but call if you should need any of us."

Freddie nodded. "We will."

"Take care," Raiden said, and with a roll of thunder and a burst of lightening, the dragons vanished.

The Basilisks departed next after kissing Gael and Freddie farewell. Only Zhar Ptitsa remained, and he crossed the room to stand before Ailill and Ivan. "Bright day, cat."

"Greetings, Holy Firebird," Ailill replied, not quite certain what to say. Ivan was right:  Zhar Ptitsa was and was not Raz, which made speaking to him disconcerting and confusing.

Smile fading slightly, Zhar Ptitsa said, "No formality required. I am who I was, all I do is burn brighter. I counted you a friend and that has not changed. Did you find what you wanted then, Vanya? Ready to come home?"

"Yes, Raz," Ivan said, arm sliding around Ailill's waist and holding firm. "Take us home."

"Home? To Pozhar? But I can't—" Ailill stopped at the look on Ivan's face. "I can't just abandon them with all the devastation. I might not want to be a White Beast, but I can't keep ignoring my responsibilities—"

"You're not ignoring them," Ivan snapped. "You had a duty, and you did it. You nearly died doing it. What did everyone else do while you traversed a dangerous world, crossed hostile seas, and nearly died in a dreary inn in Pozhar? They stayed here, safe within their walls, squabbling like children. Chaos was there the whole time; they could have fought, could have struggled. This entire country ruined itself as much as the Faerie Queen ruined it. Nothing but lies, cheating, hiding, and keeping secrets—except for you. When you were given a duty, you carried it out, even though the cost to you was great. Zholty almost killed you, and you should not have been there at all."

Ailill tried to speak, painfully aware of the silence all around them, but found he couldn't do anything, but stare into Ivan's eyes.

"You gave up your home to locate the jewels, and you brought them home. If not for you, there would be no ring of chaos. What did any of these other Beasts do? As they began to fall one by one, did anyone else step up to try and help you solve the mystery? Did they offer any assistance at all? No, they slept around and hid and kept to their own affairs. They did nothing, not until it was too late for them to do anything except make a futile attempt to regain control. You've done enough. It's their turn. Let them fix the country."

"Vanya …"

Ivan smiled at him, that same wolfish mercenary smile that had first caught Ailill. It was a smile that reminded him of an old Pozharan saying: 
The only way to live is to burn.
"I have been a duke for the past two years, but I was a mercenary for twenty years, and before that I was a tanner with dubious morals. I say that you are coming home with me and anyone else who has issue with my behavior can send their complaints to the Tsar."

"We have no complaints," Gael said, face somber as he joined them. "Of course we wish you to stay and have always considered you one of us, but if you no longer wish to be …"

"I am a faerie child," Ailill said. "That will never change."

Gael nodded and embraced him. Then he placed his hands against Ailill's chest. Ailill felt a rush of power—and then felt it leave. Gael smiled faintly. "The least I can do is free you of the burden you've carried long enough and never wore comfortably, anyway. You will always be a faerie child, unless there comes a day you no longer desire that. But you are no longer a White Beast. Go where you like. If we need you, we will ask. But your fire child is right—you've done much for Verde, however little it seems to you." He kissed Ailill's cheeks then stepped back.

"Thank you," Ailill said quietly, and took Ivan's hand.

"Your hair is no longer white, cat," Ivan said. "It's brown, exactly as you said it was when you were a boy."

Ailill shook his head, too bemused to form words. "Take me home, Vanya."

Raz stepped forward then and took hold of Ivan and Ailill's arms. In a rush of heat and the smell of smoke, they vanished.

He and Ivan reappeared in an enormous hall of an old-looking castle. Of Zhar Ptitsa, there was no sign.

But the five men in front of the fireplace, rough housing as they ate dinner, all stopped and stared. Then they burst into grins and surged to their feet, clambering and clattering as they rushed over. "Hey, boss," Luka greeted. "Hey, cat. You both look like you had fun without us. That's not very nice, boss."

"Douse it," Ivan said cheerfully. "Fetch us clean clothes and bring more vodka."

"Yes, boss!" the men chorused, and they called out further welcomes to Ailill as they darted off to carry out their orders.

"He's right," Verenne said quietly when Ailill was gone. "We did nothing, but argue amongst ourselves and worry over trivial things. I ran away because I was mad, obsessed with my selfish concerns."

"That is overly harsh," Freddie said, hugging her tightly and looking for a moment very close to tears. "Do not underestimate Etain's influence. She is the one most to blame, and Gael and I carry the rest."

"We all carry blame," Lyall said, and the other Beasts all nodded. "We are trusted with power and responsibility as well and none of used it properly. But we can start to set all to rights now, though it will take lifetimes to truly make amends and regain the trust we have lost."

Gael closed his eyes and cast out his powers, felt all of Verde. "Much of the hate and the discontent were Etain's emotions trickling down. People will not be so forgiving of their gods, but they will forgive their Beasts."

"But who will lead us?" asked Rodrigue, and the others nodded and murmured around him, all of them drawing closer to stand with Gael and Freddie at the base of the Oak.

Noire, Gael noticed, hung back. He frowned at that and beckoned Noire close. Immediately obeying, Noire slid through the crowd of Beasts and embraced Gael. "You're okay," he said, voice shaky.

Gael kissed him hard. "You're alive. I was certain you were dead until suddenly you stepped into the Sanctuary and told Etain she should die." He rubbed Noire's lips with his thumb. "I do like when you show your claws, kitten. You don't bare them nearly enough."

"I've had enough of claws," Noire said miserably, then added, "And teeth."

"Teeth?" Gael asked, amused—and then horrified, when he saw Noire's hand.  "Your hand … oh, kitten. I'm so sorry." He held Noire tightly, one arm around his waist, his other hand cupping the back of Noire's head. "I should have kept all this from happening—"

Noire nipped his jaw, startling Gael into silence. "It's only two fingers, I'll be fine. And I was the one who failed so many times—" He broke off, tears falling down his cheeks. "All this time, you were protecting me from being killed, when really, all these centuries I kept killing myself."

"You were braver than anyone," Gael whispered and drew back to cup his face, kiss him softly. "Time and again you faced the sorrow, the tragedy, and threw yourself back into it just on the hope of having a small chance."

"I just wanted you," Noire said, a desperate edge in his manner when Gael kissed him again.

Gael caressed his cheek. "You have me, always, for however long you want me."

"Always," Noire said fiercely. "I'm tired of tragedy. It's time to make Verde great again."

"I agree," said Verenne. "We must make Verde a place of joy and beauty again. But if the gods are removing themselves from active rule, we are left without proper leaders."

"Everyone in this room is fit to lead," Freddie said. "You are still White Beasts, unless of course you want to be relieved of that title, those duties …" She left the sentence hanging, looking at each Beast in turn, but one by one they shook their heads and drew themselves up.

"We want to serve and do the job now that we should have done before," Honore said. "Let us."

"But we still need definitive leaders," Elianne said. "Twelve—eleven—no, twelve people cannot rule effectively without someone to oversee. We need a queen or a king." She eyed Noire and Verenne. "Perhaps one of each. Individuals close to our gods and whom the people already like and trust."

Noire frowned. "You can't mean me? I'm just the Voice."