Polished (24 page)

“Come for me, baby.”

But there were mixed feelings swirling inside her when he did. As he poured his seed into her, she was still left with a question hanging from her lips.

Snuggling up next to Spencer as he lay there catching his breath, she took his hand in hers and linked their fingers. She was silent, watching him blow streams of air through his beautiful pursed lips. “Spence?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Do you…” The words just wouldn’t make it out of her mouth.

“Honey, talk to me.” He pulled her hand to his mouth and placed a solid kiss on its back. “What is it?”

“Do you wish it had ended up differently…with Jack?”

Spencer tensed. She felt him seize up next to her. “That was…” It seemed his mouth was failing him now too.

“Spencer, it’s okay to say it was amazing with him.” She swallowed. “Because it was.”

He didn’t say anything for a long while. Then he patted her hand. “What we have, baby, is amazing.”

“What if there was more to that whole thing than we know? I can’t stop wondering if maybe… I don’t know.”

He sighed, long and hard. “Listen, we can’t get hung up on what-ifs, baby. It was just a crazy weekend.”

“It didn’t feel crazy. That’s all I’m saying.”

Spencer was silent. He stretched, kissed her quickly on the lips, and padded his way to the bathroom.

Chapter Sixteen

It burned so damn good. Every muscle in Spencer’s body was on fire and it made him want to dig in for more. Up on his mountain, nothing else mattered other than the air he sucked into his lungs and the way his fingers held the balance of life and death. This part of the Shawangunks was made for daredevils with a death wish. It just so happened Spencer was in that kind of mood.

He tugged up. Up and onward, never looking back; it was a good policy. A sharp wind curled around the thermal shirt he wore. His fingers were damned near numb. Up. Onward. He fought any desire to look down, to look back.

At the top, he found his reward. A great surge of satisfaction flooded him. He had beaten that fucker. The mountain hadn’t gotten the best of him. Only one other time had he even tried this particular climb, and he’d had to turn back because of high winds. Today, the wind could go fuck itself. He’d made it to the top.

Hands on his knees, he heaved deep breaths into the crisp November air and took in a slow panorama of the valley below. The grayness could have been depressing. Cloud cover shed a washed-out blanket of insipid light over the nearly barren trees. He dropped his gear and took a seat, grabbed a loose stone that had probably been on that mountain since the beginning of time and chucked it as hard as he could over the side. He didn’t hear it hit bottom, but that didn’t mean it didn’t happen.

His ankle had healed up just fine. No trace of the terrible accident lingered at all. But his ankle hadn’t been the only casualty of that ill-fated day. Things had almost gotten back to normal with Rory, or at least they’d established a new normal, post-Jack Rothman. Since that one night with the polka-dot apron and all the questions, Rory hadn’t mentioned him again. Spencer sure as hell wasn’t about to bring him up. Still, he thought about that night in the Hamptons a lot. There was no point in trying to pretend he didn’t, not when he was up here with just the mountain and his memories. He chucked another rock.

Right this very minute an invitation lay open on his kitchen table, one that Rory had opened over a lazy breakfast that morning. She’d been all excited when he’d given it to her with the pile of mail that came the day before.

Her eyes had twinkled and she flipped it over in her hand. “From the center! My advisor
told
me they were almost done with the renovations.”

Spencer had noticed an odd look appear on her face as she read it. Her lips had pressed together and then fallen agape. She’d taken a breath and gotten up with their empty plates in her hands.

At the sink, while scrubbing at sticky syrup, she announced what Spencer read in fanciful charcoal-colored ink on the beige linen card. “It’s a ribbon-cutting and fundraiser. Jack is going to be the keynote speaker.” She turned around. “I have to go. That internship had a lot of competition. I would look ungrateful if I didn’t show up.”

Spencer dropped the invitation on the table. “Of course. You need to go and mingle with your new colleagues.” They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. “You should go,” he said finally, and picked up the newspaper.

“The invitation is for two.”

Spencer had put the paper down a moment and then began reading again. Having a girlfriend who worked at a GBLT center was one thing. He wasn’t ready to immerse himself in the lifestyle—never mind lay eyes on Jack again. “Can’t you go with someone from school?”

“He’ll be there. I don’t want to face him without you.”

“Baby, there’ll be a lot of people there. You don’t even have to talk to him.” Spencer knew he was being an ass. Knowing it didn’t make it any easier to swallow.

She sighed and went back to the dishes. “I’m heading to my parents’ house this afternoon, remember? They need help with cleaning out the basement. There’s a bunch of my old stuff down there. Some of Brice’s stuff too.”

He hardly ever heard her mention her brother by name. “Want me to come?”

“No. Go climbing. I know you want to.”

And so here he was, up high above the world without the stress release his climbs usually gave him. His legs dangled over the side and he tossed another rock as far as he could before snapping his gear back on and beginning the long haul down.

He walked back to the parking area with his eyes fixed on the way each of his steps swept at the pine needles, so he didn’t notice the tall, lanky figure leaning on the car in the next spot. By the time he fished his keys out of his pocket and lifted his head, it was way too late to turn around.

“Can I fucking help you?” Spencer growled, missing only half a beat as he approached.

Jack rose off the passenger door of his black Audi and took half a step toward Spencer. “I dropped by your house but when no one was home I took a chance and drove over here. To the spot you told me about.” Spencer didn’t say anything. Jack chewed his lip and continued. “Well, I didn’t know if I’d find you, but I spotted Rory’s car.” He looked around. “She here with you?”

“Rory took my truck to her parents’ to haul some of her old shit.” Spencer opened the hatchback of her Honda and tossed his gear inside. Both of their cars together wouldn’t make a down payment on that thing Jack was driving. He slammed the door shut and cocked his head at Jack with his mouth set in a thin line. Jack looked back at him with cautious eyes wandering Spencer’s face. He looked good. Better than Spencer liked to admit. The warmth crawling up Spencer’s spine as they stood there watching each other wasn’t welcome. Spencer moved to the driver-side door and pulled on the handle.

Jack cleared his throat. “So…how have you been?”

Spencer whipped around to face him, the open door resting on its hinges. “What the fuck do you want, Jack?”

“I thought…” He ran both hands over his scalp, the sandy blond hairs flattening for a solitary second. “Listen, the way we left things was all fucked-up. I was hoping we could talk.”

Spencer shook his head. He was shaking off the hope that blanketed that statement. Hope be damned for the way Jack had made him feel, for taking advantage of their honesty, their vulnerability. “It’s been three months. There’s nothing to talk about.”

Jack took another step, narrowing the space between them. “You see, man? That’s just it. It’s been three months and I still miss the shit out of both of you.” His hand slid past Spencer’s ear and landed firmly on the roof of the Honda, causing Spencer to retreat back against the car. But Jack leaned in farther, relentless, demanding.

Spencer wanted to tell him to fuck off, to swing at him, anything but smash his lips against Jack’s and work his tongue into the hot depths of his mouth. But he couldn’t resist. The way Jack’s too-red lips called to him from the cold grayness of the day was more than he could fight. He devoured Jack’s mouth like he didn’t have a choice in the matter.

Jack’s hand landed against Spencer’s cheek as he kissed him back and pushed his body against him. He pressed his rock-hard cock against Spencer, like he had rights over him. And it felt so good that Spencer couldn’t make him stop.

It wasn’t long before Jack’s fingers sought other parts of Spencer’s body with growing interest. Palm flattened against Spencer’s chest, Jack’s hand meandered lower and managed to find his belt. Sharp tugs on the woven nylon ripped Spencer from the haze that had come over him.

“Oh fuck. This can’t happen.”

“Why?” Jack took a big handful of Spencer’s cock through his pants.

Spencer brushed away Jack’s hand, suddenly way too aware of his surroundings. “I’m not my fucking father.” Spencer spat the words like they were poison.

“No, you’re not. And I’m not mine,” Jack said. “That’s what I came to tell you. I’ve been working on getting my shit together these last few months. I’ve been working on becoming someone I can be proud of.”

“Good for you. Hope it works out for you,” Spencer said. He didn’t like the choke in his voice. Shoving a shoulder into Jack’s chest, he turned and ducked into the car.

Jack held the door open, bending down to meet him eye to eye. “The person I was before…I wasn’t someone who deserved you or Rory. Not even for a night.” Jack squatted in the pine needles that littered the wooded parking area. He placed his hand on Spencer’s thigh. “I want to deserve you.”

Spencer’s gut turned over on itself and the chills that swept his back and over his shoulders left goose bumps. He shivered, and he knew that Jack had seen it. “Maybe you should have thought about that before you tried your fucking head games on us.” He tugged on the door. Jack locked his arm against it.

“Let me explain about that.”

Spencer’s brow twisted into a knot. “You‘re gonna move or I’m going to have to make you.”

A grin swam across Jack’s lips. “I would really like to see that.” But he relented, backing away. “Call. I want to talk to both of you. Properly.”

Spencer closed the door. He locked it, although it was kind of a punk move. His fingers were trembling and the key just didn’t seem to want to go into the ignition. Jack was already getting into his Audi. Spencer watched the dirt kick up behind his tires as he drove off.

Then Spencer was left alone with his cock pressing insistently on the inside of his zipper. He needed to touch himself, the way Jack had touched him moments before. A few dozen quick, harsh tugs on his shaft and he could come with the thought of Jack’s mouth swallowing every drop. He could do it; no one was looking. But it would be settling for far less than what he really needed, and that meant the ache would still be left in his groin.

He cranked the engine and threw the car into reverse and stepped on the gas. The old girl screeched when she hit the pavement. Maybe he’d catch up with him; maybe he’d be able to flip him the bird as he passed him on the county road leading away from the park. Maybe he could flag him down and make him pull over for a blowjob in the grass, or a chance to feel Jack thick and hot in his ass one more time. Maybe they could talk it out, make sense of all the shit that had been cluttering his mind since Spencer last saw him. These thoughts all ran through Spencer’s head at the same time in a confused muddle.

The Audi came into view, and Spencer pulled up next to it. Jack’s hand was draped against the steering wheel, a far-off look in his eye. Spencer rolled down the passenger window and Jack must have sensed his presence because he turned to look Spencer’s way.

A gaping mouth, trying desperately to form words that didn’t seem to come was all that greeted Jack’s gaze. Spencer gritted his teeth and sped off ahead, slamming the accelerator and pushing the aging engine to her limit. He was running; there wasn’t any mistaking that.

What he didn’t expect was that Jack would chase him.

A fifteen-year-old Honda is no match for an Audi V8. Jack tailed him the whole way home. Spencer could see him in the rearview mirror, could even make out the intense look on his face. It licked like fire at his neck, sending a fever over him. Exciting him.

The Honda’s brakes moaned to a halt in front of Spencer and Rory’s house. Spencer was out of the car with a slam of the door in a matter of seconds. The door of the Audi was opening. Three quick steps and Spencer was pulling Jack out of his car by the leather collar of his canvas jacket. He threw him against the gleaming paint job. “What the fuck!”

Jack took hold of his wrists, holding onto Spencer as Spencer held onto him. Jack growled, breathing a hard puff through his gritted teeth. Spencer felt something melt inside of him as a thick and heavy sensation welled up and threatened to make itself known. Jack’s grip tightened and he thrust himself at Spencer, whipping him around to the hood.

“You can’t tell me you don’t want this.” Jack towered over him, his eyes boring into him and seeing the truth. “Stop hiding from who you are.” His face softened slightly. “
I
have.”

“Hey!”

Their attention turned toward the voice coming from the front stoop. Rory stood there with her hand still on the doorknob. She stood stock-still, waiting for one of them to explain.

Jack relented, and Spencer felt a twang of regret as he pulled away. Straightening his coat and looking a lot like he was trying to calm down, Jack spoke in an even voice. “I’m hoping I can talk to both of you.”

“That doesn’t look like talking.” Rory cocked an eyebrow and put her hand on her hip. Spencer pushed away from the hood and somehow got a handle on his impulses, glancing around their cul-de-sac for any nosy neighbors.

Jack suddenly shoved his hands in his pockets. The movement didn’t do much to disguise the bulge in his jeans. “Can I come in?”

Rory’s eyes flicked to Spencer. She was leaving it up to him. But Spencer didn’t want to go inside and offer him coffee, and talk all civilized about whatever Jack had to say. He didn’t want to think that there was a reason to hear him out, that his words might mend the rip in Spencer’s gut.