Present Perfect (52 page)

Halle,

Everyone deserves a thank you and goodbye. I love you.

Mom

Halle,

I wish I could have been there to wrap my arms around you when you were hurt and when you were happy. I wish I could have been there to wipe your tears away and to let you know things would get better while we ate a piece of chocolate cake. I wish I could have been there to share all your firsts with you. But where ever you go in life, I’ll be with you through my words and in your heart and soul. You don’t need to be perfect in your life, but always be present in it. The present is the most perfect gift you can have. I love you.

Mom

I knew the exact day and time when I fell in love with her, March 23, 1990 at 10:59 pm. I have always loved her. As a kid, I didn’t know what it was, I just knew I got excited when I saw her and I wanted to see her all the time.

I also knew the exact date and time when I realized Tweet had turned into a girl and I turned into a horny bastard. May 27, 2004 at 7:03 pm.

Tweet and I were walking to our spot. She stopped suddenly. “See a penny, pick it up. All day long you’ll have good luck,” she said in a sing song voice.

I chuckled as she bent down to pick up the penny. When I looked down, I couldn’t believe what I saw. The cutest, roundest, most beautiful ass in the world, that would fit perfectly in my hands.

She stood holding the penny up proudly like it was worth a million dollars. I couldn’t help but stare at her smiling lips. Her pale pink, heart shaped lips that I really wanted to kiss. I stood there hypnotized by them as I thought of other parts of her I wanted to kiss. Tweet was hot!

She wasn’t skinny like a lot of girls at school. She had just the right amount of curves in just the right places. Her legs were great, but the best part of them was that they led to that beautiful ass. Her chocolate brown hair hit just below her creamy shoulders and was always so shiny. Her eyes were incredible. They were teal color. I’d never seen anyone with eyes that color. When they looked at me, I swear they could see all the way into my soul. What the hell is wrong with me? I sound like a girl. Then I felt a twitching in my cargo shorts. Nope, I was definitely a red blooded, all American horny bastard.

I jolted from my fantasy when I heard her yell, “NOAH! ARE YOU COMING?”

I thought if I don’t stop thinking about your perfect ass and awesome rack I will. “Yeah, I’m coming!” I walked several steps behind her. There was a lot more twitching going on in my shorts that she didn’t need to see.

That entire summer I spent my time thinking about touching her, figuring out subtle ways to touch her, and touching her as much as possible.

Dear Noah,

I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to start this letter. I always hated that part of writing. The blank page is an ugly thing to stare at.

I was never sure about a lot of things in life except that I have always loved you. Every single minute of every single day that I have been on earth, my heart has belonged to you. It was never a question. Never a doubt. The love took on many different forms over the years, but it was always a constant. A gazillion books, articles, and poems have been written about it. We’re led to believe love is complicated. It’s not the love that’s complicated. It’s all the crap we attach to it and put in front of it, that makes it complicated. I’m sorry it took me so long to get uncomplicated.

Thank you for loving me. You’ve given me 1000 lifetimes of happiness. You showed me what it was like to be loved and to love. You are my strength, my hope, my peace, and my light. You are my everything.

Thank you for being my soul mate, the love of my life, and my friend.

Thank you for all the talks, the laughter, the music, and the quiet times at our spot.

Thank you for sharing your firsts with me.

Thank you for all the chocolate cake.

Thank you for all the tingles, vibrations, chills, shivers, and shudders you sent through me.

Thank you for holding my hand and for all the hugs. Thank you for my first kiss and thank you for my last kiss.

Thank you for being in my life. I’m sorry I had to say goodbye to you so soon. But you have Halle. She will give you strength and hope. You’re going to be the best father.

Thank you for giving me something to miss.

I love you deeply and completely. Me not being there won’t ever change that.

Goodbye, Noah.

I’ll love you forever, Tweet

I was folding up the letter when Emily walked in the house. “Hey, Noah.”

“Hey.”

“What are you up to?”

“I was just reading this letter, your sister wrote me.”

Emily looked at me with sadness in her eyes. She had been incredible during Tweet’s illness.

“So where’s my sweet Halle?”

“She’s in her room making sure she has just the right dolls for your girl’s night.”

“Well, that’s very important.” She paused looking at me for a moment. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just nervous for some reason,” I said, chuckling slightly.

“It’s going to be okay, you know. Why don’t you let me keep Halle overnight. That way you can stay out as late as you want. It’s been rough, Noah. You deserve a night not having to be somewhere at a certain time. Go and have fun.”

“That’d be great, Emily. Thanks. I’ll go pack a bag for Halle.”

“I’ll go do it.”

Just then we heard small shoes pouncing down the hall. I loved to watch Halle do anything, but especially run. She did it with such purpose and determination.

“Emmie! Emmie! Emmie!” Halle yelled.

Halle was so excited to see her aunt. She loved spending time with Emily, doing girly things. She ran across the room crashing into Emily’s open arms, which were waiting for a hug.

“Hey, chickadee. How would you like to spend the night at my place?”

“I would love it, but I have to pack more dolls.”

“Of course, that goes without saying.”

Halle turned her sweet little round face up to me. Concern etched all over it when she asked, “Daddy, what you doing tonight?”

“I have plans tonight. I’m going to meet a friend.” Emily and I exchanged a knowing glance.

“I miss mommy.”

“I know, little bird. So do I. Listen, I need to get going. I’m meeting my friend and I want to get there a little early.”

“Halle, let’s go pack up more dolls and maybe even some pj’s and a toothbrush,” Emily said.

Halle put her small hand into Emily’s and they started down the hallway to her room. I few seconds later Halle came barreling towards me. I picked her up and we wrapped are arms around one another. I squeezed her slightly and whispered into her hair, “I love you to pieces, little bird.”

The most beautiful light blue eyes looked back at me. The corners of her tiny mouth curled into a bright smile and she said, “I love you to pieces too, Daddy.”

I was so nervous on the ride over here that I had to wipe my palms on my pants a couple of times, they were sweating so much. I got out of the car and walked over to where we were meeting. I stood there trying to calm myself down. I stretched my neck from side to side, rolled my shoulders back and forth a few times, and took a few deep breaths. None of that really helped. Then I heard my name being said from behind me.

“Noah?”

I turned and stared at her. I swallowed the basketball size lump in my throat. My god, she was beautiful. “Hey,” I said, smiling at her.

“Sorry I’m late. The traffic from the airport was pretty heavy.” Standing there, she kept her smile aimed at me, but her eyes were taking in the surroundings. “Um…what is all this?”

Keeping eye contact, I got to her in three quick strides, landing right in front of her. “Can’t a guy do something special for his number one girl?”