Pretend With Me (Midnight Society #1) (34 page)

And when I woke up some hours later, I had never felt
so rested. The place was still dark so it must have been in
the early hours of the morning. The curtains were drawn
to the sides of the window and the moonlight shone into
the room, lighting up everything. I didn’t feel cold though,
I felt good – not too cold but not warm either.
“How are you feeling?” Eric whispered, as his arms
tightened around me.
“How did you know I was awake?” I asked, instead of
answering his question.
“Your breathing changed.” His voice was so low that it
blended in with the silence and darkness coating the room.
“So are you going to answer my question?”
I didn’t answer right away. Instead I let out a breath
snuggling closer towards him, burying my face into his
chest. His scent engulfed me and I breathed it in deeper,
not being able to help myself. “I’m fine,” I muttered.
“Do you want to talk about last night? What
happened?” I didn’t have to ask to know that he wasn’t
talking about the second stage of awakening… Eric had
been in my head, seeing everything that’d happened to me
through my eyes and as if it had happened to him…
“What's the charge?” I asked. They’d kept saying it
again and again.
“It’s a person, in this situation, it’s you.”
“Me?” I frowned.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Daren was your protector; you
were his charge.”
I thought about that for a while. “But what does that
mean?”
“Daren had a tattoo on his right arm, didn’t he?”
“Yes…”
“It’s what we call a seal… a type of supernaturally,
forced bond. It linked you both and because of that, if you
were lost, if you were hurt, or in any real danger, if you
were ever to need his help, Daren would've known
instantly. But it’s more than just protecting someone Jen...
When protectors are made, they're sealed to their charge.
Each protector can only have one charge, but a charge can
have numerous protectors, and it changes them... makes
them loyal only to their charges...” he trailed off.
“So Daren was supposed to keep me safe... Why didn’t
he shift and stop them?” I asked as bitterness seeped into
my voice, thick and dominant. If he’d shifted Brandon
might probably be alive. He might still be alive.
“He couldn’t. Zane didn’t know who you were. Your
life was never in any real danger until Zane found out you
were the pureblood. Daren could only shift to protect you
or himself.”
“That's dumb,” I muttered, thinking about it. They
were binding two persons together and the protector could
only shift if either of their lives were in danger. It was
stupid.
“Not really,” Eric chuckled. “You see when the bond is
made, the protectors become stronger… really strong, and
in the past some have tried to abuse that strength. Many
people died because of it. So to prevent something like
that from happening again, the seal was altered.”
“That’s why when they cut me he started to shift,” I
whispered, remembering his hand when he’d grabbed
Jenny’s throat. Only his hand wasn’t really human – it was
claws and animal-like. “That’s why he was begging me to
choose him,” I realized and a second, stronger dose of
guilt rooted in me. “If I had chosen him…”
“Yes… It sounded like Zane knew you'd choose
Daren. Jen, I’m sorry you went through that…”
“Eric…” I whispered, “thank you.”
“For what?” he murmured back and after a few
seconds I raised my head, staring at his face.
“For being there for me… for being you; just thank
you for everything.” Ever since he’d walked into my life, I
have been hurting him, doubting him, fighting him at
every step yet in the midst of it all he was unwavering in
his strength… in his faith in me. He never gave up. And
somewhere along the line of him not giving up, I realized
that I’d begun to heal.

I awoke to the God-awful sound of someone shouting.
It was distant yet loud enough for me to hear on the
second floor of the house. Instantly I stretched my hand
out on the bed to find Eric and wake him up so he could
see what was going on. When I only felt the soft empty
bed, I raised my head off the pillow, looking around the
room, only to find that he wasn’t here. I got out of the bed
going outside the room in search of him. Didn’t he ever
sleep?

When I did find him, I also found the source of the
screaming; it was him and Charde. They were standing in
the kitchen staring holes into each other, looking as if they
were fighting a war with their eyes, except Charde was
standing casually in a t-shirt and jeans, and Eric was glaring
at her while eating from a bowl of milk and cereal.

“She’s had a long night, she really needs to rest today,”
Eric mumbled and shoveled another spoonful of cereal
into his mouth, a hint of a smug smile tracing his lips. He
wasn’t even pretending to be sorry.

“Fuck you Eric,” Charde shouted at him. “At least ask
her.”
“What is going on?” I mumbled still sleepy and they
both turned to face me. Charde immediately burst out
laughing. I didn’t have the energy to do anything other
than continue staring at her.
“It’s too early for trying on your Halloween costume,”
she snickered as she walked up to me and smoothened out
my hair, “but Frankenstein’s bride is a good look for you.”
“What are you doing here?” I scowled at her, not even
bothering to pretend I cared how I looked. I didn’t have
the energy.
“The school’s ball is this week and the girls and I have
some last minute stuff to get; was wondering if you want
to come with.”
“Oh,” I frowned. “I think I already have everything I
need, but I’ll still go.”
“What?” Eric burst out staring at me. “Jen, you can’t
possibly-”
“I promised them I would,” I said interrupting him.
“Are you sure?” he asked, frowning at me and I
nodded.
“Jen,” Charde then murmured, studying my face. “You
okay?”
“Yeah,” I answered instantly. “I’m fine, just tired.”
“You look different…” she observed. “Can’t place it
but something is definitely different.”
Yeah, I thought, it was the second stage of becoming a
pureblood. “Nothing’s different,” I lied, forcing a smile at
her. “What store are you stopping at first? I still have to
shower and stuff so I’ll meet you guys there..?” I said, but
it came out as a question. Charde nodded, and after she’d
given me the details, and threatened to castrate Eric if he
refused to drive me to meet them, she hugged me tightly
and then left.
“Eat something first,” Eric demanded and I nodded,
stalking back to my room to shower and change.
“Are you sure you’re up to going with them today?”
Eric asked, even as he made me a sandwich, and then
again as he watched me eat.
A low grunt escaped my throat then. “You are
exhausting me,” I huffed out.
“Me?” he frowned. “You could have skipped it, you
wanted to go.”
“I promised them I would.”
“True, but I promised to take care of you…” he
paused. “How are you feeling?”
I didn’t have to ask to know that we were no longer
talking about going shopping anymore; we were talking
about last night; everything that he’d learnt and the second
stage. I swallowed silently, thinking before I answered.
“I’m okay,” I paused. “I mean I feel free and lighter
somehow…” I trailed off not knowing if I was making any
sense. Telling Eric and letting him in was almost like a
breath of air after being under water for so long. I could
breathe now. “What changed in me? I mean the second
stage is over but I don’t see anything different… I’m still
exactly the same as I was yesterday…”
“You won’t see it. It’s not something that happens on
the outside,” he muttered. “It takes a while to realize what
it is exactly, but you’ll know.” Then without explaining
anything more, he picked up my now empty plate from the
counter, washed it and then took my hand leading me
towards to garage.
Despite being dead on my feet, shopping with the girls
was fun. It was relaxed and carefree; like I was normal. At
least I felt normal. For just a couple of hours I got to be
the girl who had nothing to worry about; the girl who was
free. The girls did their nails and once they’d finished
buying accessories and shoes, and all that other stuff, we
had lunch and then headed back.
Even though it had been nothing but fun, I was still
tired. Last night I’d only gotten a couple hours sleep and as
soon as I got home, I was going to shower and go back to
bed. That plan changed the minute Charde dropped me
off and Eric came out to greet me. Something was wrong;
I could tell from just looking at him. He was too tense and
keyed up.
“Jen,” he whispered, taking my hand.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, studying him.
“You have a visitor,” he sighed, leading me into the
house, and the second my eyes found the girl sitting on the
couch, I recognized her instantly.
At my side Eric’s hand tightened around mine as I tried
pulling away from him. My steps got smaller and slower,
and soon all that kept me moving was Eric dragging me
forward. I wanted to turn around and run away, but Eric’s
hand kept pulling me towards her.
I couldn’t face her, not after what I had done. I was
sure that if she really did know, she hated me and though I
deserved every ounce of her hate, I couldn’t live with her
hating me.
When she looked up and her eyes found mine, she
stood up, turning to face me. I stopped a few footsteps
away from her, not knowing what to say. How could I say
anything to her? “I was worried about you,” she said, her
voice casual.
“Kris…” I swallowed with tears welling up in my eyes,
not knowing how to start this conversation.
“So Daren’s dead,” she frowned at me, her face going
hard and her voice emotionless. “He’s dead, and you’re
gone, and Brandon is... and I’m,” she paused and I knew
that she was holding back tears.
I ripped my hand away from Eric’s and took a step
closer to her. Tears ran down my face. I could feel it now everything all at once. I felt desolate and alone. “You
weren’t there, Kris…” I sniffed, fresh tears streaming
down my face. “You weren’t there and I didn’t know what
to do… I… I needed you, and you weren’t there…” I was
crying uncontrollably now.
I could feel every part of me aching for him. I felt each
crack that scarred me. My heart wanted to explode into
tiny pieces. My head was pounding. There weren’t words
to describe how I was feeling. Saying that I was shattering
was too mild. It was crushing and breaking, and wanting to
rip my heart out and die. “He’s dead,” I cried holding onto
her. “We needed you and you weren’t there. Daren and
Brandon needed you, Kris… How could you not be there?
Where were you?”
“Jen,” she held my face between her hands, staring at
me wide eyed and horrified. “Brandon was there? That
night he was with you..?”
I lowered my head, turning away from her as silent
tears rolled down her face. She didn’t know... she didn’t
know Brandon was dead too. After I’d gotten out of the
closet and back up to the room they were all gone;
Brandon, Zane and everyone else was gone, leaving only
Daren. I’d never seen them again. Did she think Brandon
was alive but gone somewhere? He’d done that before;
went off on a bender without contact for weeks. Did she
think he was on another bender?
“Kris…” I started not knowing what to say. “Kris…
I…”
“No,” she frowned at me realizing what I was trying to
say. “No, Jen!” she shouted and released me, backing
away. Her eyes went wild and distant, and I could tell that
she was holding back tears. Kris never cried; it took a lot
to make her cry.
“I’m sorry…” I mumbled, my voice breaking.
“Oh God,” she breathed out, her hands going to her
chest gripping the fabric of the t-shirt she wore, crushing it
between her fingers. “I did this! They were after me, I did
this.” Kris turned her head to the side, facing aw ay from
me. Her eyes closed and it was only then that she allowed
her tears to fall. They slid down her cheeks like raindrops
running down the outside of a window, silent and hiding
the storm raging on at the other side.
Seeing her like this was my undoing. This was it. I felt
every part of me coming undone and unraveling; the
carefully placed mask and hard shell shattered and broke,
leaving me raw. I found myself crying too and somehow
Kris was comforting me. She wrapped her hands around
my body, squeezing tight as though she was trying to
compress me back into being a whole person.
I told her everything that happened, and when I told
her about Brandon, she cried too. With silent tears running
down her face, she smiled at me and told me that it wasn’t
my fault.
I cried all night. I couldn’t stop crying. Everything that
I had kept hidden, everything that I had been holding back
came pouring out of me. I was finally grieving for him. I
was finally admitting to myself that he was gone and he
was never coming back. I would never see him again. I’d
never see his smile, never hear him laugh again. Daren was
gone and he was never coming back.
Somewhere along the night, my sobs had stopped. My
tears ducts had gone dry, yet I found that I was still crying.
All through the night Kris never left me, instead she held
me tightly without saying anything. Not once had she told
me to stop crying or that everything was going to be okay,
and I was glad. Even she knew that it was never going to
be okay again because no matter how much time passed, I
would never fully recover; we were never going to forget.
The scars of what happened would always be with us,
forever imprinted into our soul. The wounds would heal of
course, but it would never truly go away.
I heard the bedroom door open and then Eric walked
into the room, hesitantly from the sounds of his footsteps.
I kept my eyes shut as a long silent, still moment passed
over the room. “I just,” Eric choked out. “I just wanted
you to know that I was back,” he whispered. “I don’t
know how you could stand it, she’s so broken… I couldn’t
- I couldn’t see her like that… How is she?”
“Well,” Kris mused and I felt my face heat up from her
gaze. “She stopped crying…”
“And you?” he whispered. “How are you?”
Kris was silent for what felt like a long time. She then
let out a loud breath. “I don’t know yet…” she trailed off,
her voice breaking.
The silence stretched on for a long while and then Eric
muttered, “Have you slept yet?”
“I can’t, I keep picturing it… at least she can.”
“I’m not asleep,” I mumbled yet kept my eyes shut.
“I’m awake…” I sniffed. It took me a while to open my
eyes but finally, after a full minute, I found the courage
and slowly opened then to find Eric standing at the foot of
the bed, staring at me. “I’m all cried out,” I mumbled and
without giving him a chance to respond, I turned to Kris
frowning. “Sorry you had to see that.”
“Hey, don’t apologize to me,” she warned sternly. A
short silent second passed over us and her face softened.
Kris then let out a loud breath. “I’m glad you’re okay, Jen.
I was worried about you… you’re not just a friend, you’re
my sister and I love you more than you know. Don’t ever
put me through that again because I will personally kick
your ass and then make you clean up the blood when I’m
done.”
I smiled at her nodding. The familiarity that she made
me feel was overwhelming. It was almost like something in
the air had changed - shifted somehow, and I could feel
the difference sticking to my skin. It made everything seem
normal and sane once again. As if somehow it would all
fall into place again, and eventually everything would be
right.
Eric left the room then, probably giving Kris and I
alone time. I let out a breath, turning back to her. I
couldn't believe that she was here, in front of me. I had so
many questions for her too. How did she know where I
was, how long was she staying? God, I hoped that she
wouldn’t go back right away. I took a deep breath,
attempting to calm myself. “You’re here,” I sighed, not
taking my eyes off her. “How..? What are you doing here?
How’s Danny and everyone else? I mean I left and I…” I
trailed off, taking another deep breath.
“Relax, Jen,” she smiled. “Everyone is okay… they’re
all trying to deal, I guess… I trashed Danny’s car so he’s
busy rebuilding it,” she said and a wide smile spread across
her lips.
I looked at her confused. “Why?”
“He didn’t want to tell me what happened so I tied him
to a chair and took a bat to his car,” she said casually, and
the strange thing was that I could picture her doing this. “I
made the bitch cry; you should have seen him, Jen,” she
smiled at me again.
“What did he tell you?” I frowned.
“As it turns out…” she mused, “Danny hardly knew
anything. As far as he knows this is what happened – you
called Daren to get you and when he got there, he told
Danny you were in trouble, to call the police… That was
the last time Danny saw Daren alive…” she trailed off
staring at me. When I didn’t say anything she continued.
“Danny saw when they locked you in the closet and he
got you out… he didn’t know about Daren until he
followed you… and saw him… Jen, I hate to ask you this,
I really do… but are you sure you don’t know them...?” I
hated lying to her, but I didn’t want her to be involved in
the world that I was now living in. She didn’t belong in it
and to pull her into a place that was bloody and dark
because I was scared was selfish and unforgivable.
“It’s okay, Jen… I just had to ask,” she whispered,
looking down at the bed when I didn’t answer.
“I’m sorry,” I said still not looking at her. T he silence
dragged on for a second. “So how did you find me?” I
asked not caring about the answer. I really just wanted to
fill the silence and hear her voice. She reminded me of
home and family; of all the things I’d left behind. “My
Aunt?”
“Yeah. She gave me your parent’s address, who then
gave me this address.”
“What?” I blurted out. “Kris, you met my parents?”
“Yeah,” she nodded grinning. “Well not your dad, just
your mom. I told her I was on vacation… You have an
amazing mom, Jen… You’re lucky.” Kris’ parents had died
when she was a baby, before she had the chance to get to
know them. She hardly spoke of her parents but I knew
she wished she knew them.
My frowned deepened. “How come my mom never
told me that she met you?” Every once in a while I spoke
to my parents on the phone, and my mom never
mentioned meeting one of my friends from Trinidad.
“I told her I wanted to surprise you. I didn’t think she
would go for it… but she did… so I guess… surprise Jen!”
I burst out laughing. “You did surprise me.”
“Okay now I have a few questions…” I bit down on
my lower lip, staring at her from under my eyebrows. Kris
was very frank and observant. She could somehow look at
a person and instantly know if they were lying or telling
half truths. Her ability to reach out and grasp the truth was
uncanny. “You’re getting married,” she stated.
A feeling of deep shame spread through me at her
knowing about my engagement to Eric. It wasn’t that I
was ashamed of Eric - he was great and any girl would be
blessed to have him as her husband, I was more ashamed
of myself. What would she think; that I was moving on
already? That I had forgotten about Daren in such a short
time? Would she think that I had even really loved him at
all?