Pretense (70 page)

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"I just broke up with my boyfriend. These are our names, my address, and the plate numbers on our cars. If he follows me inside of ten minutes, call the police and tell them you suspect a possible attack."

"Of course, madam. Anything else?"

"No. Thank you."

Delancey was fine all the way home, her cynical thoughts keeping her company. Indeed, it had been easier than she thought. Why, she hadn't even kept him that long. He would still have time to pick up ice or whatever lame excuse he had given his poor wife.

Delancey's buoyant mood lasted until she had all the shades pulled, the door secured, and the phone unplugged again. It lasted right up to the moment she went to the bathroom and was violently sick. It took a moment for her to realize that she was sobbing, and when she did, one person came to mind. She nearly fell across the bed and dialed the number.

"Hello," Mackenzie said as she picked up the phone.

"Micki," Delancey whispered.

"Delancey?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Hi." Mackenzie told herself to stay calm. "Are you all right?"

"I need you, Mic." She said the words so softly.

"What's that?"

"I need you."

"I'll come." Mackenzie needed nothing more, her voice turning to business. "I'll get on a plane as soon as I can."

"Thank you."

"Will you be picking me up, Delancey?"

"I don't want to leave the apartment, Mic. I can't."

"All right. Are you hurt? Should you call your landlady?"

"No. I just need you."

"I'm on my way. I'll call you from the plane and tell you exactly when I'll be there."

"All right."

"Hold on, Delancey. I'm coming."

Delancey couldn't say any more, but Mackenzie didn't need her to. In less than half an hour she had booked a flight and was on her way to the Cummings'. Roz was surprised but glad for her. She left the housekey with her and said she would call. Roz

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and Adam promised their prayers and stopped to pray for her the moment she left.

I
want to beg You for mercy, Father,
Mackenzie prayed as she belted herself into her seat on the plane.I
want to beg You to spare my sister, but I have no right. You know best. Whatever this is, You are in control. Thank You that she called me. Thank You that she knew I would still care. The last months have felt like a year. I love her, Father. I need my sister. I hope it's in Your plan that she be with me again. If not, Lord God, give me strength, because I'll surely need it.

Mackenzie made herself stop. There was no one next to her in the posh leather seat, but it was late in the day, and fatigue, along with the emotional outpouring of hearing from her sister and rushing to the airport in Reno, was suddenly on her. The flight would take three-and-a-half hours, and she needed to be strong when she arrived. Just 20 minutes after takeoff, she was sound asleep, Delancey still lingering on the edge of her mind.

"Is that you, Mic?" Delancey called through the door after hearing the knock.

"Yes, I'm here."

Delancey opened the door, and Mackenzie had all she could do not to respond to her sister's appearance. She seemed to have dropped weight, and her eyes were red and swollen. They didn't touch, at least not at first. Wanting to be sensitive, Mackenzie tried to feel her way along. The women stood just inside the door and turned to each other. Delancey looked like a wounded animal, and Mackenzie had to physically restrain herself from hugging her.

"You came." Delancey stared at her.

"I wouldn't do anything else."

"Chets married," Delancey said softly. "He's been married for six years."

"Oh, Delancey, no!" Mackenzie quietly wailed.

"He has a little girl, and his wife is going to have a baby."

Mackenzie could hold back no longer. She grabbed her sister and held on with all her might. Delancey wrapped her arms around Mackenzie's back and sobbed. They sank to the floor in grief and pain, still holding each other and crying. Nothing in all

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of their lives hurt like this. Mackenzie felt as if she couldn't breathe, and Delancey wanted to die.

It was close to an hour before either one could utter a word, and by then it was only to agree to sleep. It was coming onto five o'clock in the morning when Delancey climbed into bed and Mackenzie took the sofa. Tired as she was, Mackenzie fell asleep praying for her sister and asking God to give her the words when they faced each other in the morning.

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Thirty-Eight

The Bishop women slept only until eight o'clock. Mackenzie was up first, took a quick shower, and started some coffee. Delancey also used the shower and then came to the kitchen table.

"Do you hate me?" she asked quietly.

"Why would I hate you?" Mackenzie said softly, turning from the counter.

"Because I wanted nothing to do with you until I needed something."

"I'll never hate you, Deej, not as long as I live, but I can't help you either, not the way you need to be helped. You can call me anytime, and I'll listen, but I can't make any lasting changes or help your pain very much."

Delancey looked at her. "I should have asked you this a long time ago, Mic, but what happened? What changed your mind?"

Mackenzie forgot the coffee and came to the table.

"I want to tell you, Delancey, but I don't want you to feel guilty."

"I already do."

"Why?"

"Because if you needed God, then I wasn't there for you. I wasn't a good sister."

Mackenzie had suspected as much but had never been given a chance to ask.

"You can't do that to yourself, Deej. Even if you had called or come to visit, the help would have been temporary. I needed permanent change, the kind Dad and Mom always talked about and I wanted nothing to do with."

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It was as though Delancey had finally caught on. "You believe it now, don't you? You believe what Mom and Dad did?"

"Yes. With all my heart."

Delancey could only stare. The change in Mackenzie was amazing. Even tired and her hair still dripping from the shower, the peace in her face was unmistakable. Mackenzie had grown very hard. Delancey hadn't realized how much. The change in her enabled Delancey to see things clearly. For an instant Delancey had hope, and then she remembered where she had been.

"I'm glad for you, Mic," she said sincerely. "I'm glad that you didn't go where I have and that you have peace now."

"But you don't believe you can."

Delancey shook her head no. "I knew better, Mic. I told you that. I've always felt guilty. I think forgiveness can extend to sins of ignorance, but not to sins when people know full well what they're doing."

"That's not what we heard for all those years, Deej-just the opposite. If the death of Christ was just for some sins, then the whole thing is a lie. I've found out that there are no lies involved except the ones Satan tells me or I tell myself. Everything God says is true. I'm sorry I took so long to understand that, Delancey. If anyone is to blame for your hurt, it's me. You've been following me since you could walk, and I led you astray."

Tears had filled Mackenzie's eyes, and Delancey's own mouth trembled.

"I've been a big girl for a long time, Mic. I have no one to blame but myself."

"I'm sorry he hurt you, Deej. I'm so sorry."

"I was ready to spend my life with him, Mic." Tears streamed down her face. "I was ready for us to settle down, have babies, and grow old together, but he belongs to someone else. I feel so awful, Mic. I was with her man. I feel just sick about that. I would love to tell her how sorry I am, but I don't want anything else to do with Chet. Everything he ever said to me was a lie, and the whole thing has made me feel so cheap and used."

Mackenzie went to her and put her arms around her. She asked God to work a miracle in her life, because that's what it was going to take. She knew she couldn't stay forever. Her trip home would come in two weeks, and after that, Delancey would be open and vulnerable to anything.

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Mackenzie heard the direction of her thoughts and reminded herself that she was not God. He had to do the work, and He was the one who could protect and take care of Delancey-no one else.

"I have something I want to say to you, Deej, but before I do, you need to understand that I'll always love you. My love is not conditional on your agreeing with me."

"You want me to become a Christian."

"Yes, I do, but I have a lot of things I want you to think about first. I'm new at this, but I keep thinking of things I read in the Bible and things Roz, Adam, and Pastor Gary have said."

"Have you told me about them?"

"Roz is the woman whose Bible study I went to that first day, and Gary leads the study. Adam is Roz's husband."

"Okay."

"Tell me if this makes sense to you. Chet was unfaithful to his wife. He sinned against her, right?"

"Yes."

"But what if he went around and told everyone else. Maybe he confessed it to a coworker, his neighbor, his children, and even his wife's parents, but never talked to her. Would that take care of it?"

"No, of course not."

"That's right. He sinned against
her,
and any apologies that need to be heard, need to be heard by
her.
It's the same way with our sin toward God. All our sin is against Him. It was wrong of you to be with Chet, and without knowing it you sinned against his wife, but the bigger picture is the way you sinned against God. He's the one to whom we need to confess. He's the one with whom we need to make things right. A holy God cannot tolerate our sin, any sin. Now, I want you to get up and make us some breakfast."

Delancey gawked at her. "
What?"

"I have a headache from not eating, and you need to think about what I just said." Her voice became dry and chagrined. "I would offer to cook, but you know how bad that would be."

Delancey laughed for the first time in eight days. Mackenzie chuckled a little, but Delancey really laughed, a little hysterical fatigue thrown in for good measure. She started breakfast, however-a meal she'd been skipping, along with most meals,

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since that day at the airport. While she baked and cooked, they talked.

"How do you
know,
Mic? How can you be sure there's been a change and you're not just imagining things?"

"Because of what I've read in the Bible. It's an amazing book, Deej. I try not to go on feelings, not that they never play a part, but they can't be trusted that often. I'm a writer, Delancey, so things don't escape my notice. If the Bible is some made-up work of man, then a group of geniuses got together and created a masterpiece. Either that, or the whole thing was preordained by a holy, mighty God. I choose to believe the latter.

"On top of that, there's no describing the peace I have. I didn't know I could be at such rest. I'm even writing again, and it's flowing beautifully. I'm not sure I'll keep it up after this book, but I'm fulfilling my contract with IronHorse because right now I think that's important. When I told Paxton about my decision for Christ, he was very happy for me. He could tell before I moved that I was unhappy."

"But I thought moving was your dream; you know, living on the water and owning a home."

Mackenzie shook her head as she remembered. "You didn't see me after I moved out there, Deej. I was a maniac. I ran like a fool. At first the house was enough. Then I wanted more furniture, so I started buying everything in sight. Finally, I went to Reno to buy a Ferrari, but I was treated like trash, and in my anger I took a long drive. I got a flat tire and met Roz Cummings.

"I was drawn to her, D.J. She's special. Her voice is just like Mom's. I see now that it was the Lord's hand on me even then."

"Oh, Micki," Delancey's said softly. "To have what you have would be wonderful. I can't tell you how much I envy you."

"You might not believe it today, D.J., but you can have it. It's not without a price. I nearly lost my sister, but the price God paid, the death of His Son, puts all my little hangups in the dark. It hasn't been easy, D.J., but it has been worth it.

"I even had to go so far as to understand that I needed my relationship with God more than I needed one with you. Right now you're dying for Chet, but you need God more than you'll ever need any man. No man can keep you from hell for all of eternity. And no man can give you a peace that no one can

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describe. I can hardly handle the thought of living forever in heaven without you, Deej, so I'm going to tell you what we always hated to hear: I'm praying for you."

Delancey was on the verge of tears, and Mackenzie could see she didn't want to cry. She fell quiet when her sister went back to her mixing bowl, but just as she stated, she prayed as she had been every day since September 5.