Pretty Dark Nothing (17 page)

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Aaron kicked a rock so hard it skidded a good ten feet across the asphalt. “Why should you care who I kiss? It’s not like we have a relationship. Are we even friends? You don’t have any claim on me. I’m not a dog that will come running when its master calls. You’re a real piece of work, Quinn.”

“Me?” The sting of his words worked through her like poison. “I’m not the one who keeps showing up out of the blue like some creepy stalker.” She spit back and immediately regretted it.

“Stalker?” Aaron stumbled backward. “Is that seriously what you think of me?”

Quinn covered her mouth, wishing she could take it back. “No.” She stuttered, frantic to repair the damage she’d inflicted. She reached for him, but he flinched away. “I was angry. I didn’t mean it. Please, I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry.” Pain flashed in his eyes. “Sorry for saving your ass over and over again with no thanks.” He slammed his fist into his palm. “Sorry I believed the kiss we shared meant something, that I let you get under my skin. And most of all, I’m sorry you were too blind to see how much I cared about you.” He huffed and raked a stray hair from his forehead.

Cared? Past tense? Turning her head from Aaron, she pulled her sleeves over her fingertips and wiped a tear from her cheek. She swallowed the lump in her throat and ran a hand through her hair.

“Aaron, I … ”

He closed the gap between them in two steps. His hands closed around her arms, clenching and unclenching them with every breath, feverish heat spread across her skin with his touch. Two pools of golden green looked into the depths of her eyes, and her breath caught in her chest. “Every time I get close to you, you push me away. I wanted to have one night, one second where I didn’t think about you.”

And then his lips were on hers. She rocked with the fierceness of his kiss, and she kissed him back, twining her hands through his dark hair, her heartbeat outracing his.

He pulled his mouth from hers, cupped the back of her neck, and pulled her forehead to meet his until they were eye to eye. “If you really want to know the truth, if I had to choose between you and Jenna, I would choose you,” he whispered, breath ragged, laced with what sounded like anguish. “God knows why because you sure as hell wouldn’t choose me over Jeff. I’m tired of playing games.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “I kissed Jenna to stop thinking of you. There. I’ve said it. I don’t want to like you, Quinn.” And with that, he let her go. “What I really want is for you to leave me alone.” Aaron turned, shoulders heaving, and stalked away. “I’m done.”

Paralyzed by the sting of his words, her first instinct turned to anger, she wanted to defend herself, but she couldn’t, not with the realization of how much he cared about her. She had treated him like shit, and for what? Jeff? Jeff didn’t give a crap about her anymore; he was with Kerstin.

Panic writhed within her. She couldn’t bear for him turn his back on her now.

“Aaron, please. Let me explain.” She ran after him, reaching for his arm.

Aaron stopped cold, slapping her hand away, turning his hard gaze upon her. “Explain what? How you run back into Jeff’s arms every time we get close? How you push me away every chance you get?”

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s really not. Jeff is with Kerstin, you either like me or you don’t. Simple.”

She wanted it to be simple, to tell him she could see herself falling for him, but the words stuck in her throat. Falling in love with him meant letting him in, and letting him in meant being vulnerable. He would see the real her, and the real Quinn was a mess. Voices. Shadows. Who would stick around for that kind of crazy? She sure as hell wouldn’t.

When she didn’t reply right away, Aaron sighed and shook his head. “That’s what I thought. You’re safe now. I’m out of here. Don’t expect my help again.”

Quinn watched him walk away. Truth was, she couldn’t imagine life without Aaron now. He’d been the only thing that made her feel sane. Why hadn’t she recognized it earlier? Why had she been fighting it? Aaron had etched himself on her heart while she’d been busy pining for a guy who had moved on. Erasing Aaron from her heart would be impossible. If she let herself, she would love him. It was now or never. She had to jump in or lose him forever.

“Wait. Please.” Quinn stepped in front of him, walking backward, getting in his way every time he tried to dodge her. “I’m sorry, Aaron.” She had to make him listen. “You’re right. I shouldn’t care that you kissed Jenna.” With Jenna’s name, he groaned and turned around to avoid her and walked in the opposite direction. Quinn turned too, putting herself in his path. “But I do, and that’s how I know you’re wrong about Jeff.” It felt good to tell him how she felt, a first step. Maybe if she could trust him with her heart, she could trust him with everything else, eventually.

Aaron stopped, but he wouldn’t look at her. Instead, he fiddled with a guitar pick he retrieved from his pocket, avoiding her pleading eyes. “What do you want from me, Quinn?” He sighed.

She took his hands and forced him to look at her. “Maybe it’s too late, but I want you to know that I choose you. Right here, right now. I don’t want you to walk away from me, from us, from what could be.”

Aaron didn’t move. He didn’t say anything. He stared at her, his eyes searching hers. Her heart hammered against her chest. A sliver of light crossed Aaron’s face.

“Oh my god! Look at your cheek!” She ran a finger across the puffy red welt rising on his usually chiseled jaw. He flinched. “It’s swelling up. You should get some ice on it.”

“It’s fine.” Aaron pushed her hand away. “I’ve had worse. Honest.”

“You put some serious moves on that guy. I didn’t know you were half ninja.” He didn’t even give the hint of a smile at her lame attempt at a joke. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, not sure what else to say. As long as Aaron still stood in front of her, she might still have a chance.

Aaron shook his head. “You’re right, it’s too late.” He didn’t move.

“If you really believe that, walk away. I won’t follow.” Quinn gave him an out, and he didn’t take it, but he still didn’t look convinced. “You said you thought our kiss didn’t mean anything, but it did, and that scared me. But I’m not scared now. I want to be with you, to trust you. I’m ready to see what’s between us. I want you to give me one more chance. Please.”

“Is that what you really want?’’

Quinn nodded, afraid to breathe in case he changed his mind.

“I’m a mess. I’m a fool. Please, Aaron. One more chance. I care about you.”

“You have a funny way of showing it.”

“Want to get out of here? Talk?” She motioned to the exit. “You have a car?”

“Motorcycle.” Aaron straightened and looked at her as if he were trying to decide whether or not to buy what she was selling.

“I’ve never been on a motorcycle before.”

“Won’t you be missed?” Aaron pointed at the stadium, thawing slightly.

“Screw them. I’ll be suspended by the end of the week anyway. Please, Aaron. I can’t go back up to those vultures. Run away with me. Please.”

Aaron sighed, took her hand, and twined his fingers around hers. He searched her eyes, and she didn’t flinch away, opening herself up to scrutiny, hoping he would see her sincerity. It must have worked because after a few seconds, he nodded. “Okay. Where should we go?”

“As far from Westland as possible. Somewhere away from brunettes and ex-boyfriends.”

He rubbed his jaw. “Okay,” he said decisively and pulled her through the rows of parked cars.

Aaron’s bike, slate black and silver chrome, waited in the parking lot. Her mother would freak if she saw Quinn on the back of a dangerous, teen-killing machine. Perfect.

Aaron ran a hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck. “Ever ridden a bike before?”

Quinn shook her head and with Aaron’s help, settled herself on the bike.

“You’ll have to wear this.” He wiped the inside of the sapphire-blue helmet with his sleeve. “It’s my brother’s.”

Quinn pulled the helmet over her ears. “Your brother must have a big head.”

Aaron adjusted the chinstrap. His hand brushed her cheek, and she shivered. “That better?”

“A little.” Her head felt like a marble inside a mayonnaise jar.

He removed his leather jacket and slipped it over her arms. The sleeves hung past her hands. “Put your feet here. When we turn, just ease your weight to that side. Follow the natural feel of the bike, don’t fight it, and don’t help it. Don’t put your feet down when we stop. Just sit there looking pretty and hang on tight. I’ll do the rest.” Aaron settled on the seat in front of her and pulled on his helmet. Quinn encircled his waist. “You might want to hold on tighter than that.” The engine sputtered and roared to life. Quinn felt unsteady on the bike as Aaron rocked forward, disengaging the kickstand with his heel, and she tightened her grip around his waist.

The first few seconds felt unnatural as they sped out of the parking lot. Making the first turn awakened the dragonflies within her heart, but when they didn’t crash, her heartbeat returned to normal. As they approached the second turn, she pressed her body into Aaron’s and felt what he meant about moving with the bike.

Faster and faster they rode through the night. Even with a jacket on, the wind whipped at her clothes, but she didn’t care. She leaned her head on Aaron’s back and sucked in the fresh scent of his cologne, a mixture of pine and cinnamon, reminding her of fall, while the steady rise and fall of his chest comforted her as she spooned him. Closing her eyes, she forced her lungs to match him breath for breath. Aaron, Quinn, free, exhilarating. She melted into his warmth. No one else existed in the world. She had no idea where they were going, and she didn’t care. She wanted to ride on and on, up to the moon, far away from the voices and rumors and drunken harassers.

***

Aaron stopped the bike in the middle of an open field twenty minutes outside of town. Soft autumn grass dotted with white and yellow wildflowers stretched as far as the eye could see. The tops of the flowers waved in the breeze, filling the air with a sweet scent. Fireflies winked in and out, weaving their light across the open plain.

The engine sighed and cut out. He dismounted and offered his hand. Her fingers fit within his like a puzzle. Even now, he sensed the truth of her feelings through their touch. No fear, no lies. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. If he hadn’t used his powers and sensed it for himself, he would have walked away and never looked back, but their connection went deeper than words, and he couldn’t turn his back on that.

“We’re here.”

“Where’s here?”

Aaron led her several feet from the bike through the ankle high grass. “Look up.”

A billion stars twinkled in the inky, cloudless sky. Each celestial body seemed close enough to touch. A harvest moon glowed bright orange among them, majestic as it hung suspended in heaven. Quinn gasped.

“You wanted to be far away from everything and everyone? Will this do?”

“It’s beautiful.” Not taking her eyes from the sky, Quinn settled cross-legged on the grass and pulled his jacket close around her. “Chilly isn’t it?”

Aaron rubbed his hands together and sat beside her. “Sorry I don’t have a blanket or anything.” He scooted closer, not sure if he should put his arm around her or not. Would she want him to? If he touched her hand, he could find out easily enough, but that would be cheating.

“It’s okay.” Quinn rested her head on his shoulder. “Mmm, you’re warm.”

Aaron’s palms started to sweat as she curled into him, nudging him onto his back until their bodies were close enough to fuse together. He was almost scared to breathe, afraid he might wake up any moment and find it was all a dream. The ground smelled damp and sweet. Crickets chirped their night song, and an owl hooted in the distance.

“I’ve never seen a more beautiful sky. It’s so bright tonight.” Quinn pointed to a constellation. “That’s Orion, I think. It’s the only one I can remember.”

“The Big Dipper’s the only one I know.” Aaron pointed to another group of stars. A jumble of questions lodged in the back of Aaron’s throat, about her nightmares, their connection, her sudden change toward him. He wanted to ask them all at once, but he’d never seen Quinn so calm before, so relaxed. Her happy mood pulsed against his consciousness, and he began to trust the moment, letting his desire to be with her sweep all uncertainty away. Maybe now wasn’t the time to probe her for answers. She’d had a rough night, if she wanted to forget the drama and talk about stars, why not? Maybe it was time to get to know each other better, like two people on a first date talking about normal stuff.

“What about the Ice Cream Sundae? It even has a cherry on top.” Quinn indicated a dense ball of stars.

“Or the frog?” Aaron said. “Catching a fly.”

“Oh! I totally see it! Can you imagine being born under the frog star sign?”

“Better than the sign of the fly.”

They both burst out laughing.

Quinn paused. “Sometimes I feel so insignificant when I look at the vastness of the universe.”

The ease of their conversation surprised him. All awkwardness disappeared, and it was if they’d know each other their whole lives, spent hours under the stars just like this.

“Yeah, I know how you feel. Billions of stars and galaxies, and humans have barely scratched the surface of what’s out there.” Aaron caressed her arm. “We have more in common with the universe than you know. We’re all part of it, made of it, of stardust.”

“Carl Sagan.” Quinn turned and smiled.

“You’ve heard of Carl Sagan?”

“My dad used to watch old videos of his show,
Cosmos
. He had a thing for stars, my dad … ” A worry line appeared on Quinn’s brow.

“How long has your dad been gone?”

“Long enough.”

Emotion surged from Quinn, straining against his barrier. He squeezed her hand. She squeezed back, and the intensity lessened.

“Do you think they’ve missed me yet?”

Aaron turned on his side to face Quinn. “Kerstin’s probably celebrating your demise.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.